Disclaimer - The characters in this story are mine. Any resemblance to any fictional characters is purely coincidental. This is an uber story and so the two lead characters may be familiar. Some locations contained within the story are real and some are fictional.
Love/Sex warning/Disclaimer - This story depicts loving, consensual sexual relationships between women. Some very light BDSM references are contained in the piece. If you are under 18 years of age or if the themes of these relationships are illegal in your country then I suggest you skip this story.
Thank you to my Beta Reader Norsebard. I am very grateful for your continued help and hard work on this story.
For my partner Lou. Your help, love and encouragement are my inspiration.
Ego dilecto meo et dilectus meus ( I am my beloved and my beloved is mine)
Song of Solomon 6:3
© Jenny Frame
January 1952 –
Lord Dalton closed her accounts ledger and looked at her pocket watch. “Tea time I think.”
Alex poured herself a cup from the pot the maid had brought in some minutes before, and walked over to her study window which looked over the grounds of her beautiful estate.
The fierce heat of the summer had given way to the cool of the late September days. Alex smiled when she spotted her wife Beth, walking with Agnes, her ex landlady, and her new friend Bertie the Beagle.
Alex had given Beth the pup not long after they had returned home after their honeymoon. She thought Beth would appreciate a walking companion as she walked the grounds of Dencotte each day, and she was right. Beth had been delighted with the gift, and Bertie became her constant companion.
The now eight-month old dog was very protective of his mistress, and given her wife's condition, this suited Alex down to the ground. She remembered the day they had discussed and planned extending their family. They had been at the London flat, and they lay on the couch after dinner holding each other close, and enjoying the crackle and warmth of the fire…
“This is heaven, my Lord.”
Alex kissed her wife's forehead tenderly. “It is indeed, Little Bit.”
They lay in comfortable silence until Beth asked, “Are you going to tell me what is on your mind?”
Alex looked at Beth somewhat surprised. “How do you know I have something on my mind?”
Beth trailed her fingers down the side of her partner's face. “When you hold me in your arms, I can feel the tension in your body. I know everything about you, my Lord.”
Alex laughed softly. “I suppose you do, Little Bit. It's nothing bad, or at least I hope not. I was just thinking about us trying to have a child.”
Beth jumped up from her laying position, looking worried all of a sudden. “You haven't changed your mind have you, Alex? I thought it was something we both wanted?”
Since they had discussed it briefly on their honeymoon, Beth had become more and more excited about the prospect of having a child, especially being around Kitten and seeing the joy that she brought Poni and Lotty.
Alex sat up quickly and took her wife's hand. “Of course it is, sweetheart. It's nothing like that. I just wanted to talk with you about...the means with which we will bring about our child.”
“What do you mean, Alex?
Alex had been turning the rights and wrongs of her idea over in her mind for some time now, and it was difficult to know how her wife would react.
She got up and took a cigarette from the silver box on the side table, lit it and stood in front of the fire.
“I told you a bout Dr Gerb er's technique of using an anonymous male donor?”
Beth nodded. “Yes I remember, darling.”
Alex took a long drag of smoke and blew it out slowly, giving her time to formulate the correct way to say what was on her mind.
“What if the child could not only be a part of you, but also a part of me, a part Dalton?”
“How is that possible? You don't have any family, Alex.”
Alex looked down at her feet as she said, “That's not quite true. I have a cousin. My Aunt Mildred's boy, Fredrick.”
“Why have you never talked about him before? You have an aunt as well? Why didn't you tell me?”
Alex could tell Beth was more than a little angry at this new information. She stubbed out her cigarette and came to sit with her.
“I did have an Aunt, she was killed in an air raid during the war. We didn't see much of her to be honest, she ran away from Dencotte when she was eighteen, to marry a very unsuitable character, a fortune hunter and a cad, my father told me. My grandfather was furious as you can imagine.”
Beth's initial anger had given way to curiosity. “She sounds like she was a bit of a rebel, like another Dalton I know.”
“Perhaps.” Alex smiled. “It turned out Grandfather was quite correct. As soon as it was made plain to him that he wouldn't get a penny out of the family, he upped sticks and left Mildred unmarried and expecting a child.”
“Oh my goodness. What happened? Did your grandfather cut her off?”
Alex shook her head. “Oh no. Grandfather might have been a little older fashioned than my father, but family has always been everything to the Daltons. He offered her the dowager house on the estate, and an income so they would be taken care of, but I think she felt embarrassed that she had been made such a fool of, so she stayed in London, and Grandfather, then after him, my father took care of her and the baby's expenses. School fees, house etc. She and Freddie wanted for nothing, and when I took over the running of the estate I did the same thing. When she was killed I had her brought back to the family mausoleum, to rest with her with her own kith and kin.”
“And what became of Freddie? Why haven't I met him?”
Alex again stood up and paced over to the fireplace. She ran a hand through her short hair. “Freddie's had a difficult time of it Beth. He's like us, like Tommy and Jamie...”
Beth thought for a second before the penny dropped. “Oh. He...um...likes...men?”
Alex smiled at her wife's innocence, even after all she had been through and the new life she was living. A large part of Elizabeth Dalton would always be that shy, young village girl she was when they met.
“Yes sweetheart, he likes men, and he struggled with it. Our way of life can be a lot harder on men. The police are constantly on the lookout at the pubs and clubs for any homosexual behaviour.”
“Did something happen to him?”
Alex walked over to the drinks cabinet, poured them both drink. “Yes. He was arrested for and went to prison for homosexual acts. When he was released…he was different, a shadow of his former self. He became very spiritual and decided to dedicate himself to several missions in Africa. I don't think he could stomach staying in this country anymore.”
“Poor boy. What a dreadful time he had. Did you help him? “Beth asked.
“Of course. He had already been given a substantial legacy when my father died and the Dalton foundation funds his work in Africa.”
“So he's willing to help us?”
Alex kneeled down by her wife's side. “Yes, Freddie said he hoped we would be very happy. What do you think, Little Bit?”
“He won't ever want to have anything to do with the baby would he, Alex? I couldn't bear to have someone interfere with the raising of our child.”
“No sweetheart, he will have no interest in the child. He's perfectly willing to sign papers to that effect with my lawyer, and don't forget, his entire mission and comfortable existence is at my bequest.”
Beth thought about it carefully and said, “Do you have a picture of him?”
“Um...yes. I should have one in my desk drawer.” Alex got up and went through to her desk in the other room.
“Here we go, I thought I'd have one. He always sends a card and a picture at Christmas to let me know how things are going over there.”
Beth took the picture from her partner, and looked at it carefully. “That's Freddie outside one of the schools the foundation has built. He does do very good work, I'm glad to help him.”
The dark haired, tall, handsome man in the picture looked clearly related to Alex. “He's defiantly a Dalton.”
“Yes, Freddie said it would be wonderful to help us keep Dencotte in the family. He can't inherit my title as he was illegitimate, but he is well provided for in my will, so I think he feels happy that the estate and the Dalton fortune will go to the child he helps us create. I can't tell you what it would mean to me to have you carry our own little Dalton. What do you think?
She looked up at Alex and smiled. “Our very own little baby? It's like a dream, my lord. I never could have believed I could have so much happiness.”
Alex pulled her wife to her feet, and kissed her tenderly on the lips. “If I have my way, Little Bit. We will have a lot more happiness head of us.”
Lord Dalton smiled remembering the excitement they had both felt that night. It had taken two tries at Dr Gerb er's clinic, but in April the Daltons got the happy news that Beth was expecting, and London society was awash with scandalous gossip about the unconventional couple.
Alex couldn't have cared less, her wife had given her more than she ever dreamed possible, and nothing was ever going to change that.
Beth seemed to be aware she was being watched, and looked over to Alex standing by the window. She smiled brightly and blew a kiss to her partner.
Alex, who was grinning right back, all of a sudden felt her smile falter as some dark thoughts crossed her mind. This is too perfect. It's all too perfect.
Her wartime nightmares had returned ever since bumping into Rowe Mathews in New York, and she hoped Beth hadn't noticed.
Rowe had played the part of the forgiving comrade when they met, but Alex was certain that was simply for Beth's benefit. Rowe had enjoyed seeing her squirm, wondering what she was going to say or do to Beth next.
Alex gulped away her night time fears. It had been eight months since that honeymoon meeting, and no one had heard a word from her since. As soon as Alex had returned home, she and Poni had visited some of her old haunts and found nothing.
Poni had counselled her to let the past go and was sure Rowe had done the same, but there was always a part of Alex that thought her happiness could go wrong at any minute. She looked out and saw Beth throw Bertie's ball for him, and giggle happily with Agnes. It filled Alex with joy to see her wife's carefree exuberance. Alex turned her gaze to the picture of her parents on the bookcase. “Watch over Beth, Mama, and Papa. She and the baby are the future of Dencotte, and I would die without them.”
***
Beth said her goodbyes to Agnes and walked into the entrance hall. Agnes was about to leave to look after an old family friend in Wales. Beth would miss her but luckily she had Mrs Mcluskey, Mrs Read and all the staff who really took care of her.
She walked into the Dencotte entrance hall and was met by her lady's maid Laura, and Charlie the footman who usually had the care of Bertie.
“Did you have a pleasant walk, m'lady?” Laura asked while taking her coat.
“Oh yes, it's a fresh bright morning. Is the master still in her study?”
“Yes, m'lady.” Charlie replied.
“Very good. Could you give Bertie his breakfast, Charlie? He'll be starving after our walk.”
“Of course. Come on, Bertie boy.” The dog jumped excitedly as he walked off with his friend Charlie, knowing it meant food.
In the months since Beth had taken her position as Lady of the House, she had thrown off her initial nervousness in dealing with the staff, and running the house's domestic affairs. She was now confident and clear on her duties as its mistress.
“Laura, Mrs Mcluskey was to meet with me in my writing room shortly, could you ask her to meet in the kitchen instead? I need to speak with Mrs Read.”
“Of course, Ma'am, and then I'll put out your clothes for you luncheon at Romsford House.”
“Thank you.”
Beth walked downstairs to the kitchen, and as soon as she was seen by the staff, they stood back against their workstation, and either bowed or curtsied in respect.
“Do forgive me for interrupting your work everyone.” Beth gave the servants a grateful smile and turned to the cook.
“Mrs Read, is it a convenient time to discuss the food?”
“Of course, m'lady. Sit down please. You must keep off your feet in your condition.” Mrs Read directed her to the kitchen table. “Ella. Pull out madam's seat, quickly girl.”
The young housemaid jumped to attention and quickly did as asked. “Yes, Mrs Read.”
“Thank you, Ella.” Beth smiled at the young woman, as Mrs Read held her arm helping her to sit.
Beth couldn't remember ever being happier in her life. Since she arrived at Dencotte as its new mistress, the staff had taken her to their hearts and did all they could to make her feel comfortable.
She looked around the kitchen and said to all who were there, “Thank you. You all take such good care of me, and I appreciate it more than you know.”
Mrs Mcluskey walked up behind them, the loop of keys hanging around her waist clinking together, “Because you are so important to us, m'lady. The master is a different person since she met you. You have brought joy back to Dencotte, and we are very grateful. Isn't that right, Mrs Read?”
“Indeed, Mrs Mcluskey.” The jolly woman rubbed Beth's hand. “Now, would you like some of your special treats while we talk, m'lady?”
Beth rubbed her large stomach and sighed, “Oh yes please. It seems an age till lunch.”
“Liz? Bring a glass of m'lady's special tomato juice, and snacks.” Liz nodded and set off for the fridge in the storeroom.
Beth indicated for both women to sit, and took out her notebook. Mrs Mcluskey had suggested it when she first became mistress of Dencotte, and it had been invaluable advice. In it she noted all the little housekeeping matters she noticed throughout the day, or forthcoming plans and brought it to Mrs Mcluskey's attention each day at their morning meeting.
She looked down at her pad and all the notes she wanted to bring up. “Well, first things first...”
“Excuse me, m'lady.” Ella placed a glass of Mrs Read's special recipe tomato juice, and a plate with pickled onions and some grapefruit segments.
Beth eyed the goodies hungrily. She lost count of the amount of times she had sent Alex down to the kitchen in search of these unusual combination of foods to assuage her cravings.
She picked up the glass and inhaled the spicy aroma of the juice, and took her first mouth-watering sip. “Ah, Mrs Read. You are a marvel. Tell me again what's in this wonderful concoction?”
“Tabasco, lots of black pepper and a few secret spices, m'lady,” Mrs Read said proudly.
Beth lifted a fork and stabbed a pickled onion and a piece of grapefruit, before dipping it into the juice and hummed in pleasure.
Mrs Mcluskey gave Ella a sharp look when she saw her grimacing at the Lady Beth's unusual cravings.
“Yum. That hits the spot. Now, I was thinking of something a bit different for the Woodwards coming to dinner on Saturday night. I know they are always game to try new dishes. Have you any ideas Mrs Read?”
After discussing a menu, Beth made her way slowly up from the kitchen. At the top she stopped to catch her breath. She looked to the archway that led to Lord Dalton's study, and felt the all too familiar tingle in her stomach. Since becoming pregnant five months ago, she was used to all sorts of unusual feelings and sensations, but this was the same feeling she had since first setting eyes on Lord Alex Dalton, and she believed it would never change, but Alex had.
Since she began expecting their child, Alex had been treating her like the finest of china. She felt loved and protected but their intimate relations were not the same, and it had started to worry her, and thought it was time it was resolved.
Beth walked as quickly as she could, given her large stomach, along to the solid oak door that was the gateway to one of Beth's favourite rooms. F rom the first time Alex had shown her this study, it had been a powerful representation of the person that Alex was.
The epitome of power and control, sitting amongst the aged wood and books, a whole county under her patronage.
Beth knocked at the door. “Come.”
She walked in and found Alex scribbling away in her ledgers, with the reassuring smell of cigarette smoke billowing from the ashtray. “My lord?”
Alex turned her head up slowly, and Beth saw the blue eyes that had captivated her body and soul, when she walked in the offices of the Dalton Foundation desperately seeking employment.
“Lady Beth, my beautiful wife.”
Beth rubbed her large stomach and laughed. “Not quite the svelte young girl you met?”
“Nonsense, you are more beautiful carrying my child than you ever have been. Come here.” Alex bade her over and pulled her down into her lap.
Alex said nothing, but trailed her fingers down from Beth's cheek and onto her sensitive neck. Beth gasped audibly, and tingles spread throughout her body. “You are the most precious and beautiful creature on this earth, even more since you are carrying my child, don't ever doubt that.”
Beth whispered, “I love you, my lord. Kiss me, please?”
“Anything, my Little Bit.”
Alex kissed her wife's sweet lips softly, while her hand caressed Beth's growing stomach. She thanked God for bringing such joy into her life, after living so long in dark, empty loneliness.
Beth tried to deepen the kiss, and lifted Alex's hand and placed it on her breast. Alex groaned, “Uh uh. Let's not get all hot and bothered, Lady Beth.”
But Beth was undeterred, and she placed gentle teasing kisses on Alex's neck, while her hand encouraged her to squeeze her breasts, which were fuller with her pregnancy. “I want to show you how much I love you.”
Alex moaned, feeling the incessant pounding within her gather pace. The feeling she knew she could not assuage.
She pushed her wife back, “You know what that does to me, Little Bit. We have a luncheon to attend soon.”
Beth's attempts at seduction stilled, but then she gave her a sly smile. “How about we meet back here tonight? I will serve your every need, and give you such pleasure, my lord. We haven't had some fun in your study for such a long time. Hmm?”
Alex had to fight back the growl that formed in her at the mere thought of it. It had been such a long time since they had done something like that, and Alex wanted nothing more than to lay her wife across the desk and make love to her. She had lost count of the number of times she had stolen her wife from the domestic affairs of the day, locked the study door and indulged every fantasy they both had.
Now it was different. Her wife was in a delicate condition, and she had promised herself that she would treat her with kid gloves. Nothing was going to take Beth away from her, now she had found such happiness, and so as her wife's pregnancy progressed she had tried to keep their lovemaking gentle, and most importantly safe.
She certainly would not have penetrative sex, or engage in any other of the rougher, dominance related games that they loved, or take pleasure for herself, no matter what her wife asked for.
“Sweetheart I don't think that would be wise, it gives me pleasure to make you feel good. That's all I need.”
Alex saw a flash of hurt on her wife's face for the merest of seconds, before her face returned to a forced smile.
“As you wish. I'll go and get changed then.”
She immediately felt bad as she was left alone in her study, but what could she do? She had to protect Beth and her baby, even if that meant from her.
***
Alex stood in her dressing room changing for her luncheon appointment at Romsford House. Her good friend, Poni Woodward had recently bought the place, as a country residence for her family wishing that her daughter Kitten would have a taste of the country life as she grew up.
She took her shirt from her Valet Thomas, and began dressing in front of the mirror.
“Would you like the country tweed suit, m'lord?” Thomas held the suit out for Alex's approval.
“Yes I think so and perhaps the green tie,” Alex said.
Thomas handed over the suit trousers and raised an eyebrow , “The one with the flying mallard ducks on it?”
Alex buttoned up her trousers and smiled with just a hint of embarrassment. How her life had changed, she thought. She was always impeccably dressed, but she had never worn something for the sake of someone else before Beth. “Yes...well its Lady Beth's favourite...and it always does to keep the ladies happy. Eh Thomas ?”
“Indeed m'lord.” Thomas chuckled and handed over the tie.
“Tell me, Thomas. How goes your courting of young Laura?” Although Alex was looking into the mirror, attending to her tie, she could sense her Valet's bashfulness.
“Very well, My Lord. We...umm...we've spoken about getting married. I wanted to ask your permission since her father's passed away. I know her mother, Mrs Evans looks to you for advice, since her husband passed.”
Alex remembered Mr Evans with fondness. He had been head gardener since she was a child, and in fact the Evans family had been in service at Dencotte for generations. She turned and clapped her Valet on the shoulder. “I couldn't think of a more worthy husband for Laura than you, Thomas. You can be sure of my full support whenever you and Laura decide to marry, and I will find you both a cottage on the estate.”
Thomas looked overjoyed. “Thank you, m'lord. It would mean the world to me...to us both.”
“Not at all. How is Mrs Evans fairing after her bout of flu?”
Thomas began to fix Alex's cufflinks onto her shirt. “Getting better, m'lord. I know she has been very grateful for the visits of Lady Beth. It cheers her up no end. Indeed the whole village is delighted to have such a kind and caring mistress.”
This Alex knew to be very true. Since bringing her back to Dencotte as her wife, Beth had thrown herself into village life and her duties as mistress. The village and the estate had come alive with excitement and optimism, in a way not seen since the days of her parents.
It re-emphasised to Alex just how important Beth was to her, and even more so now she was pregnant. She would now have an heir to secure the estate and the people who relied upon it for their livelihoods for generations.
She thought back to the look of hurt she had seen on Beth's face in her study. Alex felt badly about rebuffing her wife's plans, but was determined to protect her and their future no matter what.
Thomas held out her waistcoat and she slipped it on. “I'm grateful that Lady Beth has been taken to everyone's hearts. She is performing the tasks that have been sorely neglected since my mother was mistress. I believe my wife is going to visit with Mrs Evans again tomorrow. Now I better get moving, Thomas or I may be shot. Green mallard duck tie or not.”
***
The ride to Romsford House had been quiet, and distinctly chilly. Beth looked out of the window, apparently fascinated by the passing scenery. Alex let out a long sigh, “Beth, if I didn't know any better I would say you were angry with me.”
Beth continued looking out of the window as they drove into the gates of the Woodwards Country estate. “Oh? What makes you think that, Alex?”
“Perhaps the fact that the car windows are frosting up, or perhaps because you haven't said two words together since we got in.”
The car pulled up in front of the house, and Poni, Lotty and Kitten were waiting for them with the butler and housekeeper beside them. As one of the footmen walked down the steps to the car, Beth turned to Alex and sighed, “You know best, Lord Dalton. You always do.”
“Beth-” Alex called, but she was out of the car and greeting Kitten and the Woodwards.
Wonderful. When she got out Kitten ran and jumped into her arms.
“Wix, I miss you.”
Alex gave Kitten a big cuddle and a kiss. “I missed you too, my darling girl. Let's go and see your Papi.”
Up ahead Lotty was guiding Beth inside the house with her arm around her protectively. No doubt she would be the topic of conversation.
“Well, old chap. Looks very much to me as if you are in the bad books.” Poni said as they approached.
“You would be right.”
Poni patted her on the back and laughed, “Let's get you a drink. You look like you could use it.”
***
After lunch, Poni and Alex took a stroll with Kitten giving the ladies a chance to talk. “This is a fine estate you have, Poni.”
Poni smiled proudly. Although smaller than the Dencotte estate, Romsford House was still a substantial country pile, with large grounds for Kitten to run around and learn to ride on.
“I wish I'd done it sooner. Kitten loves it here. There's so much for her to see and do.”
Kitten, who was up on Poni's shoulders added, “Papi get me pony, Wix.”
“Your own pony, little kitten? You are a lucky girl.” Alex said.
“I can't wait to teach her to ride.” Poni said. “Although Lotty is nervous about it.”
“Yes, it'll be wonderful for the children to grow up together as we did,” Alex said.
They walked along towards the house and saw Lotty coming down the front steps to meet them. Alex immediately worried that there was something wrong. “Lotty, is Beth all right?”
“Of course. Poni, go inside with Kitten. I'd like to speak with Alex.” Poni looked confused, but acquiesced.
Lotty looped her arm through Alex's and they walked slowly towards the terrace. If Beth was all right, she was sure this sudden need to talk would have something to do with their disagreement earlier.
“Have you been sent to give me a ticking off, Lotty.”
“Now, now, there are few people on this planet who can give you a ticking off, my lord.”
Alex laughed. “Yes, and they are the three women in my life. My wife, Lady Grace, and yourself, Lotty. You have been like my sister since we met, and saw past my gruff exterior.”
Lotty raised her eyebrow. “Oh I don't know about that. I was a bit intimidated by you until I had spent a few more evenings with you, and then I realised what a teddy bear you are, just like my Poni boy.”
Alex put her finger to her lips, and whispered. “Don't say that so loudly, Lotty.”
“I won't, and anyway you know Beth would never allow me to tick you off, that's her job. No, she thinks I am talking to you about a christening gift. I wish to talk to you about Beth.”
“Lotty, I…”
“No, listen…Beth is feeling emotional and vulnerable, and you have the power to make her feel better.”
“If you are talking about our marriage bed Lotty, then I am immovable on the subject.” Alex said firmly.
“Alex, you and Beth are a passionate couple. It's part of who you both are. You match up so beautifully, just like Poni and I, and she fulfils her needs and wants by being a certain kind of wife to you. By denying Beth, you are making her feel like she is unwanted, unattractive and not fulfilling her role as your wife.”
“Now look here, Lotty. I constantly let Beth know how much she is wanted, but things are different now. She's carrying my child, the heir of Dencotte, and I will never put her or the baby in jeopardy, even if that means forgoing my own needs.”
Lotty sighed with frustration. “You are not making this easy, my lord. She knows how important the physical side of life is to you, and because she is not giving you that, she is worrying. Your wife shouldn't worry, my lord.”
Alex stopped dead. “She doesn't think I would ever break my vows to her does she?”
“Not in her heart, but women who are expecting have extremely emotional thoughts.”
The thought of Beth worrying that she would look at another woman made her feel sick. “What would you have me do, Lotty? You know what the doctor advises, he said no…” She wouldn't say the word that was on the tip of her tongue to someone else's wife.“No full lovemaking. I could hurt the baby.”
Lotty patted her hand indulgently. “You, like my Poni are a gentleman of the world. You know there is more than one way to skin a cat. Let her see to your needs, because as you allow her to do so, you are allowing her to fulfil her own needs as your wife. She will relax, and feel calm knowing her is content. She must feel that she is still a wife in your eyes and not simply a mother to your child.”
The way Lotty had explained it, had made perfect sense, and now her mind was whirling, considering all the possibilities open to her.
Alex gave Lotty a kiss on the cheek. “Thank you. You are right, as always.”
Lotty laughed. “Make sure you let Poni know that. I do try to tell her, but she doesn't always listen.”
***
Beth and Alex shared a more cordial atmosphere over dinner that evening. Despite that, it wasn't more relaxed. Every time Beth looked up, she seemed to catch her partner looking at her, ogling her breasts which were bigger not only with baby weight, but by her evening dress that pushed up and accentuated her cleavage.
Once they had finished dinner, Alex abruptly stood up and said, “I'm going to write a few letters before we turn in. I'll see you in a little while.”
“Alex?” Beth shouted after her, but she didn't look back.
“Would you like coffee m'lady?” One of the footmen asked. “Yes, please, Charlie, but I'll take it in the drawing room. I'd like to listen to the wireless for a while.”
An hour later, and she was knitting in front of the fire, listening to a play on the radio. Bertie was lying in his basket, luxuriating in the heat from the fire. Charlie came in and gave her a note from Alex. Join me in our bedroom.
Beth's heart began to race. She wants to see me. Bertie usually enjoyed the fire until later and then came upstairs so Beth left him and made her way to their bedroom.
Beth opened the bedroom door and gulped hard when she saw Alex sitting on one of the bedroom chairs, her dinner jacket discarded and her bow tie loose around her neck. She sat, legs crossed in a nonchalant display of power that made Beth willing to do anything she commanded. This was not the Alex who could cradle her gently in bed or comb her fingers through her hair when she was upset, this was the Alex who was her Lord, and master. She had not seen this Alex in months and she craved her so very much. Lotty must have spoken to Alex after she had disclosed all her worries to her friend.
Perhaps Alex was angry with her for talking about their private affairs, perhaps this wasn't sexual tension, and perhaps Alex was truly angry with her. Her penetrating stare forced Beth's eyes to the floor.
“Alex I-”
“Come in, and lock the door. I've dismissed Laura and Thomas for the evening.”
Beth could hardly speak. She looked to the bed and found some of the restraints they used lying there on display. This feeling was what she craved, her lord in total control of everything around them, even the atmosphere in the room.
“Come here, Lady Beth.”
The way Alex spoke to her made her want to crawl to her just to earn the privilege of touching her.
She moved to within a few paces of her, and still Alex hadn't moved a muscle. She had no need to and that's what made their relationship all the more exciting. A single word or infliction of her head could make Beth do anything.
“Why do you think I asked you here, Beth?”
“I…I'm not sure, my lord.”
Alex gave her a sly smile. “Really? My wife, ever the innocent virgin. That's what everyone thinks, isn't it? Beth is such a sweet girl.”
Beth gulped. “I…uh…perhaps.”
“But we know better, don't we? Your virginity didn't last long with me, you gave me it willingly, and now you belong to me.”
“Yes,” Beth said huskily.
“Now you belong to me and carry my child.”
“Yes, I do. All yours.”
Alex drummed her fingers on the arm of the chair in apparent annoyance. “But you've been derelict in your duties as a wife haven't you?”
Oh god. This is what she wanted for months, what she needed and had been denied. “I haven't wanted to.”
“But you have.” Alex slowly and carefully uncrossed her legs, and Beth's eyes went straight to Alex's crotch.
“You've neglected your master's needs. But that ends now. Take off your dress.”
Beth's hands almost shook with excitement as she unzipped her dress and let it fall, leaving her in her silky underwear.
“Come here and kneel. Carefully now.”
She did and Alex caressed her face with such tenderness that she could have wept. “I love you.”
“I know.”
With that message sent and received, the master was back. “Take off your bra. I want to see what belongs to me.”
She took Beth's hand and placed it on her own belt. “From now on, my needs are your top priority. Understand?”
“Yes, my lord. I want to be your wife in all ways, no matter what.” Inside, Beth was doing a happy dance. Finally Alex realised what she needed, and she would never do anything that would harm her baby, but she trusted Alex to make sure that would never happen.
“Then take care of them. Pleasure me.”
She unbuckled Alex's belt and saw she was ready for her. She pulled out her strap-on, tenderly caressed it at first. Beth heard Alex's breathing hitch, and at the first touch of her lips, Alex growled. “God, I've missed this so much.”
Beth gave Alex an erotic display of sucking and licking, knowing well how Alex liked to be teased, until she felt hands on her head, as Alex groaned in pleasure. “Everyone thinks you're a sweet girl. If only they could see how bad you are, but only for me.”
There was a pop as Beth released Alex from her mouth. “Only for you, my lord.”
Alex pulled her head back and said, “I want those breasts now.” She handed her wife a bottle of lubricant from the table next to her, and watched Beth drip it slowly between her breasts.
“I want them.” Alex sounded like an impatient child , but Beth always revelled in giving her what she wanted.
She squeezed her breasts tightly around Alex's cock and she began to thrust slowly. Beth looked up and watched her partner's eyes pinned on the sight of her strap-on slowly sliding between her breasts.
“I need this so much.” Those words meant the world to Beth. Lord Dalton, her master, needed her and no one else. She would give anything to have Alex always feel that way about her.
As Alex's thrusts got faster she said, “I want to fuck you.”
“Please, my lord. I want that, is there a way?”
“Go over to the bed and face the bedpost.” Alex, ever the gentleman no matter what they were doing, stood and helped her up.
Beth felt like her whole skin was tingling, she could feel Alex's eyes on her, without even seeing them. Then the hairs all over her skin stood on end as she felt Alex's breath in her ear. “Hold your hands around the post.” Beth's heart thudded so hard, she was convinced that Alex would hear it.
Alex took the leather wrist restraint and fastened her hands behind the bedpost. She felt Alex stroke her fingers down her spine. “Do you trust me, Beth?”
“I trust you with my life, with our baby's life.”
She felt Alex kiss her shoulder softly. “I won't go inside. Our baby will be quite safe. First, spread your legs.”
She did has asked and jumped when she felt the cold lubrication gel being rubbed onto her inner thighs.
“Relax.”
Alex opened her up and slid her strap-on between the lips of her sex. She gasped at the feel of it rubbing against her clit.
She groaned out loud and Alex breathed in her ear. “Now I can thrust into my wife, and take pleasure from you safely. Keep your thighs closed tight.”
“Yes, my lord. Anything, just take me.”
Alex began to thrust, and groaned as her strap-on glided between her thighs. Beth felt a constant friction of her clit being rubbed, and was moving her hips right along with her.
Alex must have taken off her shirt, because she could feel her partner's naked, muscular torso against her back.
Beth tested how secure her bonds were around the bedpost. She was held tight and not going anywhere until Alex wanted her to, and that thought made her all the more excited.
Alex's thrusts got faster and faster, until her breathing got shorter and she held the back of Beth's neck. “I'm going to come on you, bad girl. Are you going to come on my cock?”
“Yes…I am. I'm…” Beth fingers turned white as she held onto the bedpost.
Alex's hips jerked erratically. “Fuck!”
That was all she needed to hear. Her thighs gripped Alex's cock and she cried out her release.
As both their breathing started to calm, Alex quickly undid the restraints, and took Beth in her arms before giving her a deep kiss.
“I am so sorry that I pulled away from you. It was wrong. I should have found a way to give you what you wanted. Forgive me?”
Beth stroked Alex's cheek. “There is nothing to forgive, my lord. You were trying to keep us safe, and we love you for it. “
Alex lifted her in her arms and carried her to the bed. “I want to kiss you and love you, until you fall asleep.”
***
Alex smoked a cigarette and lazily stroked her wife's hair while Beth cuddled her from the side. She was so contented, and happy that it felt like she was living a dream- to think she had denied her wife for so long?
“What are you thinking, darling?” Beth asked.
“I'm thinking about what an idiot I am.”
Beth leaned up and looking down at her said, “You, my lord, could never be an idiot. Why would you say that?”
“Because I denied you…us…this. I've withdrawn from you because of a misguided idea that I was protecting you, and you suffered for it.”
Beth stroked Alex's cheek tenderly. “I haven't suffered. Perhaps I worried in the very back of mind that you didn't find me attractive, but I was just being over emotional.”
Alex stubbed out her smoke and turned so Beth was beneath her. “You are the most beautiful woman in the world, and when I started to see your body change as the baby grew, so did my needs for you. To see you pregnant with my child, a new baby Dalton, is unlike anything I could have imagined. If I could, I would have made love to you, Morning, Noon and night, but it also made me scared.”
Beth looked surprised. “Why would you be scared?”
“Because If I lost you…” She reached down and placed her hand on Beth's stomach. “Or the baby, I would truly be destroyed. I would never recover, Little Bit.”
Beth placed her hand on top of her wife's. “I'm fine, the baby is fine. Everything will be all right.”
“But pregnancy is such a delicate state. I want to wrap you up in cotton wool, and I suppose I was frightened what we enjoyed would be too rough.”
“Oh, my lord. I love you for loving us so much, and I know we have to modify the way we do things, but we need this. It's who we are, and I trust you to be careful.”
Alex smiled and moved down to kiss her wife's stomach. “I love you, little Dalton.”
“The baby loves you.” Beth stroked Alex's head.
Alex grinned and started to kiss her way down and under Beth's stomach, then disappeared under the covers.
“Oh, my lord!”
Two months later
Leon Fitzroy finished writing a letter to her parents, and sealed the envelope. She picked up a burning cigarette from the overflowing ashtray with her shaking hand, and inhaled the calming smoke. After stubbing it out, she downed the last of the whiskey in her glass, and left the letter on the writing desk.
She walked calmly towards the mirrored wardrobe, and sat on the end of the bed.
Leon took a picture of a beautiful blonde girl out of her pocket, and kissed the photo. “I'll always love you, mon ange .”
She stood and stuck the picture to the mirror. Leon hated looking at herself in the mirror, the angry, long scar that ran the length of her cheek was a constant reminder of her deep emptiness and self-loathing. Her dark blonde hair framed her gaunt, thin face that she hated so much. All she wanted was the anger and pain to go away, and end the torturous dreams.
Her eyes fell to the handgun and bullets on the dressing table. The revolver had been her wartime companion and she felt it fitting that it should be the method of her release from the hell she was living. She picked it up, took one of the bullets, and placed in the chamber. Her hands began to tremor ever more violently, and when she looked in the mirror, she saw beads of sweat dripping down her brow.
Leon caressed the picture of Juliet and said, “I can't live like this anymore, mon ange. Tell me what to do?”
She spun the chamber and brought the gun to her temple. Her breathing began to get heavier as she kept her eyes locked on the picture, and worked herself up into a frantic state.
“ Mon ange, mon ange, mon ange, mon ange ! Leon repeated like a mantra and pulled the trigger.
There was a click of an empty chamber and she dropped to her knees. Her whole body shook violently, and tears spilled down her cheeks. “Fuck…fuck! Oh God.”
She emptied the contents of her stomach onto the floor, and then lay in the foetal pos ition.
Her eyes looked up to the picture of Juliet and said, “Why wouldn't you let me stop the pain?”
***
Alex became vaguely aware of a groaning noise as she slowly wakened. Her eyes fluttered open and saw the time on the clock beside the bed. Quarter past three. She must have turned away from Beth in her sleep. The last thing she remembered was rubbing her wife's back and trying to ease the ache at the base of her spine.
Alex turned over and saw Beth rocking back and forwards on her side, and then came the low groan. She jumped out and bed and hurried around to kneel at Beth's side.
“What's wrong, sweetheart?”
Beth reached for her hand and gripped it tightly. “The pain in my back is worse and it's sore inside too.”
Alex's heart started to beat faster, but she tried to appear calm so as not to alarm Beth. “Why didn't you wake me?”
Beth squeezed her eyes shut, clearly in pain. “I…I was scared. I didn't want to think about what it meant…”
Her eyes then sprung open and she gasped. “Alex, I…”
Alex cradled Beth's face. “What is it, Little Bit? Tell me?”
“I think my waters have broken. It's happening too fast, Alex. I only started getting pain three or four hours ago. Something's wrong.”
Panic gripped Alex's chest. “No, no, don't say that. Everything will be fine. Don't panic. I'll wake Mrs Mcluskey and get the doctor.”
Alex kissed Beth on the forehead and hurried to get her dressing gown. “I won't be long. I promise.”
Alex nearly tripped rushing to the door while pulling on her dressing gown. Just as she put her hand on the door handle Beth let out a loud groan of pain. “Hang on, sweetheart. I'll be back as quickly as I can.”
“Hurry, and call Lotty. I need her with me, Alex.”
Alex felt a new kind of fear as she looked back at Beth writhing in pain. A child was something they both desperately wanted, but anything that brought danger to her wife was terrifying.
She quickly ran to the servants wing and wakened Mrs Mcluskey who quickly took charge and swung into action, organising everything Beth would need while Foster called the doctor. In a matter of minutes the house came alive with activity, fires were lit, and the kitchen prepared food and drink, and anything that would be needed.
***
Mrs Mcluskey and Laura helped Beth back into bed and tried to make her comfortable. She had instructed the maids to change the bed to the boil-washed white sheets they had prepared for. The new baby Dalton would come into the world with as much care as possible, both Mrs Mcluskey and Foster would make sure of that.
Beth felt another wave of pain build inside her and she gripped Mrs Mcluskey's hand tightly. “It's starting again.”
Mrs Mcklusey stroked her brow softly. “Take deep breaths m'lady. The doctor will be here soon. Laura? We need a basin of cool water and some linen cloths.”
“Straight away, Mrs Mcklusey. Ella come with me, I'll need your help.”
Beth tried to concentrate on her breaths and not let the panic she was feeling overwhelm her. Alex came hurrying through the door of her dressing room, hastily buttoning her shirt. Mrs Mcluskey stepped aside and Alex knelt at the bedside. She stroked Beth's forehead and said, “I'm here sweetheart. How are you doing?”
“It hurts but I just need to know the baby is all right. I'm sure something is wrong…”
Alex held her wife's hand to her mouth and kissed it. “Everything will be fine. I promise, Little Bit.”
A half hour passed and Lotty came rushing into the room. “I'm here Beth. Don't worry.”
Lotty rolled up the sleeves of her blouse and started taking over with Mrs Mcluskey as her second in command.
“Go outside and Poni will look after you, Alex.” Lotty ordered her.
Leaving was the last thing she wanted to do, but she did feel in the way. Lotty appeared to see she was torn and took her hand.
“She'll be fine, Alex. Go and have a talk with Poni, and you can come back later.”
She nodded and went over to kiss Beth's sweaty brow. “If you need me, I'll be by your side in a second. I love you.”
“Love you, my lord.”
***
Alex paced back and forth outside the master bedroom. Poni sat in a chair by the window, trying as best she could to keep Alex calm. At the bedroom door, Bertie lay guarding and waiting for his mistress.
From the bedroom they heard a long cry of pain that stopped Alex in her tracks.
“She's in agony, Poni. I can't take hearing her like this.”
Poni got up quickly and was over to her friend in seconds. “She has the doctor and Lotty, Alex. They'll take care of her.”
“Beth thinks there's something wrong, the baby was coming too quickly. If anything happens to them both I…” Fear gripped her chest and she automatically reached for her cigarettes to calm her down. Her hands shook as she fumbled with the packet.
Poni immediately took charge of the packet, lit the cigarette and handed it to her. Alex inhaled deeply and let out a long breath. “I'm never going to let her go through this again, Poni.”
Foster came walking up the hall with Charlie and Thomas behind him. “Excuse me, my lord. Mrs Read and I thought you might need some refreshment.”
Alex couldn't even think of food but appreciated her staff's effort at showing support for her.
“Thank you, Foster. Poni please help yourself.”
Another hour went by and finally Lotty came out the bedroom door. Alex and Poni jumped up immediately.
“What's happening, Lotty? Is Beth all right?” Alex asked desperately.
“She's doing well. It's hard on her because it's happening so quickly. The baby shouldn't be too much longer.”
At that moment, Beth let out terrifying scream. It was too much, Alex couldn't hold herself back any longer. She ran into the room and saw Beth looking absolutely drained, and soaked in sweat. My poor girl.
Laura was on one side of the bed holding Beth's hand and Mrs Mcluskey stood beside the doctor ready with towels and linens.
Alex was frozen to the spot, she wanted to move to Beth's side but her legs would not move. She had been in many potentially life-threatening spots during her time in RAF intelligence, but nothing had ever made her freeze like she was doing now.
She heard the doctor say, “Well done Lady Beth. One more big push now.”
Beth gave a low deep groan and the doctor pulled the baby free. Everything started to happen in slow motion for Alex. She saw Lotty come back into the room and the others gather around the baby.
The baby's cry woke her from her stupor and she staggered to Beth's side. She kissed her and felt the tears start to roll down her cheeks. “You did it sweetheart, you did it.”
Beth's breathing was heavy and raspy. “Is…the baby…all right?”
Alex looked up and saw the doctor and Mrs Mcluskey fussing around the new-born . “Doctor? Is the baby healthy?”
Doctor Richards smiled, “A big healthy baby girl, Lady Dalton.”
“Do you hear that sweetheart? We have a daughter.”
“Congratulations you two,” Lotty said before stepping back to help Mrs Mcluskey.
“I love you, Little Bit. I've never been so scared in my life.”
Beth managed a tired smile. “I love you, Alex. Can I see the baby?”
The doctor insisted on making sure the after-birth was passed and the baby tidied up first, but just as Mrs Mcluskey began to bring the baby over, Beth started to moan in pain. “Something's wrong, I can feel the pain coming back. Uh…uh…”
Alex felt her stomach sink to her toes, as the doctor hurried back over to her wife. “Doctor? What's going on?”
“Good God. There's another baby on its way. Mrs Mcluskey…”
Alex felt all the colour drain from her face…
***
Sometime later Beth cradled the firstborn twin in her arms while Alex held the second. Beth was filled with a new and deeper feeling of love for Alex as she watched her tenderly rock their younger baby.
Having twins had been a shock, a wonderful shock but a shock all the same. The second twin was born quickly, and the doctor informed them they were fraternal twins, and not identical. When she saw the second baby that seemed obvious, she was a lot smaller and had a petite frame compared to her larger big sister.
“We have a family now, Alex. It's more than I ever dreamed of.”
Alex looked awe-struck. “I don't know what to say, Beth. Thank you seems such an unworthy word for what you've given us, but it's all I can say.”
Beth's heart was brimming full of love. “You have given me so much, and giving you a family brings me such joy.”
“I now have three beautiful girls, and I promise you I will always take of you all, and protect you.”
She gave the little girl in her arms a kiss, just as the first-born in Beth's arms began to grizzle and cry demanding attention.
Beth rocked her gently, and gave her a little finger to suck on. “Looks like our firstborn is not shy or retiring. What will we call them darling?”
Alex looked down at the good-natured baby in her arms with adoration. “Why don't you choose, sweetheart? You did the hard work after all.”
Beth looked down at their first born and smiled. “This girl is Frederica Alexandria Dalton.”
“Only if you give your name to this little girl,” Alex said.
Beth smiled. “Mary Elizabeth Dalton to remember your mother as well.”
“Thank you. That means a lot to me, but why don't we call her May for short? Mary seems such a serious name for such a little girl.”
Beth nodded and they shared a wide smile. They heard a knock at the door. Lotty popped her head around the door and asked, “Is it a good time to bring in Kitten and Poni? Kitten is nearly ready to explode with excitement.”
“Of course,” Beth said.
Kitten pushed past her mother and came toddling in. “Any Bef? You have babies?”
“I did, come and see.”
Kitten reached Alex first and she lowered the baby for her to see. “This is May. She was born second.”
“Ello, May. I be your bef friend.” Kitten said.
Beth's heart melted, and looked at the broad smiles on Lotty and Poni's faces.
“Ou May's Papi, Wix?”
Beth watched Alex stumble over her reply. They hadn't really talked about what Alex would be called by the children, but it seemed perfect to Beth, that Freddie and May would call Alex the same as Kitten called Poni.”
“Yes,” She interrupted. “Alex is the babies' Papi. Come and see Freddie, Kitten.”
Kitten scrambled up on the bed beside Beth. “Careful, Kitten.” Poni warned.
“She's fine.” Beth said.
Kitten's mouth formed an o as she looked at Freddie. “She a big baby.”
Beth chuckled. “Yes she is.”
Kitten reached out and softly touched Freddie's head. “I will wuv you, Feddie.”
***
The Pride of England ferry puffed and chuffed towards the English shoreline, and the iconic white cliffs of Dover came into view. On the top deck, Leon Fitzroy inhaled sharply at the sight. After so many years away from Britain, she perhaps should have expected the sight to stir her emotions, but not as much as they had. The seagulls squawked above the boat and the water churned below, echoing the churn of emotions deep inside her.
Her hands shook as she took a cigarette out and lit it. She inhaled the smoke deep into her lungs and blew out slowly, calming her hammering heart.
Again she questioned the wisdom of this trip, as she had many times since it was suggested to her. After her failed attempt at suicide, she had found herself walking into a local chapel seeking sanctuary and comfort in her mother's religious beliefs. She had unburdened herself to the priest, and he had counselled her to return to the country of her birth, and crucially face her demons.
So here she was, after nine years of running away to every corner of the world, heading into Dover.
“Excuse me?” A voice beside her said.
Leon turned around to see an impeccably dressed, middle-aged woman beside her, holding an unlit cigarette. As ever when strangers looked at her, her gaze lingered on the long angry scar that ran horizontally down her left cheek, and the missing finger and nails on her right hand. It was simply one of her many scars, the worst of which were in her heart and soul.
Unlike most, the woman quickly righted her vision back to her eyes. “Could I trouble you for a light? I seem to have misplaced my lighter.”
“Of course.” Leon obliged the lady, covering the flame from the sea breeze.
“Thank you.” They both stared silently out to the view of the cliffs. “Spectacular sight, aren't they? My name is Victoria by the way. Delighted to meet you.” She offered her hand and Leon shook it.
“Likewise, Victoria. I'm Fitzroy, Leon Fitzroy. It is spectacular. I haven't seen this view for a long time, since during the war in fact.”
“That is a long time, are you glad to be home?” Victoria asked.
Leon thought about that carefully. Glad would not be the word she would use to describe the feelings churning inside her.
“Not glad, but let's just say it was time to come home and face some ghosts.”
Victoria gave her a warm smile and patted her hand. “Indeed, the war left many with ghosts and scars. I hope you conquer them, Leon. I'll leave you in peace. Goodbye.”
“You too, Victoria.”
***
Beth left the children in the capable hands of their new appointed Nanny Winnie, while she went in search of Alex. She had been concerned about Alex since Foster had brought a letter to her in the second post this same morning. She had been happily spending time with her in the nursery, when the letter came. After a quick read, a strange, tense look came over Alex then, but when Beth questioned her about it, she excused herself and asked for some time alone.
Beth checked Alex's study but she wasn't there. On her way out of the study she saw Foster walk from the drawing room.
“Foster?”
“Yes, m'lady?”
“Have you seen Lord Dalton?”
“I believe she is in her dressing room, m'lady.”
“Thank you, Foster.”
Beth walked upstairs to Alex's dressing room and knocked. There was no reply so she opened the door, and found Alex standing by her wall-mounted safe, a medal in one hand and a box in the other.
“Alex?”
When she received no answer, she walked up behind her, and touched her on the shoulder. “Alex? My lord?
Alex nearly jumped out her skin, and turned around with her arm raised. She pulled it down immediately when she when she saw it was Beth. “Don't walk up behind me when I don't know you are there. I have told you that before, Beth.”
“I'm sorry, Alex. I did call out to you but…”
Alex hastily put the medal back in its box and placed it back in her safe. “No matter. Did you want something?”
Beth was extremely suspicious. Whatever was in that letter had disturbed Alex. She could feel the nervous energy pouring off her. Something in it had made her retreat to her dressing room to look at her war medals.
In their short marriage together, Beth had come to realise that anything relating to the war made Alex tense, nervous and often angry. It was a taboo subject and she rarely tried to push her on it, but she didn't like being kept in the dark about something that so clearly caused Alex pain.
“Did you receive some bad news in that letter you received?”
Alex's eyes flitted everywhere but refused to meet Beth's. “Of course not.”
She walked over to the window and gazed out absently. “It was from an old war comrade. She asked if she could come and stay at Dencotte for a while, catch up with Poni and I.”
Beth walked over to Alex and placed a comforting hand on her back. “Is it the one we met in New York? What was her name…Rowe, yes Rowe that's it.”
She felt Alex immediately tense up all over her body. “No.”
“Who then?” Beth asked.
“Leon Fitzroy, or Lady Leona to give her formal title. She's been living overseas since the war, and has come home to recuperate after an illness I believe.”
Alex was definitely hiding something, or she almost appeared scared of something, as her muscles felt like stone they were so tense.
“That's a shame. Was she in the RAF too?”
“No, she worked for Intelligence in the French Resistance.”
This was more than her partner usually allowed her to ask. “How fascinating. How brave and noble you all were.”
Alex gave a hollow laugh. “There was nothing noble about it. War is a dark, dark business.”
Beth didn't want to push Alex too far, or she would probably run, so she returned the conversation to more stable ground.
“When will Lady Leona arrive?”
Seemingly relieved that Beth had let the subject drop, Alex turned around and put her arms around her wife's waist.
“A week or so I believe, she has some business to take care of in London and to visit her family first, only with your permission of course. It is your house as much as mine.”
Beth smiled. “Any old friend of yours, my lord, is always welcome at Dencotte. I'll instruct Mrs Mcluskey to prepare a room for her. It'll be nice to have her. You and Poni can talk old war stories together.”
Alex simply nodded, but Beth was concerned at the storm of emotions she could see in her eyes. She cupped her wife's cheek tenderly offering her comfort for whatever she was feeling. Anything associated with the war gave her a haunted look.
In a second the haunted look and tenseness gave way to hunger. Alex pulled her close and gave her a rough kiss, then walked her back against the wall behind.
“Alex…what…” Almost as soon as it started, it was over.
Alex pulled back sharply, apologised. “Forgive me. I shouldn't have done that.”
She pulled away but Beth took hold of her hand before she could run away. They hadn't been intimate since the birth of their children, and she wasn't physically ready to give her body to Alex, but she could satisfy her partner in other ways. “I'll give you whatever you need, my lord. You know that.”
Alex closed her eyes and took a breath. “I know, but it's neither the time nor the place. She leaned in and kissed Beth's forehead. “I'm going to send a telegram to Leon, and then going out riding. I'll be back later.”
“Alex wait,” Beth shouted but she was off and out the door without looking back.
Beth eyed the safe. She wanted to see those medals, and get some sort of clue about the Alex's past.
She knew the combination well. Alex had given it to her when they returned from their honeymoon, to store some of her favourite pieces of jewellery in until a similar safe had been installed for her in the master bedroom.
In all the times she had been in and out of the safe, she never knew Alex had her war medals there. Beth began entering the combination and paused when she heard the lock click. She had every right to go into the safe, Alex had always been very open about everything…apart from the medals.
The medals were personal and related to a subject that she didn't talk to Beth about, and that made her feel a little guilty. She took a breath and made her choice, Beth simply had to know what was worrying Alex.
She opened the safe and there, on top of bank books and legal documents, were two flat, velvet covered boxes, one bigger than the other.
Beth took the bigger one out and opened it. It contained four medals from the Second World War. They were impressive but fairly standard ones that she had seen on serviceman's uniforms. She opened the smaller one and gasped, holding her hand to her mouth.
The cross shape of the medal was unmistakable. Beth was looking at a Victoria Cross, the highest medal for bravery you could achieve in the United Kingdom.
“Alex was awarded the Victoria Cross and never told me?”
She ran her finger along the inscription that sat under the engraved crown and lion, For Valour.
Her initial awe turned to fear and nervousness as she wondered what Alex had to do to get this award. Victoria crosses were very seldom awarded, and when they were, it was usually to a serviceman who had died in their act of bravery.
“Why is she hiding this? She should be proud.”
What could be so painful that she couldn't tell Beth about it, and why was the visit by her old friend Leon dredging up similar emotions to what she had seen in her partner when they met Rowe in New York? Beth was determined to find out.
***
Lotty and Poni were enjoying a post-dinner cuddle on the couch. The lights were low and the firelight danced on the walls, and the wood crackled and burned.
Lotty snuggled in closer to Poni's chest and hummed in contentment. "Hmm...I love it here, Poni, so does Kitten. Thank you for buying it for us."
Poni kissed her softly on the head. "I only wish I had done it sooner. It's a wonderful place for Kitten to grow up. She, Freddie and May will have endless fun running all over the estate just as Alex and I did."
"She will. Poni? Do you ever regret that we didn't have another child?" Lotty asked.
"Why do you ask?”
Lotty picked at the buttons on Poni's cardigan. “It was when I saw the joy and pride on Alex's face when we saw the babies for the first time. You never got that joy, the moment of wonder when the new born takes its first breath and then is placed in your arms.”
“Now listen to me, little Piglet. I remember the same joy as you are describing when we picked up Kitten from the Dalton Foundation hospital.”
“You do?”
Poni turned around so that she could look Lotty directly in the eye. “The day we drove to the foundation to bring Kitten home, I was nervous, excited, frightened…”
“You were frightened?” Lotty asked with surprise.
“Oh yes. When you came home from the foundation after Kat's birth mother died, I was concerned.”
Lotty pulled back from her. “You've never told me that before.”
“I couldn't, Lotty. You were so excited about having this child, so determined to fulfil young Kathryn's dying wish, my concerns would have been read the wrong way.”
“I thought you always wanted a child with me?”
“Of course I did. Dr Gerber's method of giving the Dalton's a child wasn't available then so I assumed we would adopt but from a reputable agency, but with Kat there was a family out there who might hold us to ransom, and possibly try to take her away from us. So yes, I was frightened of falling in love with her and losing her.”
“You should have talked to me about it. I would have understood our fears.” Lotty said.
“What I'm trying to say is that when Kitten was placed in my arms, my fear turned to determination. As soon as I looked into her little eyes, I knew she was ours, and I would move mountains to keep her where she belonged – with us. So I did have the feeling that Alex did, and I think its right that we focus all our love and attention on her, unless you really wanted another child.”
Poni remembered visiting the family of Kat's birth mother with Alex. She never told Lotty what she found and never would. It was her responsibility to carry the burden on that knowledge, and what it took to secure Kitten as their child legally.
Lotty leaned forward and kissed Poni softly. “You are quite right. I'm perfectly content with showering all our love on Kitten.”
They were interrupted by their butler Henry, “Excuse me, master but Lord Dalton is here and requests a private word with you. I put her in your study.”
Lotty raised her eyebrows and smiled, “Off you go and have your private chit-chat then, I have lots I need to do.”
***
Alex watched her friend grow tense as she read over the letter on the other side of the desk. “Leon Fitzroy.”
“Yes, Lady Leon Fitzroy as she now is. Her father acceded to his brother's Earldom.”
Poni put down the letter and got up to pour them both a drink. Alex knew that time was a dark time for them both and a time they hoped to forget.
“What did you reply to her?” Poni asked as she handed Alex a drink.
“What could I say? As hard as it is, I said she was most welcome.”
“Of course she is, old man. You're quite right. We owe her a lot.”
Alex took a gulp of her drink and placed it on the desk. “Yes, we owe her our lives and so much more. If only people knew how many hundreds, thousands of lives were saved because of intelligence officers like Leon and their bravery.”
“Indeed, she is one of the bravest people I've ever met. I wonder what she's been doing all this time?”
“Wandering around Europe, so I believe. It seems she's come to a turning point, and if we can help her then I think we should.”
Poni looked to somewhere over her shoulder, and her eyes became glazed. “I remember when I was in that cell where she was being held, and listening to her screams of pain. It was only a few hours but I can still hear them in my dreams at night. When the Nazi's captured us during our rescue mission, I was scared for the first time. Scared of not keeping my promise to Lotty and coming home.”
Alex took a sip of whiskey. “I would have died before I would have let that happen. I always have a plan, Poni.”
“I know, and you got us out, but while we were being held I had one thing to hold onto, and that was getting back to Lotty, but Leon knew her girl was dead, killed by those who tortured her, and she still held out from unspeakable torture.”
Alex closed her eyes and tried to push away the sounds and images that haunted her own dreams. “I know, and we took the cause of her torment right into Leon's midst.”
“Francine.” Poni said.
“Yes, Francine. I feel guilt every day for that.”
“We trusted our superiors when they sent her to our squad, Alex. There was nothing we could do.”
“It doesn't stop the guilt or the images of the state we found Leon in, when we got into her torture room. It was…horrifying.”
Poni sat forward in her seat and said firmly, “Then we should put on our best front for Leon, welcome her, and help her heal. That's the best way we can repay her.”
Alex looked up at her friend and smiled. “I can always rely on you to give me a good talking to, old man.”
“That's my job as your best friend and second in command. Go home to your wife and children, and look forward to a fellow comrade's visit.”
***
Leon stood across the road from her parents' house in the London district of Belgravia. She took out a cigarette, and watched some of the staff come and go. So much had changed in the ten years since she had been back here. Her mother wrote to her continually through the years, keeping her up to date with news, as she traversed the globe, running away from her pain, but had never convinced her to come home. Leon inherited her grandmother's fortune when she was 21, and that allowed her the freedom to travel without worry. A few months ago, her mother had written to say her uncle Eustace had died, and her father had been elevated from Baron to the Earldom of Marchford. Leon in turn, had changed from the honourable Leona Fitzroy to Lady Leona , not that it mattered to her but she did feel guilty for not returning to attend her uncle's funeral.
She saw one of the family Daimlers stop outside the house, and she quickly ducked behind a tree to conceal herself. A footman opened the door and out stepped her mother. Leon was hit with a wave of emotion. Although it had been ten years since she had seen her, she still looked as wonderful as she remembered. Her mother was directing the footmen to carry in her purchases, when she suddenly stopped, and looked around her. It was if she could sense her child was there. Leon knew how happy it would make her mother if she walked across the road now, but her feet wouldn't move.
Leon just couldn't face the questions that would come to her. How could she possibly explain what she had been through?
She could not face it, so she turned her back and walked away. That's all you're good at, running away.
***
Josephine Stafford walked through the main room of the Alley Cat club. It was the middle of the afternoon and there weren't many patrons there at that time of day. A few people propped up the main bar, and a few couples were dotted around the seating area. On the raised stage at the far end of the room was a piano player, and the voice gave her tingles whenever she heard it.
Billy.
She walked towards the stage and sat down at a table right in front of her. Billy had spotted her and gave her a wink. One cheeky wink from Billy always reduced her to a giggling girl. Billy had charm in spades, and once she had accepted that she only wanted to use it on her, she quickly and smoothly slipped past the walls that had been around her heart, and they hadn't looked back since.
Jo had opened her own fashion house with investment from Billy, the Woodwards and the Daltons, and Billy had jumped at the chance to buy the Alley Cat when the previous owner had made it known she was open to offers.
It had given Billy the chance to perform as she felt like it, and to have a business that would give her something for the future and an interest to keep her busy. She had great plans to modernise the place and it made Jo so happy to see the excitement in her face when she talked about it.
Billy finished the song and swaggered down the stage steps to her table. “All right, Princess, what's a pretty thing like you doing in a place like this?”
Jo giggled and played along. “Waiting for my girlfriend.”
Billy sat down beside her and kissed her hand. “Well, you're all alone now, maybe I can keep you company?”
“Only until she gets here. We have an important appointment this afternoon.”
Billy raised her eyebrow and played dumb. “Oh really? What is so important that you can't spend some more time with me?”
Jo leaned forward to only a few inches away from Billy, and said, “We're going to look for a flat, we' re moving in together.”
“Moving in together? That is a big step.” Billy caressed her face with her fingers. “And there's nothing I could do to make you change your mind and stay here?”
In a flash, Jo said, “Not one thing.” She closed the gap between them and kissed Billy softly.
“If that's the case, what are we waiting for? Come on, Jo Jo.”
They hurried out of the club and got a taxi over to the apartment buildings. Billy asked the driver to stop at the end of the street so they could walk up to the apartment and see what the surrounding was like.
Billy got out and helped her out of the taxi a little too forcefully.
“Billy you're going to pull my arm out of its socket.”
“I'm sorry. I'm just excited. I can't wait to live with my Jo Jo.”
Jo smiled at her girlfriend's enthusiasm. They had come a long way in their relationship. Billy had worked hard to show Jo that she could trust her, and apart from the occasional wobble when they met any of Billy's overzealous fans, things were perfect.
They had been checking the newspapers for flats for sale and found a promising advert.
“We only talked about living together a few days ago, are you sure it's not too soon?”
Billy's face fell. “Don't you want to live with me, Princess?”
Jo couldn't resist her girlfriend when she had that little-boy lost look on her face. “Of course I do, cheeky chops. I just don't want you to commit to something and then regret it. I couldn't bear that.”
Billy took Jo's hands and looked deeply into her eyes, trying to show the sincerity of her words.
“I've never lived with anyone since my dad threw me out the house when I was fifteen. I know you don't like to talk about my past, but I've been with a lot of women, and I've never wanted to even stay the night with them. That's the truth.”
Jo's eyes became tear-filled, as she nodded her head in resignation. Billy lifted Jo's chin up with her fingertips, and smiled, “The difference with you, Princess is that I can't bear to live without you. I love you.”
“You really mean it? We've both got a lot of new things going on,” Jo said.
“Have I not shown you over the past five months, Princess? I've stayed with you, and followed you around like a little puppy. I want to be where you are.”
Jo jumped into Billy's arms, attracting some disapproving looks from the passers-by. “You are so sweet.”
Billy kissed her and said. “So now we've got all that hearts and flowers stuff done, can we go and see this great flat?”
Jo giggled at Billy's description of expressing her feelings. “Hearts and flowers?”
The couple started walking along the road again, and Billy said, “Yeah, you've turned me into a big pansy. It's only you that's ever done that to me. If my friends ever heard me like this, I'd lose my bad boy image.”
Jo raised an eyebrow and smirked at her partner. “Yes, maybe I'll tell them what tough Billy boy said to me in bed last night?”
Billy blushed as she remembered begging Jo to let her touch her, but regained her cool quickly and smacked her girlfriend on the bottom. “Behave Princess or...” She whispered in Jo's ear causing her to giggle.
“Okay, cheeky chops. I give in. Let's see this flat shall we ?”
***
Jo looked up at the Art Deco designed building in wonder. “Billy. This is beautiful.”
As soon as Billy had seen the 1930's building, she knew Jo would love it. Her girlfriend loved everything in the Art Deco style, art, furniture and clothes, and to live in this exclusive building would be ideal for her.
“It's perfect, Jo Jo, and look across the street.” Billy pointed towards a small park area, where people were walking their dogs, nannies pushing prams, and generally enjoying the leafy green square.
“It's perfect.” Jo gave Billy a kiss on the cheek.
“Yeah the agent said he'd meet us here.” Billy looked around and saw a very smart little man in bowler hat, at the top of steps.
“That must be him. Come on.”
When Billy approached him, he looked her up and down, obviously finding her turned-up jeans, boots and black leather jacket less than respectable.
“ Mr Ca rmichael?”
“Yes? Can I help you?” He said dismissively.
“I arranged to look at the three bedr oom flat. The name's Boyd.”
Mr Carmi chael looked down at his file and then back up at Billy. “A Miss Jane Boyd?”
Billy cringed every time someone used her given name, but she had to use it for official purposes.
“Yeah that's me.” The property agent had obviously never seen a woman like Billy before and he showed his displeasure on his face.
He looked down at Jo's arm looped through Billy's and said, “I see. I don't think this building is suitable for you Miss Boyd. It is a...family building.”
Billy saw the disappointment on Jo's face. “Give me a minute, Princess?”
“He doesn't want us here, Billy. Let's just go.”
She lifted Jo's hand and gave it a soft kiss. “Just give me a few minutes okay? Everything will be fine.”
Billy took the agent, and ushered him off to the side. “Do you mind, Miss Boyd? Really this sort of behaviour is uncalled for.”
She gave him a fierce stare. “Listen Carmichael, do you really want me to call your employer, and tell them you turned down a cash offer for this place do you?”
The agent started to bluster. “Um...well...no...very well, my apologies, Miss Boyd.”
“I thought you'd see it my way. Lead on Mr Carmichael.” Billy gave Jo a wink.
“Let's go look at this place, Jo Jo. You're going to love it.”
Jo took her arm and they followed the agent into the building.
***
“I'll let you look around, Miss Boyd,” Mr Carmichael said with as much displeasure as he could inject into his voice.
“Yes, if you would. Me and my girl need some privacy,” Billy said with a smirk.
The agent walked off in disgust, and Billy received a sharp elbow from her girlfriend. “Don't antagonise the man, B illy. He might change his mind about selling.”
Billy pulled Jo into her arms and said, “Nah. He likes money more than he hates us. So? What do you think, Princess?”
Her heart soared when she saw the smile on Jo's face. “I love it. It's just beautiful, Billy.”
Jo pulled away from her and walked around the living room, assessing where she could place furniture. “I could put my drawing table here, by the window, and look out on the park across the road. It'll be perfect.”
“Oh yeah?” Billy smiled. “And where can I put my pinball machines and my record collection, huh?”
“In the third bedroom and out of the way. Now, we'll need to find some newer furniture somewhere...mine won't really look right, and you hardly have one chair in your flat. Maybe from a house sale?”
Billy walked over to Jo shaking her head. “Oh no, Princess. We're starting our new life with new stuff.”
“But Billy. It's too expensive.” Jo placed her hands on Billy's chest and smoothed over her white t shirt in a nervous gesture.
“That idiot Roberta took everything from you, Princess. I want you to be looked after for a change, and I'm going to get us everything we need for our first home and good stuff too. I want you to know that you never have to worry about anyone taking advantage of you again, and I want you to have a home to be proud of.”
Jo sighed, and placed her head on Billy's chest. “You don't have to always make amends for my past, it was my mistake.”
Billy wrapped her arms around Jo tightly, and kissed her head. “It wasn't your mistake. You have such a kind heart Princess, and she took advantage of that. Now I have you, I want you to have nothing but good memories, so don't fight it. Okay?”
Jo rose up on her tip-toes and gave Billy a peck on the nose. “If you say so, cheeky chops. Let's make an offer Mr Obnoxious out there can't refuse. And then you can take me shopping, Billy boy.”
“That's my girl.” Billy swung her around in the air.
***
Leon was strapped down to a table in an ancient castle room surround by four Nazi guards. She was manacled to the table naked, her whole body was in pain from top to bottom, and I could feel the blood seeping from the long ragged cut down her cheek. She had been left alone for an hour or so to contemplate her situation when she heard the heavy castle door creak open. The soldiers guarding her stood to attention. Her heart sank and her breathing increased as she realised the Commandant was back.
“Well, Leona, I hope your solitude has given you time to reflect?”
She had no choice but to endure whatever torture they had in store for her. Hundreds of allied lives were at stake. All she could pray for is that death would come as soon as possible and she could join Juliet.
The commandant peered down at her waiting for an answer. “Well?”
“I have nothing to say.” She shouted in as loud a voice as she could muster.
He sneered at her, and she got the feeling he was almost pleased that he got to inflict more pain on her. He was a truly sadistic man.
“I told you when we started that you would beg for death, but I will keep you alive no matter what it takes until I get my information.”
He walked over to a wooden case and stroked his hands over the wood as if anticipating what was to come. He opened it and selected a pair of long handled pliers.
Leon started to feel sick as he approached her with them, and she started to recite the words to Juliet's favourite song in her head.
She screamed in agony as he started to slowly pull off her first fingernail. The Commandant laughed as she cried out and even through the unbearable agony she continued to recite the words out loud and manically. As she did she blocked out all that he was saying and entered a state of delirium.
A golden light opened up in the heavy castle door, and out walked a smiling Juliet. Leon repeated her term of endearment for Juliet. “ Mon ange, mon ange .” My angel, my angel.
She heard Juliet say, Hold on, Leon, hold on…
“No! No!” Leon woke gasping in the bed of the cheap hotel room she had rented. She swung her legs out and grabbed for the open bottle of whiskey on the side table. Her hands were shaking uncontrollably, but she eventually managed to pour out a large measure and downed it in one. She then opened up her bottle of nerve pills, and swallowed them, slamming back a few more measures.
She lit a cigarette and started to calm slightly. The dreams were her constant companion but this was the worst for a while. Her doctor had warned this might be the case as she returned to face her ghosts, but it if she wanted to recover then she must deal with it.
The reality was hard though, and as she looked around the cheap hotel room, she felt suffocated. She had to get out, so she pulled on her clothes quickly, and took out her wallet. She looked down at the scantily-dressed woman fast asleep on the bed, and felt guilt as she always did. Guilt for trying to find comfort in a woman, and betraying Juliet, and guilt for using a woman who was paid to be in her bed.
Leon took out her wallet and threw double the amount of money needed onto the bed, and walked out the door, hoping the cold night air would clear her head.
***
The next day Beth and Lotty were visiting Laura's mot her, Mrs Evans. She had been ill with a bout of the flu that had knocked her off her feet while a while. Beth took her duties as Lady of the manor very seriously and took time to help or visit any of Dencotte's villagers who needed her.
She sat on the bed, while Mrs Evans was propped up on pillows.
“It's so kind of you to visit, my lady, and you too Mrs Woodward. It's really cheered me up.”
Beth covered her hand with her own and said, “It's our pleasure.”
She picked up the basket of food on the bed. “Now remember to eat and keep your strength, I've brought some freshly baked bread, fruit and Mrs Read's special chicken broth . She says it's perfect to build you up again.”
“Thank you, my lady. That's very kind.”
“Anything you need just tell Laura, and we'll be happy to help. I'll bring Freddie and May the next time, as long as they're not too loud for you.” Beth got up and buttoned her coat.
“Oh no, that would be wonderful. A real tonic.” Mrs Evans said.
“I hope you feel better soo n, Mrs Evans,” Lotty added.
They were shown out by Mrs Evans' younger daughter and Beth asked,
“Lotty, do you mind if we walk down to the village? I could do with some fresh air.
“Of course.”
They stopped by the car and Beth asked Alfie to wait for them by the Post Office in the village. Lotty gave Beth her arm, and they started to walk slowly down the country road towards the village. They walked along in silence for a few minutes, enjoying the sounds of the birds, and the rural environment of Dencotte. Beth had fallen in love with the village and land just as she had with Alex. It was not only an idyllic place to live, it also had a wonderful sense of community that gave her a sense of family and belonging that she had never felt alone.
“Lotty, did you know Alex had a Victoria Cross?”
Lotty stopped dead and looked at Beth nervously. “Did Alex tell you that?”
“No, I found it in the safe.”
“Ah…yes I knew.” They began walking slowly along the country road again.
“Why wouldn't she have told me about it? Why keep it a secret? It's something to be proud of surely.”
“War is a difficult business, Beth. I think both Alex and Poni do their best to forget about it.”
Beth sighed in frustration. “I know war isn't pleasant, that's all Alex keeps telling me, but I'm her wife. She should be able to tell me.”
Lotty rubbed Beth's hand in a soothing gesture. “Beth, even I don't know all of what Poni did during the war. I had to stay at home, with Lady Grace, knowing nothing of their missions and pray to God that they would come home. When they did come home, all I could do was try and soothe Poni's soul from the darkness she had seen and had to do. Alex didn't have that luxury, and lost herself in her work, drink and women. That is until you came to her.”
It was true. When she walked into Alex's life, she was at rock bottom it appeared to Beth, but their love seemed to give her new strength.
“When she got the letter from her old friend, Leon yesterday, I found her looking at the medal, and she had the same haunted look on her face as she did when we met Rowe in New York. Are you sure you don't know anything about them?”
“All I know Beth is that Rowe was a close friend of them both, and Tommy, too, but after our wedding everything changed. They left on a mission to rescue Leon from capture, and when they came back, Rowe was gone from their squad. I never saw her again, or thought about her until you asked about her. Poni wouldn't discuss it, and I didn't want to push it because Poni was having some disturbing dreams about the mission.”
Beth didn't like not knowing what was causing Alex pain, and didn't like there was a whole part of Alex's life that she knew nothing about. “And now Leon is coming to stay with us and bringing our partners a whole lot of memories with her.”
As they walked down into the village square, Lotty said, “You never know, it might be good for them all to talk together and lay a few ghosts to rest.”
Beth thought of that haunted look in Alex's eyes, and prayed that was true. “Maybe.”
***
A week went by before Leon arrived at Dencotte. Alex had been tense about her arrival but when Leon got out of her car and she saw how gaunt and troubled she looked, Alex knew she owed this comrade help to get better, no matter how many bad memories it brought up.
Poni had come over to Dencotte to welcome Leon with Alex and Beth, and the servants lined up behind them to add to the welcome. Leon walked up to them and Alex offered her hand in friendship, “Leon, it's a pleasure to see you again.”
Leon took her hand and attempted a smile like someone who wasn't used to doing it. “Alex, thank you for having me.”
The last time she had seen Leon had been in a London hospital. Her injuries were so bad that the majority of her body was bandaged in some way, and half of her face was covered. Now after all these years she could see the legacy of the torture she endured in the long angry scar down one side of her face, and the many missing fingernails she had. Underneath her clothes there were probably many other scars she kept hidden, so different to the bright, young, blonde, idealistic freedom fighter she had first met.
Alex indicated to Beth and said, “This is my wife, Beth.”
“Nice to meet you, Lady Beth. Thank you for having me in your home,” Leon said.
Beth was a wonderful hostess and didn't show any curiosity about Leon's obvious injuries. “You are most welcome, Lady Leon. Any friend of Alex is always welcome at Dencotte.”
Poni smiled and shook Leon's hand. “Leon, old chap. I'm delighted to see you again.”
“You too, Poni. I trust your wife is well?” Leon asked.
“Yes indeed. Lotty is very well, thank you.”
Alex clapped her hands together and said, “Well why don't we go inside for tea.” She turned to Foster, who was close by and said, “Will you have Lady Leon's bags taken to her room?”
“Of course, my lord.”
They took tea with Beth in the drawing room, before Alex, Poni, and Leon went to her study to talk privately.
Alex handed both Leon and Poni a drink then sat at her desk. “I hear your father was elevated to Earldom of Marchford.” Alex said.
Leon looked down into her drink and swirled it around the glass. “Yes, my Uncle Eustace was a good man. I had great fun with him when I was growing up, and I feel bad that I couldn't get back to Britain for his funeral.”
Poni and Alex shared a look, and Poni breached the subject that was hanging in the air. “What have been up to all these years?”
“ Travelling around the world. America, South America, Africa, anywhere to try and find some purpose.”
“And did you?” Alex asked.
Leon sighed. “No, I never did.”
It was difficult and awkward but Alex needed to know the truth of why she was here, and why now.
“Why did you come back now? Did something happen?”
Leon knocked back her drink and placed it on the desk. “I came to a turning point in my life and I needed to work out if I could heal myself and be a part of my family once again. I haven't been able to go home yet, but I thought if I could reconnect with you and Poni, it might help me.”
“Well take all the time you need to walk, think and enjoy the peace at Dencotte. I think I can speak for Poni when I say we will help you in any way we can. We owe you our lives.”
Leon looked up and said, “and I owe you mine.”
To Alex, it seemed like she wasn't convinced that she wanted to keep that life.
***
That night Beth wakened to the sound of shouting. Alex struggled in her sleep, and fought with a dream assailant, just as she had done on their honeymoon. "Alex? Alex?" She whispered, as she stroked her brow.
Alex awakened gasping. "Oh God! Oh God!"
"It was just a dream, my lord. You are safe now," Beth said.
Alex swung her legs out of the bed and reached for her cigarettes with desperation. Beth placed a comforting hand on her back and felt Alex not only tense with fear, but anger. She could feel when Alex was angry even before Alex realised it. She got up onto her knees and hugged her from behind, but Alex pulled away from her and stood. "Tell me what you were dreaming, my lord?"
Alex never replied, even when Beth repeated the question. It was frustrating. She wanted so much to help, but nothing was getting through to her partner.
Beth sighed loudly. "Is it about the war? Because Leon is here? Please tell me what happened? What bad memories you have. I know it was a frightening time for everyone-"
Suddenly Alex turned on her with a face full of thunderous anger. "A frightening time? You know nothing about it. You were a child when I was defending this country by any means possible. Killing, watching my comrades die around me, the screams of their pain as they were tortured. That is not a frightening time. I have warned you before not to ask me about the war but you refuse to listen. I do not want to have this conversation with you again! Do you understand me, Beth?
Beth felt like she had been slapped in the face. Alex had never lost her temper like this since she first met her. Tears welled in her eyes and started tumbling down her cheeks. She nodded and Alex grabbed her dressing gown.
"I'll sleep in my dressing room tonight."
"Alex, don't? I'm sor..." But Beth's words were too late.
Alex stormed into the dressing room and slammed the door.
***
The next morning, Leon wandered downstairs for breakfast. She had made a decision as she dressed this morning that she would leave. She had woken up during the night from her own nightmares, to hear similar shouts and expressions of fear from Lord Dalton's master bedroom, and then an argument between her and her wife. Her own presence was obviously a catalyst for this in an otherwise happy couple.
She walked into the dining room and found only Alex sitting at the breakfast table, while the servants filled the breakfast sideboard.
"Good morning, Alex."
"Good morning, did you sleep well?"
Leon began to pile some breakfast on her plate. "Of course...well...as I ever do."
She sat down next to Alex who she noticed had suddenly lost her appetite.
Alex gave up on her food and placed her cutlery down. "Memories can take a serious toll on your sleep."
"Indeed." She remained silent for a few seconds before saying, "Alex, I'm not sure this is such a good idea. I think it's too soon for me to face...I mean I don't want to dredge up such unhappy memories when you are newly married, and Lady Beth has just given birth. I'll leave after breakfast."
"No." Alex reached out and put her hand on her shoulder. "Please stay. You don't have to tell me what's been happening in your life, but I can tell you are at a crossroads, Leon."
Leon forgot her food and took out a cigarette. As she lit a match, she was faced with the evidence of her past, the missing fingernails on her hand. "Yes, The years since...well, nothing ever gets better. Sometimes I wish you had never found me."
"Don't ever say that," Alex snapped. "We lost good men, on that mission. Men that never came home."
"You're right. I'm sorry. That's why I shouldn't be here. I'll go."
"No, it's been too long since the war. I think we all need to heal. Even if you don't feel better, or want to talk. Take some time to yourself, walk the grounds, ride, anything that will give a you a break, old chap."
"You're right."
Alex looked at her watch and sighed. Beth should have been down by now. "Foster, is Laura finished helping Lady Beth?"
"I don't believe so, m'lord. Lady Beth requested breakfast in her room this morning."
Alex's heart sank. The cold light of day made her guilt weigh heavy on her. She had behaved badly and taken it out on the one person who could soothe her soul. She had to make this right.
"Would you excuse me, Leon?" She asked.
"Of course, Alex."
***
Alex walked up to the bedroom door and hesitated, not knowing the kind of reception she would get. She knocked and walked in to find Beth sitting in the arm chair, feeding baby May, with Freddie in a Moses basket beside them. Laura moved around the room tidying up after dressing Beth.
Watching the beautiful sight of Beth feeding one of their children made Alex feel all the more guilty at the way she had talked to her the previous evening.
When Laura saw her she gave a quick curtsey. "Good morning, m'lord."
"Good morning, Laura."
Beth never looked around at her once. Laura looked between them, clearly feeling tension in the room. She placed the hairbrush down and addressed Beth.
"Will that be all, m'lady?"
"Yes, thank you, Laura. I'll call for Nanny Winnie."
Once she left, Alex stood in silence while Beth stroked the baby's head in a soothing gesture. Alex had no idea how to make things right between them, how to begin to make amends.
"Little Bit? Beth, can I talk to you?"
Beth kept her eyes fixed on May. "You appear to be doing that already, Alex."
The angry tone in Beth's voice was evident, and again she questioned how she could react so badly to her wife. Trusting her instincts, she walked over to the chair and got down on one knee.
"Beth, I am so sorry for my behaviour last night. I was wrong and I regret it deeply," Alex said with sincerity.
Beth sighed loudly but still did not look at her. "We've never slept apart from me before. That hurt me a great deal, Alex."
"I know, and I regretted it the moment I closed the door on my dressing room, but I wasn't brave enough to come back, and I should have."
Beth glanced up. "I only wanted to make you feel better, my lord. I know I can ever understand what you went through, but I can comfort you."
Alex felt some hope when her wife addressed her by her title. "The dreams and emotions make me feel..."
Saying the words out loud was so difficult, but if she wanted to make things right, she had to. She took Beth's hand and held it tenderly. "They make me feel helpless, weak and angry."
"Do you think you'll ever be able to talk to me about it?"
Alex looked at the floor as she knew her answer wouldn't help her cause. "I honestly don't know. A lot of people think the war ended in 1945, but for many of those who served, it is still going on, and may never be over."
"People like Leon?" Beth asked.
"Yes," Alex said solemnly.
"She looks like a tortured soul."
Alex leaned over and kissed baby May on the head. The children brought calm to her soul, as much as Beth did. "She is, and when I received her letter I thought maybe I could help her, and in doing so lay some of my own ghosts to rest. She is one of the bravest people I have ever met, and she deserves the war inside herself to come to an end."
Beth caressed Alex's cheek. "The scar on her face and her fingernails..."
"She was captured by the Nazis." Alex left the sentence hanging, knowing that no more explanation would be necessary.
Alex kissed her hand. "Forgive me, Little Bit?"
Beth took Alex's hand and brought it to her lips. "I will always forgive you, my lord. I hope one day you will be able to talk to me about your time during the war."
Alex couldn't say she would, and so instead covered her concealment with the words that came from her heart. "I love you.”
Baby Freddie chose that moment to start crying. “I swear she can tell when you're in the room, my lord. Why don't you comfort her while May finishes her feed?”
“It would be my pleasure.” Alex stood and lifted Freddie from the Moses basket, and began rocking her in her arms. “Sh, sh, sh, now Freddie. Mama will feed you soon.”
***
Leon took a walk after breakfast, and found the grounds of Dencotte beautiful and calming. Perhaps Alex had been right, perhaps she should give her time here a chance. Deep inside, she knew if she ran back to the continent, she wouldn't live out the year.
She walked back into the house and saw Beth walk across the entrance hallway. Leon thought Beth looked quite fatigued and pale. "Is everything all right, Lady Beth? Can I help?"
"I'm fine. Just worn out after a night of feeding two babies. Could I trouble you for your arm as far as my bedroom?"
"Of course. It would be my pleasure." She held out her arm and Beth clung to her tightly.
As they began to walk, Beth asked, “Were you taking a walk, Leon?”
“Yes, the grounds are beautiful here. It's peaceful.”
As they approached the master bedroom, Beth stopped and took her hand tenderly. “Leon, I hope you can find the peace you need her at Dencotte. Alex found peace and I'm sure you can too. Take all the time you need here. Our home is your home.”
Leon had to bite back the emotion that was threatening to spill out of her. She hadn't been shown such kind compassion in such a long time.
“Thank you, Beth. I appreciate it.”
***
Alex bounded upstairs to their bedroom as soon as she had heard Beth had gone to lie down. She walked in the bedroom to find Beth lying on the bed fully clothed and looking sleepy.
"Are you sleeping, sweetheart?"
Beth yawned and turned onto her back. "Mmm...no. Just dosing."
Alex joined her on the bed and brushed the hair away from Beth's face. "Is everything all right?"
"Yes, everything is fine. Nanny Winnie is watching Freddie and May while they sleep in the nursery. I'm just tired." Beth reached up and caressed her cheek. "You worry too much."
As Alex looked down at Beth she saw everything that she probably didn't deserve. A beautiful wife, who had the purest heart she'd ever known, and had given her two beautiful children, the heirs who would carry on her name and family legacy. She had so much to lose, and the reminders of dark times during the war made her uneasy. If Rowe could see her now, so hopelessly in love and with two children, she would revel in trying to destroy everything she'd built. She could only pray that she had stayed in America as Poni believed.
"I need to worry, Little Bit. I have so much to protect and so much to lose."
"You won't lose me, my lord, and our children have the best of everything, and couldn't be more loved. You take such good care of us, the staff take such good care of us. Please don't worry."
Alex sighed. "I try, but it's just the way I am. What we have...is something I could never have imagined. A wife like you, someone to love me...and understand me...I...just never would have believed I could have it or deserve it."
"Of course you deserve it, Alex. You needed love to heal your heart."
It was true. Her heart had been broken ever since her parents had died, and her beautiful Beth had put it back together again. "Someone once told me that love was not something that could be controlled or commanded away, but I didn't believe it until I looked in your eyes."
Beth threaded her hand around the back of Alex's neck. “I love you so much, and our children adore you too."
"I hope so. When I watched Poni with Kitten, I had a deep sense of sadness that I would never feel what she did, that overwhelming desire to love and protect this little child, totally dependent on you."
Beth smiled at her warmly. "When I first saw you with Kitten, I knew you would be the most loving parent, because you love her so much."
"I do. I know Poni is delighted she will have friends to grow up with. Friends who, like Poni was for me, will understand the great responsibility that comes with the great wealth she will have someday. I always intended to leave Dencotte and the bulk of my wealth to Kitten with Poni and Lotty as trustees, and that, along with the Woodwards personal wealth, would have made Kitten one of the richest women in the world."
"I suppose it would have. Little Kitten with so much responsibility," Beth said.
"I have every faith in her, but a young woman with such a large fortune is prey for all sorts of fortune hunters. Money makes people behave in strange ways. Now she will have allies, our children."
"Our children," Beth repeated with a smile.
Alex leaned in and kissed Beth tenderly on the lips. Their kisses turned lazy and languid, Alex enjoying the feeling for its own sake, something else that was new to her and brought only by Beth. Kissing had always been a means to an ends for her. A controlling method she used to show her bed partner who was in command of their encounter, and was always used a prelude to sex. With Beth she could enjoy the art of kissing, without it always escalating to love making.
She pulled back and was delighted to find a sleepy, dreamy expression on her wife's face. "I could kiss you forever, my lord."
"I would be delighted to oblige you, Lady Beth, but I think I should give your lips a rest for now.”
Beth looked at her with utter adoration. "You are so handsome, and I live each day to look after you and I can't wait to spoil you on your birthday.”
“I don't need spoiling.”
Beth leaned up and kissed her nose. “Oh you do, and I can't wait to celebrate it with all our friends on Saturday.”
***
The next morning, Beth was in her writing room reading and answering her letters, with Bertie lying in front on the fire.
Mrs Mcluskey popped her head around the door and said, “M'lady, would this be a good time to discuss the Master's birthday?”
“Of course, please sit down. What does Mrs Read suggest?”
Mrs Mcluskey looked down at her notepad. “She would like to start with the soup, Crème clamart , then for the fish course, Sole almondine, and a main course of duck with plum sauce and Pear tarte tatin for dessert.”
“Sounds wonderful,” Beth said. She couldn't wait to give Alex a wonderful night. She eyed the letter that she had received this morning, and debated whether to act on it or not. I could be making a mistake…but no, this could be the perfect time.
“Mrs Mcluskey? Could we accommodate another guest?”
“Of course, my lady. There's always plenty of food when Mrs Read cooks.”
Beth smiled. “This is going to be perfect.”
***
The next day, after completing her paperwork and business with her steward, Alex walked up to the nursery. She felt a great need to hold her children, and knew that was where she would find Beth. Alex sighed with contentment as she thought about what a wonderful mother Beth was. Unlike most mothers in her position, who would only see their children briefly twice a day, Beth was a hands on mother, much to the bemusement of Nanny Winnie.
As she approached the nursery, she saw Mrs Mcluskey and Laura exiting with big smiles on their face. “M'lord.” They both curtsied and walked off.
She knocked once on the door and walked in to find Beth rocking baby Freddie in her arms, while Nanny Winnie was burping baby May. “How are my three beautiful girls?”
Beth smiled brightly at her description. “We are wonderful, darling. Nanny Winnie, could you give us half an hour?”
Nanny Winnie was a stout middle-aged woman, who despite her surprise at Beth's heavy involvement with the children, was a kind and warm-hearted woman. The perfect nanny for the Dalton's two precious bundles.
“Of course, Madam.”
Alex took her jacket off and hung it upon the back of the door, and Nanny Winnie handed her May. The baby grumbled and grizzled until she got comfortable and grasped hold of Alex's finger.
She looked down into the baby's aquamarine eyes and her heart ached with such love.
“How's my beautiful May bell today?”
“She has been as good as gold as usual. It's her big sister here that is troublemaker.”
Alex kissed May on the head. “My Freddie? A troublemaker? Never!”
Beth laughed. “Yes, a troublemaker just like her Papi.”
“Perhaps . ” Alex admitted.
Beth watched as Alex rocked May gently and began to sing a nursery rhyme to her. “You know my heart feels like it will burst when I see you holding the children, Alex?”
“That's exactly what I feel inside when I hold them.”
“Here, you take Freddie for a bit. You know she loves all your attention.”
Alex carefully placed May onto Beth's other arm and picked up Freddie. She walked to the window of the nursery and looked out over the estate. The gardeners were doing their work and the gamekeepers and stable staff, came and went across the grounds.
“You see all this land, Freddie, and this house? This will all be yours one day. You are my heir, and will be responsible for all these hundreds of people's livelihoods. I know in my heart that you will be a strong and wonderful master, and take care of little May your sister and your mama once I'm gone.”
“We don't want you gone for a long, long time, my lord.”
Alex looked back at her wife and smiled. “I'll try. What did Mrs Mcluskey and Laura look so happy about earlier?”
Beth's face was wreathed in smiles and excitement. “Laura is getting married to Thomas. He proposed last night.”
“That's wonderful.”
“You don't seem awfully surprised?”
Alex transferred Freddie to her chest and patted her back soothingly. “I was expecting it. Thomas asked my permission a month or so ago, since her father is no longer with us. I told him we would be delighted to see them married, and I promised him a cottage on the estate. I'm having it refurbished and decorated as we speak.”
“Really? You are just the best lord I know. Kiss me?”
Alex bent over and kissed her on the lips. Beth whispered, “I love you.”
“I'm so glad.”
“And I'm going to help with the wedding.”
Alex chuckled, “I don't doubt it.”
***
It was only a few days away from Lord Dalton's birthday dinner, and the house was being prepared for their guests arriving to stay. Both Alex and Beth were so looking forward to seeing their friends again.
Alex arrived back from a meeting with her farm manager and found Beth and Mrs Mcluskey directing the staff as they prepared the house. She approached Beth and gave her a quick kiss. “Everything going well, sweetheart?”
Beth looked up from her notepad and smiled. “Yes, Freddie and May are sleeping soundly and I and the staff are extremely busy, so why don't you go and keep out of trouble somewhere.”
It thrilled Alex to see Beth so at ease with her and the running of the house. “Of course, Lady Beth.” She brushed her knuckles down Beth's jawline and said with merriment in her voice. “I shan't waste any more of your valuable time.”
The ripple of pleasure she saw in her wife at her slight touch was enough to keep her happy for the time being, and she walked off in the direction of her study. She had only taken a seat and lit a cigarette when Foster came in with a letter on a silver tray.
“This came for you in the second post, my lord.”
“Thank you, Foster. Oh, if you see Lady Leon, could you ask her to come and see me when it is convenient? Poni and I would like to take her out riding.”
“Of course, my lord.”
When he left she slit open the letter with a paper knife. She found a postcard instead of a letter. She slipped it out and drew in a breath when she saw the picture on the front, it was a picture of a cuckoo.
She flipped it over and found it blank. No address, no names, no acknowledgement of who it was, but she had a very strong feeling. Operation Cuckoo.
***
After dinner that night Leon joined Alex in her study for a drink and a cigar, since Beth was busy with plans and preparations.
“Thank you for taking me out riding today, Alex. It's a long time since I last rode, both you and Poni are excellent riders.”
Alex tapped the ash from her cigar into the ashtray in front of her. “Poni is a lot better than I. She missed her vocation in life, she should have been involved in horse training. Before the war, she talked about opening her own stables, but after the war…she was changed. She had a wife and before long a family to take care of.”
Leon could hear the strained tone in Alex's voice when she mentioned the war. “Do you think about the war a lot, Alex?
“Until I met Beth, I thought about it every day, every life it touched and destroyed, but Beth changed that. Now only certain things provoke those thoughts, like today.”
“May I ask what provoked them this time?”
Alex took a postcard out of her suit jacket and passed it to Leon. “This.”
Leon looked at the card and read out the message, “Operation Cuckoo…is that…”
“The mission in which we exposed Francine.”
Alex's voice grew faint and the study melted away…
Leon was back in the dark cell that was still her place of torture. She hung naked from chains attached to the ceiling, and was barely conscious. She had been beaten with a bat, like a piece of meat, every time she refused to give information on the Resistance cells and their leaders.
Her ribs were broken, blood and spit ran down her face and onto the saw dust on the ground. The pain in her body was beyond anything she could have ever imagined, and she prayed that the next blow she received would end her pain and her life.
The cell door opened and her tormentor, Commandant Koppe strode in with guards by his side. Behind him a woman walked in, it was Francine from Alex Dalton's team. Leon assumed she had been captured.
Commandant Koppe lifted Leon's head up by her hair, and asked, “Is this the resistance fighter?”
As much as Leon was struggling to keep conscious and follow what was happening, she was struck at the coldness in Francine's eyes. She didn't seem in the slightest upset or surprised at the state Leon was in.
“Yes, that's her.”
“Leon, Leon.” She gasped as Alex shook her, and was pulled back to the present.
She grabbed for her glass and downed the whiskey left in it.
“Calm down, old boy. What happened?”
Leon's hands shook as she fumbled with her cigarettes. The smoke calmed her and she was at last able to speak. “Francine, I remembered when they brought her into my cell. I had no idea what she was then. I thought maybe she was a prisoner too, but I do remember the coldness in her eyes. I was hung up like a piece of meat, and it didn't seem to affect her.”
“The perfect double agent,” Alex said. “She had no empathy whatsoever. When I took you home, I promised you I'd get her, and I did. She can't hurt us anymore.”
Leon looked up at her, and said, “Are you sure?” She picked up the postcard. “This shows Francine's memory is still alive within someone. She tore my life and your squad apart, and the reverberations of those actions are still having an effect.”
Alex jumped slightly when Beth knocked at the door and came in. She was wearing her dressing gown and looked tired.
“Excuse me, Alex, Beth. I'll leave you two alone. Thank you for the drink, Alex.”
“No problem.”
“Goodnight, Leon,” Beth said. Alex turned her back on Beth and went to refill her glass. Her talk with Leon made her realise that Francine's legacy, and the war would never really be over until she dealt with it head on. She had to protect her family.
“Are you coming to bed, Alex?” Beth asked.
“No, not yet. You go on and get some sleep.” She placed her glass on the desk and sat down.
“Were you and Leon talking about the war?” Beth asked.
“Something like that.”
Beth sighed, clearly showing her frustration at her partner's evasiveness. “You've been drinking an awful lot more recently, Alex.”
Alex frustrations shot up and out of control in a second, “Keeping track of my drinking are you?”
“There's no need for that attitude, Alex. I'm just concerned. You haven't drunk as much as this since I met you.”
Alex closed her eyes and tried to cool her frustration. She had already lost her temper over her memories before now, and she regretted it deeply.
“I'm sorry. It's just a difficult time, but I'll try to cut down.”
Beth still looked worried, so she walked over and took her into her arms.
“Try not to worry, sweetheart. I'll be fine. Go on up to bed.”
“Will you come with me?” Beth slipped her hand underneath the collar of Alex's shirt.
Alex knew she couldn't sleep with the thought that Rowe was out there somewhere, full of hatred.
“No, you go on up, and I'll join you later.”
Beth kissed her and whispered, “Don't be too long.”
When Beth got to the door, Alex said, “I'm going to London tomorrow. I have some business to attend to at my bank and I must drop in on the foundation office.”
“Just make sure you come home. Saturday is going to be a special day for you, my love.”
***
Alex got the train to London first thing, and spent the morning with her office manager at the Dalton foundation. Although there was now an office manager and three administrative clerks at the office, she liked to spend some time there every few weeks to keep a firm hold on the reins of the charity, and of course Poni and herself both attended the monthly board members meetings, but her time had been limited since the children had been born.
She looked at her watch. Twelve o'clock. Now she could get on with the main reason she had come down to London, Rowe Mathews. Alex went around all Rowe's old haunts, other gay bars, and the flat where she lived before the war, and her parents' home.
Rowe's parents had moved long ago and no one had seen her elsewhere. The only place she had left to try was the Alley Cat. She left that to last because it was the most obvious.
Alex walked up to the bar and smiled when she saw Billy standing behind the bar with a clipboard counting stock. She had come such a long way from the young tearaway who she had first met so many years ago.
“Look at you. Billy the respectable business woman eh?”
Billy turned around quickly and smiled brightly when she saw who it was. “Alex, this is a surprise.”
“I had some business with the foundation this morning, and thought I'd pop in.”
“How are Beth and the little ones?” Billy asked as she poured Alex a drink.
“They are all very well indeed. How is Jo and the new flat? I thought I'd never see the day Billy boy would live with a woman.”
Billy placed the glass of Alex's favourite malt whi skey in front of her. “I could say the same about you, my lord. Jo Jo is great and I love living together. To go home to her and wake up with her is the best thing that's ever happened to me. She's the best thing that's ever happened to me. Oh and thank you for the house warming gift by the way.”
“You're welcome. We're all glad to see you and Jo happy, Billy.”
Alex took a sip of her drink and looked around the bar. It was early afternoon and there weren't that many patrons there.
Where are you, Rowe? I can feel you're back.
“Is there something wrong, Alex? You look worried.” Billy asked.
“Nothing wrong. I was looking for someone though.” She took a photograph out of her pocket and showed it Billy.
“Have you seen this person here in the Alley Cat?”
Billy looked at the photo carefully. “Is this you and Poni when you were in the RAF?”
“Yes. That was my team.”
Billy laughed. “You both look so young.”
“That was taken at the beginning. Believe me, we didn't look like that at the end of the war.”
Billy's smile faltered as she picked up the sadness in her reply. “So…is it this person here you're asking about?”
“Yes, Rowe Mathews. She was a regular at the Alley Cat when Poni and I were. She lives in America now but I have reason to believe she may be back in the country.”
“She looks familiar, but I can't say if she's been in recently or not. I could have seen her here in the past or at some of the American clubs, when I was over there.”
“But she could have been in here?”
“She could have but it's such a busy place at night that it's hard to remember one particular face.”
Alex knocked back her whiskey and slammed the glass on the bar. I know you're here, Rowe.
“Is everything all right, Alex?”
“Can I use your telephone?”
“Sure. You can use the one in my office.” Billy led her to her office and shut the door to give her privacy.
She dialled Poni's nu mber and waited for one of the servants to bring her to the phone. “Hello? Is that you, Alex?”
“Yes, listen Poni, I'm in London. I had to visit the foundation and then I went around some of Rowe's old haunts.”
“What? Why?”
“I received a postcard the other day. It had no message or return address, but it had a picture of a cuckoo. You know what that means.”
She heard Poni sigh at the other end of the line. “I know what you think it means. Operation Cuckoo.”
“Who else would send me something like that?”
“So has anyone seen her?”
Alex sat down at the desk and switched the phone receiver to her other ear. “Billy says she looks familiar but can't swear if she's seen her in the past or recently. Will you go over to Dencotte and watch over Beth and the children until I get home? Give Beth some excuse as to why you're there.”
“You know I will, old man, but there really is no evidence that she's back.”
“I can feel it, Poni. She's out there somewhere, and I'm not taking any chances. I have a family to protect.”
“Alex, I hope you'll forgive me for saying this but…”
“But what?”
“I think you're too fixated with Rowe coming back. Even if she was, do you really think she would harm Beth who is an innocent in all this?”
Alex felt so angry and frustrated. Why did her friend not see how dangerous she was?
“Poni, I betrayed her friendship in the worst possible way, and got the love of her life killed. She vowed to destroy me. Of course I'm fixated.”
“You didn't get Francine killed. She did that herself.”
“That's not how she sees it. To Rowe, I killed her as if I had shot her in the head myself. When I met her in New York , and she realised I'd fallen in love for th e first time in my life, I have never seen someone look as satisfied and coldly calculated.”
“I'm quite sure you're worrying about nothing, but I'll go over to Dencotte right now.”
“Thank you. I appreciate it.”
Alex ended the telephone call, said goodbye to Billy, and hurried out onto the street. She looked at her watch.
Quarter past two. If I hurry I can get the Two thirty train to Dencotte.
Just as she went to flag down a taxi, someone who was walking away from the Alley Cat caught her eye. From behind it looked exactly like Rowe.
She ran up behind them and grabbed their arm to turn them around. “Rowe…”
The words died in her throat when she realised the person she had grabbed was a man. “What on earth are you doing?” He said angrily.
“I'm terribly sorry. I thought you were someone else.”
Maybe Poni is right. Rowe has really got inside my head. I need to calm down.
***
Poni and Leon sat at the card table in the front drawing room. Beth fussed around them making sure they had enough drinks and snacks.
“Are you sure you're both all right, Poni? I don't feel like a very good hostess leaving you both on your own.”
“Of course. We'll be tip top, Beth. There's no need for any fuss. I just fancied a game of cards with Leon. Lotty was busy and I was at a bit of a loose end. Carry on with your preparations for tomorrow.”
Leon shuffled the cards and raised an eyebrow, clearly questioning her true motives.
“Only if you're sure. There's still a lot to organise, and I want Alex's birthday to be a special day for her. She always gives me so much.”
“I'm sure she'll love it,” Poni said.
“I'll leave you to it then. Ring for Foster if you need anything.”
When Beth left the room Leon asked, “So? What's the real reason for this impromptu afternoon card game?”
Poni picked up the cards Leon had dealt her and began to order them. “Alex.”
“How so?”
Poni shook her head and sighed. “She got a postcard of a cuckoo and has leapt to the conclusion that it means Operation Cuckoo, and is a warning from Rowe Mathews.”
“Yes, she showed me that last night. She appeared worried about its implications.”
They were playing cards for matchsticks and Poni threw a fe w into the centre of the table to bet. “She's convinced that Rowe is back in the country and has gone around all her old London haunts today. Billy thought she may have looked familiar so hence I'm dispatched to watch over Beth and the children until she gets home.”
“Beth knows nothing about the whole operation I assume.” Leon said.
“No she doesn't, but Alex is so fixated by Rowe that she can't see how unlikely it is that she would harm Beth. I mean, there's been a lot of water under the bridge since then.”
Leon closed her eyes for a second then discarded a few cards in the pile. “Some people can't let go, Poni, and relive the war every day of their lives.”
Poni realised she had touched on a sensitive subject. Leon of course lived it every day. She didn't have someone she loved like herself or Alex to make her live in the present and not the past.
“I know, old chap. I'm sorry, but I don't think you would actively search out someone that had wronged you during the war and cause harm to their family.”
She caught the look on Leon's face when she said that, and thought, maybe I was wrong. Maybe Leon would. Would I do that someone had helped in Lotty's death?
Poni folded and threw her cards to the middle of the table. “Perhaps it does pay to be vigilant. Well, we're here so Beth will be safe. Your time to deal.”
***
“Jesus Christ! Alex gasped.
She had been having a highly sexual dream and as she drifted from sleep to wakefulness she found herself on verge of an orgasm.
Her dream was triggered by the attentions of her wife while she slept. As the waves of pleasure started to subside, she looked down and found Beth crawling out from under the bed covers with a satisfied grin on her face. “Happy birthday, my lord.”
Alex pulled Beth down into a deep possessive kiss, and then flipped her over so Beth was underneath her. “You are a bad girl, Lady Beth. A sneaky bad girl at that.”
Beth stroked Alex's hair tenderly. “I wouldn't call it sneaky. I'd call it a surprise. It's the only way you will ever give up even a little bit of control, and let me take the lead. Consider it your first surprise of the day. There's going to be a few.”
Alex looked into her wife's beautiful eyes and sighed with contentment. “I'm so lucky. I love you, you know that?”
“Of course I do. Are you feeling better today? You were a bit uptight yesterday.”
Uptight was an understatement. The thought of Rowe bursting in on her perfect life was frightening, but as she came home on the train yesterday, she decided to relax and enjoy her family life without constantly looking over her shoulder. After all, like Poni said, it was unlikely that Rowe would do anything.
Today she vowed to herself there would be no worry and stress-induced drinking, no, she would enjoy the birthday celebrations her wife had so meticulously planned for her.
“I'm much better today. You don't have to worry. I'm going to enjoy my day, whatever you have planned.”
Beth smiled and gave her a quick kiss. “Well, first of all, we're are going to eat breakfast in bed together, then once Thomas has dressed you, I thought you could sit with me while I feed the children, after that Poni is coming to pick you and Leon up to take you for an afternoon at the races while I supervise tonight's preparations. When Poni brings you home, you'll get ready to have dinner with our friends, and lastly…”
Alex loved the sound of her birthday plans, and from the mischievous countenance on her wife's face, she would enjoy the end to the day a great deal.
“Lastly?” Alex asked.
Beth lowered her lips to mere inches from hers and whispered, “Lastly, when we come to the privacy of our bedroom, I will be waiting, naked, on my knees by the bed ready to be your willing slave.”
Alex growled, her sex throbbed ready and needy after the sexy picture Beth had painted. She wished she had her cock on so that she could slip into her wife right now.
“You drive me insane, Lady Beth.”
Beth giggled as she felt Alex's hips begin to move, seeking relief from the pressure building in her. “I hope I always will, my Lord. Now shall I ring for breakfast?”
Alex reached between them and opened herself up, before beginning to thrust gently. “Soon, but first I need you again.”
***
Their guests arrived in the afternoon and had plenty of time to get settled before dinner. The house was a hive of activity, with the staff in the kitchen preparing food and the maids and footmen making sure all public rooms were sitting perfect.
When Alex returned from the races Foster gave her a telegram that had arrived for her, and she went to her study to read it. She lit a cigarette and thought about what a perfect day it had been. Poni had even gotten Leon to enter into the spirit of the day and place a few bets on the horses. Leon hadn't made as much progress as she would have liked, and Alex promised herself that after today she would do everything in her power to get Leon back to a place where she could be content with life.
Alex whistled a tune while she opened the telegram with a paperknife. Her heart stopped when she read the two lines of type on the page.
‘Operation Cuckoo'
Time to pay the piper, Lord Dalton.
***
Laura put the final touch to Beth's hair, and asked, “Is everything to your liking m'lady?”
“Wonderful. Thank you, Laura.”
She curtsied and left the room just as Alex came in from her dressing room. As usual she was dressed impeccably in her dinner suit.
Beth got up, walked to her and gave her bow tie a tweak. “You look handsome.”
Alex looked distracted ever since she entered the room. Normally she was full of smiles and compliments, but not tonight. “Alex? Is everything all right?”
Alex looked her as if she was openly appraising her. She pulled Beth into her arms, and kissed her aggressively. This wasn't like Alex at all, and she tasted like she had been drinking alcohol all afternoon.
Beth struggled against her attentions and said, “Alex…what…what are you doing? I've just finished my make up.”
“I want you.” Alex said simply and pushed Beth's hand down onto her crotch. She had her strap-on attached and ready.
Beth pushed Alex back enough to say, “Alex we have a roomful of guests waiting downstairs to celebrate your birthday. We can't.”
“I don't care.” She started pushing Beth back towards the bed. This wasn't like Alex at all.
“Alex, no. We have to wait till later. What's wrong? I can taste you've been drinking a lot today.”
Alex pulled down her jacket and walked back to her dressing room, presumably to take her strap-on off. “I'll see you downstairs.”
Alex was angry and Beth had no idea why.
***
The champagne was flowing in the drawing room, and everyone was enjoying themselves, expect that Beth noticed Alex looked pensive. Maybe her last surprise would fix that.
She was standing in a group with Lotty, Jo, and Jamie, Tommy's partner. “You look divine, Beth,” Jamie said. “No one would ever know you'd had twins.”
“I know, she has a figure to die for,” Jo said.
“I hardly think so. Jo your wonderfully cut dresses hide a multitude of sins,” Beth joked.
A footman topped up their glasses with champagne. Lotty shook her head and said, “We all know that's not true. You must learn to take a compliment Beth.”
Jamie and Jo began to talk amongst themselves about fashion and Lotty took the opportunity to whisper to Beth, “Is Alex all right this evening? She looks a little preoccupied.”
Beth looked to Alex who was standing by the fire with Poni, while Leon and Billy chatted on the couch beside them. Alex looked a million miles away.
“I'm not sure. She was really tense and quiet yesterday, but this morning was as happy as Larry. Since she came back from the racing she's been withdrawn again. I don't know what's wrong. I hope she'll like my surprise.”
“I wish you would tell me what it was,” Lotty said.
Just then Foster came in and gave her a nod. “You'll find out right now.”
***
“You look tense, old chap,” Poni said.
Alex downed her champagne and took another glass from William the footman. “I had another message. She's back, for sure this time.”
Just as Poni was about to ask her to elaborate, Beth walked into the middle of the room and asked for everyone's attention.
“Excuse me everyone. We are here today to celebrate the birthday of my beloved, Alex.”
There was a collective sigh from the room. “It's hard to get Alex a gift as you can imagine, and then the perfect one fell into my lap. What better present than to reunite old comrades. Foster, if you would…”
Alex's heart thudded in her chest. In one way she knew what was coming but was too terrified to even think it.
The drawing doors opened and in walked a cocky-looking Rowe Mathews smiling like a Cheshire cat. Poni immediately put her glass down, and Leon jumped up by their side.
The room was deathly silent. The others seemed to pick up on the tension, and Beth appeared confused at the reaction.
Rowe walked confidently into the middle of the room, hands in pocket and with a smug look upon her face.
“Well, well, well. The whole team is back together. Tommy, Poni, Unit Commander Dalton and even Leon. My, my.”
Alex was in shock, so much so, she couldn't move. Rowe Mathews was in her house, a few feet away from Beth and she couldn't move her legs.
“What a fine bunch of fellows we were, eh Alex? Have you told Beth all about our jolly japes during the war? What a band of brothers we were?”
Poni walked forward and said, “Now, now, let's leave the past in the past, Rowe.”
“Yeah,” Tommy said. “Now's not the time for any argy-bargy.”
“Alex what's happening? I thought you'd be happy to see her?”
Rowe kept her eyes squarely on Alex. “When I met you in New York, I just knew I had to come back home and give you a visit, especially now you have such a beautiful wife, and know what it's like to love.” Rowe walked a few paces to Beth and took her hand.
That was the impetus to make Alex move, she was over to Rowe in seconds and pulled her away from Beth.
“Get out of my house, Rowe. There's no place for you here.”
Rowe laughed. “So you get to have a happy ever after with your beautiful girl, Poni with her beautiful wife, while my beautiful girl lies dead, dead by your hand?”
Beth gasped. “Alex what is she talking about?”
“Nothing. Foster? Escort Rowe out of my house.”
“She stole my girl, Lady Beth, and not for the reasons of love or lust, that would be bad enough, but she seduced her and persuaded her to agree to treachery. Once they had made plans to defect, Alex left her high and dry and she was shot as a traitor and German spy. As much as I loved her, I loved Alex too, we all did. We were family. I would have died for her and all the time she was a devil in disguise.”
Alex never felt fury like she did in this moment. She grabbed Rowe and pushed her towards the door. Rowe pushed back and they started to struggle. “You couldn't see me happy could you, Alex? Couldn't see me settle down like Poni and Lotty, no your ego had to have her!”
Poni and Tommy were over quickly and pulled them apart. “I've been talking to your sweet wife in secret, Alex, how does that feel? How would it feel if I fucked her like you did Francine?”
Alex managed to get free of Poni and punched Rowe in the face, bursting her nose open.
“You see what a violent thug she is, Beth? You haven't known her as long as me. She killed my girlfriend!”
Poni, Tommy and Billy got a hold of Rowe, and jostled towards the door. “Beth, if you want to know the truth of what she really is, you can reach me at Claridges hotel.”
Once Rowe was gone from the room Alex took Beth by the wrist and pulled her into the side room.
Beth pulled her hand free of Alex's hand. “Let go of me, Alex. What on earth are you doing?”
Alex's face was red with rage. Beth had only seen her this angry once before and that was when Suzy tried to set her up.
“What were you thinking Beth? You meet this person once and decide to invite her to my birthday party? Tell me everything. I want to know how she contacted you and what she said to you, now!”
Beth couldn't believe her ears. Alex was raving and certainly not talking to her like her wife. “How dare you? You embarrass me in front of all our friends and now you're giving me commands? I'm your wife, not one of your hunting dogs.”
Alex grasped her by the shoulders. “I know what Rowe is capable of, and I know best. I'm older and have seen more of the world. It is my job to protect you.”
The look in her partner's eyes was a mixture of anger and fear of the like Beth had never seen before. It scared her. “Are you going man-handle and strike me like you did poor Rowe?”
Alex let go of her shoulders like she had been burned. “Poor Rowe? You have no idea about what poor Rowe could do, during the war…”
Alex's words tapered off as she realised what she was going to reveal.
“What? Tell me? It's to do with the war isn't it? I know it's to do with Leon's girl dying.”
“I do not talk about the war.” Alex walked over to the whiskey decanter.
Beth had had enough of secrets. “No you seem to be able to talk to anyone else about the war, but not me. You expect me to do as I'm told without an explanation, like I am a child, while you lose yourself in alcohol.”
Alex took her hand and tried to take a softer tone. “Promise me that you will not see her again.”
“Why? Tell me why you're so afraid of her being here?”
Alex reached out and grasped Beth's shoulder. “You are not to see or speak to her again. Do you understand?”
“Don't touch me, Alex.” Beth stepped back quickly and crossed her arms defensively.
“I'm going before we both say something we can't take back. I won't be home tonight.” Alex said with cold fury.
When Alex slammed out the door, Beth collapsed in tears. How could something meant in kindness go so badly wrong?
***
Poni and Leon had stayed up all night awaiting Alex's return, while Lotty had spent the night trying to console Beth, but so far she hadn't returned. Poni poured out another cup of coffee and sat back in her chair.
“I should never have come here, Poni.” Leon said. “I've done nothing but bring back painful memories of the war, and now a loving couple are estranged from each other.”
“This has nothing to do with you, Leon. Rowe would have come back into the picture anyway. She simply cannot accept the evidence against Francine, because she's blinded by grief and a broken heart.”
Lotty came rushing into the room, “Poni, Poni, Beth is gone. I went to get freshened up and by the time I came back…well she's gone. According to Laura she's gone to see Rowe.”
Poni took Lotty into her arms. “We'll sort this out Piglet. I promise.”
Leon approached them. “Poni we have to find Alex and get to Rowe. This has gone on long enough. If I tell her what I know, she will believe Alex. I'm quite certain.”
“Then let's go. Lotty, have our nanny bring Kitten here. We can't leave our friends alone here without a hostess.”
Lotty hugged Poni and kissed her. “I will. Bring them home, Poni and make it right between them.”
***
Alex sat in her car outside the hotel she had spent the night at. She had been sitting in the car for an hour trying to muster the courage to drive home. Yesterday morning she had made love to Beth and then sat with her while she fed Freddie and May. This morning she was hung over sitting in a cold car with her marriage in tatters.
Why did I treat Beth like that? Why did she invite Rowe?
She looked at herself in the car mirror. “Because you never talked to her about the war. You were too frightened to face the past.”
She held her head in her hands. “Oh God, what have I done?”
A car beeped its horn beside her. She looked up and saw Poni and Leon in Leon's sports car. Poni got out and opened her car door.
“We've been looking everywhere for you. This was the third hotel we tried. You look awful by the way.”
“I feel awful. I've hurt Beth so badly. I don't know how I can fix it.”
Poni patted her on the shoulder. “Let's get Beth back first, then you can worry about how to say sorry.”
Alex looked at her sharply. “What do you mean get her back? What's going on?”
“She's gone to visit Rowe. I'll tell you about it in the car. Let's get going.”
Oh no. I've driven her into the lions den. I'm so stupid. She quickly followed Poni into the car, and Leon said to her, “Don't worry, Alex. This cycle of blame and anger has to end. It's my responsibility. I have the information that should make Rowe understand.”
***
Beth knocked at the hotel room door, and when Rowe answered she said, “I want to know the truth.”
Rowe smiled. “Come in then.”
“Sit down.” Rowe indicated the couch in the living area of the hotel suite.
Beth sat, and clutched her handbag closely. She had never gone against what Alex had said before, but she had to know what caused them both so much pain.
“Shall I call for tea?” Rowe asked.
“No I'm fine thank you.”
Rowe walked over to the bar area of the suite. Can I get you something stronger?”
“No thank you. Just tell me why you hate Alex so much?”
Rowe sat down across from her. “I hate her because I loved her so much, we all did. Poni, Tommy, and me. We were in RAF intelligence and had been put together to undertake difficult roles behind enemy lines.”
Beth watched as Rowe started to get lost in her story. In an unguarded moment she took a packet of cigarettes from her inside pocket, and Beth had to stop herself from gasping when she spied a gun held in a shoulder holster under her suit jacket.
Why did I not listen to Alex?
“We trained together, nearly died together, and that bonded us as close as family,” Rowe said.
Beth thought the best thing to do was to keep her talking, maybe if she got it all out in the open, her hatred wouldn't be as intense.
“Who was Francine?”
Rowe took out her wallet and pulled a photograph of a woman from it. “This is Francine.”
Beth looked at it and saw beauty but also a cold steeliness in her eyes. “She was beautiful, Rowe.”
Rowe took the picture back and gazed at it longingly. “She was, and the love of my life.”
“Was Francine in the RAF too?”
“She was in intelligence. Francine was a language expert, and was assigned to our team for an upcoming mission. We were in training at Special Operations Command at RAF Beaulieu, Hampshire in 1942. It was there that Poni met Lotty.”
“I can imagine you all had a lot of fun together.” Beth said.
“We did. We chased girls together and Tommy always had some young man to entertain him. Poni on the other hand was always looking for a wife, and she found her there. I couldn't compete with Alex's title, looks and charm, but we had a code, whoever saw a girl first had first dibs, the others would back off, until Alex broke that vow.”
Beth knew that Alex was a serial womaniser before sh e met her, but she could not imagine her breaking a covenant between friends. She was so loyal to her friends, and noble in her intentions. Surely there must have been some mistake?
Rowe continued, “The worst of it was, Alex never slept with other agents. She said it was too messy and complicated when you had to go on the field of battle with them, but she seemed to make an exception in Francine's case.”
“How does Leon fit into all this?” Beth asked.
“We met Leon on Francine's first mission with us. Leon's Maquis cell gave us shelter and hid us from the Nazis. Leon was young and in love with a girl called Juliet, just like Francine and I. Not long after that, Leon's people were captured and all of them, including Leon's girl were killed. That's when everything changed.”
Poor Leon. What tragedy she has endured.
“What changed?”
“Our team was split up. I found out later that Alex and Poni went on a secret mission to rescue Leon. That had never happened before. Turns out they suspected a spy among us. Command wanted a scapegoat and Alex was delighted to give it to them.”
“I can't believe Alex would give anyone the blame without just cause.”
“Well she did!” Rowe snapped. “You don't know the ruthlessness that Alex has within her.”
Beth felt uncomfortable now. Rowe's mask of reason was starting to slip. “I've heard enough. I think I'll go.”
As Beth went to stand, Rowe pulled out her revolver and placed it on the table. “Sit down Beth. Now I've got Alex's one true love, I'm not going to let her go. First I want you to know what she did to me.”
Beth sat back and chastised herself for ever coming here, but thought that as long as Rowe was talking then she wasn't hurting her. “Tell me then.”
Rowe stood up and started to pace with the gun in her hand. “We were sent to a secret location to start training for a new mission, ‘Operation Cuckoo.' I never knew it was a setup to frame Francine. I didn't see Francine much, all she would tell me was that she was weapons training with Alex, but when we were all together for morning briefings I began to notice looks and smiles passing between them. I was growing suspicious, and whenever I went to spend time with Francine, Alex was just leaving her or in very close proximity.”
Rowe was ranting now, and didn't even seem aware that she was telling her story to Beth anymore. Perhaps if she could make a run for the door…
“Then one night I decided to confront Francine. I couldn't take the feelings of jealousy anymore. I went to her room and found Alex in bed with her.” Rowe stilled, clearly seeing the picture of the scene in her mind.
“The pain nearly killed me. My friend who I loved like family had betrayed me, sleeping with the woman I loved.”
“Rowe…” Francine pulled the sheets up to cover her naked body. Alex got out of bed dressed only in her boxers.
“How could you do this Alex?”
“Stay calm, Rowe. I can explain everything, just give me a minute.” Alex lifted a radio by the bedside and said, “Dalton to Woodward? I've found the cuckoo.”
“Alex? What are you doing?” Francine asked.
Alex ignored her and walked towards Rowe. “We've had a spy in the team, Rowe. Someone who gave the Nazis the precise whereabouts of Leon's cell and got Juliet killed. I suspected it was Francine and I was right, she confessed to me tonight when she tried to get me to defect too.”
“No, Rowe sweetheart. It's all lies! She seduced me and set me up!” Francine grabbed her clothes and was trying to hastily dress. “I love you, Rowe. Don't listen to her.”
Rowe was still in shock, her mind full of confusion, until Poni and military police entered the room.
“Rowe, please help me. She set me up.” The Military police grabbed Francine and she started struggling. Rowe ran to protect her, but Poni and Alex pulled her back, and Francine was dragged away screaming, “Rowe, please! You know what they'll do to me.”
Rowe turned and punched Alex to the ground, “How could you do this to me?”
“I'm sorry Rowe. I had no choice, can't you see that? I had to gain her trust to expose her.”
Rowe resumed her attack on Alex, kicking and punching. “I hate you. You betrayed me!”
Rowe's memories were interrupted by a knock at the hotel room door, and she noticed Beth had left her seat and was trying to make a run for it.
“Sit down, Lady Beth. I have plans for you.” She pointed the gun at her head.
***
The boy at the hotel front desk was persuaded by some money to give them Rowe's hotel room number. Alex was crawling out of her skin with worry, and Leon and Poni had to hold her back from bursting into the room.
When they got to the door, Poni said, “Alex, stay calm when we go in. We won't get anywhere with a repeat of what happened at the last night,” Poni said.
Leon placed a hand on Alex's shoulder, “All of this pain is because of one woman and a lot of misunderstanding. Let me talk to her. I owe you this, Alex. I can bring this to an end.”
Alex gave a curt nod. It was so against her character to take a back seat. Her very nature was to take control and charge in, but now was the time to be humble and apologetic, if she wanted to get her wife back.
“I'll leave it to you, Leon.”
Leon knocked the door and they heard Rowe's voice bid them in. They were all shocked to find Rowe sitting in a chair pointing a gun at Beth, who was sitting on the couch. “Alex, you're here at last.”
“Alex!” Beth cried.
“I'm here, sweetheart. Rowe, I swear to God if you hurt her I will kill you.”
“You know all about killing, don't you Alex? I want you to feel what I did when they shot Francine as a traitor, all because of you.”
Leon stepped forward, “Rowe, I know you don't want to believe it, but it's true. Francine was a traitor.”
“What would you know about it?” Rowe spat.
“When Alex and Poni came to France to rescue me, where was Francine?” Leon asked.
Rowe stopped still and thought back for a minute. “She went to visit her aunt in Scotland.”
Leon took a chance and walked closer to Rowe. “She wasn't in Scotland, Rowe. She was in France.”
“What are you talking about?”
“When I was being held in the French castle, being tortured by the Nazis, I saw her.”
Rowe lowered her gun, and looked shocked. “You saw her?”
“I was chained up and being beaten, the Nazi commandant came in with a woman, and asked her if I was the Resistance leader she saw at Juliet's farm. When he pulled my head up, I saw it was Francine. She looked at me with cold eyes and confirmed it was me. This was a woman who I had helped save, along with the rest of you, and she saw me with my body broken and battered, and showed no emotion. They left the cell speaking German. She had you deceived Rowe, had everyone deceived and had gotten my Juliet killed.”
Rowe looked like her whole world had fallen around her, and tears started to spill from her eyes. “She…used me…used all of us?”
“Yes she did. Will you give me the gun?” Leon asked.
She handed it over at once and broke down completely. Beth moved to her straight away and held her. When she saw Alex start to protest, she held up her hand and gave her a serious look. This was something she had to do. Rowe was in pain. “Let it out, Rowe. You were a victim, the same as everyone else.”
Rowe held onto her like a life preserver. “I'm sorry I frightened you, Beth. I would never have hurt you, I don't have it in me. I just want to make Alex feel pain.”
“I know. It's all right.”
Rowe pulled away from her and used her handkerchief to wipe her eyes. “I'd like to be alone now.”
“I wish you the best, Rowe.” Beth got up and walked into Alex's arms.
“Rowe?” Alex said. “It kills me every day that I broke our bond of friendship. Our commanding officer told me to find the spy, and I had noticed her interest in me. I played along to get her to confess. I had no choice. It killed me to betray you, but sometimes a commanding officer has to make these decisions, no matter the cost. I hope one day you'll find it in your heart to forgive me.”
Rowe said nothing, so they started to leave. Just as Alex and Beth were nearly out the door, Rowe said, “Alex? Have a happy life.”
Alex smiled back at her. “Thank you, Rowe. I hope you find peace.”
***
Poni had taken Leon back to stay the night at her London home, to give Alex and Beth time to talk. Beth called home to Dencotte and Lotty assured her that nannie and she would take care of the children, and she was sure they would be happy with powdered milk till Beth got home in the morning.
They had quietly got ready for bed, and only when they lay in the dark did Alex start to speak. “I'm so sorry Beth. The way I spoke to you, and acted was unforgivable. I frightened you and that breaks my heart.”
“You acted out of fear. I know you could never hurt me, but if you ever speak to me like that again Alex…”
Alex leaned up on her elbow, and stroked Beth's hair. “It will never happen again. You have my word, and I promise I will never keep secrets from you. Never again. I was scared of what you'd think of me, and I suppose deep down, I've always felt guilty about what I did to Rowe.”
“You did what you had to.”
“It doesn't make it any easier, but I think Leon finally got through to her, and I can't tell you what it meant when Rowe said what she did.”
Beth traced a finger down Alex's cheek. “Poor Leon, what horrors she must have gone through. When we left Rowe's hotel room, she looked haunted. It must have been so difficult talking about her experiences.”
“Yes, I owe her so much, Beth. I have to help her get better, but I haven't done a good job so far.”
“We will. When we get back to Dencotte, we'll start afresh. Now I want you to make love to me.”
“Thank you for your forgiveness. I love you, Little Bit.” Alex kissed her with all the love in her heart.
Part Two
Run, run, run, and don't stop . Isana Sternburg repeated to herself as she ran through the woodland at the back of her house. Her legs burned with the effort and she quickly realised her bag was slowing her down. She stopped and pulled out her handbag, and her mother's necklace, before abandoning the rest of the bag full of clothes. She wasn't tall or much of a runner so she soon heard her pursuer's voice yelling after her.
“Isana! Come back now. If you do, we'll forget this ever happened.”
The male voice sounded almost reasonable, only she knew how wrong that was. Percival Upperton was not someone who was reasonable, especially to her.
Isana's breathing got shallower the closer his voice came to her. She was terrified, and never believed she would have had the courage to run, but the alternative was all the more frightening.
“I swear, Isana, no matter where you run, I will find you. I will hunt you down and make you sorrier than you can imagine.
What could she do? He would see her at this position in minutes. She pushed her dark brown hair out of her eyes and looked around frantically. A few yards away she saw the edge of a small gully, where rainwater and flooding had washed away the forest floor.
Without thinking she ran to it, and looked over the edge. It went down about fifteen feet, but the other side looked shallow enough to escape from. She went over the side, and held tightly to a protruding tree root. She made herself look as small as possible and pressed into the dirt of the slope.
Percival's voice got louder and went straight past. Isana let out a huge sigh of relief and with her arm looped through the handle of her handbag, she began the task of edging down the drop to the ground. She took a few careful steps before her foot slipped, and she rolled down the ravine, and then everything went black.
***
Leon gripped her steerin g wheel tightly as she raced around the country roads towards Dencotte. She thought if she went fast enough, she might find herself going head first into a tree, and the pain would be over.
Her nightmares had been awful last night after confronting her past, and she decided she couldn't take it anymore. She left Poni's early this morning, without telling anyone, and intended to collect her belongings at Dencotte and then head back to the continent to end her misery.
Leon looked up at the driver's rear-view mirror and looked at herself with utter contempt. The long scar down her face was a constant reminder of her weakness, her failure to protect those she loved.
“I hate you.” She spat.
Leon was so distracted, she didn't realise how close she was to the beginning of the village, and that she should be slowing doing considerably. She reached to the passenger seat to pick up her hip flask that contained the whiskey to numb her pain, and she saw a flash of a figure running out from the trees at the side of the road.
She slammed on the brakes, but the car continued to slide and knocked the pedestrian clean off their feet. The car stopped and Leon shook like a leaf. I was going too fast, please say they're all right.
Leon scrambled out of the car, and saw the horrifying sight of a woman by the wheels with a head wound and one of her legs looking badly damaged. She got down to her knees and let out a sigh of relief when her eyes flickered open. Thank God she's alive.
The young woman cried out in pain, and Leon took her hand and cradled her head. “Try not to move, Miss. I'll get you help.”
She regarded Leon with confused and frightened grey eyes. Her dark brown hair framed an oval face with delicate features. She reached up and touched Leon's cheek, and stroked her fingers down her angry scar. “Did an angel send you?” She said before passing out again.
Mon Ange… Leon recoiled at the use of the name she used for Juliet and the soft German accent she detected in the young woman's voice. She wanted to run, she couldn't deal with this, but it wouldn't be right. This was her fault and she had to get this girl to safety. It was then that she heard another car screech to a halt.
Leon looked up and saw Alex and Beth emerge from a Bentley and hurry over to them.
“What happened?” Alex asked.
“She ran out from the trees and I couldn't stop in time,” Leon said.
Alex nodded and said, “I'll drive to the cottage hospital and bring help. Beth you stay here with Leon, Poni shouldn't be too far behind us.”
“Of course, darling.”
Beth knelt down beside the young woman.
“Has she been conscious at all?” Beth knelt down beside them and looked the young woman's injuries.
When Leon looked down she realised she had been stroking the young woman's cheek without thinking. She immediately stopped and pulled back.
“Yes, but only for a few seconds.”
Beth picked up a scuffed looking handbag. “We might find something with her name on it here.” She pulled out a locket. “The locket is engraved with the name Isana. Unusual.”
Leon felt her stomach clench. She felt a whole slew of emotions hit her at once, guilt and anger among them. The image that haunted her dreams flashed across her mind. Juliet screaming as the German soldiers beat her, and then shot her in the head.
“It's German.” She stood quickly and walked back to her car to get a drink from her hip flask, and take one of her nerve pills.
The small ambulance from the cottage hospital arrived, and the ambulance men took over the scene.
Why did I come back here? This was a mistake.
***
Alex and Poni stood at the bottom of the stairs and watched as Thomas carried the injured girl upstairs, while both of their wives fussed around her, and gave instructions to the servants. Poni had come upon the scene as she was about to drive through Dencotte village, on her way to pick up Lotty and Kitten.
"Looks as if our good ladies have a new project. They are so kind hearted," Poni said.
Alex nodded and looked over to the front door where a dishevelled and shocked-looking Leon waited by the front door. “I think we have a project as well, my friend. She looks even worse after our meeting with Rowe."
They both took her to the study. Alex poured her a large brandy and handed it to her. "Get that down you, old man. You've had quite a shock."
Poni lit a cigarette for Leon and handed it to her. "She just ran out in front of me, but I wasn't watching. It was my mistake. I'll pay for her medical bills."
Alex gave Poni a worried look. Leon appeared lost in her thoughts. "Don't worry about that, Leon. I'll take care..."
"No!" Leon snapped angrily. "My fault, my responsibility."
As soon as she'd said it she looked as though she regretted it. "Forgive me, Alex. I don't..." Leon sat with her head in her hands.
“It is forgotten. If you feel that way then of course you can take the responsibility."
Poni and Alex exchanged a worried look. Leon appeared to be shell-shocked and if Alex was right, it wasn't simply this morning's incident that made it so. Alex had been so caught up with the children and then Rowe's threat, that she hadn't taken the time to help Leon as she had wanted to.
“I'll telephone you with an address to send me the bills.”
“You're not leaving are you?” Alex asked.
Leon nodded sadly. “I think it's time. I've confronted the past head-on, and made Rowe see the truth, and hopefully start to heal. That's all I can do.”
Poni sat on the edge of the desk and said, “But what about your healing, Leon? Forgive me if I'm speaking out of turn, but you look as if you are still carrying a heavy burden. You need to find peace for yourself.”
Leon blew out a long breath of smoke. “I don't think that is possible for me, Poni. My chance at happiness and peace was taken away from me.”
Alex didn't like the way Leon was talking at all. She was afraid if Leon left, she may decide to end her pain herself. “Please stay for a while longer? You need time, and to be surrounded by your friends. I'm sorry I have been preoccupied with my own thoughts of the past, but I'm here for you. We both are.”
Leon was quiet for a few seconds and then looked up at Alex. “I'll stay, but just for a little while longer.”
***
It was night and Isana lay awake in the dark, clutching her covers tightly. The pain had woken her some time ago into total panic. Who was she, and why was she here? It was terrifying not knowing who she was, and where she came from. In the midst of her panic she heard the sounds of someone shouting in their sleep. It sounded like the woman who had saved her, Leon. In amongst all the unintelligible moans and groans, she heard Leon beg someone by the name of Juliet.
"Juliet! Don't leave me, no. No!"
Isana could feel the pain in her voice. Leon had been the one light in the darkness of her day. She who had gently cradled her in her arms as she lay on the road, carried her into the ambulance, and made her feel safe for the only time that day.
Whoever Juliet was, she had been important to Leon, and had caused the terrible pain she could hear in her shouts of terror. Leon was an unusual kind of woman, but then everyone in this great house was a little unusual. Isana supposed she should have been shocked at the two women who dressed as men would, and acted as a husband would towards Beth and Lotty, but she hadn't been. When she saw how the two reacted to each other with such love and warmth, it seemed perfectly natural.
Although she couldn't remember anything about her past, she could feel in her bones that she hadn't observed such kindness and unquestionable love between the two couples before, but Leon was different. In Leon she felt such loneliness and pain. She had lost someone who she loved, she was certain of that.
Isana groaned as the pain in her knee intensified. She wished she could just sleep and escape the pain she felt in her knee and ribs, not to mention her throbbing headache, but every time she closed her eyes she saw a shadowy figure chasing her. If only she could remember who he was, then perhaps she wouldn't be so afraid.
***
Leon awoke early next morning and took a walk to try and clear her head, and decide where to go from here. If she left and went back to the continent, she wasn't sure if she would live out the year. The image of her mother crying over her grave was the only thing keeping her from that. She needed a new reason for living, a new occupation, and thought she could at least spend another week or so here to work out what.
On her way back into the house, Leon stopped off at the library to choose some books, and headed upstairs to her room. As she passed the room where the young woman Isana was staying, she heard crying, and raised voices. "Please Miss, we mean you no harm. We just want tohelp you."
"No. No!"
Leon tried to force herself to pass the door, but she couldn't do it. The small frightened voice of Isana tugged at her heart. This situation was her fault. If she hadn't been so distracted then she would have stopped in time, and the young woman would not be in pain.
She knocked the door and waited for one of the young maids Ella opened the door.
"Can I be of any assistance?" Leon asked.
Ella sighed. "We're trying to bathe her wounds and help her freshen up, but she won't let us, Lady Leon."
Walk away. Just walk away and don't get involved. "Will you allow me to speak to her? She seemed to respond to me yesterday."
"Of course, m'lady."
Against her better judgement she walked in and found Isana cowering in the corner of the room in her night-dress, like a terrified animal.
I caused this. As she approached, Isana tried to back further into the wall. Leon stopped and held out her hand.
"Isana? You remember me from yesterday?"
She nodded and Leon smiled trying to appear as non-threatening as possible. "I won't hurt you. I promise. My name is Leon."
Leon walked closer and crouched down. She reached out her to Isana and the young woman flinched. Leon was sure there was more to this fear than the accident yesterday. She saw the same look in herself when she looked in the mirror. She was sure they shared more than a passing knowledge of emotional pain.
"Isana? You've been injured, and Lady Beth's staff simply want to clean your wounds and check your bandages."
"Ana, not Isana," The young woman said in a whisper.
"Ana? You remember that people call you Ana?" Leon asked.
She nodded and gave Leon the faintest of smiles. "Ana it is then. May I lift you back into bed?"
Ana nodded. Being careful of her injured ribs and leg, Leon lifted Ana in one movement, and walked over to the bed. Before she put her down, she saw Ana looking intently at her. She touched the long scar running down her cheek and said, "Leon is the lion, brave and courageous."
The way Ana looked at her, studied her, made her feel exposed, and she wanted to run. "I am not courageous."
Leon put her down carefully and sought to escape as quickly as possible, but just as she turned away Beth came into the bedroom.
"Lady Beth. How are you this morning?"
"Quite well, thank you, Leon." Leon could easily see why Beth was the one to tame her comrade, Lord Dalton. Her bright eyes and shining smile radiated a goodness that was sure to melt any heart.
"Good, and how is Isana today?" Beth said.
Leon looked at Ana and saw that she was searching for reassurance. "Lady Beth is a kind woman, Ana. You will be perfectly safe with her, all right?"
Ana nodded and returned Beth's smile. "She has been a bit frightened, and reluctant to have her wounds tended to, but she said she remembered she preferred to be called Ana. May I leave her in your care?" Leon said.
"Of course."
Leon gathered her books and headed towards the door, but stopped when she heard Ana call her name. She looked back and saw Ana smile at her. "Thank you, Leon."
She felt her heart skip in a way that it hadn't done in a long, long time, and the guilt twisted at her guts. Juliet.
Without returning Ana's smile or acknowledging her in any way, she walked out of the room.
***
Once Ana's wounds were dressed and changed she was a lot more settled. Beth sat by her bedside, making up the powders that the doctor had left for the pain.
She stirred the medicine and handed Ana the glass. "Drink this all up and you'll feel better."
Ana took the glass tentatively and looked at her nervously. "Lady Dalton..."
"Call me Beth."
"Beth...why are you helping me?"
It worried Beth that Ana was surprised that people could be kind for no other reason than human decency, despite the fact that she had lost her memory. It was clear that somewhere deep inside she hadn't known much kindness in her life.
She placed her hand gently on Ana's and said, "There are at least three reasons why. The first being that as Lord and Lady of Dencotte, it is our duty to take care of all who need our help on our estate lands, and you were injured on our lands. Secondly Leon is very sorry that she hurt you and feels responsible for your care."
When she mentioned Leon's name, the corners of Ana's mouth raised into a ghost of a smile.
"She is kind. Have you known her a long time?"
"Oh no...well I've only just met her recently. Alex and Poni are old war comrades of hers, and invited her to stay for a while."
"Oh I see." Ana drank down her medicine and handed the glass back to Beth.
“The third reason is because I was in your position and someone helped me. I had nothing and no one in the world, and something I was running from, and Lotty helped me. She got me a job, introduced me to Lord Dalton and the rest is history. I owe so much to her because without her I would have nothing, and the best way to pay her back is to return the kindness to someone else in need."
Ana nervously played with the bedcovers. "How do you know I'm running from something?"
"You may have lost your memory for the moment, but I can see it in your eyes. You are running from something."
"Yes, in my dreams there's a shadow behind me, trying to get me, but I have no idea who."
Beth stroked her cheek gently and Ana flinched automatically. "Don't worry, Alex will find out who you are and what it is that made you run, but in the meantime we're going to get you better. In a few days, if you're feeling up to it, we'll take you out into the grounds for a walk. Foster our butler assures me there is a wheel chair in the house somewhere."
Ana looked as though she was tiring again. "I'll leave you to rest, but if you need anything just ask one of the maids, and I'll be back to see you later."
***
A few days later the doctor gave Beth his blessing to take Ana outside. Beth and Lotty got her dressed in some of Beth's clothes and Thomas carried her down the large Dencotte steps. Ana was fearful at first of going outside, but as she began to trust Beth, Lotty and her safety at Dencotte she grew into enjoy it.
Beth took her out each day, Bertie the beagle always following behind, and they always ended up in Beth's favourite spot, the Japanese garden in front of the Koi fish pond. Often Lotty would accompany them but today they were just themselves.
"It is beautiful here, Beth. I can see why you fell in love with it."
"It is truly. I am so lucky to live here."
Ana saw Leon walking out from the forest path with books under her arm. They had seen her walking most of the days Beth had brought her outside, but she always pretended not to see them or made her excuses to go back inside. She wondered what on earth she could have done to offend her so? Since the day Leon had helped her calm and lifted her back into bed, she hadn't spoken to her once, and she had wanted to see her again. Ana saw so much in those cool grey eyes that she wanted to know more.
Beth took out the book she had been reading from and said, "Shall I read from where I left off yesterday?"
Just as Ana was about to answer Laura hurried up to them with a message for Lady Beth. "M'lady? Nanny Winnie would like to see you. Little Freddie has woken up early for her feed.”
Beth shook her head and sighed. “Freddie would eat and demand attention all day if she could, so different from little May.”
Ana could sense Beth was reluctant to leave her alone. "I'll be fine sitting here, Beth. Please go and see to your baby."
"I'm not sure…oh I know." She watched Beth hurry in Leon's direction, and call for her attention.
Oh please. Don't ask her to sit with me. There was obviously a reason as to why Leon had been avoiding her, and this was underlined when she looked over to her worriedly. Ana saw her nod eventually and start to make her way over with Beth.
"Ana, Leon will keep you company till I get back."
Ana pulled her blanket further up on her lap and said, "Really there's no need."
"Of course there is," Beth said. "Leon will be delighted to sit with you, won't you Leon?"
"Yes...delighted." The awkwardness in Leon's manner was evident.
Beth walked off, Bertie running beside her, and Leon sat down placing her pile of books on her lap. There was an awkward silence for a minute before she said, "So, how are you doing, Ana? Feeling better?"
"Yes, the swelling on my knee has gone down a bit, but I'm still quite sore everywhere else."
Leon let out a sigh. "I'm so sorry I hit you. Your pain is all my fault."
Ana reached out in instinct and touched Leon's hand, but pulled back when she felt her stiffen. "Please don't say that. It's my fault, I ran out on you."
Leon stood and walked to the edge of the pond. She felt a mixture of shame, guilt and anger when in Ana's company. Shame because she knew she was responsible for her injuries. If she hadn't been so wrapped in her pain and reaching for the alcohol to dull it, she would never have hit her. Then she felt guilt and anger because when she had lifted Ana in her arms the other day, and looked into her eyes, her heart felt...well she wasn't sure but it was something she hadn't felt since she held Juliet in her arms, and it disturbed her. So far she had been successful at avoiding her, but she hadn't been able to deny Beth.
"No, Ana. It was my fault. I was too wrapped up in my own troubles to see you. I just need you to know how sorry I am."
"I know, Leon."
Leon still hadn't looked back, but nodded her head. She walked back to the garden bench and sat down. "So? Have you remembered anything more about your past?"
"No, just that I was running from something or someone. A man I'm sure. Lord Dalton has people looking into it. She says that it shouldn't be too difficult to track down someone from the Sheffield area who has a German accent but..."
She could feel Ana's worry and as well as see her sudden nervousness.
"What if they find who I was running from...and they come to take me back? I might not remember who they were, but I know they frightened me. Frightened me enough to run with only this locket." She pointed to the locket around her neck.
Leon turned around and faced her fully. "The Daltons will not just hand you over to anyone, Ana. They are good people who will make sure you are safe."
"But what if they have no choice? What if I'm not over eighteen...I...I...." Leon saw Ana was starting to panic and took her hand.
"Listen to me, Ana. I promise you, I will not let anyone take you unless you are happy to go with them. Besides the doctor thought you were over eighteen, everything will be all right."
It had all become too much for Ana and tears started to roll down her cheeks. "But they might legally have a way..."
"Ana? Look at me?" Leon cupped her face tenderly. The young woman's terror was making her forget keeping her distance.
Their eyes connected and Leon wiped away a tear with her thumb. "I give you my word, I will not let anyone take you away."
"Why? Why are you being so good to me?" Ana asked through her sobs.
Everything seemed so clear to Leon in that moment. This was what she was meant to do here. She was meant to help this young woman get better and make sure she was safe. She knew deep inside that Juliet would expect no less of her. "I injured you, you're my responsibility."
Ana took Leon's handkerchief to wipe her tears. "I had thought you were trying to avoid me."
"If I was then I won't be anymore. I know what I have to do. Now, why don't I read to you for a time?"
Ana rewarded her with a smile. "I would like that, Leon. I think an angel sent me a brave lion."
"I don't know about that the brave lion, but I certainly knew an angel once."
***
"There must be a way, Brampton!" Percival Upperton slammed his fist down on the desk of his lawyer.
"Steady on, old boy. There is no way to access the Sternburg fortune before she is twenty one, unless she marries."
"But she's my ward for God's sake. I must have some rights?" Percy flopped down on the seat on the other side of the desk.
"Yes you do. Your generous allowance that Miss Sternburg's trust has paid out since she was fifteen years old. It's your own fault, Upperton. You should have married the girl as soon as she was eighteen. Then as her husband you would have control of it all."
Percival pulled his pipe from his pocket and knocked it on the desk, as was his habit when agitated. "I was trying to make it look respectable, man. I'm fifty-six years old, was I to march her down to the church on the morning of her eighteenth birthday?"
Brampton sighed. "I thought you had the girl under control? She always seemed such a... biddable girl."
"She was until...well it doesn't matter. The point is she's gone and I need that money, Brampton. I've invested too much in her to let her go. I'll engage a private detective."
Brampton leaned forward and said, "Well you have time. Just make sure you've married the girl before she's twenty-one, or it will all be hers."
"I will find that bloody girl, and get my money!"
***
Two horses bounded across the green fields around the Dencotte estate. Riding had always given Leon a sense of freedom inside, and she was only too happy to accompany Alex on a run.
They slowed as they got closer to the house. Leon patted her horse's neck and said, “This is a fine horse. Thank you for allowing me to ride her.”
“My pleasure. She is at your disposal as long as you're here. If you're interested, I'm going to Poni's to do some shooting…”
“Thanks, but I thought I might take Ana out for her walk this afternoon, give Lady Beth a break if she would allow me.”
“I'm sure she would be grateful, she has been exhausted since we returned from London. The emotional toll was heavy on her. Taking care of two babies is enough to tire anyone without the added strain of the whole Rowe episode, which I made so much worse.”
They both walked into the cobbled stable yard, and slid off their respective horses, allowing the stable boy to take them away? Rowe was intent on hurting you, no matter what happened.”
“I know but I made it worse when I didn't take my wife into my confidence. I hurt her by keeping my bad memories locked away inside myself, but when I was forced to tell the truth I felt so much lighter. I promised Beth that will never happen again.”
Alex put a hand on her shoulder and said, “If you ever find someone you feel you can talk to about the war, then I urge you to do it. The relief you feel at unburdening yourself means the past cannot torture you the way it has done until now. You never forget, but you can feel better.”
Leon nodded but couldn't imagine any circumstances that would make her talk about the past. As long as she held her painful memories inside, the longer she kept Juliet alive inside her.
Alex left her to go in search of her steward and Leon found Beth coming out of her writing room. She looked tired and drawn, but still had a smile on her face.
“Beth could I have a few words?”
Beth gave her a weary smile. “Of course. I was just on my way to meet with Mrs Mckluskey, but we can talk on the way.”
Leon offered her arm and as they walked across the entrance hall, Beth said, “What was it you wanted to talk about?”
"Oh yes, I wondered if you would permit me to take Ana out for her afternoon walk today?"
Beth smiled. "I'm sure she would enjoy that, and it would be a great help to me. Freddie and May are tiring me out at the moment, not that I would change that for the world. I adore them.”
"I can see that, and thank you. I feel like I should make amends to Ana so to speak. Help her on her road to recovery."
Beth smiled at her knowingly.
Leon's reasons for helping were not simply because of guilt, but as a way of making herself feel better by being useful to someone for the first time in a long number of years. If Beth could work her out she was sure that Alex had no chance at all with her.
When they arrived at the top of the stairs to the kitchen, Beth said, “Oh while you are out, try and get her to talk about her memories. The doctor suggested it was best to keep her talking about things and hopefully her memories will return before long."
"I will of course. I thought I'd walk her down to the wishing well. It's a nice spot."
Beth smiled at her. "It is. Be kind to her Leon. I sense that she's known tragedy in her life, and when she remembers what it is, it's going to be hard for her."
"I will.
***
"Where are we going, Leon?" Ana held on tight to the arms of the wheelchair as Leon pushed her along an uneven path.
"I know the path is a bit bumpy but we'll be there in a few seconds." They rounded a corner and Ana gasped at the pretty site by one corner of the lake. There was a stone-built arbour next to what looked like a well.
"This is beautiful, Leon."
Leon pushed the chair into the arbour seating area, put on the brakes and made sure Ana's blanket was well over her legs. "Isn't it? I found it when I was out walking. Alex says it's an old wishing well that was built in the 1800's. I thought it would be a nice place to visit."
Ana gave her a larger smile that she had seen since meeting her.
“It is wonderful. Alex and Beth are so lucky to live here."
"They are, but I have one more surprise for you." Leon fumbled about with a bag she had resting on handles of the chair.
She brought out a flask of tea, and a square box. "I went down to the village and got these cakes from the baker's. I thought we could enjoy them with some tea."
Ana nodded enthusiastically. "Thank you, Leon."
Leon found Ana's smiles warmed her heart. It was such a joy to be concerned with someone else's welfare and not dwell on her own pain for once. She poured out two cups from the flask and handed Ana a cake.
She watched Ana take a bite and delight in the flavour. The sound made her heart beat just a little bit faster. "You have a sweet tooth?"
Ana stopped eating and looked as though she was thinking hard. "Yes, I do. I mean can't remember but I must do, don't you think?"
"I think you should trust your instincts. Your memories are in there somewhere."
Ana nodded and they finished their cakes listening to the breeze in the trees, and the trickle of water. It was strange to Leon, how comfortable the silence was. Usually she felt awkward with other people, knowing they were wondering about what had happened to her face, and hands, but she didn't get that sense from Ana.
"Are you good friends with Lord Dalton? Have you known her a long time?" Ana asked eventually.
Leon took out a cigarette, lit it and inhaled a lungful of smoke. "That's a difficult question to answer, Ana. We aren't friends in a conventional sense. In fact I don't know her that well, but she saved my life and I owe her everything."
Ana placed her plastic tea cup on the stone wall beside her. "She saved your life? What..."
"During the war," Leon said as if that would be enough information.
"Ah."
That was not the usual reaction she got from people. They always wanted to know more, not simply say 'Ah.'
"Is that all you're going to say?" She said with an edge to her voice.
"What do you want me to say, Leon?"
Leon got up and walked over to the well. She had no reason to be angry, she never wanted anyone to ask more, but for some reason she wanted Ana to be interested in her pain. She took a hip flask from her pocket and took a gulp of whiskey.
"Well...don't you want to know how, why? Is that how I got these ugly scars?" She pointed to her face and fingernails.
Ana looked at her with sadness in her eyes. "I don't see any ugly scars. I see the marks of bravery, the marks of a proud battle-scarred lion."
Her anger and annoyance disappeared in a second. In Ana's quiet, softly accented voice, the words reached inside and disrupted the control she kept on her pain. No one had ever said anything like that to her before. She had always seen the marks on her body as signs of weakness, her failure to keep those she cared about safe, but those few words stopped her in her tracks.
She looked at Ana sitting in her wheel chair, her leg elevated, broken ribs, bumps and bruises all over her body and no memory of who she was, and laughed at the absurdity of the situation.
"What's so funny, Leon?"
She put her hip flask away and returned to sit beside Ana. "I'm laughing because I'm the one supposed to be getting you to talk about your past, help you remember and get better, and yet you are the one that is trying to help me."
"I can see that you carry a lot of pain in your heart. I can't remember mine, but I can recognise it in your eyes, and I've heard you have bad dreams at night. I'll never ask you to talk about anything you don't want to."
Leon didn't know what to say to that. It was as if Ana could see beyond the defences that she kept up, and that was disconcerting. "Why don't we make a wish in the well, and I'll get you back to the house?"
Ana smiled and nodded. Leon gave her a penny from her pocket and pushed her over to the well. Ana closed her eyes and threw it in with a splash.
"Did you wish for your memory back?" Leon asked.
She looked up at her and smiled. "No, I wished that you would find peace, Leon."
Leon gulped hard. What a beautiful, unselfish soul this young lady had. It was frightening to her that every time she was in Ana's company, she felt a little bit of her light enter her heart, after living so long in the darkness.
Then the guilt hit her. Juliet.
"We better get you back. It's getting cold."
***
The next morning, Leon woke up with a strange feeling of excitement in the pit of her stomach. Her usual feeling of despair was relegated to the back of her mind, and her usual pounding headache wasn't there for the first time in a long, long time.
She sat up in bed and automatically reached for her hip flask. To her surprise it was still half full. She always had to refill it in the mornings, sometimes twice in one day, but yesterday she hadn't thought about alcohol that much, she had been too concerned with making Ana feel better. That also explained the excited feeling inside. It felt good to be useful again. It was exactly what she needed. Maybe by helping Ana she could help herself.
She picked up her bottle of nerve pills and took the two she was prescribed but this time used the water on the bedside table to swallow them. After dressing, and enjoying breakfast downstairs with Alex, Leon hurried upstairs to enquire if Ana was dressed.
The maid let her in and she saw Ana sitting on the bed in a pretty floral dress. When Ana saw who was there, her face lit up with a smile that made Leon's heart thud faster in response. She's so beautiful. The minute she thought it Leon chastised herself for thinking it.
Sleeping with women when she was drunk and alone was one thing, that was just her body, but deep down she knew her thoughts and responses to Ana came from a place that she had vowed would only ever belong to Juliet.
I'm just helping a girl in need. That's all.
“Leon? You are early.”
“I thought we could take a tour of the house together. Dencotte has pieces of art that would better most in a gallery, and a library to match. Alex gave me some pointers of where to look.”
“That sounds nice.”
Leon wheeled Ana out to the top of the stairs where a footman stood ready to help. “I can carry Miss Ana downstairs for you, your ladyship,” he said.
In that moment Leon reacted out of pure instinct. She didn't want anyone else holding Ana in their arms. “No, I will take Miss Ana downstairs, but if you would carry the chair, I'd be very grateful.”
“Leon, I'll be too heavy for you,” Ana said nervously.
She th ought of all the fallen comrades she had lifted or dragged to safety, and knew that this one petite woman would be no problem. “Don't worry, I'm more than capable. Hold tightly around my neck.”
Leon lifted her up in one movement and Ana did hold tightly. She felt Ana's fingers entwine through the short hair at the back of her neck, and the touch sent warm tingles down her spine.
She savoured that warm connection as they travelled downstairs, going slowly and willing it not to end. When they got to the bottom, Leon stood holding her, getting lost in Ana's grey eyes.
As she was enjoying the feeling of Ana's warmth and attractiveness, an image of her carrying Juliet to bed popped into her mind. They had been at the village pub as a couple and raced home to the farm house because they wanted to be together so much. Leon had lifted Juliet at the bottom of the farmhouse stairs and carried her the final few yards before throwing her on the bed.
She immediately stiffened and placed Ana in her wheelchair.
“Is everything all right, Leon?”
“Of course.” She said gruffly and pushed the chair across the entrance hall.
***
Ana had no idea what had caused Leon's stiffness and brusque attitude at the bottom of the stairs, but it had dissipated quickly. It had been so different to the way she had carried her. She had held her like a piece of precious china, and looked into her eyes like she cared. To be in Leon's arms made her feel so safe. Safe enough that the black figure, whom she always felt was coming for her, could never catch her. The touch of Leon's hair and strong neck under her fingertips was something she would remember and take to her dreams tonight she was sure.
They made their way to Dencotte's picture gallery, and took the time to observe each picture carefully. Alex had given Leon a book that had been written to catalogue all the treasure the house held, and it gave them a summary of each work of art.
Each painting that they observed, whether a Rubens, Van Dyke or Rembrandt, Leon took the time to point out all the aspects suggested from the guidebook, and somehow brought the paintings to life.
“You speak with passion about art, Leon,” Ana said.
Leon smiled and pushed the wheelchair further along the corridor. “I enjoy art. My father did similar viewings with me when I was a child, both at art galleries and at home.”
“Did you have paintings like these at home when you were growing up?”
Leon came to a stop and opened the library door before pushing her in. “Yes. Not as many as Alex, but my father has quite a fine collection.”
They stopped by one of the reading tables, and Leon put the brakes on the wheelchair. “What do you think of the library then?”
Ana felt like Leon was changing the subject but let it go for now. “It's beautiful and calm. I can imagine it would be a wonderful place to lose yourself in.”
“Lady Beth tells me her father even has a book in this collection, and a rare first edition of Jane Austen's Pride and Prejudice. What kind of books do you like?”
Ana tried to think hard, but couldn't penetrate the fog that was clouding her memory. “I wish I could remember, but I can't.”
“Don't force it,” Leon said. “Everything will come in good time. I say we pick out some poetry books to read on our afternoon walks. You can't go wrong with poetry can you?”
Ana shook her head in agreement. “Remembering who I am and what I like is almost as terrifying as not knowing. I mean what if I'm not a good person? What if you and the Daltons don't like me? What if I wasn't worth all this kindness?” She couldn't stop the tears that tumbled from her eyes.
“Now, now. None of that.” Leon kneeled down beside her wheelchair and handed her the handkerchief from her suit pocket. “You are a beautiful, gentle soul. That is who you are, memories or no memories.”
Ana wiped her eyes, but couldn't stop the tears. “Maybe there is a reason someone was chasing me.”
“Not at all. When I look in your eyes I see them shining with goodness. Nothing could change that.” Leon kissed her hand and stood up abruptly.
Every time Leon got close to her, she looked guilty and retreated. Ana was determined to know more about her. She wiped the tears that now had calmed and said, “Will you tell me about your family and the house that has the wonderful art collection?”
Leon sat on the edge of the reading table and lit a cigarette. The subject of family appeared to make her uncomfortable.
“Ah, my family home is in Belgravia in London, that's where I was brought up. The art collection was handed down through my father's family. He was until recently Baron Bluefield.”
“Oh my, I didn't realise. What do you mean, until recently?”
Leon tapped her cigarette ash into the ashtray on the table. “My Uncle Eustace died, he had no children and so my father inherited the Earldom of Marchdean. Mother and father now have Marchdean house, an estate in Buckinghamshire.”
“You're Lady Leona now?”
“So it would seem.” Leon chuckled. “Does it suit me? Or am I more of a Lord like Alex?”
Ana laughed. “Probably. Lord Leo the brave lion. How does that sound?”
“From your lips, perfect. Let's pick some books.”
Leon walked her around the shelves, where they picked up volumes from Shakespeare, Wordsworth, Byron and Keats, and as Leon thumbed through one of the works of Byron, Ana asked,
“Do you see your parents often?”
The light-hearted atmosphere was gone in a second. Leon did not want to go down this path. The answer would only lead to questions she couldn't cope with answering, but what choice did she have?
She shut the book she was leafing through and said, “I haven't seen them since the end of the war. I was taken back to London after I was rescued, and after I recovered enough I left the country. I couldn't bear the sympathy of my family and the memories, so I went to America and Canada until the war ended, and then travelled around Europe…until now.”
Leon could see the questions on Ana's lips and the sympathy on her face, this was exactly what she didn't want.
“How did you survive on your own, I mean…”
“I inherited my grandmother's fortune when I was twenty- one. It was a substantial sum and allowed me to never worry about my finances. I had money and no one to share it with and nothing to strive for, so I simply wandered around Europe trying to forget.”
“Did you forget?”
Leon slammed the book shut and placed the pile on Ana's lap. “No, I will never forget.”
Ana reached out to touch her own hand, but she pulled away and went to the back of the wheelchair.
“Time to get your back for your medication I think.”
As Ana was wheeled out of the library she asked, “Leon? I've come from Germany at some time in my past, what if my family were involved with the Nazi…”
Leon didn't want to think about that. It shouldn't matter, Ana was an innocent, but could she get past the images of Nazi soldiers shooting Juliet in the head, or torturing her? She didn't have an answer for that, so she ignored the question completely. “I'm quite sure Lady Beth will be serving tea around this time. Let's find out.”
***
Ana sat in the drawing room with Beth and Lotty. They were each holding a baby while Kitten ran about the room. She observed the women with fascination, they were both wonderful mothers and she couldn't help but wonder if she had ever had a woman like them to take care of her.
Little Kitten toddled over to Lotty who was holding May, and stroked her soft head, “Baby May my beft fend.”
Lotty chuckled. “Is she little one?”
“Uh huh, mama.”
“And what about Freddie, Kitten?” Beth asked.
Kat's face broke out in a big smile and she hurried over to plant a big kiss on the baby's cheek. “Feddie is my special fend. I wuv her.”
They were interrupted by Foster. “Excuse me my lady, Miss Ana's medication.”
“Thank you, Foster. Could you ask Nanny Winnie to come and help take me take the children upstairs? They are getting awfully tired.”
“Of course, my lady.”
Ana took her medicine powders and let out a big yawn. “Excuse me, I'm feeling rather tired now myself.”
Kitten toddled over with her blanket and handed it to Ana. “Ou seepy?”
Her heart melted on the spot. “Thank you, Kitten. You're a sweet girl.”
When Kitten saw Ana give the blanket a cuddle, she toddled off towards her mother quite happily.
“You're privileged, Ana,” Lotty said. “Not everyone is allowed to hold Kitten's blankie.”
They all chuckled, but it really did give Ana a warm feeling that she was being made to feel so at home by people who were strangers to her.
“Did you enjoy your tour of the house?” Beth asked.
“I really did. You have some beautiful art here, and Leon was so knowledgeable and made it come alive.”
Beth gave Lotty a knowing look. “I remember Alex giving me a similar tour. It was quite… illuminating.”
Lotty laughed. “I'm quite sure, Beth.”
They both seemed to be sharing a private joke, but Ana wanted to know if they knew more about Leon. “Leon was wonderful, is wonderful to me, but sometimes when she looks at me… I'm sure she looks guilty, as if spending time with me is hard for her. I don't want to think she's forcing herself to spending time with me, because of the accident.”
Beth lifted Freddie up onto her shoulder. “I'm sure that's not the case, Ana. As I've said before, it's not our story to tell, but believe me, Leon is making progress just by striking up a friendship with you. Give her time, and you'll understand why.”
Ana hated to think of Leon being in pain, maybe she could help her just as Leon was he r.
***
Over the course of the next week, Leon spent every day taking Ana out for a walk. Ana for her part loved every minute of the time they spent together, and looked forward to it enormously.
This morning Ana was seen by the doctor. He examined her and changed her dressings. Once he finished with his examination, Ella and another maid helped her dress.
“How do you feel, Miss?” Ella asked.
“Much more comfortable, thank you. You've all been so kind.”
It couldn't have been more true. Slowly she had come to trust the extraordinary staff and family and in her darker moments worried what would happen when she would have to leave.
Ella smiled at her warmly and began to gather up her dirty clothes. “It's our pleasure, Miss. Lady Leon has been waiting outside, shall I show her in?”
Ana's heart started to beat a little faster. “Leon is outside?”
“Yes Miss. Ever since the doctor arrived.”
“Really?”
Ella smiled. “Really, Miss.” Ana wondered if someone had made her feel this way before, if anyone had ever given her the feeling of butterflies in her stomach, simply by thinking about her.
Ella opened the door and said, “She's ready for you now, Lady Leon.”
A bashful-looking Leon took a tentative step inside the room, holding two of the books they had picked out the day before.
“How are you feeling today, Ana? The doctor says you are doing well.”
“I am. He says I can start to use crutches to exercise each day by the end of the week.”
“That's wonderful, Ana. I'll help you exercise your leg and get to back to normal.” Leon took her hand and stroked her fingers tenderly down the younger woman's cheek. “I promise.”
Ana could feel the blush burning in her cheeks. Was she meant to feel this way about another woman? Leon, like her friends Alex and Poni were not ordinary women though, and Beth and Lotty loved them like they would a man. Maybe it was simply natural for some people?
“Where shall we go today?”
“Lady Beth invited me to come and visit the children in the nursery before our walk.”
Leon placed the books on the bed and said, “Then that's what we'll do, and then I'll take you out for a walk. It's cloudy but dry for the moment.”
Leon pushed the wheelchair along to the nursery and knocked on the door. Lord Dalton opened the door with one of the babies in her arms.
“Leon, Ana, come in.”
“Yes, Ana, come and have a hold of our babies, they're so good for you.” Beth said.
Leon pushed her into the nursery, and Ana looked around at the beautifully decorated room. There were toys of every kind just waiting for the babies to become old enough to play with them. Freddie and May were so lucky to be born to such loving parents. It was then that she saw it. A teddy bear sitting on top of a chest of drawers. A part of her past that sent her tumbling in the darkness of her memories.
A young Ana walked through a large industrial factory. Lines and lines of identical teddy bears passed by on the conveyor belts of the vast machines. She skipped happily, and felt so very excited. She looked up and saw her mother, who was holding her hand, smiling back at her. She pointed up ahead and said, “Look Ana, Papa, and Grandfather are waiting for you.”
Ana looked up ahead and saw them waiting for her. She broke free from her mother's hand and ran and jumped into her father's arms.
“There's my little Mäuschen. Do you like the new teddy bears Grandpapa and Papa have made? Will other children love them?”
“Yes, they are sweet, Papa. Children will love to play with them.”
“That is wonderful,” Her grandfather said. “We have the Ana seal of approval, and just as always you shall have the first one off of the line.”
She felt such joy in her young heart, when her grandfather handed her the teddy bear with a bright red bow on it. Her arms reached out to hug her grandfather, and her father transferred her to his arms. As she hugged him tightly, behind him on the wall she saw the large lettering, Sternburg & Sons.
Then everything changed, they were in a basement of a house. Terror filled the very air. The room of adults, her family and extended family were arguing about things she didn't understand. Ana stood beside her mother, grasping on to her teddy bear, when a man came in holding a machine gun.
“The Nazis are coming. We have to move now if we are to get you to the train, but we can only take you in small groups.”
“Take our daughter first,” Her father said, and then turned to her grandfather. “You go with Ana, Papa. Make sure you both get on that train.”
He shook his head. “No, I'm an old man…”
Her father gripped him by the shoulders. “You must go, Papa. You and Ana will need more time. Go with her, and we will meet you there. Our money has been transferred to Britain. No matter what happens get her out.”
Her mother engulfed her in a hug with tears running down her face. Ana gripped her mother tightly. “Mama what's happening?”
“Go with Grandpapa and this man, and remember I love you. We love you.”
Her father hugged her and then she was pulled crying and screaming from the room. Then everything went black.
***
Leon and Alex looked on as Beth sat on the side of Ana's bed. After she reacted with terror to something in the nursery, Ana had fainted and Leon had carried her gently back to the bed. Since then, she had regained consciousness but wouldn't talk. She lay on the bed, staring ahead and gripping the sheets so tightly her knuckles were white.
Beth stroked her forehead and said, “Ana? Tell us what happened so we can help you.”
Again there was no response. Leon stood watching on nervously. When Ana had slumped in her wheelchair and wouldn't respond, she had felt a fear she hadn't experienced in a long, long time. If she thought about it carefully she would feel guilty but she wasn't thinking when it came to Ana, she was acting on pure instinct, acting with her heart and that was unexpected.
“Can I try, Beth?”
“Of course.” Beth got up and whispered to Alex, “Let's step out for a moment. I have a feeling Leon has a better chance.”
Once they left, Leon knelt down at the side of the bed and took Ana's hand. “What happened in the nursery?”
Ana didn't respond and kept staring off into space. “Ana, I know something triggered memories for you, and you're scared, but someone once told me that if you talk about it, the fear from the memories lose their power.”
Again Ana stared straight ahead, unmoved by her words. Then it hit her how hypocritical she was. How could she expect Ana to face her memories and pain when she never had?
Leon closed her eyes for a second and the memories that played in her head every night flashed in front of her eyes in fast forward. How could she ever tell anyone the dark images that tortured her? When she opened them and looked at Ana terrified and lost inside her head, she knew this was the right thing to do.
She took a breath and gently stroked Ana's soft brown hair. “I know what it's like to have memories paralyse you with fear, Ana. I've never told anyone this before but I…” She gulped away the fear of talking about this and continued,
“I was in the French Resistance during the war. My mother is French and I wanted to do all I could to help. My Maquis cell worked in conjunction with British Intelligence. We helped intelligence officers and military personnel behind enemy lines, as well as planned operations against the local Nazi base of operations.”
Ana still wouldn't meet her eyes, but she could tell that she had pulled back from wherever her mind had been, and was now present. It encouraged her to continue.
“My cell had good co-operation from the French locals, and we set up a safe house and arms repository at a local farm, that's where I met…Juliet.” Ana's eyes came alive and snapped up to meet Leon's.
“Juliet was the farmer's daughter and I loved her so much.” Leon's voice broke with emotion and she had to choke back the tears that started to well in her eyes.
“Juliet and I planned to settle in England after the war, and make a life together. Then one day everything changed. Alex and her team were on a mission nearby and needed our help. We gave them sanctuary and got them back to be picked up by a Royal Navy ship. Three days later a large group of Nazi soldiers descended upon the farm. It seems there was an informant in Alex's team. They shot all of my Maquis members and Juliet's family one by one, then…shot Juliet in the head.”
Ana reached out and cupped Leon's cheek, and her thumb wiped away the tears she hadn't realised had escaped her eyes. Perhaps Leon could have stopped there, now she had Ana's attention but now she had started to unburden herself to Ana, and the gentle warmth of her touch on her face, encouraged her on.
“I saw them shoot her in the head right in front of me, and I'll never be able to get that image out of my mind. The girl I loved lay there with the light in her eyes gone. I wish they had killed me there and then.”
“Why didn't they?” Ana asked in a small voice.
Leon tapped her head. “Because of what was in here. I co-ordinated the resistance in the region, and had extremely valuable information on the Maquis cells and allied Intelligence.”
Ana ran a fingernail down the long scar on her face, and said, “They hurt you.”
Leon nodded. Ana's touch was tender, caring, and very intimate. It was as intimate as she had been with anyone since that fateful day, and surprisingly she didn't feel panicked or scared. “Yes they wanted to know everything I knew.”
“But you survived. Alex and Poni found you?”
“Yes, I would have been dead before they got to me but…”
“But what?”
“I would have been dead after the first day if…” An image of herself hanging by chains, bloody and broken flashed across her mind. “If I had talked.”
“How long did it take for Alex to find you?”
“Six days.”
The two words hung heavily in the air between them. It was clear by the tears welling up in Ana's eyes that she could tell what had happened in those six days.
Ana took Leon's hand that was missing fingernails and simply held it gently. “Leo, the brave, scarred lion.”
“I had no choice. I couldn't talk. I had information that could have meant the deaths of hundreds of people, and I am far from brave. I'm a coward who used alcohol to numb the pain inside. I nearly killed you by hitting you on the road.”
“No, don't ever think that. You found me when I was lost.”
Leon didn't know what to say. Ana had such an innocence and goodness in her that she couldn't help be drawn to her, like some of that goodness would somehow chase away the darkness inside of her. She found herself leaning in to kiss Ana's beautiful rosy lips, but pulled back quickly instead. She couldn't believe what she had nearly done. Although she'd had sex with other women, she had never kissed anyone since Juliet.
She closed her eyes and pulled herself together, and said, “Someone told me that memories and fears lose their power if you say them out loud. I've never tried it until now, but telling you seemed right.”
There was a few seconds of silence before Ana said, “I saw the teddy bear in the nursery…”
***
Alex and Beth waited in the study while Leon talked to Ana. They called for tea and Beth poured them out two cups. “Why did you think Leon could get through to her?” Alex asked.
Beth took her seat on the other side of the study desk. “I might be wrong but I think she looks at her like someone who needs saving, and perhaps in saving someone else it can make her feel better about herself.”
As soon as Beth said it, something chimed within Alex. “You saved me. I met you at my lowest and I thought I was swooping in to save you like a knight in shining armour, but all the time it was you saving me.”
Beth smiled at her. “We saved each other, darling. Maybe Ana can give Leon some purpose.”
“Perhaps. Her girl, Juliet was killed and she could do nothing about it, now here is a girl that she can help. It makes sense.”
There was a knock at the door. Beth got up and let Leon in. “…teddy bear,” Leon said as soon as she entered the study. “It was the teddy bear.”
“The teddy bear in the nursery?” Beth asked.
“Yes, she described being in a factory in Germany. A toy factory she thinks, and teddy bears exactly like that one were being made. She saw the factory sign on the wall that said, Sternburg & Sons.”
“Sternburg? That's a toy company isn't it? The bear in the nursery is a Sternburg,” Beth said.
Alex took out a cigarette and offered one to Leon. “Yes, it was mine as a child. I think they were one of the biggest toy companies in the world at the time, but I don't think they exist anymore. The war changed that.”
Leon blew out a cloud of smoke and said, “The war changed everything.”
Beth gazed at Alex, clearly sensing the tension that the subject of the war brought to her and Leon. “Why don't I go and sit with Ana and let you both decide what to next.”
Alex received a kiss before Beth left them to it. “Sit down and tell me everything.”
“She remembers the factory, and her mother taking her to meet her father and grandfather. They gave her the bear and told her that she always got the first of every toy made. Sounds to me like it was the family business.”
“Must have been.” Alex replied. “Did she remember anything else, Leon?”
They were hiding in the basement of a house, and a resistance fighter arrived to get them to a train, then a boat and passage to Britain.”
“Hmm…a Jewish family on the run. So her family could be out there still?” Alex said.
“Could be. Her mother and father were to follow after, but that's where her memory ends for the moment.”
“I'll contact my lawyer. There must be lots of records about such a big company and what happened to its owners.”
Alex began to write out some notes for her lawyer. Leon stubbed out her smoke and said, “I know a lot of the Jewish owned companies were commandeered by the Nazis. Their factories were turned over to make munitions and the owner's wealth seized.”
Alex looked up from her notes. “They could have gotten out early. A lot of families arrived in Britain as refugees when things started to get bad.”
Leon was silent for a few moments. “You will be careful, Alex? Right from the start Ana has felt like there is someone chasing her.”
“I will be very discreet in my enquiries, and she will be safe here at Dencotte.”
“I want to do everything in my power to help Ana, Alex. I injured her, she is my responsibility and I mean to protect her.”
It was exactly as Beth had predicted. Leon was determined to be her knight in shining armour. “Of course, Leon. You are in command here. I'll consult with you at every stage. We will get this beautiful young woman back to her life.”
Leon shifted uncomfortably in her seat when Alex mentioned Ana's beauty. It could cause problems for Leon's recovery if she felt more than friendship for her. Ana would get her memory back sometime and could go back to her normal life leaving a distraught Leon behind. Alex prayed that wouldn't be the case.
***
That night Leon went to sleep terrified of what dreams would ravage her, after telling Ana what had happened to her. She sat up at the desk in her room reading, determined not to sleep. A glass of whiskey and her pack of cigarettes were her only companions. Each time her eyes would close, she fought to stay awake, but in the end it was a battle she could not win.
Leon opened her eyes and found herself in the cold dank prison cell that tormented her dreams.
At the point in the dream that she had every night, something changed…
Juliet stepped off to the side, and a new figure walked from the light. Leon strained at her shackles to see who it was, and then she saw her. It was Ana.
Leon looked to Juliet in confusion and she walked over to her smiling. She leant over and held her lips inches from Leon's.
“Someone else needs your fierce love and protection, mon coeur. Keep me in your heart, but make room for love.”
She leaned over and gave Leon a soft kiss that she felt was one of goodbye.
“Don't go, mon ange.”
“I have to move on and so do you.” Then she slowly walked back to the light, only stopping to touch Ana on the shoulder and smile at her, before she dissipated into the bright white light.
Ana swept towards her and tenderly stroked her brow. “Wake up, Leo. You have been brave long enough.”
Leon woke up gasping. “No, no, Juliet. I can't, I won't.”
She got up and pulled the picture she kept of Juliet in her wallet. “I can't move on, Juliet. Don't ask me to.”
As she looked at the picture, she was disturbed by a voice shouting a few rooms down. “Ana.”
She put on her dressing gown, left the picture on her bedside table and went to Ana's room. As she approached she heard Ana pleading, “No, please don't touch me. No, let me go.”
Her hand hovered over the door handle. Should she go in? Perhaps it wasn't a good idea. It wasn't even any of her business. She let out a breath and knew she couldn't leave her in terror.
“What am I doing?” She asked herself, but she opened the door and saw Ana thrashing around in the bed.
“No, please leave. I don't…”
Leon sat on the bed and tried to shake Ana awake as gently as possible. “Ana? Ana? It's all right. You are safe.”
Ana's eyes pinged open and at first she shrank away from her in fear, but then as she gathered her wits and realised who the other person in the bed was, Ana threw her arms around Leon's neck. “Leo, it was horrible. Don't let him get me, please don't let him.”
She held Ana tightly in her arms and rocked her gently. “Shh…shh, you're safe. No one can get you here. I won't let anyone harm you, I promise.”
The words that Juliet said in her dream floated across her mind. “Someone else needs you now.”
She allowed herself to press her nose into Ana's sweet smelling hair and enjoy holding her. As she did she felt some of the darkness inside her be pushed out by Ana's light.
“I will protect you now.”
***
Leon was startled awake by the sound of the servants starting their morning work. She had spent the night in the armchair by the fire. Leon stretched out and yawned. She had slept surprisingly well in the chair considering, and had no nightmares for the first time in…well she couldn't remember when.
She looked over to the bed and smiled at the peaceful expression on Ana's face. It had taken a lot of reassurance to get her to close her eyes to sleep again. She had been so terrified about her dream of the figure who had been chasing her. Sharing their memories yesterday had a big impact on them both.
Leon leaned forward and rested her clasped hands under her chin, all the time continuing to gaze at Ana. Why had her recurring nightmare changed? Was Juliet really trying to tell her something or was it just a deep need inside herself for love and comfort?
To love another woman had always felt like a betrayal, and it was easy to never put herself in the position of feeling again, but Ana made her feel . She was beautiful, innocent and frightened of whatever she was running from, and Leon's natural instincts were to protect her, but with each passing day she was losing another piece of her heart.
Leon scrubbed her face with her hands and said, “I can't give my heart again. Not again.”
When she looked up she found Ana gazing at her silently. How much did she hear?
“Good morning, Ana.”
“Leo the lion, so brave and kind. Thank you for looking after me last night.”
“Not at all. I never want to see you distressed, Ana. I like you.”
Ana gave her a smile that made her chest ache. “I like you too, Leo.”
The new name that Ana had taken to calling her made whatever connection they had together seem fresh, new and different. Juliet had never called her anything like that. This was becoming a far too intimate conversation than she wanted. Get out, now .
Leon stood up abruptly. “I better leave. It wouldn't do your reputation any good if I were to be found in your bedroom at this hour.”
She headed for the door and Ana said, “Leo? Will we still go out our walk today?”
“Of course. I won't let you down.”
***
The day was mild but rainy, and Leon and Ana had taken refuge in the porch area of the boathouse. Leon was sitting on a bench beside Ana's wheelchair reading one of the books they had chosen.
Ana loved to hear Leon read to her. Her voice was strong, comforting, with a slight touch of a soft French accent somewhere in her English upper-class tones.
The rain splashed pleasingly onto the roof of the porch as she looked out onto the lake, and a sense of quiet calm brought ease to her body and mind. Although she didn't have her memories, she felt quite certain inside that this would have been one of her happiest ones. Leon read the words of the poem with gentle care, and looked up occasionally to meet her eyes or give her a smile.
Ana sighed as waves of butterflies fluttered and flew around her stomach. Leon was handsome, beautifully handsome was the only way she could only describe her. Her dark-blonde hair was carefully and neatly swept to the side, her features were strong and defined, and the wide clear green eyes that had looked haunted and lost had started to have flashes of warmth and effervescence spread through them.
To have gone through such trauma in her life and still be standing strong and alive was something that Ana greatly admired. As Leon started a new poem, by Lord Byron, she closed her eyes and let the sound of the rain and Leon's words lull her into peace.
“She walks in beauty, like the night
Of cloudless climes and starry skies;
And all that's best of dark and bright
Meet in her aspect and her eyes;
Thus mellowed to that tender light
Which heaven to gaudy day denies.
One shade the more, one ray the less,
Had half impaired the nameless grace
Which waves in every raven tress,
Or softly lightens o'er her face;
Where thoughts serenely sweet express,
How pure, how dear their dwelling-place.”
Ana opened her eyes and found Leon reciting the poem from memory and regarding her with steady eyes. Her heart thudded in recognition of her regard and felt a heat smoulder in her body.
“And on that cheek, and o'er that brow,
So soft, so calm, yet eloquent,
The smiles that win, the tints that glow,
But tell of days in goodness spent,
A mind at peace with all below,
A heart whose love is innocent!”
When the poem ended they both said nothing for a minute or so and were danger of becoming lost in each other. Then Leon said, “What are you thinking?”
“I was thinking what a wonderful girl Juliet must have been to win your love.”
Leon leaned forward and put down the book. “Yes, yes she was, but I was the lucky one.”
“What was she like? Was I anything like her?”
“No, you're not.”
Ana's head dropped in disappointment, and Leon clearly noticed. “I mean, you are both good-hearted girls, but Juliet was worldlier, whereas you are quite innocent.”
She thinks you are a child. “Who knows what I am really. Once I get my memories back , I could be quite different. I'm not a child.”
“I doubt you would be much changed, and being innocent is not an insult, it's quite the opposite.”
“What age are you, Leo?”
“Twenty seven. Ancient compared to you.”
Ana smiled. “You don't look old and you're not ancient. Do you think I could try using the crutches and practice walking?”
Leon closed the book and stood. “Of course if you'd like to try.” They brought the crutches in the hopes that Ana would feel strong enough to use them. Leon brought them over and handed Ana one while she rested the other against the side of the chair. “Now, you push down against the crutch and I'll support you on the other side. Don't put any weight on your knee.”
“Okay.” Ana pushed down and groaned with pain straight away. She hadn't expected the intense pain on her ribs.
“Are you all right? Where are you sore?”
“It's my ribs, I thought they were getting much better.” Anna said with frustration.
“They are, but it's a big strain on them, holding up your body weight.”
Ana shivered when Leon caressed her cheek and said, “Are you sure you want to try this today?”
She was determined to try. It would cause pain whenever she started. “Yes, I'm sure. It would feel like I had accomplished something.”
“Then don't push down. I'll lift you and you can conserve you energy for walking.”
Once Ana was up on her feet, she took the crutches and attempted to walk. Leon surprised her by standing in front with her hands grasping her waist.
“Okay now just take it slowly and know that if you stumble I'll catch you. I promise.”
Even if she had no injuries, Ana's legs would still feel wobbly, reacting to Leon's touch. Everything about Leon made her want more. More of her touch, more of her smile, more of everything.
She took one tentative step, and wobbled, but Leon tightened her grip. “That's good. Keep going, I've got a good hold on you. Look into my eyes.”
That was something she could do without a problem, and she did. Every step was hard but following Leon's strong, steady gaze, she got over to the other chair without too many problems. When they stopped, Leon smiled and slipped her hands further around her waist.
“You did it, Ana. I'm so proud of you.”
Leon's lips parted and her breathing became rapid. The beat of Ana's own heart matched Leon's breathing. Something was happening, there was some kind of energy pulling them together. As Leon's lips got to hers, she pulled back, kissed her on the cheek, and the moment was gone.
“Well done, Ana. I think it's time to get you back up to the house.”
Ana didn't have the first idea how this all worked, but she knew Leon was going to kiss her, and something stopped her. She was sure that something was Juliet.
Leon got her settled back in the wheelchair but neither said a word. Ana felt a sense of depression and hurt. How could she ever expect to compete with Juliet? The love of Leon's life.
“Yes, take me back to my room please,” Ana said in a shy, hurt voice.
***
Leon berated herself for nearly kissing Ana. She had no idea why this girl was making her lose control of herself and actually care. Care was too soft a word for what she was feeling inside. Her heart had been a painful open wound and now she could feel it start to heal and pump with fresh, new blood and vitality whenever she was in Ana's company.
A big part of her didn't want to get better. She wanted to keep her pain alive and therefore keep Juliet alive. Letting go of her pain was terrifying, and so the rest of the week she kept her emotional distance as much as possible when they went out for a walk, and a few days she had managed to bail out of her commitment altogether and let Beth tend to Ana. She had seen the hurt on Ana's face when she was distant or said she couldn't go with her that day, and it made her feel terrible.
Today she had made the excuse of having letters to write. What a joke that was, she had no one to write to, and her family didn't even know she was in the country.
Leon lit a cigarette and looked out of her bedroom window. Down in the garden were Beth, nanny Winnie and Ana. Nanny was walking a pram with one of the babies, and Beth sat on the bench rocking the other baby in her arms while Ana read from one of their books.
Beth pointed to a footman heading their way with her crutches. It was the same footman who had been so eager to carry Ana downstairs.
He helped her up and slipped his hands around her waist, just as she had done. She remembered how those curves felt in her hands, and the effect it had on her body. In that instant her stomach tied itself into knots of jealousy. He should not be doing that, I should.
Her cigarette was stubbed out in the ashtray furiously. There was no hiding place from this, she was jealous, and hated the thought of another person touching Ana. She took a breath and tried to pull the cloak of cold indifference back over her heart.
She quickly pulled out her wallet and her picture of Juliet. “Why did you tell me to care and protect her, mon ange? I can't feel this. I don't want to feel this . ” And yet you do. There's room in your heart to love again. A little voice inside her said.
Leon's thoughts were interrupted by Foster the butler at her bedroom door. “Excuse me, m'lady. Lord Dalton asks if you could join her in her study?”
She hastily put away the picture and wallet, and pulled herself together. “Of course, Foster. I'll come right away.”
***
Alex read and re-read the notes she had made. She had received a telephone call from her solicitor regarding the Sternburgs, but it didn't make good reading.
When Leon arrived she walked over to her decanters and looked at her watch. “The sun's well over the yard arm. Drink?”
“Please.” Leon took a seat and said, “Have you had some news of Ana?”
Alex carried the crystal whiskey glasses over, gave one to Leon and took her own seat. “Yes, I thought it best to tell you in private first.”
“Good God, is it that bad?”
Alex sighed and tapped her fingernails on the crystal glass. “I don't have all the details yet, but…no it doesn't look too good.”
“Tell me.”
“My solicitor made enquiries and found that the Sternburg toy company did indeed belong to Ana's father and grandfather. It had been the family business for more than fifty years.”
“What happened? During the war?”
“Her father and grandfather must have been very astute politically. They sold the company in 1937 and fled to France, foreseeing trouble ahead. They settled in the town of Vichy, but during the nazi occupation their troubles resurfaced. Jewish families were rounded up and sent to concentration camps.”
Leon popped open her cigarette case and lit one quickly. She had a bad feeling this story was going to be a difficult one. “What happened then?”
The Resistance hid and assured them they could get them on one of the last refugee boats heading for Britain. As far as my solicitor can tell, their material assets and shares were transferred to a bank of England account in 1937 when they left Germany, so that their money would be safe and waiting for them if they could get here.”
Leon sat forward in her chair and tapped her ash into the ash tray. “Sounds like the Sternburgs were well prepared, but in Ana's dream, only she and her grandfather got on the train which would take them to the boat I presume.”
“Yes, but her mother, father and extended family never got here. All the refugees had to be sponsored by a British citizen and Sternburgs was a…”
Alex lifted up her notepad. “…A Mr Percival Upperton. Mr Upperton was a business associate of the Sternburgs, he imported toys to various department stores, but the records show he only signed for two people off of the boat that arrived. Ana and her grandfather.”
Leon held her hand to her head. “God no. Where were they taken?”
“Eventually they arrived at Auschwitz.”
She closed her eyes and shook her head. It went without saying what happened then. How could she even go about explaining this to Ana?
“And her grandfather?”
“Death records show he died when Ana was fifteen.”
“So what about this Upperton character? I presume he will know where Ana has been all this time?”
Alex sipped her drink and sat back in her seat. “That's where everything gets fuzzy. My man contacted his lawyer and he described him as, evasive, nervous and unhelpful. He was also very keen to find out Ana's location. He implied that Mr Upperton would be monetarily grateful if my solicitor could give him that information, but he would not give any information about the Sternburg fortune.”
Leon felt immediate anger start to simmer. She stood up and said, angrily, “What's his address? I will find out what has happened to the Sternburg money, if there's any left. Ana needs her legacy.”
Alex got up quickly, rounded the desk and grasped Leon by the shoulders. “No, that's not the way to play this, old man. We can't give them any links back to here.”
“This Upperton is sounding more and more like the dark figure in Ana's dreams, and if he is, he's done some unspeakable things to her.” Leon felt all her frustrations with her new feelings and poured them into this spectre who hung over Ana.
“Calm yourself. Take a breath.”
“I'm sorry. I…care about her.”
“I know that. It's plain to see, but we need to be cautious. I think the solicitor needs a more robust method of persuasion certainly, but not by you or me, because they could find out where Ana is. I'll call Tommy, you can trust him to get the answers we need. I have a feeling the Sternburg fortune is entwined in this whole mystery.
“She's so scared of where she's come from and what happened to her family, can we keep the information about her mother and father to ourselves for the moment? She's too fragile.”
Alex sighed. “I can't advise keeping secrets from someone you care about, after what I've just been through.”
“At least until Tommy's been to see the solicitor, and we know more.”
“If you insist. As I said before, you are in command.”
“Thank you, Alex. I appreciate it.”
***
“So what do you think, Ana?” Beth said. “Would you like to come to London?”
Nanny Winnie and Laura went ahead with the children, while William and Beth wheeled Ana into the front entrance and up to the staircase. Beth was so kind and considerate, in fact everyone here was. They didn't know her or owe any loyalty to her and she, Leon Alex and their friends were all exceptionally kind.
Beth had explained that her friend Jo was designing a dress for Laura, her ladies' maid, as a wedding present, and that they were all going down to London for the fitting and make a day of it.
“I would just get in the way, Beth. I can't walk and…”
Beth knelt down by the side of the chair and took Ana's hand. “Of course you won't. Between Lotty, Laura and myself we can whirl you around town without a problem, besides you've been through so much, it would do you the power of good to have a change of scene. Say you'll come?”
Ana was nervous about leaving the safe bubble of Dencotte, but she didn't want to offend Beth by refusing. “If you think it won't be too much trouble.”
“Of course it won't. It's not till next week and you're getting stronger every day, Ana. We'll have a lovely time. Now, you look tired. Shall we get you upstairs for a lie down?”
“Yes, I think I'd like that.”
Beth stood and said to William, “Could you carry Miss Ana upstairs, William?”
“Yes my lady.”
This part always made Ana feel rather awkward, unless it was Leon carrying her. Then she loved it, but being lifted by anyone else made her feel helpless and somewhat of a burden.
As they made their way up the stairs to the first landing, Leon came bounding down towards them. Ana smiled and her heart skipped when she saw her. She had seen so little of her in the past week, and had missed her so very much.
William stopped at the landing and Ana said, “Leo? I haven't seen you…would you come and sit with me for a while?”
Leon looked disturbed and somewhat angry. Her eyes travelled over William and her, and as she did the grip on her fedora hat got tighter and her jaw held stiffly.
“I can't devote all my time to your amusement. I do have other demands on my time.”
Ana felt her heart crumble and tears spill from her eyes. Leon saw the tears and immediately hurried down the stairs and out the front door.
***
Beth strode into Alex's office and shut the door.
“Sweetheart? What's wrong? You look worried?” Alex asked.
“Is there something wrong with Leon? She met Ana on the stairs and totally dismissed her. The poor girl was in tears.”
Alex shut her ledger book and sighed, before going to sit on the edge of the desk. “Leon's had troubling news, Beth. She wouldn't mean to upset anyone, least of all Ana. She cares for her deeply I believe.”
Beth stepped into her partner's arms. “I suspected as much. Ana hangs onto her every word, that's why she was upset. What bad news did Leon get?”
“My solicitor telephoned with information on the Sternburgs . They did own the Sternburg Toy Company, but sold up and fled to France in 1937. From there details are sketchy, but Ana and her grandfather got to Britain. The rest of her family were captured and killed in Auschwitz .”
“Oh my God!” Beth clasped her hand to her mouth in shock.
Alex pulled her into her arms and held her tightly. “I'm afraid so.”
“What or who was she running from then?”
The lawyer who manages the Sternburg estate was extremely cagey about discussing it, but I've asked Tommy and his boys to try and rattle the information out of him. We'll know more soon.”
“She's quite alone in the world. It's so sad.” Beth rested her head on Alex's chest. “Is Leon going to tell her?”
“No, she wants to keep it to ourselves for a while. She thinks Ana is too fragile, and before you say it, I did counsel her against it. Leon's head must be all over the place, especially when she's in such bad shape herself. She's riddled with guilt. Guilt for not being able to keep Juliet safe, guilt for surviving when the others didn't, and deep, deep guilt for feeling love start to creep into her heart. I don't blame her.”
“Why?” Alex cupped Beth's face tenderly and kissed her lips.
“If God forbid anything happened to you, I know I could never love again. You were the only one who could melt my heart.”
“Perhaps, but everyone is not the same. She was so young when she lost Juliet, maybe she was meant to meet Ana. In any case you need to go and find Leon, get her to talk. Do you have any idea where she could be?”
“I think she'll be trying to find answers at the bottom of a glass bottle, just like I did. I'll go and collect Poni, find her and get her to talk.”
“I'll cancel supper, and have a tray in the drawing room.”
“You are the kindest and most thoughtful woman in the world. Lady Beth.”
“I just want every one of my friends as happy and content as I am. Let's go and see the children before you leave.”
***
Poni was waiting for Alex by the front door when she pulled up outside Romsford Hall. She jumped in and Alex said, “Sorry to take you away from Lotty and Kitten for the evening.”
“It's no trouble. Lotty was exceedingly pleased to have the evening to herself with a good book, which if I thought about too deeply wouldn't be much of a compliment to me.”
Alex sniggered as she pulled off. “Stuff and nonsense, old man. You know full well she adores you.”
“I am quite adorable it's true, but that doesn't escape the fact that sometimes she would like a break from me.”
“Quite.” Alex started to drive away.
“So? What's happening with Leon?”
Alex filled in Poni with what her solicitor found about Ana. “Poor girl. What a dreadful thing to find out. It's no wonder she is finding it hard to get her memories back. How has she taken it?”
Alex shifted uncomfortably in her seat. “We haven't told her yet, at Leon's request. She believes she is too fragile at the moment to take it in, and I did promise that Leon is in command of this situation.”
“Hmm…that's a tricky one. It could come back to bite her.”
“I know. I did try to tell her…anyway that's not her only problem.”
Poni turned around in her seat. “Oh? What else?”
“The same problem that I'm guessing has taken her to the pub to drown her sorrows. She's falling in love with Ana.”
***
Beth enjoyed a quiet light supper by the fire with Bertie, before deciding to have an early night. She would be up throughout the night feeding the babies, so any extra sleep was always a bonus. Just as she mounted the stairs, Mrs Mckluskey, Laura and Ella came down.
“How is Ana settling tonight, Mrs Mckluskey?”
“She's gone into herself again, m'lady. Not a word or a bit of food has passed her lips. I can't understand it, she was doing very well, and quite cheery.”
Beth knew precisely what was wrong and who had caused it, but she didn't want to cause either Leon or Ana embarrassment by mentioning it.
“I think I'll sit and read with her a bit. Could you send some hot chocolate and toast up for us, Mrs Mckluskey?”
“Of course, m'lady.”
Laura waited while Mrs Mckluskey and Ella moved away. “I'll set out your night things, m'lady. Just ring for me when you're ready for bed.”
Beth put a hand on her servant's shoulder. “Thank you, Laura. Oh, could you tell Thomas, Lord Dalton won't need him tonight. She may be quite late.”
“Yes, m'lady. He'll have no excuses but to talk wedding plans.”
Beth chuckled. “I'm sure he can't wait. Come on Bertie, let's cheer up Ana.”
She walked up to Ana's bedroom and Bertie trotted happily after her. Beth knocked and received no reply, so she opened the door slightly and said, “Ana? It's Beth. Can I come in?”
Ana was lying in bed hugging her pillow. She nodded and Beth walked in. Bertie immediately jumped up on the bed and licked Ana's face and she smiled.
“I'm sorry, Ana. He always tries to cheer people up.”
“It's okay. I like him, he's very sweet.” Ana patted him and stroked his ears until he settled on the bed in the curve of her body, enjoying the attention that Ana was giving him.
Beth sat in the chair beside the bed. “I heard you didn't want to eat dinner, so I've ordered some hot chocolate and toast to be sent up.”
“Thank you, Beth. I'm sorry to be so much trouble.”
“Not at all. I thought we could have a little chat. Alex has gone out for the evening, so it's just you and me.”
Ana was silent for a moment or two and said, “I hope Leon is all right.”
“I'm sure she'll be fine. Alex thought she would be headed to the pub, so she and Poni are going to keep her company.”
Ana lowered her eyes to Bertie and stroked his long ears. “I'm glad she has someone she wants to talk to.”
“She didn't mean what she said, Ana. She just has so many emotions going through her head at the moment. It's difficult for her to process her new feelings of friendship with you, while feeling the pain of the past.”
“I don't mean to take up her time. She doesn't need to…”
Beth leaned forward and gently stroked Ana's hair. “She feels responsible for you, and believe me when I say she cares about you.”
“When she came down the stairs, and saw William carrying me, she had this look of rage. I don't understand what I did wrong. I would never want to hurt her or make her angry, I feel so much for her, so much that I don't understand…” Ana stopped before she said too much.
“You are falling in love with her, but are confused because she is a woman?”
She simply nodded. They were interrupted by a knock at the door, signalling the hot chocolate and toast had arrived.
“I had the same confusion when I met Alex, Poni and Lotty. We'll have some supper and I'll tell you all about it. Hopeful it will make these new confusing feelings more clear.”
“Thank you, Beth.”
***
Alex and Poni were greeted kindly by the regulars, and made their way up to the bar, where Jacob the landlord was drying some glasses. “Lord Dalton and Master Woodward, what can I get you?”
“Have you seen a woman in here, blonde hair, dressed like us?”
“Indeed, she's up at the dart board in the corner, next to the booths. Been putting away a few jars as well.”
“What's she been drinking?” Poni asked.
“Pint and a whiskey, Master Woodward.”
Poni took out her wallet and said, “First rounds on me, Alex. Can we have three pints and double whiskeys sent to the booth by the dartboard Jacob?”
“Will do, take a seat and I'll send them over in a jiffy.”
As they walked over to the other side of the pub, Alex said, “This reminds me of our time we spent at Special Operation Command during the war. We'd all go to the pub, laugh, joke, have fun. You, me, Tommy and Rowe. Then everything changed. It was a good time, a simple time.”
“Do you think Rowe and Leon will ever get over what they lost?” Poni asked.
“I don't know, but Leon has one advantage over Rowe, a beautiful girl who adores her.”
“Ana?” Poni questioned.
Alex nodded as they approached the dartboard, “and Leon has fallen for her, and that's why she's in a pub drinking by herself. She terrified of loving again.”
They walked to the side of the dartboard and saw that Leon looked drawn and dishevelled. “Leon?”
She turned around sharply. “Alex? Poni? What are you doing here?”
“We thought we'd keep you company,” Poni said. “Our ladies are all settled at home so we thought a few pints with Leon would be just the job.”
Alex gave her a friendly smack on the shoulder “Indeed, and here come our drinks now.”
One of Jacob's young barmen brought over the tray of drinks and sat it on the table in the booth.
“Will you join us?” Alex asked.
Leon appeared reluctant but followed. After many drinks and varied conversation, Alex finally brought up the elephant in the room.
“Why are you running away from Ana, Leon?”
Leon swallowed her whiskey and slammed the glass on the table. She was well on her way to getting drunk.
“What are you talking about?”
“I know you've been distancing yourself from her, and had words on the stairs,” Alex said.
“I don't know what you're talking about. Same again?” Leon moved to get up to get another round but Alex stopped her.
“Stop running away, Leon. You have to face the fact that you have feelings for her.”
“You seem to know an awful lot, Alex,” Leon said angrily.
Poni smiled and patted her on the back. “Calm down, old man. We're just concerned because we care about you.”
“Yes, you need to stop beating yourself up for daring to love again. You're still young…”
Leon cut her off immediately. “And would you love again, Alex? If Beth was tragically killed? Or Lotty, Poni? What would you say then?”
Alex didn't know how to reply to that question. She knew that she couldn't but yet was advocating Leon do the opposite.
When neither she nor Poni replied, Leon stood and said, “You can't say you would can you? I didn't think so. I appreciate your concern, but I don't want to talk about this anymore.”
Alex watched her walk off to the bar to buy another round. Leon was right, but the fact remained that she cared about Ana, and Alex had no idea how to advise her without sounding hypocritical.
One thing was for sure. It made her appreciate just how lucky she was. Back at Dencotte her wife was safe and happy, and her two children slept soundly in the nursery. Alex truly was blessed.
***
After dropping off Poni at Romsford Hall Alex and Leon pulled up in front of Dencotte. Alex switched off the engine and said, “I'm sorry for assuming what you should do, Leon. You're quite right, none of us knows what we would do in your position, and our love for Beth and Lotty is no less all-consuming than yours and Juliet's. You've made me realise what a charmed life I have, with Beth, Freddie and May safely tucked up in bed, waiting for me at home. I won't ever take that privilege for granted.”
Leon scrubbed her face trying to ease the fuzziness caused by the alcohol in her system. “No, I'm sorry for snapping at you in the pub. You do have a point. What I'm beginning to feel for Ana is different from what I felt for Juliet. Not better or worse, but different. What Juliet and I had was all wrapped up in our grand vision of freeing France from occupation. A shared cause and a noble vision you could say, and we never experienced having a normal everyday life together. Juliet was strong, independent, and would just as soon pick up a rifle and shoot as I would.”
“And Ana? What way is she different?”
“Ana is innocent and has such a shining goodness, it's filling up all the dark places inside of me.”
“Maybe you were meant to meet her at this point in your life. When I met Beth…”
Leon saw Alex shift uncomfortably in her seat. “Only Poni and Lotty know this, Leon, but when I met Beth I was so low that I eventually…I would probably have drunk myself to death. The only things worthwhile in my life were my two friends, Kitten and the foundation. What I told Rowe was true, her pain and the other things I had to do during the war, the people I killed, all lived inside here.” Alex tapped her head.
“Poni had Lotty, but all I had was alcohol and nameless sex. It made my soul very dark, and one day Lotty brought this bright young girl into my office and she soothed me. That was one of the reasons I was so terrified of Rowe turning her against me, because without her I would be lost.”
It was out of character to hear someone as strong and in control as Alex to admit to feeling so emotional, and she appreciated the candidness.
Leon recognised everything Alex said, but couldn't admit just how frightened she felt about letting go of her past. Frightened if she kissed Ana that she would mend her broken heart.
“No two people are the same, and I can't say there is a right or wrong way to handle your grief, but when you think about Ana, what is the first thing your heart tells you?”
Leon didn't hesitate. “She needs me, and I feel a deep need to take care of her.”
Alex took the keys out of the ignition and said, “You have all your answers inside of you, it's up to you to decide whether to follow them. That's the only advice I can give you, old chap. Let's get inside.”
When they both got out, Leon said, “If you don't mind I'll stay out and have a smoke and some fresh air for a while.”
“Of course. Good night.”
When Alex went in the house, Leon lit up a cigarette and leaned against the car. She hoped the cool evening air would counteract the effect of the alcohol on her heart and mind. Her emotions were so much harder to keep in check when drink had loosened the already weakened shackles on her heart.
She looked up to Ana's bedroom window and felt her heart jolt when her eyes were met by Ana's looking down on her. Without thinking she smiled and waved to her. Her heart melted when Ana gave her a shy smile and looked down.
What is she doing up at one in the morning and standing? She felt compelled to go and check on her, so she stubbed out her cigarette and went inside.
***
Leon didn't really think too hard about what she was doing. As soon as she saw Ana's face at the window she wanted to go and apologise to her, and find out why she was up on her feet.
She knocked on the door, opened it a crack, and saw Ana struggling back to the bed with her crutches. Bertie the beagle was sitting on her bed watching Ana worriedly.
Leon rushed to her side and helped her to sit on the bed. Ana groaned in pain and began to rub her knee.
“Why are you using these without someone being with you, Ana? You know what the doctor says.”
Ana sighed. “I had a nightmare and couldn't sleep. Then I heard a car and thought it might be you.”
Leon cupped Ana's cheek gently. “Please, don't do that again. The last thing we need is to set your recovery back.”
“I won't, I started to panic when I was at the window. I had no idea how I was going to get back.”
“Well I'm here now. I will take care of you.”
Ana looked at her questioningly. “Will you?”
It was such an innocent question but the answer would say so much. “Yes I will.”
She eased Ana back onto the bed and knelt by her side. Bertie lay down by her feet and got comfortable. “I see you've gained a new friend?”
“Yes he came in with Beth earlier and didn't want to leave my side. Beth says he likes to comfort people who are distressed.”
Leon was hit again with a deep since of guilt at the way she had behaved earlier. She was not only responsible for Ana's physical pain but also her mental pain.
She took Ana's hand. “Ana, I apologise for my behaviour earlier. I am always here for you, but I had a lot on my mind and I was...frustrated.”
Leon prayed Ana didn't ask why, she didn't want to lie or have to explain what she had found out about the Sternburgs as yet.
“No, Leo I'm sorry for taking up too much of your time.”
“You never could. Tell me what your nightmare was about?”
“I was in a house, and I heard heavy footsteps come down the hall. In the dream I knew it was the man that chased me, but I never got a picture in my mind of him.”
“It was definitely a man?” Leon asked.
“Yes. I was so scared when the footsteps stopped outside the door, and then I ran and hid in the wardrobe in the room. It felt that this had happened before. The doorknob started to turn and I woke up gasping and terrified. Leon had unconsciously begun stroking her arm. “Whatever happened in the past we will find out, but you have to remember that you are completely safe here. Everyone at Dencotte wants to keep you safe, and I more than anyone. Why don't you go back to sleep?”
“No, I'm too scared.”
“Would you permit me to hold you until you fell asleep?” Leon couldn't believe what she was saying, but she wanted it for herself just as much as it was to comfort Ana.
“I would like that.”
Leon took off her jacket and shoes, then lay behind Ana, and began to stroke her hair to soothe her.
She felt Ana's body relax and they both lay quietly enjoying the simple companionship.
Out of the blue Ana asked, “Where did you go tonight?”
“To the pub. I had a lot of old memories and hurts floating around in my head and heart, and I stupidly thought alcohol would help.”
Holding Ana in her arms felt wonderful, felt right. As she'd said to Alex her feelings for Ana felt different from Juliet, and holding Ana felt different. Her urge to hold her was a need that immediately made her feel guilty. Why should it be new, why should these feelings for Ana be new?
As Ana's breathing evened out, Leon ran her fingers over Ana's dark hair. It was beautiful like silk, with a gentle curl that bounced when she moved or especially when she laughed. She thought about the time when Alex and her team had come to their base in 1942. Ana would have been a little girl then. It hurt to think about how scared she must have been, how scared all their family must have been, persecuted and on the run.
“If only I could have been there for you, sweet girl.”
She, Juliet and her Maquis cell had helped families like the Sternburgs countless times, and Juliet had risked her life to save them just like the rest had. In fact one day when the war looked at its bleakest, Juliet had said to her, “If we don't stand up for these people, for France, for all of Europe then who will? I am prepared to die trying, mon couer, and I know you would too.”
Someone else needs you now. Leon had heard Juliet say in her dream, but she knew that she needed to love Ana just as much as she needed Leon.
She brought a handful of Ana's hair to her lips and kissed it softly, and thought for the first time, I love you, sweet girl.”
***
Alex slipped under the covers and spooned behind Beth. She had on a silver-coloured nightdress that Alex particularly liked. Its slight shoulder straps gave her an excellent view of Beth's elegant neck, and lace at the front which teasingly covered her ample breasts.
She got as close as possible and placed some tender kisses in the nape of her neck. Beth uttered a little moan in sleep and Alex's already simmering libido grew. Between the alcohol and talk about love and loss tonight, all Alex wanted was to have her wife. While tight to Beth's back she stroked her palm down her side, hip and grasped her buttock. She knew Beth loved this and even in her light sleep Beth moaned and pushed her backside back into her groin.
Her hand slipped under the mid-thigh hem of the silk and reached up to gently grasp Beth's breast, while her teeth and tongue bit and licked her ear and neck.
Beth's hips started to rock back into her, and Alex grasped her strap-on and pulled it free from her boxer shorts. She pumped it in her hand and Beth's hand reached back and tried to hold her short hair.
“Tell me,” Beth said simply.
This was their code. The code that Beth needed her Lord, not the sweet and loving Alex.
Alex growled then whispered in her ear, “I need to fuck you. Open your legs.”
Beth said nothing and did nothing, so Alex pulled up her night-dress, and smacked her hard enough on the buttocks to make Beth groan. “Do what you are told. Open up.”
Beth reached behind and sought Alex's hand and pushed it against her reddening cheek. “Again please.”
“You like being punished? You don't deserve sweet lovemaking, you like it rough.”
She smacked her again and said, “Open up and show me what's mine.”
Beth opened her legs to give Alex access. She was fully aware of what was going on but she loved to play this game of Alex taking her when she wanted to.
Alex rubbed her strap-on up and down Beth's sex and groaned when she realised how wet Beth was for her. “That's my bad girl. You're always ready for me.”
She slipped in her whole length and stilled for a moment savouring the feeling of being inside her wife. She grasped the back of Beth's hair and hip and began to thrust into in her. Long slow thrusts at first, enjoying each roll of her hips to its fullest. As she neared the precipice of her orgasm, Alex pulled Beth as tight to her as possible and came hard.
As she tried to get her breathing back under control Alex said, “I love you, I love you. Please don't ever leave me.”
“I'll try my very best to, my lord.”
Alex stayed inside Beth, needing to feel close to her. “It terrifies me to think of being in Leon's position. I feel bad for telling Leon she should love again when I know I couldn't.”
“Who's to say Ana isn't the one Leon is meant to spend her life with? I truly believe what's meant to happen will happen. Look at the combination of events that were needed to bring us together. It's fate.”
“Perhaps. I just hope that Leon can be happy, and has the strength to take it. She's been through hell. She deserves it.”
“Just as you do, my lord.” Beth reached back and ran her fingers through Alex's short hair.
Alex felt her need start to build again. She grasped Beth's breast and started to rock her hips slowly. “I need you again, Beth.”
“Take me, I'm yours, my lord,” Beth groaned.
***
Leon ran up the driveway to an old stone house, surrounded by an overgrown garden. She had no idea what she was doing there or where she was, but had an urgent, desperate need to get inside. The imposing front door creaked open and she stepped inside, the dusty house. Then she heard it, Ana screaming for help. She rushed upstairs and manically searched to find the room where Ana was being held.
When she finally found the right room, it was locked. Ana's shouts became louder and more frightened. “No! Please don't. Someone help me.”
“I'm here, Ana. Hold on.”
Leon slammed her body against the door but the door didn't move. She slammed repeatedly into the door becoming more and more desperate. “Ana! Hold on, hold on…”
Leon woke gasping for breath, and found Ana looking right back at her. Ana stroked her cheek trying to smooth her. “Calm down Leo. You're safe, you're here with me.”
I'm here with Ana. She's safe.
She threw her arms around Ana and pressed her face into the younger woman's hair. “Oh God, I was so scared, Ana. So scared.”
“Were you in the castle again? Were they hurting you?”
“No, it was worse. I…I…I was in a house, and you were screaming for me. Someone was hurting you and I couldn't find you. I looked everywhere.”
Ana rubbed Leon's back trying to calm her. “I'm here, Leo. I'm here.”
“I finally found where you were and I couldn't get through the door. He had you and I couldn't get to you, Ana.”
Leon pulled back and gazed into Ana's eyes. “You are here aren't you?”
“I am. I…”.
Acting on impulse, Leon leaned forward and placed a soft, tender kiss on Ana's lips. When she felt Ana stiffen she pulled back quickly. “I'm sorry…I shouldn't have done that.”
“It's all right, Leo.”
“No, it's not. You're young, vulnerable and I'm taking advantage of that because of...because of my needs and feelings.”
“Leo I have feelings too...”
Leon hushed her by placing a finger to her lips. “You're vulnerable, you have no memory. You could wake up tomorrow and remember a whole life away from me. You could have a husband for all I know.”
“I…couldn't have. The doctor said...well he said that wasn't possible.”
The meaning was clear and Leon started to feel a sense of panic. Each one of her excuses was being countered by Ana. “I'm 27 years old Ana,” She stuttered.
“Is it because of Juliet?”
Leon sighed. “It was, but...I'm not sure how to explain.”
“Tell me. I'll listen.”
“A few months before I came back to Britain. I…I was at rock bottom. I didn't want to live anymore. Every day I drank myself into oblivion, I hurt so much. I hurt for Juliet, but I also felt, I mean I still feel so guilty for surviving. I just wanted to die.”
Leon took a breath to calm the fear and shame of saying this out loud. She saw that Ana's eyes were filling up with tears as she felt and shared her emotion.
“I knew I had to do something. I didn't want to continue in the hell I'd been living in, but I felt guilty at giving up on life when Juliet had no choice like that, so I left it up to her.”
“How did you do that?”
Leon felt shame at what she was about to say, and closed her eyes. “I took my service revolver, put one bullet in the chamber, spun it…” The emotion that she had felt back then returned and hit her in the guts.
Ana wiped away a tear that rolled down Leon's face. “I'm listening, tell me, Leo.”
“And…and pulled the trigger.”
Ana's heart ached as she watched such a strong, stoic person like Leon convulse in tears. She pulled Leon to her and rubbed her back soothingly. “It's all right, Leo.”
Leon squeezed her tightly as if she were clinging to her for dear life. “I'm sorry, I'm sorry. I'm so ashamed.”
“Shh…shh...you were in pain, Leo.”
“No…I nearly took my life so cheaply, after all the lives…I'm so ashamed.”
Ana could feel Leon's pain pouring from her, and it hurt to think of her holding all that inside her for so long, and on her own. As she rocked Leon in her arms, a song floated across her consciousness, and just by instinct she started to sing.
Guten Abend, gute Nacht, Mit Rosen bedacht,
Lullaby and goodnight, with roses bedight
Mit Naglein besteckt, schlupf unter die Deck'
With lilies o'er spread is baby's wee bed
Morgen fruh, wenn Gott will, wirst du wieder geweckt
Lay thee down now and rest, may thy slumber be blessed
Morgen frueh, wenn Gott will, wirst du wieder geweckt
Lay thee down now and rest, may thy slumber be blessed
Guten Abend, gute Nacht, Von Englein bewacht
Lullaby and goodnight, thy mother's delight
Die zeigen im Traum, dir Christkindleins Baum
Bright angels beside my darling abide
Schlaf nun selig und suss, Schau im Traum's Paradies
They will guard thee at rest, thou shalt wake on my breast
Schlaf nun selig und suss, Schau im Traum's Paradies They will guard thee at rest, thou shalt wake on my breast
Ana stroked her fingers through Leon's short blonde hair, and her sobs started to slow and eventually even out into sleep. All she wanted to do was make Leon feel better. She had carried around such terrible grief and pain on her own for too long, but would she ever accept comfort from her and would she ever accept that someone so much younger than herself felt...what did she feel?
Of course she couldn't remember ever caring for anyone or being in love, but she was sure that love is what she felt now.
She kissed Leon's head softly and whispered, “Sleep well, lion.”
***
Leon awoke the next morning feeling lighter than she had since Juliet died. She had purged some of the deep-seated pain and guilt when she had broken down last night. Funny thing was that she hadn't felt scared or weak for showing her emotion, she had felt safe in Ana's arms, so safe that she had not let go.
This morning she had been so full of life that she left Ana sleeping and went down to Alex's gymnasium and worked off some of the excess energy she had inside.
She was finishing off a set of weights when Alex walked in looking surprised to see her here, and so early.
“Leon? You're up early.”
Leon smiled, “Yes, I had a lot of energy this morning.”
Alex raised a questioning eyebrow and walked to the bench where Leon was drying herself with a towel. “So I see. Well you can make up for how tired I feel. The children were up three times last night, and if Beth's up then so am I.”
“You're very lucky, Alex. To have children is something…something special,” Leon said.
Alex had the broadest smile she had seen and said, “I'm truly blessed, and thank God each day for them, and Beth. She was my one chance to change my life, and thankfully I took it.”
What Alex said had really resonated with Leon. If she let Ana go then she would give up her one chance to change her life.
“Sometimes you've just got to reach out and take it, haven't you?”
“Are we talking about Ana?”
“Yes.”
Alex patted the bench and they both sat. “You've been doing a lot of thinking then?”
Leon nodded. “Yes, I talked to her last night and…I told her things I'd never told anyone. She made me feel safe, and this morning I woke up actually looking forward to the day, planning for what comes next.”
Alex patted her on the shoulder. “I'm so happy to hear that. It is all about finding that safety in someone else.”
“I do have concerns though. She is very young and who knows what she'll feel when she gets her memory back.”
“Did you ever think that maybe she needs someone older? Someone older and wiser who will protect, care for her, and give her the confidence to be herself. Beth is a lot younger than me, and we complement each other perfectly. As for her memory, you can tell her what we've found out so far, it might help.”
Leon shook her head. Deep down she was terrified of what would happen when Ana found out the truth. She might leave and realise she didn't need her. “Not yet, Alex. Wait till we find out what Tommy and his boys tell us first.”
“If you wish. As I said, you're in charge.”
“Could I borrow one of your cars today? I'd like to take Ana out, but my two seater sports car isn't the best with a wheelchair.”
Alex smiled. “Of course. I'll have Alfie bring a car to the front of the house. I'll let you know if I hear news from Tommy.”
“Thanks, Alex.”
***
“Off you go and have a break, Nanny Winnie. We'll be fine from here.”
“Very good, madam.”
After Ana had eaten breakfast on a tray, Beth stopped by to take her along to the nursery to spend time with May and Freddie. Beth handed over the smaller May in her white and pink shawl.
“I'll give you little May, she's much less trouble than her big sister,” Beth said, handing the baby to her.
Ana laughed. They did seem to be very different physically and personality-wise from what she had seen. May looked up at her curiously and reached out for her finger. Everything about May was perfectly petite. Her nose, her lips and her little hands- if her mother was anything to go by then she would be a beautiful girl.
“She's so beautiful, Beth.”
Beth sat on the chair next to her holding and trying to placate the grizzling Freddie. “I think so, and so easy going. Not like this big baby.” Beth kissed Freddie's brow and allowed her finger to be sucked on.
“Freddie constantly demands attention not like little May. I think she's going to be full of fun and trouble as she grows up. Now I hear Leon came to see you last night? Did you two make up?”
Ana felt red heat come to her cheeks at the mention of Leon and her late night visit. “Yes, she was sorry for what happened on the stairs and we had a good talk about things.”
“I never said anything at the time, Ana but she looked jealous.”
Ana felt her cheeks burn even hotter and she looked down to May. “She says she has feelings…but she felt guilty about Juliet.”
“I thought as much. She's been through so much, Ana. If you have feelings for her too, you'll need to make allowances for her. She might take two steps forward and two steps back.”
“I don't know if I've ever loved anyone before but I'm sure that's what I feel and want to help ease her pain,” Ana said.
Beth had finally gotten Freddie to settle and got up to put her in the cot. “Let me give you some advice, Ana. Both Lotty and Lady Grace told me the same thing. Loving people like Alex, Poni or Leon isn't easy. You see the perfect combination of the masculine and feminine in her, but society doesn't. You will have to put up with a lot of prejudice, tutting and downright bad manners if you want to love her. Lotty and I are fairly well protected but even we find people unwilling to serve us because of who we love.” Beth approached her and stroked her hair. “Think carefully before you get any deeper. You've both been through too much to have anymore pain.”
There was a knock at the door, and Ana said, “That will be Leon. She said she wanted to take me out today.”
Beth smiled. “Wonderful. Come in, Leon.”
Leon opened the door and gave her the sweetest smile. “Good morning Beth. I thought I'd take Ana out for a drive today, if that's all right.”
“Of course, where are you off to?” Beth asked.
Leon swept her hand over her short dark-blonde hair in a bashful move that made a fluttering in Ana's stomach. She's so sweet, and handsome.
“Alex told me about a lovely hotel that looks out over a lake. I thought we'd go there, have some lunch and take a walk. A change of scene so to speak.”
“Oh yes,” Beth said. “Alex has taken me there quite a few times. The food is wonderful and the setting is so picturesque. You'll love it, Ana.”
Ana couldn't keep the smile off of her face. The idea of spending the day alone with Leon was both wonderful and exciting. “I know I will.”
***
“You can't see Mr Brampton without an appointment.”
Tommy put on his most charming smile to the Sternburg solicitor's silver-haired secretary. “Don't worry about it, sweetheart. Everyone always has time to talk to Tommy boy. Ain't that right, Tiny? ”
Tommy's huge bodyguard stepped up behind him. “That's right, boss.”
“You see?” He gave her a wink and moved right past her.
“No, please. Don't…” But the secretary's pleas fell on deaf ears as Tommy walked straight into the solicitor's office.
The rotund Mr Brampton stood up quickly. “What on earth…”
Tommy sat on the edge of the desk nonchalantly and said, “Take a seat, Guv.”
“I will not. You will kindly leave now or I will…”
The words died in his throat when he saw Tiny enter the office and close the door. Tommy folded his arms. “As I said, sit down, Brampton.”
This time he did as he was told. “What do you want?”
“A friendly little chat.” Tommy picked up a heavy, round, glass paperweight, and tossed it from one hand to another.
Tommy smiled inside when he observed a slight shake start in Brampton's hand. “I want to know everything you know about the Sternburg estate, and I want to know now!”
He slammed down the glass ball, full force onto the desk making Mr Brampton jump out of his skin.
***
Leon allowed herself to a quick glance to the side. Ana was looking out of the car window with a permanent smile on her face. She was taking in every new sight they passed with a kind of innocent curiosity. She supposed that everything was new for Ana since she had lost her memory. Again her stomach tightened like a knot at the thought of what might happen when she got her memory back. Maybe she would find people like her disgusting or unnatural, but nothing could mask the thudding in her chest every time she looked at Ana, especially when she was smiling, and the wind from the opened window was blowing her hair back.
“This countryside is lovely, Leo.”
“It certainly is. I've stayed in town for most of my life, so it's wonderful to me too.”
After a pleasant lunch, Leon wheeled her down to the lake. She parked the wheelchair by the park bench, and said, “Hold around my neck and I'll move you to the bench.”
Ana slipped her hands around Leon's neck while she helped her to her feet.They stood for a few moments, just gazing into each other's eyes, and Ana ran her fingers through the hair at the nape of Leon's neck.
The moment was ended by the shouts of some passing children, and Leon sat her down. “There you are.”
“It's so pretty here, Leo. Look there are swans, and ducks and…oh I wish we had brought some bread to feed them.”
Leon reached into her suit pocket and brought out a paper bag. “Your wish is my command, Miss Ana. I asked the waiter for some stale bread.”
Ana clapped her hands together excitedly, before pulling Leon down onto the seat. “You think of everything, Leo.”
Leon handed her the bag. It felt wonderful to put that smile on Ana's face, and she wanted more. “I thought you would like it. My mother always took us to feed the ducks in the park, and I remembered how much I enjoyed it.”
Ana opened the bag and started to throw the crumbs to the gathering ducks and geese. It was such a nice peaceful scene, and Leon felt utterly content watching her. She nudged herself closer to Ana and slipped her arm around her shoulders.
After a few minutes, Ana said, “Do you miss your mother, Leo? Miss your whole family?”
Leon wasn't expecting that question and it took her aback, but there was something about Ana that didn't allow her to be anything but honest. Perhaps it was her innocence rubbing off on her.
She took out and lit a cigarette before returning her arm around Ana's shoulder. “That's just one more thing I feel guilty about. My mother is a wonderful woman and I know I've hurt her deeply by staying away.”
“Why don't you go back?”
She took a puff of smoke and blew it out slowly trying to gather her thoughts, “I suppose I never went back because I'd have to talk about what happened, and I never wanted to do that until we started talking. I went back once, before I came here, but I just watched from across the street. I couldn't make myself take that last step.”
“Why, Leo?”
“It has been so long, I've changed to someone that I don't think my mother would even recognise, and I remembered the way she had looked at me, once I was rescued and lying in the hospital bed.”
Ana threw one of the larger pieces of bread further out to where the swans were swimming. “What way did she look at you?”
“She burst into tears when she first saw me and vowed to take care of me. As soon as I was physically able, I booked myself out of hospital and left her a letter explaining why I'd left.”
“I don't understand…if she wanted to help you feel better…”
“I didn't want to feel, Ana. I wanted to feel every inch of my pain.”
“To punish yourself?” Ana asked.
Leon nodded. How could Ana read her so well? “Yes. I didn't want to get better.”
Rather than probe any deeper, Ana said, “I wonder what my family are like? And I wonder if they are out there looking for me?”
“Nice people I'm sure, if you are anything to go by.” She carefully didn't answer the second question, although it didn't stop her from feeling terrible for concealing what they had found so far. “Do you think Alex's lawyer will find something soon?”
“Of course.” Leon said a little too stiffly.
Ana turned and examined her closely. “They haven't found something already have they?”
“No, of course not.” Liar .
“You would tell me if they did wouldn't you?”
“Of course I would.” She groaned internally at the bold face lie she had just told, and knew she would probably regret it, but she just couldn't stand to hurt her just yet.
She had to change the subject quickly. “Why don't I go and get some ice cream? Won't be long.”
***
It was late afternoon when Ana and Leon started to make their way back to Dencotte. After sharing ice cream Ana had practiced walking again, and was glad to be feeling more confident using the crutches.
The day had taken its toll on her though and she felt very tired. When she yawned, Leon said, “You're all tired out. You did really well today. That knee is getting stronger all the time.”
“It's feeling sore now, but I've done so much today.”
Leon smiled, “We'll soon have you back to Dencotte, and then you can have your medication and a rest.”
Ana loved what Leon had done for her today and didn't want her to think she wasn't grateful.
“It was the best day I've had. Thank you so much for taking me.”
“My pleasure. I'm glad you enjoyed it.” Leon reached for her hand and squeezed it. “I hope we can have lots more days and nights out.”
“I would like that, Leo. Very much so.”
Leon brought Ana's hand to her lips and kissed it before returning her hand to the wheel. “I'm glad.”
After a few moments Ana suddenly remembered about her London trip and that she hadn't told Leon. “I'm going to have an exciting day next week Leo. I forgot to tell you.”
“Oh?”
“Yes, Beth has invited me to go to London with her, Lotty and Laura to her dress fitting. I did say I didn't want to be a burden with my leg and everything, but she insisted. She said they were going to make a day of it.”
As she told her about it she observed Leon's jaw became tense and her grip on the steering wheel tightened. “Is everything all right, Leo?”
Leon put on the car's indicators and pulled into a lay-by. She swivelled around in her seat, and said, “Do you think it's a good idea to go? We have no idea what happened to you or who could be looking for you.”
“I hadn't really thought of that…I…”
“No, no I'm sorry.” Leon pinched the bridge of her nose in a gesture of frustration. “I shouldn't be pouring cold water on your plans. I just worry about you being out with my protection.”
“You worry about me?”
Leon smiled then cupped her hand to Ana's cheek, and gently stroked her thumb along her cheek bone. “Of course I do.”
When Leon edged closer, Ana's breathing started to increase and her heartbeat hastened, but she had to know one thing that had been bothering her.
“Are you doing all this, spending time with me, worrying about me because you feel guilty for hitting me?”
Leon shook her head slowly. “Not in the least. I mean, if I caused injury to anyone I would take care of my responsibilities and pay for their care, but you…you are so different.”
Ana licked her lips as Leon zeroed in on them. “Ana you have brought light to the darkness inside of me, and made me look forward to the future for the first time, and made me feel safe enough to talk about things I never could have before. I've been fighting my feelings from the first time I looked into your eyes.”
“And what about Juliet?”
“She's been telling me for a long time to move on, and I think she pushed you into my path. Do you…”
Acting on impulse Ana pulled her forward by her lapels and gave her a quick kiss.
The first proper feel of Leon's lips upon hers was overwhelming. Her body came alive with sensation and new feelings. Leon took control of the kiss and she relaxed into it. It was so soft and she loved the feel of Leon's tongue gently parting her lips.
Leon pulled back and rested her forehead against Ana's and said, “I'm going to take this slowly. I realise I'm so much older than you, and I promise that I will look after you, and take this cautiously. I can only pray when you get your memory back you won't look at me any differently.”
“How could I? You're Leo the brave lion, and you always will be to me.” She slipped her hands around Leon's neck, and whispered, “Kiss me again.”
Leon did kiss her again and they began to lose themselves in the kiss. Ana felt her body wanting and needing things she didn't think she had before, and then it happened. Leon ran her hands through her hair and grasped it softly with her fingers.
In that moment she was transported from the car, from Leon, and all she could see was the dark figure from her dreams grabbing her by the hair and pushing her up against a wall of a room.
Ana went rigid. “No, no please don't hurt me!”
Leon let go of Ana immediately. “I'm sorry Ana, I…I pushed you to far…please come back to me.”
She watched Ana push back against the car door to get away from her. Her breathing was frantic and she had terror in her eyes.
Leon felt a sense of shame roil in her stomach. Why had she kissed her so passionately- Ana was clearly not ready for it. “Ana, I'm so sorry. Please forgive me.”
In a matter of moments Ana held her hands to her face and started sobbing. Leon didn't want to touch her in case she frightened her all the more. “Ana, I never meant to frighten you. I promise that I'd never hurt you. Please forgive me?”
“It was him, it was him. I remembered something. You could never frighten me.”
Leon let out a breath and felt such a sense of relief. She pulled Ana into her arms, and kissed her brow. “Tell me what happened. You're safe here.”
“When you touched my hair, I saw his face coming towards me. He grabbed my hair tightly and pushed me up against the wall.”
“I should never have kissed you like that.”
“No, don't say that. It was wonderful, Leo. It's my memory that's ruining things. If only I could see the specialist the doctor recommended I could get rid of this amnesia and face whatever happened once and for all.”
“What specialist?” Leon asked.
The doctor suggested I could see a man in Harley Street. He specialises in helping people following traumatic events. I told him I don't have a penny to my name and it wasn't possible.”
“Why didn't you tell me there was someone who could help? I told you I would cover all of your medical expenses.”
“No Leo. A doctor on Harley Street would cost a fortune. You're already doing too much for me. Everyone is.”
“Give me his details and I'll make the appointment.”
“Leo…”
“No, it is my responsibility to get you better. There'll be no arguments.”
“Thank you, Leo. I don't know what to say.”
“You don't have to say or do anything you don't want to, but this is something you think might help, and we will do it. As long as you are prepared for what you will remember?”
“As long as you are with me, Leo. You will come won't you?”
“I wouldn't be anywhere else but by your side, beautiful.”
***
“Keep your head, Brampton, you old fool. If you want to make a cut of the Sternburg fortune then keep you cool.”
“You don't know what these men were like, Upperton. One of them was over seven foot tall, without one word of a lie.”
Percy looked at the phone receiver with disbelief. Had Brampton lost his mind?
“We need to find who sent these men, because they will lead us to Isana, and my money. Trace their names and I'll get my private detective onto it. Don't let me down.”
He slammed down the phone. “I'll find you, Isana, and when I do you will be sorry.”
***
A few days later Percy followed the directions he had been given to a pub in one of the seedier parts of Sheffield. He looked totally out of place and got some strange looks as he walked into the pub.
He went straight to the bar and tried not to make eye contact with the intimidating patrons.
The barman looked him up and down, but said nothing and continued wipe the glass in his hand with a grubby looking tea towel. Percy had to remind himself of what was at stake just to come here today, money and lots of it.
He waited for the barman to offer him a drink, but he simply stared at him. Eventually he had to take the initiative. “Excuse me, I was told I could find a Jack McGraw here?”
The barman continued staring him out, and ignoring him. Percy got his wallet and pulled out a few notes. “Will this help you remember?”
He looked at the notes for a few seconds then grabbed them from Percy's hand. Without speaking he pointed and then pointed to a table in the corner.
Percy made his way over to a large bearded man who was nursing a pint and a whiskey. “Jack McGraw?”
“Who wants to know?”
“I got your name from a private investigator who was getting some information for me. He says you can get a job done that perhaps others might find unpalatable.”
“I can be, but it costs.”
Percy took out a fat envelope and placed it in front of Jack. “I believe that is enough. I want someone who belongs to me, returned. ”
Jack lifted it and looked inside at the big wad of notes. “I'll need the details of where to find your target and what to do with it.”
“My private investigator found out everything you need.”
Jack indicated to the free chair and said, “Then sit and talk.”
***
Lotty and Poni had invited them all to dinner. Beth had been so happy to witness the growing closeness between Leon and Ana. In her opinion they were perfect for each other, and just what each other needed. Leon needed someone to take care of, someone whose needs were more important than her sadness, and Ana needed someone strong, and confident to make her feel protected, even more so when she learnt about the loss of her family.
Watching them together this evening had been like going back in time. Beth looked up to Lotty and shared a knowing smile. Leon had been fussing around Ana all night. Making sure she was comfortable, had enough to drink, and generally tripping over herself to keep Ana happy. Exactly like Alex had done the first time they dined at the Woodwards.
They had finished dessert some time ago and were enjoying some light conversation. Lotty dabbed her mouth with napkin and stood. “Shall we leave them to it ladies?”
Alex , Poni and Leon stood when they rose, and Ana looked unsure. “Ana, come with us and we can have a good gossip,” Beth said.
“I'd love to.”
Leon was immediately trying to help her up. “I'll escort you through in your wheelchair.”
Ana stopped her. “I'd like to try and walk with my crutches, Leo.”
“That's too far for you to go.” Leon tried to lift her into the chair.
“Stop fussing, Leo. I can do it myself.”
They all felt the tension and Lotty was around in a flash to say, “Leave it to us, Leon. We'll help her walk through. Won't we Beth?”
“Of course.” Beth hurried around and helped her up onto her feet and they both helped her walk slowly from the dining room, leaving Leon looking slightly forlorn behind them.
***
“Tell us everything Ana,” Lotty said. They settled in the drawing room and a footman brought them some after-dinner drinks. Bertie lay by the fire, luxuriating in the fierce heat.
Ana wasn't quite sure what Lotty meant, but both she and Beth were smiling mischievously.
“I don't quite know what you mean?”
Beth leaned over and squeezed her hand. “We mean what's happening between Leon and you. She seems to be following you around like a puppy since your day out together?”
Ana could feel her cheeks run red hot, and she looked down shyly. “We had a nice day, yes.”
“And? Tell us the juicy details. Is Leon ready to love again?” Lotty asked.
“I think so…I mean…I mean we both have feelings for each other, but Leo wants to take things slowly because she's a lot older than me.”
Lotty laughed softly. “Oh Beth, Leon's doing the whole noble, ‘I'm too old for you, so I shall court you like a noble knight until you're quite sure.' ”
Beth sighed happily. “Just like Alex.”
Ana sat forward in her seat with interest. “Alex is a lot older than you, Beth. Did you have any problems with that?”
“I didn't. Alex on the other hand took convincing that someone of her age, and way of life was what I wanted.”
Ana looked between them both more than a little confused. “Way of life?”
“Women loving women, and a very special type of women at that,” Lotty said.
“Oh…I…I know what you said before Beth about what other people would say, but I never really considered that my feelings for Leo were different from what women usually feel for men. When I look at Leo, I just see Leo, the person I'm falling in love with, I…can't explain…it doesn't feel different to or unnatural to me.”
“You're right, of course you are,” Lotty said. “But you're entering a different world. A world where those of us who aren't protected by money and titles, have to live a double life, and only being themselves at the weekends in private clubs and bars. It's not easy.”
“I can't remember what normal is for me, but I do know I would be prepared to go through anything to be with Leo. She's all the world to me.”
Beth and Lotty smiled at each other and Lotty said, “Then Leon is lucky indeed.”
***
Poni's butler Henry placed the Brandy decanter on the table while a footman offered each guest a cigar from a silver cigar box. Poni poured herself a drink and passed the bottle on to Alex.
“Will that be all master?” Henry asked Poni.
“Yes, we'll be fine. If you could just make sure the ladies are all right?” Poni said.
“Of course, master.”
Alex lit her cigar and passed the brandy onto Leon. She observed that Leon looked anxious. “Are you allright, old man?”
“I'm…I'm just worried that she was able to walk without difficulties. She says I fuss too much.”
Alex was just about to speak when Poni butted in, “Alex was just the same when she met Beth. Clucking around like an old hen.”
She gave Poni a disparaging look. “Why thank you for that, Poni. If you would have just let me finish I would have said that very same thing, apart from the hen part. Leon, I know what it's like to grieve. I lost my parents when I was young, and all I had was Poni and her family. When Beth came along and I was finally happy and looking forward to the future, I felt I had to protect her from everything and anything, so desperate was I not to feel that deep sadness again.”
Leon took a drink of her brandy and said, “Yes, that's how I feel. Ana is the shining light that's pulled the blackness from my heart and soul. I want to do everything to keep her from harm.”
“Even if It means not telling her about her family?” Alex said.
“You haven't told her yet, Leon?” Poni asked with surprise.
Leon ran a hand through her hair. “I'm just waiting for the right time.”
Alex tapped her cigar into the ash tray and sighed. “No time will be the right time. Please learn from my mistakes. I nearly lost Beth and my children because I kept information from Beth.”
“I know. I'm going to tell her next week when we go for her appointment in Harley Street. We're going straight after the wedding dress fitting, in fact I wanted to ask you a favour Alex,”
“Name it.”
“Could I have use of your London flat that night? Ana's going to be emotional and I'd rather not have her face the long drive back here.”
“Of course, take a few nights if you need some space on your own.”
“Thanks, Alex.”
Poni cleared her throat. “Alex, tell her what Tommy found out.”
Leon's head snapped up. “What did he find?”
“Well…with some gentle persuasion the Sternburg lawyer told him that this Percival Upperton is the executor of the Sternburg fortune. The money is held at the Bank of England. In what amount we don't know but it is held in trust until Ana is 21 or…”
“Or?” Leon repeated.
“She gets married.”
Leon sat back in her seat. “This Percival wants that money.”
“It seems a safe assumption,” Poni added.
Alex nodded in agreement. “Tommy has heard on the underworld grapevine that he's seriously in debt to money lenders, seems he has a gambling problem.”
Leon slapped her hand down hard on the table. “Bastard! He's hurt her in the past and he's not going to give up on his meal ticket easily. I don't think she should go to London with the ladies. It's not safe.”
“Listen, don't spoil her chance to bond with her new friends. She will have them and my driver Alfie, and you will be picking her up after lunch. She will be fine.”
Leon didn't look entirely convinced, but nodded. “If you think so, but he better pray he doesn't come near her.”
***
Beth, Lotty and Ana were in London for Laura's dress fitting. While Jo fitted the dress in the dressing room, the three ladies sat in a comfortable sitting room adjacent to it.
Ana was looking through some of Jo's design catalogues while they waited, and Lotty and Beth chatted and enjoyed the tea and cakes provided.
“These designs are beautiful,” Ana said. “So modern and fresh.”
Beth smiled. “Jo is very talented. We are so proud of how well she's done since she has gone out on her own.”
At the mention of her name, Jo walked out from the dressing room. “She's ready ladies.”
Beth clapped her hands together excitedly. “Come on out, Laura.”
The door opened and a bashful-looking Laura walked out. All three women gave a collective gasp. The dress had a lace bodice with ballerina length tulle skirt.
“You look beautiful, Laura.” Lotty said.
“Are you sure it suits me?” Laura asked.
Beth got up, walked over and took her hands. “You couldn't be more beautiful, Thomas is going to adore it.”
Jo fussed around the dress, pulling out the small train and fixing the veil to its best position.
Ana could only reiterate what her two friends had said, “Laura, it's wonderful.”
“Thank you, Miss Ana.”
Ana could only imagine the excitement that getting married would give you. She wondered if Leon would ever want to make that sort of commitment or if her experiences with Juliet would make her want to keep everything simple.
Laura looked at her reflection in the mirror and smiled. “I love it, Jo. I could never have imagined wearing such a dress.”
“This is my gift to you, and you are very welcome.” Jo kissed her on the cheek and turned to look at Ana. “Speaking of gifts. I have something for you.”
Ana had no idea what she meant. Jo left the room and Beth and Lotty gave each other conspiratorial smiles.
“What's going on?”
“Wait and see.” Lotty told her.
Jo came back into the room with a black dress on a hanger. “This Ana is a taffeta dress with blue sequins feather trim.”
She carried it over to Ana's wheel chair and laid it over her lap. The dress was stunning. “Jo I don't have the money…”
“Don't you worry about that.” Jo said. “It is already bought and paid for by Leon.”
Beth came over and knelt down beside her chair. “Leon wants to take you out tomorrow night, and make it something special. She had Lotty and I estimate your size and asked Jo if she could help.”
Jo nodded. “Luckily, I had a dress nearly complete for my off-the-peg line. Some small adjustments and it was made just for you.”
Ana couldn't believe it, and the tears started to roll down her cheeks. “I don't deserve such kindness.”
Beth put her arm around Ana and squeezed her tightly. “Of course you do, and Leon certainly thinks so. Let's go and try it on, you're going to have a wonderful night.”
***
Leon picked up Ana from the hotel where the ladies had lunch and received a big hug and kiss for her new dress. It thrilled Leon to bring such joy to Ana, and she wanted more.
As she drove them to Harley Street, Leon became progressively more nervous. What if she couldn't get her memory back and Ana was upset terribly? What if she did and it caused her feelings toward her to change? It was frightening, but she had to take the chance or Ana would never truly be happy.
One thing she had insured, and that was that Doctor Mandeville would not delve into Ana's childhood memories on this first visit. Leon felt it would be too much to learn all at once and probably was best coming from her at a later time, when Ana was more recovered. Luckily Doctor Mandeville agreed.
They arrived at the exclusive clinic on London's Harley Street, and Leon turned off the engine. She glimpsed to the side and saw Ana grip her clutch bag so tightly her fingers were white.
Leon covered Ana's hand with her own and said, “I know it's frightening, Ana, but I'm here with you. No one can hurt you.”
“Part of me doesn't want to know the truth, part of me just wants the life that I have now. You, my new friends…”
“You'll have us all regardless of what you remember, I promise. Now why don't we get this over with and get back to the Dalton's flat.”
Ana gripped her arm like a vice as they walked into the clinic, and Leon thanked God Doctor Mandeville was a kind, broad-minded man when they met him. It would have been all the more difficult if he had been hostile because of Leon.
It was the opposite in fact. “Make yourself comfortable my dear,” Doctor Mandeville said.
Ana glanced over to Leon, who nodded and tried to make her feel secure. She sat right back in her seat but gripped the arms of the leather padded chair hard.
Leon watched Doctor Mandeville work with interest. He carefully and gently lulled Ana into a relaxed state, before starting to ask some basic questions.
“Ana, I want you to go back to the day you had the car accident. I want you to concentrate and feel the scene unfold. What can you feel?”
Leon watched as Ana's whole body tensed up as the memory played like a film in her mind. “I feel pain. Pain all over my body and I feel scared.”
The guilt immediately hit Leon. Usually that feeling would make Leon reach for her hip flask of whiskey, but not now she had Ana. Now she had to be strong for someone else, and that need was something that was helping her heal with each passing day.
Doctor Mandeville wrote down a few notes and asked, “What do you see?”
“Leo, holding me, keeping me safe.” Leon saw a small smile on Ana's face as she remembered.
“Now Ana. I want you to go back. Back to before the car accident.”
“I can't. It's all foggy everywhere.” Ana struggled in her chair.
Doctor Mandeville sat forward in his chair, and said, “Walk through the fog, Ana. You're quite safe, I assure you.”
“I'm…I'm…” Ana struggled further in the chair.
“Where are you? Describe your surroundings.”
“I'm in a forest. It's dark…and I'm running.”
“What are you running from, Ana?” Doctor Mandeville asked.
“Percy... He wants me and he's going to hurt me.” Ana started to cry in panic.
Leon got up quickly and moved to go to Ana's aid, but was only stopped by the doctor holding out his hands.
“Lady Leon please. She is safe and needs to experience these emotions.”
Leon had to force herself to stop. She hated to see Ana in pain and it made her feel impotent. She walked over to the window and lit a cigarette, and tried to let the doctor do his work.
This Percy better hope I never get my hands on him.
***
After the appointment with the doctor. Leon took an emotional Ana back to the Dalton's flat. Ana had been silent since they drove home, so Leon started a fire and got them both a drink.
Ana snuggled into her chest and Leon kissed her forehead. “If you need to talk about what you remember then talk, but if you need silence I'll just hold you until you're ready.
Ana grasped onto her shirt front and snuggled further into the safety of Leon's warmth. All her memories were whizzing around her mind, trying to find their place. It was as if a light switch had been flipped in her head, bringing her out of the darkness into the light. She could remember Percy, the house in which they stayed, and her grandfather, but couldn't remember anything further back, not her family, her parents. Doctor Mandeville said they would explore her early years in their next session.
It was confusing, and scary but she felt a need to talk so that she wouldn't feel half as scared.
“When I first went to boarding school, all I wanted was the holidays so I could see my Grandpapa, but each time he was becoming more and more ill. Then one day I was called out of the classroom to see the headmistress. He had died and I was to return home.”
Leon held her tighter and kissed her brow. “I'm so sorry, sweet girl.”
Tears started to roll down Ana's cheeks. “Percy had always made me feel uncomfortable. The way he looked at me when he thought I didn't notice. When Grandpapa died everything changed. Percy cut off everyone from me. I wasn't allowed to go out with friends without him, so that he was the source from everything I needed.”
“I'm sorry you had to go through that, but you're safe now. I promise.”
The one thing that frightened her was what she would find out about her parents. Why was she alone in this country with her grandfather?
“What are you thinking?”
“About my parents, and why they weren't in my memories.” Ana felt Leon's body tense up.
“Is something wrong, Leo?”
Leon smiled. “Nothing at all. Another drink?”
“No thank you.” She could tell there was something bothering Leon so she decided to change the subject. “Thank you again for my new dress. It's beautiful.”
Leon's relaxed smile was back. “I hoped you would like it.”
“Like it? It's gorgeous. I can't wait to wear it for when you show me your world. Beth and Lotty say the Alley Cat is an exciting place, and Jo said we'd meet her girlfriend Billy there.”
“It hasn't been my world for a long, long time, Ana, but I'll be delighted to take you there.”
***
Jack McGraw slipped into the phone box across the street and dialled the numbered his contact gave him.
“Upperton.”
“I've followed her to London. She's isolated from the rest of her new friends. I'm ready to make my move.”
“I'll be at the prearranged location.”
Jack looked up at the window of the Daltons' flat and saw the strange woman who was with his target close the curtains. “When I get my chance, I'll grab her.”
***
Leon straightened her tie in the mirror above the fireplace and gulped down the last of her whiskey. She looked at her watch and it read half past six. They would have to hurry up if they were to make their dinner reservations at the Alley Cat.
She couldn't remember the last time she had taken a young lady out to dinner. When she was with Juliet, the most they would do together was go to the local pub. This was entirely different. She wanted it to be special and make Ana feel like a princess, and distract her from the emotionally charged day yesterday.
Earlier in the afternoon she had taken Ana to the hairdressers and yesterday Beth had made sure she had all the extras she would need for her night out.
“Leo? Can you help me now?” She had left Ana to get dressed as much as she could on her own, not wanting make her feel uncomfortable, but she was always going to need help at some point.
She walked into the bedroom and felt a heavy thud in her chest. Ana was sitting on the edge of the bed, and despite the fact that her dress was still open at the back, she looked stunning.
“You are absolutely beautiful, Ana. I can't believe you will be on my arm this evening.”
Ana looked down bashfully. “I don't think so with this knee and my crutches.”
Leon knelt down in front of her and took her hand. “You listen to me. You could be in a full body cast and you'd still be the most beautiful girl in the room.”
Ana smiled sweetly. “I'm not sure about that.”
“Well I am, so let's go and wow the Alley Cat club.”
***
Billy met them at the door and escorted them to their table. Ana felt a little self-conscious about walking in with the aid of her crutches, but with Billy and Leon's support she managed to walk the distance to the table, and was at least thankful she wasn't in her wheelchair.
Billy had a table and chilled champagne waiting on them. “Have a look at the menu and I'll send someone over to take your order, Leon. The champagne is on me. Have a wonderful night.”
“Thank you, Billy. I appreciate it.”
When Billy left Ana said, “its wonderful here, Leo.”
The club was packed with patrons on a Saturday night and there was a singer on the main stage creating a romantic atmosphere.
Leon took her hand across the table. “I'm glad you think so. I want you to have a wonderful time.”
Ana sighed with contentment. Could anything be better than being here with Leon? She didn't know much, but she knew she was in love with Leon. It made no difference that she was a woman. She was a different kind of woman who made her body come alive and no one had done that to her before.
Percy's inappropriate attentions to her always made her feel bad about her body as she matured, but Leon made her needs and wants feel natural and exciting.
They both enjoyed a wonderful dinner and the romantic atmosphere grew stronger and stronger.
Leon gazed at her with such love in her eyes that she truly began to believe that someone much older and more sophisticated could really desire her.
“You are simply beautiful, Ana. I want to take you in my arms and kiss you until we lose ourselves in each other.” Leon lifted her hand and kissed it.
Ana blushed. Not at the thought of kissing Leon but at the images she was creating in her head.
“Why are you blushing , sweet girl?”
“I…I'm thinking about where I want you to kiss me.”
“Oh yes?” Leon said in a low deep voice. She moved her chair closer to her and tenderly caressed her cheek.
Ana closed her eyes and giggled thinking of Leon kissing her way down her body. “I can't say that here.” She watched Leon's eyes zero in on her cleavage.
“I know where I'd like to start.”
Ana's heart pounded and her breath shortened. “I'd like that, Leo.”
Her lips parted as Leon leaned in until she was inches from her lips and whispered, “I love you, Ana Sternburg.”
***
At Dencotte Alex was in her study writing letters of thanks to donors to the foundation. Beth had already gone upstairs to feed Freddie and May, and Alex couldn't wait to join her.
Just as she thought about her wife, Beth knocked and walked into the room. “Sweetheart? You didn't need to come downstairs, I won't be long.”
Beth tightened the tie of her black silk gown, and walked around the desk to sit on her knee. “I missed you.”
Alex wrapped her arms around Beth and gave her a quick kiss. “Well that's a good reason. Are Freddie and little May settled?”
“Perfectly. I wonder how Leon and Ana are getting on?” Beth said.
“I'm sure they are loving the Alley Cat. Billy said she would do her best to make it a special night for them.”
Beth giggled and stroked her fingernail down Alex's cheek. “Do you remember our first night at the Alley Cat?”
Alex laughed out loud. “It's emblazoned on my mind. You were more than a little tipsy.”
“Maybe just a little. Well…maybe a lot. I tried, unsuccessfully to seduce you.”
Alex felt a familiar steady beat start inside of her at the memory. “Oh believe me, you succeeded. We just didn't follow through.”
Beth leaned in and placed soft kisses around Alex's mouth and unbuttoned her shirt buttons and tie, teasing her. “Do you remember what you said to me?”
Beth wants to play. Alex groaned inside but outside her aura of calm authority remained. “Remind me?”
Beth stood, put on her best innocent look, which wasn't hard, and untied her silk dressing gown. She let it drop to reveal the same black underwear she had worn after their night out at the Alley Cat. Matching bra, panties, stockings and suspender belt.
That night Beth had teased her until she was literally shaking from holding herself back, this time there would be nothing holding them back.
In a replay of that night Beth said demurely, “Do you like the lingerie you bought me, my lord?”
Beth was so good at being Little Miss Innocent that it took everything in her power to uphold her nonchalant act and not take her right away.
“They are beautiful, Little Bit, but I don't think you should be standing in front of me like this.”
Beth straddled her lap and began to kiss her jaw and neck while her hands slipped inside her shirt.
“What are you up too? You know we shouldn't be doing this.”
If her wife had planned this little game then she was eternally grateful. Her innocent wife playing the seductress was beyond exciting.
“I want you, I want to feel you all over my body, and inside me.”
Alex ran her hands over Beth's soft curves and grasped her wrists with one hand behind her back. “If you're ready, ask me as a woman would, not a girl.”
Beth pretended to be unsure, “I…I'm not…”
“Ask me to fuck you, fuck you till you come, and I'll do it. Ask me like a woman would.”
Unlike the first time this scene happened, Beth gave her a sexy smile and said, “Fuck me, my lord, fuck me till I come.”
Alex growled and lifted Beth up and onto the desk in one movement, and pushed her hand past the silky panties and into the wet warmth that awaited her.
Beth moaned. “Oh God.”
***
Leon and Ana were swaying together on the dance floor. Leon assured Ana that she could support her enough on her feet to enjoy at least one dance. Ana felt so safe and happy in the cocoon of Leon's protective arms.
“Thank you for tonight, Leo. It's been like a dream.”
Leon kissed her head and helped her back to her seat as the music ended. “We'll have lots more nights like this, I can assure you.”
Ana's leg was hurting but it was worth it. Leon sat her down, just as the waiter brought them cocktails, courtesy of Billy.
“Maybe we could come here next week after my appointment with Doctor Mandeville?”
A strange and serious look flashed across Leon's face. “We'll see. Anyway drink up, I think you'll like this cocktail, it's…”
“Wait. What happened there?”
“What do you mean?”
“When I asked about next week, you tensed up, and looked…well worried. Did Doctor Mandeville say something to you? Did I say something about my parents when I was under that I don't know about?”
The nervous look on Leon's face returned when she mentioned her parents. “You know something don't you?”
“Ana please. Now's not the time…” Leon tried to take her hand but she pulled it away.
“No, now is the time. Tell me what you know about my parents. Lord Dalton's solicitor found out more than you said, didn't he?”
Leon sighed. “I was trying to protect you, Ana. I was waiting for the right time.”
She couldn't believe Leon had kept something from her. Tears started to fall down her cheeks. She instinctively knew it was bad news.
“Tell me, Leo.”
“Let's go back to the flat.”
“No!” Ana shouted, drawing looks from those around her. “Now! Where are my parents?”
Leon looked her with sad eyes. “They're dead, Ana. I'm so sorry.”
Ana felt her chest and throat constrict, and her breathing grow shallow. “And the rest of my family?”
“They were all killed in a Nazi death camp during the war. Only you and you grandfather escaped. I thought it would be too much for you to learn all at once.”
Ana felt her chest and throat constrict and her breathing become shallower. She kept this from me. She kept this from me.
“Ana please talk to me. I thought I was doing the right thing.”
A cold calm seeped through Ana's body. She dabbed her tears with her napkin and said, “I'm going to the ladies' room.”
Leon quickly got up. “I'll help you…”
“No, don't!” Ana snapped. “I can manage myself. I need to be alone.”
As she walked away from the table using her crutches, she heard Leon say, “I love you, I'm sorry.”
***
Leon waited at the table and had to stop herself from going after Ana. How had their special romantic evening turned into this? Alex was right. Keeping secrets was a big mistake.
She looked at her watch and saw that twenty minutes had passed. Leon stubbed out her cigarette and went to the ladies'.
When she walked in there were ladies were touching up their make up in the mirrors but all the toilets were empty. Fear gripped her heart, she knew something was wrongShe hurried over to the toilet attendant and asked if she had seen a woman of Ana's description.
“Yes dear. She was in here about fifteen minutes ago. Looked quite upset too.”
“Did she say anything?”
“I asked if she would like me to get her a glass of water and she said she wanted to go outside for a breath of air.”
Leon dropped a note in her tip dish and quickly hurried to the door. She met the doorman coming in just as she did. “Guv, your girl…I was just coming to get you. A man bundled her into a car. I couldn't get to her quickly enough.”
“I've lost her.” Leon held her face in her hands. She was going to lose the person she loved for the second time in her life.
Just then Billy came over to find out what was wrong. “What's wrong, Leon?”
“He's taken her, he's taken her.”
Billy held her by the shoulders and tried to calm her down. “Ana? Who's got her?”
“Percy, her guardian and the man she's been running from. I don't know the first place to look for her.”
Think…think.
How could she narrow down where he would take her? Then one name hit her, a person who knew the streets of London like the back of his hand. “Billy, can I use your office?”
“Of course. Follow me.”
Billy led her to the manager's office, and picked up the phone. “Tommy, I need your help.”
Thirty minutes later Tommy telephoned back.
“We found his family used to own a house in Clapham Guv, but no one has stayed there in years. It's run down, but that's somewhere he could go in desperation.”
“What's the address?”
“167 Prince Albert Road. Meet me and my boys there, don't go in yourself.”
Leon thanked him and put down the phone. “Well?” Billy said.
“He owns a run-down house in Clapham.”
“Let's go then. I'll drive you.”
***
Ana was thrown into a room and the door locked. She had badly jarred her healing knee as she was bundled into the van, and the pain was intense. With no crutches to help her, all she could do was pull herself over to the edge of the room and sit against the wall.
She pulled up the hem of her cocktail dress and looked at her swollen knee. This was probably going to set back her recovery by weeks, but it wouldn't matter anyway if Percy had her back in control.
The thug that grabbed her couldn't be anything but a hired thug, she was sure Percy was behind this. She remembered everything now, her mind was no longer foggy. The day her grandfather explained that her mother and father wouldn't be coming back, the day of her grandfather's funeral, and the night before she ran away when Percy tried to force her to marry him in his own special way. Everything was clear as a bell. Ana cried for her family, and the millions of other families destroyed in such an evil way. “I love you, Mama and Papa.”
Leo . Leo would be frantic looking for her. Why had she left her side? The news about her family was devastating. While she had no memory she was at least able to have hope of seeing them again, but now she knew the truth. They had been killed in the most horrifying way, and sacrificed their safety to get her out of France.
Leo had kept that a secret and it hurt, but she would never hurt her intentionally.
She was trying to protect you and you ran.
Ana's heart started to pound when she heard muffled voices behind the door then a key in the lock. The door opened slowly and in walked the man from her nightmares, Percival Upperton.
He said nothing but walked to a chair in the middle of the room and sat quite precisely, crossing his legs and clasping his hands on his lap.
Percy stared at her in a way that had always terrified her, and finally he spoke.
“Well, well. Well, Isana. We are reunited at last. Family should never be apart, you know that.”
Ana's skin crawled when he said her name. Percy had been the only one ever to use her full name and he made it sound wrong.
“You're not my family, my family is dead.”
“That's not what the law says. You're my ward, and I am responsible for you until you're twenty-one. What I say goes. When you ran from me, I promised I would find you and I have.”
Ana wiped away her tears. She was determined to remain as strong as she could, and not to appear weak.
“You've never been interested in me, Percy.”
Percy opened a silver cigarette case. He never took his eyes off of her while he pulled out a cigarette and lit it.
“Look around you, Isana.” He indicated to the bare walls and rickety bits of furniture. “I've sacrificed my life to take care of you after your grandfather died. I never got married, I spent all my money on you, and you repay me by running away?”
“You didn't care for me to be kind, you did it for my inheritance, and you didn't get married because you are a sick man who…you know what you did as I grew up. You spent your money on alcohol and gambling. I prayed that you wouldn't pick me up at boarding school. I was terrified of you.”
“I am sick? You ran away into the arms of a deviant who lives like a man.”
As soon as Leon's name was mentioned, Ana felt furious, and began to feel stronger. “Leon is kinder, gentler, and more gentlemanly than you could ever hope to be.”
Percy gave her a sinister laugh, and stood. He stubbed out his cigarette and straightened his tie. “But she'll never be a man, and that's what you're going to get. That money is mine, I've been waiting on it for a very long time. You're going to marry me.”
“I will never marry you, Percy!”
“Oh I will. You'll have to marry me.”
“What do you mean?”
Percy started to take off his jacket. “I've been waiting on this for a very long time.”
***
When they pulled into Prince Albert Road, Leon gasped. “It's the house from my nightmare.”
Billy jumped out of the car and jogged to the front door beside Leon. “What do you mean, mate?”
“I've had a nightmare about trying to find Ana in a house like this, and I can never find her.”
“We'll find her. Let's go.”
Leon tried the door handle but it was locked. “Can't get in that way. Maybe we can find a window or…”
Then they heard screaming and shouting. Leon stomach fell to her shoes. Just like my dream.
Without thinking she started hurling herself at the door. Billy joined her and after a few tries the door burst open. They were confronted by a staircase in front of them and doors off to either side of the entrance, but there were no pictures, no furniture, nothing to suggest it was a home.
“This place is a dump.”
“Let's go upstairs,” Leon said.
As they mounted the stairs they heard Ana shout, “No, please, not my leg.”
“Ana!” Leon roared and ran upstairs.
She must have heard Leon because she responded, “Leo! Help me. I'm up…”
Someone else needs you now. Leon heard in her head. Ana's voice had clearly been muffled, but they followed the strained shouts and came to a heavy oak door. It was locked of course.
“Ana, I'm here. I'm coming.”
When they tried to shoulder the door, it barely budged. “We're going to need something to ram it with mate,” Billy said. They looked around frantically and found a wooden bench.
They placed it in front of the door and Leon said, “On three. One, two, three!”
The door again didn't budge so they tried again- and after the third try the lock broke. They burst into the room to find Percy on top of Ana trying to assault her.
Roaring with rage, Leon ran over and pulled Percy off of Ana. Percy managed to wriggle free, got to his jacket and pulled a revolver from his pocket.
“Stay back!” He shouted.
Leon stopped dead and held up her arms, while Billy went to Ana. Leon's heart was pounding, but she had to remain cool for Ana's sake. “Calm down, Percy.”
“You're telling me to calm down? I'm the one who makes demands! I'm the one with the gun!”
“You're not being smart, Percy.”
“Oh? And how do you work that one out?”
“You can't get what you want, but you can still walk away.”
Percy's face was red with anger. “I'm not walking away from that money. There's more money in the Sternburg account than you could spend in ten lifetimes and it's mine, I deserve it! I saved Isana from certain death. If it wasn't for me she would have died in a concentration camp with the rest of her family. I'm not going to let you walk in and get what's mine. I'll kill you first!”
“I don't need Ana's money, Percy. I'm Lady Leona, daughter of the Earl of Marchdean. I have my own income.” Instead of backing off she started to walk forward towards the gun until the muzzle was in the middle of her chest.
Ana shouted, “Step back from him Leo. Please!”
“He's not going to shoot, are you, Percy?” He was highly agitated. His arm was shaking and sweat rolled down his face.
She looked him right in the eyes, and said, “Did you serve in the war, Percy?”
He shook his head. “Well while you were back here in Blighty, I was killing people to serve and protect this country, and even though our cause was just, every person you kill takes a toll on your soul. You need to be willing to see their faces every time you shut your eyes at night. Have you got the guts to do that, Percy? Can you look deeply into my eyes and pull that trigger?”
Percy's arm was shaking uncontrollably now. “I'll do it, I'll do it!” He closed his eyes and tried to pull the trigger.
While his eyes were closed Leon knocked the gun from his hand, and it slid across the room. Percy scrambled to get it, but stopped when he heard a new voice in the room. “Don't move another inch, or you'll be worm food, Guv.”
Leon looked around and released a huge sigh of relief to see Tommy in the doorway with a gun pointed right at Percy's head.
In a second she was taking a crying Ana from Billy's arms.
“Leo, I thought he was going to kill you.”
“Sh…sh…it's all right sweet girl. I've got you now and I'm never letting you go.” Leon kissed her brow and held her tightly.
Tommy's large associate, Tiny already had a good hold of Percy, who looked terrified.
Leon looked up at Tommy and said, “Thank you, Tommy. Your timing was impeccable.”
Tommy smiled broadly. “My pleasure, Guv. I owed you one.”
***
The police arrived not long after they were called and took Percy away. After taking statements from all involved, Leon was allowed to take Ana back to Alex's flat.
Ana sat on the couch wrapped in a blanket. The fire was roaring and the brandy that Leon had given her to help with her painful knee was left untouched on the side table. She didn't want alcohol to cloud her memory, it had been clouded for so long, and despite the painful memories she would rather feel that pain than dull it.
Leon walked into the drawing room from the hall and said, “Alex and Beth send their love. They say to use the flat as long as we'd like, but to come back to Dencotte when we're ready.”
“They're so kind,” Ana said.
Leon poured a drink and sat it down on the side table. “Come here.”
After Ana snuggled into her, she said, “You were so brave, Leo.”
“Brave is the last thing I am, Ana, but I was never going to let him hurt you.”
Ana took her hand and kissed it tenderly. “Leo my brave lion. This was all my fault. I'm sorry for leaving the club.”
“No, I should have never kept it from you. Alex advised me not to, but I just didn't want to cause you any pain.”
“I understand why you did it, and even if I was angry, I shouldn't have left. I could have gotten you killed.”
“Sh…” Leon stroked her hair. She loved that, loved the way Leon touched her.
“How do you feel?”
“Sad, hurt…but for the first time I feel free as well. Percy is arrested and can't hurt me.”
“He will never hurt you again. I promise.”
Ana regarded Leon carefully, and asked, “What will happen now?”
“Percy will be charged, and hopefully convicted. I'm quite certain that my lawyer can work on getting your trust fund opened to you early, since your ward is to be charged with criminal behaviour. When you have access to your family's money, you will truly be free. Free to do as you wish for the first time in your life.”
While the money would ease her existence and not make her a burden on anyone, her chief concern was Leon.
“And what about us? What's the future for us, Leo?”
“Our future is together. I'm ready to live again and wherever you want to go, I will be right by your side.”
Ana caressed Leon's chiselled cheek bone. “I would like to live in a house with you. Just you and me being a family. I've never had that since I was little.”
“Then that's exactly what we will have. I love you Ana, and tomorrow we will start our new life.”
Leon stood and lifted her into her arms. “The first thing we are going to do is go to bed. I'm going to hold you all night and make you feel safe.”
“Kiss me,” Ana asked and she was given a kiss full of promise, commitment and love.
***
Ana woke up during the night and looked at the alarm clock by the bed. Half past four.
Leon was standing by the windows smoking a cigarette in her pyjama trousers and white vest.
Leon looked gorgeous standing in the moonlight. Her pronounced shoulder muscles made Ana lick her lips as she imagined softly kissing them. Ana's body wanted Leon, but Leon wanted to take things slowly, and a scar that disappeared under her vest reminded Ana how uncomfortable Leon was about showing her body.
Ana wanted to heal her. “Leo?”
She turned and smiled, “What are you doing awake, sweet girl?”
“I missed you sleeping beside me. Come to bed?”
Leon stubbed out her cigarette and got into bed. She opened her arms and Ana snuggled into them.
“That's better. I like you, close.” Ana slipped her hand under Leon's vest and stroked her stomach. At first she felt Leon tense but as her stroking continued she relaxed.
“Can I ask you a question, Leo?”
“You can ask me anything, Ana.”
“Have you…you know…been with any women since Juliet?”
Again she felt Leon tense up. “Yes…but only when I was drunk and lonely. I wasn't with them the way I would be if we were making love. I didn't let them touch me or see my body.”
Leon sighed but Ana felt it was a talk that they needed to have.
I didn't want anyone to touch me with love, and I didn't want them to see the scars on my body.”
Ana allowed her hand to slip just under the waist of Leon's pyjama trousers and stroke her there. She heard Leon's breathing change.”
“Will you ever want me to touch your body with love?”
“Of course I will, I will want to make love to you.” Leon's breathing became shallower.
Ana leaned up on her hip and said, “Take off your vest. I want to feel your skin.”
Leon looked tense and worried. “I…don't think you're ready to make love, you're too…”
“Young? I know exactly what I want, Leo. I've found the one I want to be with forever, and I want us to seal our love.”
Ana slowly slipped off her nightdress. Leon groaned and couldn't stop her hands from holding Ana's bare hip. She was not expecting this from Ana. Maybe it was a reaction to the fear she felt last night from Percy, but it was too soon wasn't it?”
Ana took her hand from her waist and placed it on her pert, medium-sized breast.
“ Jesus, Ana. We shouldn't be doing this. It's too…”
“It isn't. I want to share this with you, Leo. I want to be yours.”
Leon's sex throbbed and she hungered for Ana with an intensity that she hadn't felt before. Ana moaned when Leon squeezed her breast and brushed her thumb over her hard nipple.
“You're so beautiful like this, Ana.”
Ana's hips started to rock on her and Leon's mind was made up then, there was no going back for them now. Ana was going to be hers. She rolled her over and gave her a deep passionate kiss.
“I love you, Ana. You do know how much this means to me?”
Ana caressed the long scar that ran down Leon's face. “I know. I love you too, and I want to kiss all of you and make you better. Please take your clothes off. You're safe with me.”
Leon had never shown anyone her scars and it scared her. “I…I don't…”
Ana placed Leon's hand between her breasts and said, “My heart is yours. Show me your battle scars, my brave lion?”
Leon closed her eyes for a second and then quickly pulled off her vest, pyjamas and boxers. She held her breath with apprehension while Ana traced her fingers over the many scars on her chest and arms. Her tension started to wane and she allowed herself to enjoy Ana's touch.
“Show me how to give you pleasure, you need love to make you better.”
It was such an innocent thing to say but this young woman just seemed to understand what she needed, to feel love while Ana caressed her wounds.
Without saying anything, she took Ana's hand and pushed her fingers into her own wetness. After a few helpful strokes Ana got the idea and Leon allowed her to continue herself.
“Oh God, Ana. No one's touched me like this…”
“I know.” Ana traced every scar on Leon's chest and shoulders while giving her pleasure with her fingers.
Leon's hips thrust on Ana's fingers allowing her to keep the safety of control. With every touch Leon felt the last vestiges of pain leaving her body. She felt confident and strong, and it was all Ana's doing.
As she felt her orgasm start to overwhelm her, she took possession of Ana's lips and came hard with no barriers and with the complete feeling of safety in Ana's arms.
She collapsed down onto Ana, and gasped for air. “Ana, Ana, thank you, thank you for saving me, thank you for loving me.”
Ana held her tightly and placed soft kisses all over her face. “We saved each other. I love you, make me yours.”
Leon gazed lovingly at Ana. She couldn't believe her luck that she had ran into the sweetest, loving girl who had changed her life. Maybe Ana was right when she had held her on the road that day. Maybe an angel had sent Ana to her arms?
The past was now behind her. In front of them was a brighter future, and she couldn't wait to live it with Ana.
Ana groaned as Leon pushed into the wet warmth that she had created, and gently and lovingly gave her first experience of pleasure and love.
Afterwards when Ana tried to regain her breath, Leon said, “You're mine now, sweet girl, and I'm yours. I'll love you forever.”
***
Alex looked down at both her children in her arms. It was Thomas and Laura's wedding day, and while Beth got ready, Alex snuck into the nursery for a visit, and let Nanny Winnie have a quick break.
The two babies were wrapped up tight in their shawls and looking at her with great interest, as they always did. She walked over to the windows, looked out over the large grounds and sighed with contentment.
“You see all of this, Freddie and May, this will be your playground before long. You're going to have the most wonderful childhood, I promise you.”
Freddie grumbled and made a grab for Alex's nose. “All right troublemaker. I think you are going to have your mother and me pulling our hair out.”
“I think you're right.” Beth said behind her.
She turned around and saw Beth's new dress for the first time. She was wearing a duck egg coloured dress that gathered at her slender waist, while the skirt ballooned out just below the knee.
As she looked at Beth she knew that she would always feel the heavy thud to her heart in her presence. She was certain that her mother and father, wherever they were out there, had sent Beth to melt her icy heart, and she had done her job in spades. Not only giving her utter devotion and love, but two beautiful children.
“You look wonderful, sweetheart. Doesn't mama look beautiful, my girls? Freddie and May agree you are the most beautiful woman in the world.”
“Oh do they now?”
Beth walked up to them and gave Alex a kiss. “Thomas is ready to leave, so go and do your best man bit, and I'll settle the children with Nanny Winnie.”
Alex placed Freddie in her cot while Beth did the same with May. Before she left she had to get one proper kiss . Once May was safely lain down, Alex turned Beth around and leaned into her neck. “Oh God. You have no idea how good you smell. You make me burn for you.”
Beth slid one fingernail down her tie and stroked over her belt buckle, and Alex groaned. “Later you can unwrap me, but for now you need to go.”
She pulled Beth into her and grasped her buttocks. “I'm going to do more than unwrap you, Lady Beth. I'm going to make you scream.”
Alex let go quickly as she heard Nanny Winnie coming into the nursery.
“Is this a bad moment, Lady Dalton?”
“No. We're quite finished.” She leant over and whispered in Beth's ear, “I want you to think about me thrusting inside of you, all through the day.”
Beth immediately went red and appeared flustered.
“I'll see you at the church, Lady Beth.”
***
Alex straightened up Thomas's tie and patted his cheek. “My turn to dress you, Thomas. How am I doing?”
They were both in the church vestry waiting on the bride's arrival. “Not bad, m'lord.”
She smacked him on the shoulder. “Coming from you, that's high praise indeed. You ready for married life then?”
Thomas had the biggest smile on his face. “I can't wait. It's been lovely to see Laura making the cottage a home for us. I can't thank you enough for giving it to us.”
“It was our pleasure. Laura has been a good friend to Lady Beth, and has helped her settle into her role. You both have a long and bright future at Dencotte. I know Mrs Mckluskey and Foster see you both as their successors.”
“It would be an honour to follow in their footsteps.”
“Oh before I forget.” Alex reached into her inside pocket and pulled out an envelope. “This is from Lady Beth and myself…”
Thomas held up his hands. “No I can't, my Lord. You've done enough for us already.”
Alex pushed the envelope into his top pocket. “Of course you can. We are family here at Dencotte. I have two little girls now who will one day rely on you and Laura, as much as we do now. Save it for your own children, and give them a good start in life.”
Thomas looked down at his pocket and his eyes were full of emotion. He held out his hand to Alex and said, “Thank you, my Lord. Truly.”
Alex took his hand and one of the ushers knocked the vestry door. “The bride's here, Thomas.”
“And we're off,” Alex said. “Let's go and get your bride.”
***
The service was beautiful, and the ladies including Beth and Lotty, all had a tear in their eye. After the service the congregation had repaired to one of the local farmers' disused barn that the village used for dances and other events. It had to be big as the entire village had turned out as well as all the Dencotte and Romsford ford hall servants.
One wall was lined with long tables, groaning with food and drink. Mrs Mckluskey and Foster were organising, and taking care that everyone was well looked after.
Alex and Beth stood with Thomas and Laura talking about their upcoming honeymoon to the seaside resort of Blackpool.
“Thank you so much for your extra wedding present, Lady Beth. You already got us a beautiful china dinner service,” Laura said.
Beth embraced Laura and said, “It's our pleasure, Laura. We love you both and just want you to have the best start to married life.”
Alex shook Thomas's hand and gave Laura a kiss on the cheek. “Have a wonderful honeymoon.”
They left to circulate with the other guests and Alex and Beth walked over to where the Woodwards, Billy and Jo, and Leon and Ana were standing chatting.
“Alex. Ana has some great news,” Poni said.
“Oh?” Alex said with a smile.
Ana looked down shyly, but Leon slipped her arm around her waist and said, “Go on.”
“I've been thinking …well…we've been thinking about what I could do with my trust fund, and we thought it would be nice to do something constructive with it. Something in the name of my family. I'd like to help refugees coming to this country, displaced people like I was.”
“Sounds wonderful,” Beth said.
Leon looked lovingly at Ana. “We thought we could call it, The Sternburg Trust, and we hoped you could give us some advice on how to do that, Alex.”
“It would be my pleasure.” Alex was delighted to see two people, so hurt mentally and physically, find love and solace in each other. Leon was finally free of the terrors of war, and Ana was free of the man who was controlling her life. Now he was in jail awaiting trail, no one had a hold on her.
“So what's next for you two?” Alex asked.
Leon looked adoringly at Ana. “We both have a few personal things we have to do first. Like sort out the details for Ana's estate, and then we're going to look for a house together. I can't wait to live with this girl.”
Ana smiled adoringly and reached up to kiss her new lover on the cheek. “My Leo. You are too wonderful for words. I can't thank you enough, Alex and Beth. You opened your house to me, looked after me and I was a stranger to you.”
“You are quite welcome,” Beth said, and looked at Lotty and Poni. “As I said before, I was saved by kindness and without it I wouldn't have Alex or Freddie and little May. We are only too happy to help, and whatever you two need, please come to us or Poni and Lotty. We want to see you both happy.”
Poni lifted her champagne glass. “I think this calls for a toast. Alex? You are the highest ranked officer. The honour is yours.”
Everyone lifted their glasses together, and Alex said, “I ask you to remember friends and comrades, those no longer with us and those we have just met. To friendship.”
“To friendship,” everyone repeated.
***
Ana got out of Leon's car and pulled on her leather gloves. It was a crisp, cold morning, but the temperature would never put her off going to this graveyard.
They walked up to the heavy gates of the cemetery, and Leon put her hand on the sliding lock and said, “Are you ready for this?”
“Yes.” She said confidently. “I'm ready.”
Leon opened the gate and they went in. She took Ana's hand and squeezed it. Ana could never have done this without Leon's support.
They followed the rough map that they had been given and arrived at a small unremarkable grave stone. Ana immediately walked up to it, placed her palm on the stone, and closed her eyes.
I'm here Grandpapa. It took me a long while but I'm here and I'm free.
She opened her eyes and held out her hand to Leon. “This is Leo, Grandpapapa. She rescued me and set me free.”
“How long is it since you've been here, Ana?” Leon asked.
“I haven't been since the funeral. Percy didn't let me go out on my own, and he never wanted to come, so I didn't. I tried to remember him in other ways, so He knew I was thinking about him.”
“I'm sure he knew.”
Ana put her hand in her pocket and pulled out a rock she had taken from their garden at their new house in London, and put it next to the stone.
“Grandpapa, this is a stone from our garden, so you'll always be connected to us.”
Ana looked back at Leon and took another stone from her pocket. Leon looked quizzically at her.
“This is to remember Juliet. She was killed during the war, and was loved by Leon a great deal. Watch out for her in heaven, Grandpapa.” She placed the rock by the stone and walked back to Leon who had tears in her eyes.
She was taken into Leon's arms and held tightly. “Thank you, sweet girl. You have the kindest heart.”
Ana looked up at Leon and said, “We are putting the past behinds us, Leo, so we can look to the future. We have one more thing to do.”
A few hours later they were back in London and standing across the street from Leon's family home. Leon remembered standing here alone. She was broken and ready to die, and too ashamed to walk across the street to her mother.
She was still nervous and anxious, but this time Ana held her hand, and her love gave her strength.
“Are you ready for this?”
Leon took a breath and looked at Ana. “With you by my side, I'm ready for anything. Let's go and introduce you to your new family. I love you, Ana.”
Ana squeezed her hand. “I love you, Leo my brave lion.”
***
Epilogue – Five years later
Billy and Jo stopped in front of a large traditional Paris building. “I can't believe we're here, and it's real,” Jo said.
Billy wrapped her arms around Jo from the back. “It's real and I'm so proud of you Jo Jo. The House of Stafford is about to be unleashed on the French public. Next stop, Milan.”
Jo laughed. “Don't get ahead of yourself, Billy Boy.”
“Why not? My beautiful wife has branches in London and Paris, I'm allowed to get ahead of myself.”
“I could never have gotten this far without your backing.”
“Of course you would have, you have talent by the bucketful. It might have taken a bit longer but your talent alone would have gotten you here.”
Billy took out a large ring of keys from her leather jacket pocket, and dangled them in front of Jo's face.
“Do the honours then.”
Jo took the keys from her hand and said, “I love you.”
“Hey, that's understandable.”
Jo turned around and gave her a soft smack to the arm. “Okay, okay, I love you too, Princess. How about we go and christen your new office. Hmm?”
Jo went red and giggled as she hurriedly unlocked the door. “Let's go cheeky chops.”
***
Rowe Mathews finished work at the UN building in New York. Upon leaving the secret service, she used her many contacts to get an excellent job in security at the UN. After many years working under numerous aliases in service to the American and British governments, she felt it was time to change. Time to put down roots and build a life. Her new job was just the first part of that life.
She was financially secure, had just bought a house, and was trying to adjust to the nine to five life. But despite having put the war and her pain behind her, she hadn't been able to give her heart away again.
Francine had been the only one she had ever loved, but she hadn't loved her back, and she would be eternally grateful to Leon for opening her eyes to Francine's treachery.
Maybe love and happy ever after aren't meant for me? She thought.
Rowe sighed and turned at the corner of the street, deciding not to go home and instead headed for her local bar.
As she walked on she saw an out of control car heading for a woman across the street. She ran as fast as she could, grabbed the woman by the waist and threw them both out of its way.
The car crashed into a shop front, with a man slumped behind the wheel. The street turned to chaos as people shouted and came to the driver's aid.
“Oh God, oh God, you saved my life…”
Rowe sat up and looked at the woman she had just saved. She felt a heavy thud hit her heart. The woman had the most beautiful golden-blonde hair that hung in loose curls and deep-blue eyes. They looked at each other silently for a moment until passers-by helped them up from the sidewalk.
“Thank you. You saved my life,” The woman said.
“It was my pleasure. My name is Rowe by the way. Rowe Mathews.”
“I'm April Devonshire. Pleased to meet you.” They shook hands and Rowe felt electricity pass between them.
Silently they held each other's gaze until the loud sirens of the police and ambulances interrupted them.
They moved away from the scene to let the emergency services do their work. “Thank you Rowe. What can I ever do to repay you?”
Rowe couldn't remember ever feeling this alive. It was like the touch of April's hand had restarted her heart and body. She had to see her again.
“Would you have a drink with me…and maybe dinn er? That's if you don't have a husband or boyfriend to get home to?”
April laughed softly. “No, I have neither. I'd love to go for a drink with you. Do you know the Daffodil Club?”
Rowe's heart soared. The Daffodil was an underground gay dinner and dancing club, and for April to mention it, was code to confirm she was a lesbian.
“Yes, I know the Daffodil very well.”
A policeman came up and interrupted them. “Could I get a statement from you ma'am?”
“Of course,” April said. “Rowe you will wait on me won't you?”
Rowe smiled. “I'll wait on you for as long as it takes.”
It's time to live again...
***
The hot summer sun beat down onto the Dencotte estate. Beth and Lotty were enjoying a glass of lemonade on the terrace, while in front of them, Alex and Poni played with their two five year olds, Freddie and May, and seven and a half year old Kitten. While the rest were trying to play with a ball, Freddie was running around with Bertie the beagle in her cowboy hat and gun strapped to her side.
“What a beautiful day,” Lotty said.
Beth took a sip of her lemonade. “Yes, if only Freddie wasn't so noisy it would be perfect.”
They watched Freddie pretending to shoot May and Kitten. Alex said, “Freddie calm down and come and play with the ball.”
“She is full of energy isn't she?”
“Full of energy is one way of putting it, Lotty. She drives me round the bend most of the time. I've never known two twins so different. Little May is such a sweet, good girl, and Freddie is wild.”
Lotty laughed. “But you wouldn't change her for the world, I would guess?”
“You would be right. She's my baby, they both are. I've been truly blessed.”
At that moment they heard a small bang, a squeal and saw Kitten tear across the lawn after Freddie, with Alex's booming voice shouting after them.
“I told Alex a cap gun wasn't a good idea, but would she listen? No.”
She stood and gave Alex a stern look. “Alex could you please get your daughter and take that infernal gun off of her?”
“Of course, sweetheart.”
Alex and Poni trudged off in the direction that Freddie ran, and May and Kitten came up to sit with their mothers. Beth lifted May onto her knee, and Kitten came to sit on Lotty's. “She made me jump, mama,” Kitten said.
“I know. She didn't mean it, she just likes to play a little rougher than you and May.”
May played with Beth's necklace and said, “Feddy bad, mama.”
“Your papi will calm her down,” Beth said.
She looked up and watched Alex walking back across the grass holding Freddie upside down by the ankles. Freddie was clearly enjoying it, giggling and laughing as they went. “She's so like what I imagine Alex would have been like at that age.”
“I'm sure Lady Grace would concur,” Lotty said.
“Oh before I forget, Lotty. Leon and Ana have confirmed for dinner on Saturday.”
“That's wonderful. It's a shame Billy and Jo are still in Paris. It would be like old times,” Lotty said.
Beth leaned over to whisper to Lotty. “Having Jo in Paris gives us a good excuse for a shopping trip. What do you say? Next weekend, you and me go and do some damage to Poni and Alex's bank accounts?”
Lotty gave a conspiratorial smile. “Sounds like a wonderful idea, and Poni and Alex can take care of the children for change.”
“Exactly, with nannies of course. I wouldn't trust them on their own,” Beth joked.
As Alex, Poni, and Freddie approached the table, Lotty said, “Oh Poni? Alex? We have a job for you.”
Alex and Poni looked at the smiles on their wives' faces and then at each other. Nothing good ever came of those smiles, but secretly they loved it.
The End
I would be delighted to hear your comments about this story at jennyframe91@yahoo.com
Also, please take a look at my website where you can find information on my future stories and books.
The end.
I would be delighted to hear your comments about this story at jennyframe91@yahoo.com
Also please take a look at my website where you can listen to the soundtrack to 'The Lady of Dencotte House' and find information on my future stories. www.jennyframe.com