Disclaimer: Most of these characters belong to Universal and Renasainance Pictures. I am writing this strictly for personal entertainment. No copyright infringement intended.
Story and Subtext Disclaimers: This story contains some violent and sexual graphics. It is a story about the love between consenting adult women. I am sorry if this offends you. If you are under age or this illegal where you live, please, wait until you are old enough or have moved to a different location!
I would like to thank my friends Kim and Kris. If not for your support and kind words this story would have remained hidden in the files on my computer.
I would appreciate any and all feed back. Please constructive criticism only.
REMEMBERING THE PAST
By: Jessica M. Hudson
Part 1
After Xena’s death in Jappa, Gabrielle decided to return home to Greece to see Eve and deliver the news of her mother’s death. More because she longed to be close to the only family she had left. Eve was so much like her mother, to think of that made her ache inside. She held the yearn of xena ashes a little tighter. “Xena, I miss you so much, “ she said aloud, not caring if anyone heard. Slowly she had begun to loose hope since Xena died.. Not caring much for anything. She kept reminding her self that Xena would be a part of her forever, but that was not enough. She longed to feel her physically. To feel her strong arms around her. So many sleepless nights had passed since that day. She wanted to touch her face, kiss her sweet lips. A tear began to form in her eyes. Choking it back. She remembered the first time they made love. How it felt to have Xena’s naked body on top of her own. Thinking how her heart would burst. How they gave them selves to each other. The boat she was on began to dock. Shutting out her tears she went to her cabin beneath and gathered her things.
Part 1
Maddie slept soundly as the morning sun began to rise. Slowly lighting her room with faint colors of blue. Laying there she felt a cold, wet nose lightly nudge her hand. Pushing it away instinctively, “not now River, go back to bed,” she mumbled.
River, her 3 yr old Shepard, was quickly becoming impatient. Not wanting to wait for the alarm so she could go outside and relieve herself and go for there morning run. She suddenly leap full force on to Maddie, who was grateful to be lying on her stomach. Her dark eyes shot open as the 97 lb dog landed. “Humph, River get off me.”
She barked insistently. River was not going to give up. Even after Maddie rolled her off and pulled her pillow over her head to shut out the noise of her barking. She reached up and grabbed the pillow pulling it off her head. Delivering wet kisses to Maddie’s face.
“All right, all right, I am up.” She raised her head to look at the alarm clock. “Do you have any idea what time it is. 6am, I don’t have to be up until 7:30. “
River barked some more, forcing her to get up. She walked toward the bed room door, “come on pup.” As River walked ahead through the door, Maddie waited until she was clear and then shut the door, leaving River on the other side. Rubbing her hands and smiling she leaped back in to the bed. Allowing herself to fall right back to sleep.
Meanwhile, River, who was completely infuriated with her master, jumped up and began to play with handle. Finally it popped open and she bound into the room. She once again jumped on to her master who was now lying on her back.
Knocking the air out of her lungs, Maddie moaned and gasped for breath as River stood with both front paws on her chest. She continued to bark as loud as she could. “Okay, Pup you win.
I’ll get up.” she rose and dawned a pair of gray sweats before heading out the door. Silently reminding herself that she needed to put a lock on her bedroom door. River followed behind making sure that this time she was not fooled.
When they got outside, Maddie waited for River to do her morning dance and relieve herself. Taking off on there morning 3 mile run. As Maddie rn she thought about all she had to do taht day.
Maddie’s life was peaceful most days, living alone with just her dog. She had no other family. Thus far in her life she had yet to allow herself the joy of a stable relationship. The only person she ever let close was her best friend, Lisa.. Both women were police officers for the small town they lived in. They had been partners since Lisa finished the Academy.
In the beginning Maddie had no interest in having a partner. Reluctant to except, with the idea of working with some one knowing that it required her to let Lisa into her life to some degree. Especially since she was assigned to a very chatty young rookie.
Eventually the women bonded, developing a close friendship that allowed Maddie the release she needed to keep her from going crazy.
Lisa was a 24 yrs old, with shoulder length fawn colored hair, and bright green eyes. About 5'2", with a slender/ athletic build. The kind of witty disposition that enabled her to talk her way out of anything or talk some one into anything. The fact that she was 7 yrs younger then Maddie made things even more difficult in the beginning.
Maddie was the same height as Lisa. With dark brown eyes and dark brown hair. Her build was very muscular and athletic. Making her as strong as some men. Having been in the Army before she became a cop, she was trained as an Army Ranger. In doing so was hardened by all she had endured in her life, she allowed no one to get close and see the person underneath. Often she found herself wanting to get close to her friend but found that she shut her out more often times then not. She told herself that with the 7 year age difference between them, Lisa would never be able to understand.
Finishing up her run she turned the corner that led back to her house. River was content and stayed right at her side. When she reached her driveway she noticed a familiar car parked outside. Looking down at River, “well pup, you hungry?” She trotted on ahead reaching the door before Maddie.
The house was medium sized with two levels. Two rooms were upstairs. One served as a bedroom and the other an office. Down stairs there was a large living room just as you entered in through the front door and just through that you found yourself in the spacious kitchen. In the middle of it stood an island were the stove was set up. To the right of the entrance was a small round table for two. Not far from that to the back of the kitchen stood the sink, and small laundry area, and a second entrance that led to the back yard. Cut in the center of the door was a large enough square for River to fit through. Off to the left of the kitchen was a dining room. Elegantly decorated with a full set of table and chairs, a china cabinet and a liquor cabinet which double as a wine stand.
“ Morning, I made you some breakfast. I left it on the stove.” Lisa called out as soon as she heard Maddie close the front door. River ran to the dining room were Lisa sat reading the morning paper. She greeted her with a happy smile and plenty of wet kisses. Lisa loving River never turned down the chance to cuddle with the large animal. She got and came into the kitchen setting down at the small table.
“Don’t you ever eat at home?” Maddie reached into the cabinet looking for a clean plate.
“No because if I do, you wont eat.” Lisa lightly brushed past her and reached into the dish washer handing her a clean plate and glass. Then walked over to the refrigerator and pulled out a carton of orange juice. Topping off her glass and filling Maddie’s as well.
“Yes I would, I ate fine before you came along. I would continue to do so if you ever left.” Maddie took a bite of the eggs and gave Lisa an approving nod before finishing them off.
“Madeline Duncan, cereal containing large of amounts of sugar for breakfast and fast food for the rest of the day do not count as meals. YUCK!” Lisa gave her a stern look. She always ate wholesome food and to Maddie’s surprise found it a rare moment when she bought a burger.
“Well, anyway, the point is: before you, I lived just fine.” Maddie finished off a second helping and gave what was left in the pan to River.
“You need me Duncan, admit it.” Lisa glanced up from the paper she had been reading.
“Yeah, sure I do.” Maddie rolled her eyes and continued in a sarcastic tone. “I need you about as much as I need a whole in my head.” Lisa stuck out her tongue and continued reading.
“Well, I am off to take a shower.” Lisa ignored her, pretending to be hurt by her remark. As Maddie crossed the kitchen she walked up behind Lisa and placed her hands on her shoulders giving them a gentle squeeze and lightly kissed the top of the young women’s head, “thank you.”
She left the room leaving Lisa and River to themselves. Lisa waited until the older women was out of sight before she allowed herself to catch the breath that had caught in her throat. Thinking how her skin felt like fire where Maddie had touched it.
“Oh, how I wished she would not do that, it drives me crazy.” Lisa said with small smile to River who looked at her with head cocked and eyes narrowed.
Maddie entered the bathroom and shut the door, taking a brief moment to lean up against it. Forcing herself to take in steady breaths, “does that girl have any idea what she does to me? If only she knew what thoughts go through me head when she is near. Hmm...she would shoot me. Well at least she would put me out of my misery.” A small smile crossed her face as a thought of how nice it would be to one day just push her fear aside and kiss the women on the lips. Maddie knew that for the first time ever she felt something she could not push away. Lisa managed to bring out feelings in her that no one else ever could. Trying to forget her feelings she made sure the water was right be hopping in the shower. “Maybe a cold one will do the trick,” she though but then decided against it.
When Gabrielle returned home to Greece she stopped at a temple. I medium sized building lavishly decorated. Colorful picturing hanging on the walls reminded Gabrielle of the first time had entered the temple. With Xena by her side she quickly discovered that there was more to love then just the basics. Chuckling to herself as she walked passed the section that gave her Xena many ideas. Letting her mind fall once more on the positions of the Karma Sutra. Stopping for a moment, in front of the picture of Attis the Ape Man, to remember her long lost friend Joxer. “ Sometimes I wish even he was here.” She wiped her eyes. Finally walking up to the altar, taking in a deep breath as the smell of fish entered her lungs.
“ Hello, Gabby !” Aphrodite appeared next to the altar. Looking at the altars contents, “Grody! No matter how many times I tell my priests not to let people leave me fish they do. YUCK!, now I need a bath.”
“Hello Aphrodite, its so good to see you. How are you?” Gabrielle walked over to the goddess and hugged her.
“Good, minus the fish.” The goddess stepped back to look at her friend. Noticing that the bard had lost weight and her usually bright green eyes, looked tired and troubled. “Where’s Xena?” She looked around expecting to find the dark warrior somewhere near by.
“She is gone..” Gabrielle began to tear up.
“Gone? Oh, little one, I am so sorry.” The goddess hugged the bard once more. “How did it happen?”
Gabreille told her the story of Jappa. How she could have brought Xena back but she would have destroyed 40,000 souls in the process.
“Well, I know this does not help but Xena and you are soul mates. Each lifetime the two of you have the joy of finding each other and falling in love.” Gabrielle smiled briefly at the thought of seeing her beloved once again, of falling in love with her all over again. She thought back to when the two of them first started traveling together. How she had the constant fear her warrior was going to leave her behind somewhere or send her home. She longed with every fiber of her being to feel her soul mates strong arms around her once more.
After a long chat Gabrielle prepared to leave. “Gabrielle I have something for you. Xena gave it to me a long time ago and told me that if anything ever happened to her to see that you got it.” A small box appeared in her hand. She handed it to the speechless bard. Gabrielle opened the lid, her breath catching as she viewed the contents inside. She walked over and sat down on the stairs in front of the altar, joined by Aphrodite. She removed a piece of rolled parchment and began to read it. The goddess listened as she read aloud.
My Bard,
If you are reading this then what I feared the most has happened. Although I am gone, I want you to know how much I love you and miss you. As I have always said you were to best part of my life. You gave my life meaning and joy. You will be a part of me forever. Please be strong and know that I am with you always. I LOVE YOU...
X
Gabrielle clutched the parchment to her heart and looked into the box that now lay in her lap. She removed the final item. I gold ring that was crafted with pattern Xena wore on her armor. She noticed on the inside an inscription and read it aloud:
I will love you, forever.
The bard had began to sob. She put the ring one and ran her thumb over it. “ I will never take it off.” She wiped the tears from her eyes. “Aphrodite, thank you.” She hugged the goddess one final time and gathered her things. As she walked out the door, the goddess called out to her.
“Gabrielle, if I could give you one thing, what would it be?”
Gabrielle paused for a brief moment and looked at her with sad eyes. “Do I have to say?” With that she turned and left.
By the time mid morning rolled around, Maddie and Lisa were headed out the door. After making sure River was settled in for the day, “I am driving!” Lisa grabbed the keys from Maddie and bolted for the car.
“Oh no you don’t. I am pulling rank, cause I don’t trust you.” Maddie pounced on the young women and wrestled the keys from her grasp. “ Why not?”
“Because every time you drive I have to come home and dye the gray out of my hair, that’s why.” Maddie headed for the car and unlocked the doors motioning for Lisa to join her. She stormed over to the car, pretending to be angry, and not doing a good job of it. Maddie flashed her best smile. Lisa felt her knees wanting to give way. She got in, taking a deep breath. Cursing herself for letting the older women get the better of her.
“Darling, don’t blame me for your old age.” Lisa teased as she reached up and tugged on Maddie’s braid When Maddie turned her head to face the young women, Lisa made a piontr of pulling away. Allowing her hand to lightly brush the side of her face..Maddie quickly forgot what she planned to say and fought to gain her composer. Trying to hide the goose bumps that formed as the women touched her. Lisa made a piont of looking out the window and pretending not to notice. Smiling to herself. “I love getting to her like that.”
Maddie started the car and backed out of the drive way. Forcing herself to think of anything but the women sitting to her right.
After their shift briefing at the Dept. They checked in with dispatch and headed out. “Oh wait, I forgot my brief case in the locker room.” Lisa turned around and headed back inside. “Give me two minutes.”
“K, make it quick.” Maddie got in to the car and started the engine. Sitting back she let herself think about what had happened earlier. A brief smile crossed her face, as she remembered the way the young women touched her face. ‘Get a grip Madeline, she is your partner, for crying out loud. Besides you don’t even know if she likes women.’
Several minutes passed Maddie looked at her watch. “Come on Lisa, I want to get this show on the rode. It wont be long before lunch.” She waited a few more minutes, then decided to go after her. Silently cursing, she turned off the engine and went back inside. She made her way up the flight of stairs that led to the locker room. It was a long narrow room, with two sets of twelve lockers on each side of the room. Separated by a bench two benches that laid the length of the room. At the end of the room was a second door that led a shower area. Since Maddie and Lisa were the only two women in the dept. they shared the lockers with the guys, with a rotating schedule for use.
Maddie reached the door at the top of the stairs, she could hear two vioces behind it. One she was sure belonged to her partner. Rolling her eyes she pushed the door open and froze. Feeling a surge of anger flood through her veins.
Jim Wheatly was the dept stud, or so he thought. A handsome man with a muscular build that stood 6 inches taller than her partner. He stood over a very scared Lisa. Her brief case on the floor next to her with her hands pinned above her head.by the man in front of her. Turning away as he tried to kiss her on the mouth.
Maddie flew at them grabbing the mans forearm and spinning him around, placing her other hand on his shoulder. With little thought she threw him face first into the adjacent set of lockers. Stunned for a moment he sat there. Finally regaining his composure, turning around to face her. “What’s wrong Duncan, you don’t like to share? When I am finished with her, she’ll know what its like to be with a real man.”
“Really, well when you find one for her let me know. I will kick his ass too.” Maddie gave her bast feral grin. Infuriating the man. He flew at her putting both hands around her neck. She paused for a moment to regain her strength and balance. Bringing a knee up she kicked him in the groin, sending him back. He let go of her and sank down on him knees. She reached down and rapped an arm around his neck, using her other arm to grab a hand full of his hair. “If you ever touch her again they will be picking you up with a sponge. Got me?”
He shook his head in agreement. With that she headed for the shower area, throwing him into the nearest stall. Turning on the cold water, “this will cool you off.” She turned around and headed for her friend.
Lisa sat in front of the lockers, her knees up in front of her. Tears stained her face. She looked up but said nothing as she approached. Maddie squatted down in front of the rookie and looked at her. Without a moments thought, Lisa wrapped her arms around the women’s neck. Maddie pulled her close. Typically she would always shy away from this kind of contact. Always keeping people at arms length, even her best friend. She realized that over the course of the last year or so, her feelings for this women had changed dramatically. She was not sure when this happened. Only that it did and for once she was ot afraid of the outcome. She promised herself a long time ago that she would not let the younger women know how she felt. Knowing that it would only cause her to pull away and she would loose her best friend. Lisa cried as she hid her face into Maddie’s chest. Sitting there for some time she held her tightly and spoke soothing words. Trying her best to comfort her. ‘ I am not good at this sort of thing, DAMN.’ She silently cursed herself.
Still not letting Lisa go, “I am sorry he did that to you. I should have warned you a long time ago what he was like.”
“Don’t be sorry. I am just glad you came in when you did.” Lisa pulled away just enough to look the older women in the eyes.
Maddie released her and took her head in her hands. “Are you alright?”
Lisa shook her head and Maddie helped her to stand. The stood there for a moment and looked into each others eyes. Not one word passed between the two of them, yet so much was said in taht single moment that each felt the strong connection they both tried in vien to ignor.
“Come on we have to get going before someone notices.” Maddie took Lisa breif case and lead the women out the door and to the car. They got in and Maddie started the engine, pulling out of the parking lot. Silence evaded the car for the longest time, Maddie pulled to a familair spot on a near by road. A place they often ran radar. She looked out her driver’s side window thinking about everything that was happening and how no matter what she was powerless to stop it. Knowing in her heart that even if she could she would not. She would rather ache for the women next to her than feel herself be cold again.
“What are you thinking about?” Lisa finaly broke the akward silence.
“Hmmm, oh nothing.” Maddie came back to the present and pushed her thoughts aside, deciding she best save them for another time when she could be alone and sort out her feelings.
“You sure, it looked like you were someplace far away?” Lisa knew she was lying. She could see the turmiol in he partners eyes.
“Hey, how about we check out that new italian restaruant you been talking about? My treat!” Maddie wanted to make the young women smile. Lisa gracously excepted the change in subject.
Her face lit up, “I would love that!” Without thinking she placed a hand on Mddie’s thigh. Shocked Maddie did not know how to react, she fought the urge to pull away. Instead she placed a hand over the younger women’s. Enjoying for the moment the feel of her touch.
Without warning a car came flying by, “well, thats are cue.” The women pulled away from each other and Maddie put the car in drive turning on the overhead lights. Gunning the engine she quickly caught up with the speeding vehicle. When the offending vehicle noticed the blue lights behind them, they complied and pulled the car to the shoulder. Once the car was in park, Maddie reached for the radio and stopped when her hand met Lisa’s. The young women being a moment faster, they stared at each other for a brief moment. Maddie nodded and pulled her hand away allowing the young women to radio plate information to dispatch.
Maddie emerged from the vehicle, and walked to the driver. Retrieving his license and registration. She returned and handed over the information. Starting the necessary paper work for a ticket.
Several moments later the two women were finished and the vehicle had pulled off. Maddie decided to stay on that part of the road and wait for the next offender. Giving both women a chance to handle there end of paperwork.
“That was a pretty steep ticket you gave him.” Lisa carefully chose her words, reminding herself just how much the older women hated to be question for her actions.
Maddie’s look was stoic and unfaltering. A look Lisa knew meant ‘Drop it, now!’ She complied and changed the subject, happy to see the look was being given disappear.
Lisa had spent the better part of the last 2 years trying to get Maddie to open up to her. She knew that she was perhaps the first person the older women had ever let close and each time she made progress she saw a little more of the person underneath the ruff exterior. She knew she carried a lot of bad memories with her. That her past had nightmares that she, herself, really was not sure if she wanted to know or not. Maddie wore scares that she would never explain, some physical and some mental. Causing the women a great deal of pain. She often countered that with her career. Living everyday for her job, always having something to prove. Whatever it was she would not say but both women knew how in the beginning it terrified the young rookie.
Lisa looked back on there first months together, how she often begged their Caption to place her with someone else. Remembering once she was so desperate she planted herself in his office in a chair and refused to leave until he gave in. She blushed profusely as the much larger man, had walked around his desk and picked up the young women chair and all. Setting them outside his office and slamming the door in her face. Maddie picked that moment to be passing by and saw the younger women being hauled out. She stopped and watch as the women got up and kicked his door in anger. How red her face was and seeing her partner watch had made it even worse. Maddie had just shook her head and walked on yelling over her shoulder. “I have already tried, he has made up his mind.” Then she had given up and set out to make peace with the dark women.
Now 2 years later, something had changed. In the beginning she could not get the former ranger to even speak to her. Through persistance she had managed to get her to open up. Feeling a bond forming between the two forging a deep friendship. Recently she, who was always talking, had found herself often at a loss for words. Confusion now a part of her everyday life. She thought of things that she had never thought about before. Feelings she would never had felt for women had began to surface. At first they frightened her but know she wanted nothing more then to except her feelings and allow their bond to grow.
The rest of the day passed as it most often did, nothing exciting and with Lisa chatting ideally. Maddie giving short comments or answers.
