Disclaimers: This was something that I wrote for a specific purpose. A Lesbian summer holiday should be just like any other ... shouldn't it?
Lyrics are from a Cliff Richard song by the same name.We're all going on a (Lesbian) summer holiday...
Where I come from summer heralds the typical summer holiday – six weeks of kids running riot in traditional beach holiday spots. Unfortunately for me I live all year round in one of these spots which means that not only do we have kids all year round but in summer that number triples and you can't move without tripping over kids. I can't stand going shopping up at the mall and being inundated with choruses of 'hello miss' from past and present students.
No more working for a week or two...
After putting up with this for 4 years I'd had enough. Time for a break I said. Time to go somewhere else I said.
Fun and laughter on our summer holiday...
There aren't too many pre-requisites when going on holiday – you have to have fun, you have to relax, you have to be able to dress down and you have to leave anything that remotely looks like work behind. The only problem is what happened last time we went on holiday. I had the brilliant idea of buying a tent – what better way to save money while having a great holiday. The first two days were fine. We were camped in a nice secluded camping spot with no one else around. Romantic I thought. I even thought we might stay a few more days. Until, while dozing in post-coital bliss, the whine started. I want to go shopping she said. I need to check my email she said. Again and again and again.
No more worries for me or you...
So I gave in (gave my ears a rest more like it) and we packed up our tent and moved on to a 'better' spot. The only problem was that it was already inhabited by several families. We tucked ourselves and our tent into the furthest corner and settled in. Then, wouldn't you know it, it started to rain. And you know what else started too, don't you? The whine. The water's getting into the tent (two drips by the front flap). I'm getting cold (it was 30oC). I need to go to the toilet. That did it. I stormed out of the tent and down to the campground office. After a quick conversation with the owner and handing over of a large amount of our precious money I was given a set of keys.
When I arrived back at the tent she was still in full whine. I silently handed her the set of keys, pointed her in the direction of the rooms I had rented and slowly started to pack our stuff up. Half an hour later I had finally packed everything and lugged it to our new rooms. Note she didn't offer to help.
That was the start of those holidays. It only got worse and I didn't want a repeat performance.
For a week or two...
So for this holiday I decided no tent. No roughing it. Bed to sleep in every night. Indoor toilets and showers. I decided we had to stay somewhere that was within our budget and close enough to a shopping centre to satisfy her. I made the bookings, printed out the confirmation forms and mailed them to her.
What? Ok, call me a coward, but I didn't want to be around when she opened the envelope in case she exploded.
So we're going on a summer holiday...
There was nothing to worry about. She loved that I had thought out all the details and even that I'd thought about her need for shopping and email.
To make our dreams come true...
We were going to get that break that we desperately needed.
For me and you...
And we were going to go into our second decade together in a positive note.
For me and you.