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For disclaimers see chapter one...
Chapter six
For disclaimers see chapter one…
Danny took another deep breath as she left her position from standing underneath the tree, leaning against it. She had stood there for hours, looking at the large house at the other side of the road. She was soaking wet from standing there in the rain for so long, but she didn't care. It had been raining almost constantly since she left Emily four days ago. She closed her eyes as the image of the blonde appeared in her mind.
She had fucked up again. She shouldn't have stayed with her. And she certainly shouldn't have slept with her. But she had wanted to. So damn much that she hadn't been able to stop herself. But it was a mistake. And she hated herself for it.
Danny knew that she had hurt Emily by leaving her like that, but what should she have done? What could she have done? She didn't want to drag Emily into her life or whatever the hell she should call it. She had already involved her too much just by staying. She was lucky they hadn't found her. Found them. Danny couldn't stand the thought of having risked that. What the hell had she been thinking? She had been selfish, that's what it was. She had stayed longer than she had actually needed to because she was selfish. Because Emily had made her feel things. Things she hadn't felt for a very long time. Even long before the death of her family. She had realized that during the two weeks she had spent with the blonde. Being with Emily had scared her because it had changed her. Everything she had built up during the past two years had been destroyed. Danny knew it was destroyed because she hadn't been able to rebuild her protective wall even after she had left. The demon hadn't showed itself, despite her trying to lure it out of its hiding. She was now alone, without its protection. Without its guidance. Its protection from herself. From her feelings. Its guidance in her quest to complete her mission. Instead, now it was even worse. Emily had taken all of that away from her. For once, she was afraid. Not for herself. For her own life. No, she was afraid of her own feelings. Afraid of what she had felt when she was with Emily. It was too much. Not only had she never thought she could feel that way again; these feelings were even more intense than anything she had ever felt. Even stronger. No one had ever been able to make her feel that way. Make the demon disappear.
She crossed the road, looking both ways to see if anyone saw her. She didn't see a soul, hadn't all night, and all the other houses on the road was dark, but you never know.
She hadn't intended coming here at first, thinking she should go to the Manhattan apartment instead, but she knew she couldn't hide forever. Where else could she go? If they found her, they found her. It was just as good. And this house was certainly a place where they would search for her, but it didn't matter. At least Emily was safe, that's all she cared about. She was glad she hadn't told her any more about herself. Her name. Anything. Now there was no way Emily could find her. That's exactly how she wanted it to be.
She had watched the house for hours, knowing it was probably watched by others as well. By them, maybe. The police? Probably both.
She could feel emotions welling up inside her as she looked at it, in a whole different way than she had ever before. It was a beautiful house.
Her own house. She'd had it built when Sam was pregnant with Danny Jr. It was almost nine years ago now. She'd had help of course, she was no architect, but she had drawn it. As much of it as she could, at least. She had always loved that house. Sam and her was supposed to have grown old together there. At least that's what she had thought. That was what she had planned. But that wasn't meant to be. She had destroyed it.
She hadn't been there for almost two years. She hadn't wanted to step foot inside it since…
She shook her head trying to rid it of the images flashing before her eyes. The blood. All the blood. Everywhere. She couldn't stand thinking about it.
But it all looked the same, from the outside at least, as if time had stood still. As if she was about to come home after work, just like before, only this time no one was waiting for her.
She retrieved the spare key from its usual place underneath the, now flowerless, flower pot to the right at the top of the stairs, surprised that it was still there after all that time. Wasn't that a common place to hide a key or was that just in the movies?
Or maybe they had been here and then just put the key back where they found it, to hide the fact that they'd been there.
Danny pressed the five digits of the code into the security system and inserted the key into the lock, avoiding looking at the wooden sign to the left of the door.
‘Welcome to the Hunters: Samantha, Daniela and Danny Jr' it said. She didn't want to see it. She had seen it thousands of times before, then smiling every time. But now, no such family lived there anymore. It was only her. She was the only one remaining. Not that she intended to stay for long. She just needed some things. Her car. Her credit card. Her gun.
Danny took a deep breath as she entered the house she had once called home. Now, it was anything but.
***
Danny put the glass of scotch she had poured herself on the desk in her home office and sat down in the chair with her feet up, just staring at it. It was her fourth. More than half the bottle of 12 year old Glenfiddich were now gone. The effects of the liquid had started to be felt long ago and she was beginning to feel numb. It felt good. The demon had been the only help she'd had for a long time to make her not feel. But it still refused to reappear. And all the feelings, all the emotions, that now overwhelmed her, were too much.
Danny wasn't and never had been one to turn to alcohol, but this was unbearable. It was hell. She had been “home” for one day and could hardly stand it any longer. She hadn't been anywhere but in her office, lying on the couch there, in the kitchen and in the master bathroom. She couldn't make herself enter her and Sam's bedroom. Even less, to look into Danny Jr's room. Both rooms had been cleaned up a long time ago, but the bullet holes in the walls in his room where still there, making unmistakable patterns in the colorful Disney themed wall paper. Patterns that shouldn't be there.
She couldn't make herself look in, or even open the door, but she knew that everything still looked the same. The same way she had left it. His toys were still there. His bed was still made. With the Spiderman sheets he had loved so much. He had loved everything Spiderman.
That's why she drank. She drank to make the feelings go away. The feelings of guilt. Guilt over the fact that she had caused this. She was the reason her family were dead. Her wife. Her son. And then there was Emily. She didn't want to think about her, but her damn brain didn't obey. She had always been able to control herself and her emotions, but not any longer. The woman had crept under her skin. Changed her. Cast a spell on her. Chased away the demon. Her face appeared in her mind every time she closed her eyes. That fact also added to the guilt. She shouldn't think about Emily. It was not right. She should think about her family. Her mission. About them . What the fuck is this?
She shook her head at herself. The blonde had turned her known world upside down. Made her lose her bearings. Her direction. Just like that.
Danny didn't know what else to do, so she kept drinking. She reached forward, took the glass in her now much steadier hand and took a mouthful, feeling the strong liquid burning down her throat as she swallowed it. She had made up her mind. This was her last night here.
She had done what she came for. She had rested, if sleeping with one eye open for three hours could be called sleeping, she had cleaned herself up, emptied her safe and packed a bag with some things she needed to bring with her. She would leave in the morning. She didn't intend to return. Ever. She would sell the house. Not that she needed the money, but she didn't want to have anything to do with the place anymore once she left. She doubted she would have been able to even if she had wanted to, though. Even if things had been different. Because she would probably be dead by then anyway.
She closed her eyes and leaned back as she emptied the glass. Yeah, that's how it would be. How she would end up. It was perfectly fine with her.
***
Danny rose in her seat, almost dropping the glass she still held in her hand, as the doorbell rang. What the fuck?
She put the glass on the desk as she tried to listen more closely. Had she imagined it? Dreamt, maybe?
No, there it was again. The ringing of the doorbell. Who the hell could be there at the door at this time of the night? It was after midnight. And who the hell knew that she was back, anyway? It sure as hell wasn't them ; they would hardly ring the doorbell.
Those nosy fucking neighbors, probably. Danny poured herself another drink, once again emptying it, before leaving her office to check on who the hell was calling at the door. She knew that she was drunk, but at that point, she didn't care. Didn't care what anyone would think.
In fact, she reminded her of Al Pacino in that movie. What was its name again? Her whisky influenced brain couldn't remember. What the fuck was its name?
‘Scarface'. Yeah, that was it. Even the nickname was appropriate. She even laughed at this point, the large amounts of whisky clouding her otherwise extremely controlled mind. She could actually picture herself as Tony Montana, sitting behind his desk, high as a kite, with his gun in his hand. Waiting for them, his enemies, to come into his house too kill him. It was hilarious, really.
She walked down the stairs, still smiling, surprised as hell that she actually could manage without falling down on her ass.
She opened the door, not at all thinking about checking the cameras of the security system to look who was there before opening.
The smile disappeared from her face instantly and at that point, not even the whisky helped her. On the other side of the now wide open door stood the most beautiful woman she had ever seen in her life. Emily. And she wasn't smiling either…
”How… why… what the…” Danny shook her head, trying to clear it, but it didn't do much good. She couldn't put a decent sentence together. She took another deep breath, trying again. Oh, shit…
“What do you want, Emily? Huh? Why the hell are you here?”
Maybe it wasn't what she had intended to say and it certainly wasn't the right thing to say at that point, but it was the first thing to pop up in her mind.
SLAP
“What the fuck!”
Danny instinctively took a step forward, towards the blonde, for the first time in weeks feeling the demon trying to crawl back out from its hiding. She brought her hand to her cheek, which was stinging like a son of a bitch at the place where it had encountered the palm of Emily's hand.
What the hell did the damn woman think she was doing?
Emily watched the change in Danny's expression, as so many times before. She knew she was drunk, it was rather obvious. The slurred speech. The empty glass in her hand. The fact that she opened the door wearing only boxer panties and a tight, revealing tank top…
But the initial look of surprise, followed by a brief second of something else, something softer, were soon replaced by the other side of Danny. The darker side. The side of her she had hoped she would never have to see again.
She was now standing only inches away from her, dark blue eyes raging. For a short second, Emily thought Danny would hit her, but her hand stayed down, if by force she didn't know. She was not afraid, though. She was angry. Angry as hell.
“So, that's all you have to say, huh? What the hell I'm doing here?” Emily was almost screaming now.
“You think you can just fuck me, or whatever the hell it was to you, and then just leave me without as much as a word? What do you think I am, huh? Some stupid little girl you can just screw over and then forget about it?”
Danny took a step closer to the blonde, now standing so close that their bodies were touching. It felt so good. So familiar. She grabbed hold of Emily's arm as she tried to turn around, away from her, forcefully making her stay put. She brought her closer and pressed her own body into the blondes roughly as she put her hands on Emily's ass.
“So, that's why you're here? You want me to fuck you, is that it? Huh?”
Danny could feel her excitement rising, the demon and the whisky having taken her over almost completely at that point. She had no control over what the hell she was saying. Or doing. It was just instinct. Anger. Lust.
She brought her hand up, taking a soft breast in her hand, squeezing it. She could feel herself getting warm.
Emily tried to turn away from Danny, struggling to get out of her grip, but it was pointless. Danny was much stronger than her. And she was agitated. She didn't stand a chance.
“You are drunk, Danny”.
She saw Danny simply smirking at her, but she didn't let go.
She tried to turn away again, angry at Danny and at herself. She didn't want this. Not this way. Not right now. But she could feel her own treacherous body betraying her. Her heart started beating like crazy in her chest and she was starting to sweat. God, it felt so good to be this close to Danny again. So incredibly good. But she couldn't do this. Not like this. It would be a huge mistake if she gave in now. She had come here to get answers. To sort things out. Not to get herself into more trouble. But right then she wasn't sure if she could do it. If she was strong enough. She still didn't know enough about this woman who had the ability to affect her like this. She didn't know what had happened to her. What she had done. What scared her the most, though, was that she wasn't so sure that any of it really mattered to her. That the truth, whatever it was, would change how she felt.
Emily could feel her resolve wavering as Danny took an even firmer grip on her ass. She closed her eyes, trying desperately to control herself. Control her body. To not let Danny see how the things she was doing actually affected her. It was crazy, the way her body reacted every time she was this close to her. Every time Danny's hands were on her body. Her competent hands. Touching her. Taking her. Commanding her. Emily realized she was walking on treacherous ground.
She could feel Danny's warm breath on her cheek as she leaned in closer, whispering in her ear.
“I know you want to, Emily. I can feel you. You can't hide it from me. I know you want me to fuck you”.
Danny pinched a shamelessly hard nipple, then caressed it with the palm of her hand.
“No, I don't”, Emily shouted as she put her hands on the dark haired woman's chest, pushing her away. I want you to love me .
Finally, something was getting through to Danny, making her loosen her grip and take a step back.
Emily could feel tears burning behind her eyelids and was powerless to stop them as she watched the woman standing only a few feet away. She loved her so much. But Danny didn't love her back. It was clear. Maybe Danny wanted to fuck her. Emily shook her head at herself. Maybe she would want to even if she wasn't drunk. And then what? Was that all it was between them after all? Was that all there was to it? Was that the truth she had come here in search for?
She had been lying in bed, crying until she couldn't cry any more after she had ended the
conversation she'd had with Tom. Whatever she had thought or even feared as far as Danny was concerned was nothing compared to the actual truth. She had come here, tracking Danny down, driving for hours, in search of the truth. She needed it to be able to go on. She needed to know. Otherwise she would be left wondering for the rest of her life. Wondering what had happened. What could have happened. What could have been.
Once again she realized how little she actually knew the woman she loved. But she hadn't come this far, even leaving her son behind, to stop now.
Danny ran her fingers through her hair as she backed away from the blonde. What the fuck had she done? What the fuck was wrong with her?
The demon. She had always treasured its presence. Wanted it. Needed it. But right then, she damned herself for its mere existence. For letting it control her.
She shook her head, trying to get it to stop spinning. It had been a long time since she had been drinking alcohol and the effects of it had never been kind to her. Now was no exception. Quite the opposite. She started to feel it now. The nausea. The dizziness that overcome her as she turned around to get back into the house. They couldn't be standing here, arguing, on her front porch. She didn't give a fuck about any neighbors watching, that wasn't it. She was afraid that they were watching. She had totally lost track of what she was doing. What she was risking. That they saw Emily. She shouldn't allow Emily to be seen to have any connection to her whatsoever. It was dangerous.
“Come inside, Em”, she said as she motioned for the blonde to follow her. She looked around, trying to check if she could see anything out of the ordinary before closing the door behind Emily as she did as she was instructed after a few seconds hesitation. “It is not safe for you out here”.
She reactivated the security system before leading Emily into the downstairs living room. That's the last thing she remembered before her body gave up its attempts to make her stay upright.
***
Emily looked out through the window in, what she now knew was, Danny's office, silently watching the dark, starlit sky outside. It was a beautiful night, really, crisp and clear, but she had a difficult time appreciating it right then as she would have done any other night. For the millionth time she was questioning whether or not she had done the right thing coming there. She knew that she had been, and still was, driven by her feelings and not common sense. Otherwise, her decision probably would have been another one.
She turned around to watch the sleeping woman on the couch at the other side of the room. She looked so peaceful. So different. Emily had always loved watching Danny while she slept. At those times, she was allowed access to the unguarded, calmer side of her. What she hoped was the true side of her. Her heart ached as she watched her. She still had no idea what she had done, if anything, but no matter what the truth really was behind everything that had happened in Danny's life, she couldn't help feeling sorry for her. Not sorry in any condescending type of way; no she was really, truly sorry. No one should have to experience something like that. No one should have to lose their family. Twice.
Emily had only known what little Tom could tell her about Danny's life before she arrived there, but she had gotten a somewhat better idea during the time she had spent in her house. She still didn't know anything about what had really happened, at least not Danny's part of it, but she had gotten some more sense into what kind of person Danny must have been. What kind of a person Danny still was. The house was beautiful. And large. It must have been five or six times the size of her own. Everything seemed well planned, thought out and modern. Expensive.
Emily hadn't intended to snoop around but she hadn't been able to help herself after she had helped Danny to the couch in her office to lie down. She hadn't managed to do anything on her own by then and seeing the almost empty whisky bottle gave Emily a somewhat clear idea why that was. At least she had found Danny still alive. And somewhat healthy. Except for the passing out on the floor and throwing up, that is. She would probably not remember a thing of it the morning after, Emily thought.
Danny had protested when Emily had suggested she'd go the bedroom to lie down, stating clearly that she didn't want to go there. Emily now understood why. Tears welled up in her eyes when she thought about the bullet holes in the wall behind the large, queen sized bed. There must have been at least ten of them. It looked more like there had been an execution than just a shooting. It was horrible. Emily had never seen anything like it. She had left the room instantly, not wanting to see any of it more than she already had. In fact, she regretted even going in there in the first place. The image of it in her mind would never leave her now. Nor would the pictures she had seen all over the house. On the walls by the stairway leading up to the second floor, as well as in almost every room were photographs of a happy family. Photographs of Danny. Of her son. Of her wife.
Samantha, that's what Tom had said her name was. She was an extremely beautiful woman. She seemed to have been maybe a few years older than Danny. She'd had blonde hair, blue eyes. Emily shook her head at herself yet again. The jealousy that had and still crept up on her was as unwelcome as it was unfamiliar. She had no right to feel that way.
she looked over at Danny again as she heard her stirring, but she didn't wake up. It was just as good. She needed the sleep. So did Emily. She had slept maybe a few hours during the past few days. The worrying and the uncertainty of what she would find, had drained her of almost all her energy. She was so damn tired. Was she a murderer? Her Danny wasn't. At least that's what her treacherous heart told her. But she had seen the other side of her. The darker side. Could she had done it?
God she was tired…
Going over to the couch, she lay down beside the still sleeping Danny. The couch was wide, so there was lot of room for her as well. She turned around, away from the dark haired woman as she closed her eyes. For the first time in days, sleep came to her instantly.
***
Danny woke up from the feeling of a warm body pressed up against her own. For a few moments she had absolutely no idea where the hell she was. Then, slowly everything started coming back to her. Emily. She remembered letting her into the house, but after that everything was black. Almost everything. She had made a fool out of herself. Embarrassed was only half of what she felt. Oh God…
What else she had done after that was beyond her. Had she done anything? Had they?
She hardly had the strength to think at all, her head was pounding like crazy, but she knew that she got what she deserved.
She moved closer to the blonde in front of her, wanting to feel her closer to her. Needing it badly. She knew the best thing she could do, the right thing, would be to get away from her and leave her alone, but she couldn't. She smelled so good. Danny just wanted to hold her. Feel her. Just a little bit more before it would be too late. Before she'd never have the chance again. Emily still didn't know anything about what had happened. What she had done in her past. That's probably why she was still there. Until she would learn the truth.
Danny really just wanted to hold her. That had been her intention, but the longer she lay there, feeling the warm, perfect body next to her, the harder just simply holding became.
“Danny…”
“I know, I'm sorry, but just let me hold you, Emily. Please, I need to feel you.”
She put her arm around Emily's stomach, pressing her closer into her own body. Her hair smelled so good. It was at this point she realized just how much she had actually missed her. The feeling just came over her, as if she had been hit in the head with the realization. She had missed her kindness. Her caring. Her body. How she made her feel.
She moved her hand a little bit further down, slowly, caressing every available inch of delicate skin, acting on instinct. Acting on autopilot. It was as if her hand was made to do this. To touch Emily like this. It was so right. It was as if it was following a pre-decided route. Carrying out a perfect system. An algorithm. And she knew that, as with all algorithms, following it would always give you the same, correct, intended result.
Danny felt more than heard Emily's breath hitch as she reached the soft fabric of her underwear and stopped her caresses, waiting for a sign telling her that what she was doing was unwelcome. No such sign came. Instead, she felt Emily's smaller hand upon her own, pressing it closer before intertwining their fingers. She then felt her hand being lifted to the blonde's mouth, soft, moist lips kissing its palm tenderly. She closed her eyes from the feeling of it. God, she wanted this. Wanted her.
It was probably wrong like everything she ever did seemed to be, but damn, it felt so right.
Danny raised herself up a little, making room for Emily to turn around. She slowly lowered her body down on top of her, resting her arms on the couch beside her. She just watched her, blown away by how beautiful she was. She couldn't believe that someone like that would want to have anything to do with someone like her. She had once again come to help her. Take care of her. None of it she even deserved. Not even close. How could anyone be so extremely unselfish? It was beyond her.
“Do you want this, Emily?”
She had to ask. Had to get confirmation before continuing. The blonde smiled slightly as she nodded her head.
“Yes, I want it, Danny. But I'm warning you… if we do this you are NOT running off again, leaving me behind, cause if you do, I swear to God I'll kill you myself when I find you. And this time you have to promise me”.
Danny closed her eyes. Promises wasn't her strong side. Not that she had a hard time keeping promises herself, but keeping a promise isn't always up to yourself, she knew that.
“Ok, I promise”, Danny whispered. What else could she do.
She leaned in closer to the blonde, kissing her. She had missed the feeling of her soft lips on her own.
The initially tender, searching kiss soon became passionate. Intense. Emily moaned into Danny's mouth as a warm, wet tongue invaded her own. She almost didn't know what to do with herself. Danny felt so damn good as she pressed her hard body more and more into her. Moving her body sensually against her as they kissed. She reached down pulling Danny's boxer panties down her legs as far as she could, needing to feel her closer. She was beyond the point where she could have stopped this from happening. Nothing else mattered right then. Not the past. Not the future. Just there and then.
Danny stopped her movements and stood up, removing her underwear and tank top before returning to her position on top of the blonde. She slowly removed Emily's t-shirt and panties as well, taking her time as she slowly slid them down toned, sexy legs, kissing and licking every inch of smooth skin being revealed.
“What do you want, Emily? What do you want me to do?”
Emily just moaned as she closed her eyes. What did she want? She had no idea. Anything. Everything. She felt as she was about to explode. She just needed something.
Raising her hips up, she grabbed hold of Danny's head, pressing her mouth harder onto her as the kissing and licking continued upwards. Closer.
“Please, Danny”, she moaned as large, competent hands took a firm grip on her breasts, squeezing lightly. God she was so good. She almost wished Danny would skip the damn foreplay, though, because she didn't think she couldn't take much more teasing. She was quickly falling apart. Danny was relentless, though, and had Emily on the brink of insanity before her mouth finally reached the place where it was needed the most. She almost came instantly.
Emily could hardly lie still as Danny's mouth was on her, kissing, licking, sucking. It was exquisite, sexy as hell, but she wanted more. And she knew Danny well enough to know that she was actually fighting to restrain herself to take it slow. To be gentle. For her sake. She knew that gentle was not what Danny needed at that point. Not that night. And neither did she. She didn't need tenderness. She just needed to feel. Needed to forget. To not think. About the past. About what was to come. About consequences.
She reached up to caress her lover's cheek. It was warm, sweaty.
“You don't have to be gentle with me Danny. I won't break. Please just let go. I want you to. I need you to, baby. Please, just f…”.
The pet name just came out, but she hardly registered it as she felt Danny moving up, long fingers suddenly filling her, deeply. She instinctively wrapped her legs around Danny's slim hips, using her strong form as leverage as she moved herself determinedly against the body on top of her.
“Oh, my God…” Emily could do nothing but moan. It felt so good. So, so good.
Danny started moving her fingers. In. Out. In. Out. Slowly at first but then faster. Harder, curling them. She had no other way of showing Emily how she really felt. This was the only way. The only opportunity she would have before it was all over.
She closed her eyes from the feeling of once again being inside of Emily. She was so wet. So warm. It almost made her cry. She pressed herself against her own hand with each, hard thrust, quickly driving herself towards the abyss. She was so fucking afraid and, unknown to her, Emily felt the exact same fear. The fear of this being their last time together like this. The fear of never seeing the other again. That added to the intensity of their lovemaking, making the feeling of it rise exponentially for every second. For every thrust.
Danny came first, her uncontrolled movements throwing Emily over the edge only moments after. She slumped down on top of Emily, totally exhausted. Emily put her arms around Danny's back, caressing it tenderly. She was totally blown away. She was usually not the one to be loud during sex, but this time she had screamed.
They both just lay there for a long time, calming down, treasuring the closeness of the other, before Danny finally spoke.
”Don't take this the wrong way, please, I don't want to be hit again”.
She smiled slightly as she looked up at the blonde. “But why are you here, Emily? Why did you come here, looking for me?” she whispered. She raised herself up slightly.
Emily closed her eyes. Yeah, why had she? Why had she come? There was only one explanation, she knew that.
“Because I love you, Danny”.
She could see Danny shaking her head.
Determined to make the other woman see that she meant it, she made Danny look at her, turning her face towards her own. Emily could see tears in Danny's eyes.
“Why, Em?” she said. “You don't know me. You don't know anything. How can you say that you love me? After how I've treated you”
“Because I do. That's how I feel. You keep telling me that I don't know anything. That I don't know you. So, please, Danny, start telling me. Goddamnit, just tell me!”
Danny closed her eyes as she lay back down on Emily's chest. She couldn't look at her. She'd made up her mind, though. She would tell her. She owed Emily as much. Then it was up to her what she wanted to do. She would keep her promise. She wouldn't run. After she was done with her story, though, she was sure that Emily would. There was nothing she could do about that. But at least she would be safe.
She took a deep breath as she began telling the story that started seventeen years earlier.
As always, please feed me at l.kay131@gmail.com