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For disclaimers see chapter one...
Chapter nine
A nightmare. That's what it was. A God damn nightmare. Nothing less. Just that. Only, Emily wasn't asleep. She wouldn't wake up from this and find out that it wasn't true. And she knew it. There was no way she would wake up and find that nothing of this was real. That it was just a bad dream.
For five days, she had stayed like this. Sitting on this hard, white, plastic chair, beside Danny's hospital bed. With her head resting against Danny's still unmoving body. Holding her cold hand. Crying. She hadn't left her side even for a second. Except for when Danny was in surgery. Those was the only times she hadn't been next to her. She had even made the hospital staff allow her to be with Danny even after visiting hours. She had refused to leave her side. No one had dared to object.
They had operated on Danny twice during the first two days. Sitting there, waiting, had been pure and simple horror for Emily. The doctors hadn't been able to promise her anything. If she would be ok or not. If she would live. They still couldn't. No one knew yet. The next 48 hours would be crucial, they said. Her condition was critical, but stable at the moment, but all of that could change. And quickly too.
It was all up to Danny now. Up to her own will to survive. To come out of this alive. Emily knew what that meant, she was a nurse after all. You could do everything in your power for a patient, medically, but beyond that, it was all up to the person's own will, their strength, if they would pull through in the end or not.
The problem was that, in this case, Emily wasn't so sure that Danny actually would want to get out of this alive if she had a choice of her own. She knew that part of her thought that it would actually be better for everyone if she was dead. And that Emily was no exception in Danny's mind; it would be better for her as well. That scared her more than anything. So, Emily kept sitting there by Danny's side, holding her hand, talking to her. Telling her that she wasn't allowed to die. That she would never be able to go on with her own life if that happened. And that she loved her. So very, very, much.
Emily never got an answer or even as much as some small movement of any kind. Nothing. But she kept on anyway, hoping that wherever Danny was, she could hear her. What she was saying. Her pleading.
God, she was stupid. Why the hell had she done what she had done? She shouldn't have made Danny do what she did. Not that she had made her do it in the sense that she had forced her, but she knew that Danny would have acted differently if it wasn't for Emily. If she hadn't been there. She had probably made her feel safer that she obviously should. Made her think, or at least believe, that they could somehow get out of this. Together. Made her let her guard down. Maybe Danny was right. Maybe this never would be over. She knew that Danny had been driven by the thought of finding the man who was responsible for the death of her family the whole time before they met. To kill him. She hadn't spoke of it in so many words, but Emily was convinced that that was what she referred to when she spoke of her “mission”. The thought of that had scared Emily as hell, not wanting her to go through with it. To do something like that. The killing of more people could never be a good thing. A way to solve things. The more she sat by Danny's side, though, when one day after the other passed by without Danny waking up; the principles and beliefs she thought she'd had and always would stand by, changed more and more. Maybe the truth was that some people didn't deserve to live. Not people like that. And Emily knew that if that man; the man who had taken Danny's family from her and maybe would take Danny from her as well, was there in front of her, she would kill him herself. But none of that mattered any more, either.
Emily had just been so taken with everything that day. With Danny. With how she had looked. She hadn't been able to think of anything else, if she even had been thinking at all. Danny had decided, for some reason, to go to her office. To get some things, she'd said. What things was still unclear to Emily. So Danny had put on a dark grey, three-piece suit, perfectly tailored, together with a starched, white shirt. She had ‘boss' written all over her. She had been so damn sexy, she'd made Emily's head spin. She had looked so powerful. Majestic. Dangerous.
And now, five days later Emily didn't even know if Danny would ever wake up again.
The ambulance had been there within 10 minutes after the shooting. Who had called 911, Emily still didn't know. One of the neighbors , probably. There had been quite a lot of people out, moving about since it had been a Thursday afternoon. Still, the police claimed to have found no witnesses who had seen enough to be able to identify who had done it. Sure, many of them had seen and described the car, but knowing that it had been a black BMW wasn't much help. The licence plate hadn't given them anything either, since it had been reported stolen a few days prior to the shooting. It didn't matter. No one had to tell Emily who had done it. She knew who. At least who was responsible. People like him probably didn't do the dirty work themselves. And they hardly ever got to pay for the things they did, either.
The police had come to talk to her at the hospital on several occasions. Every damn day, in fact. Checking if Danny had woken up. If they could question her. Emily always told them the same thing. That she didn't know much. She didn't know what to say, that wouldn't cause even more trouble for Danny. She had killed a man that Emily knew of, and God knows what else she had done. Emily didn't want Danny to survive this, just to be thrown I prison. She had said that she couldn't trust the police.
Danny had been shot two times. Her situation was critical to say the least. She had lost a lot of blood and they hadn't been able to get her heart started until they'd arrived in the ER. She had never woken up since then. She had just been lying there, pale and unmoving. Looking like no more than a shadow of her normal self. Helpless. Fragile. Balancing on a thin line between life and death. They had put her in an induced coma during the first three days. To help her body heal, they had said. Two days ago they had reversed it. But still nothing had happened. She breathed on her own at the moment, but she hadn't woken up. Emily had tried to get as much information out of the doctors as she could, but they didn't tell her much. She wasn't a close relative. She wasn't Danny's wife. She was just the girlfriend, however self-proclaimed.
The doctors had said that Danny had been lucky, though, despite everything. One bullet had hit her spleen, which they'd had to remove and the other one had pierced through the upper right side of her chest, merely millimetres from grazing the aorta. A little bit further to the left and Danny would have died right there on the spot, whether she had gotten any help or not.
They still weren't sure if she would wake up, and if she would, what type of condition she would be in by then. CPR had been performed on her body the whole time, by Emily herself at first, after she had drawn herself out of the initial shock, and then by the paramedics. But it had taken them over 20 minutes to get her heart started and no one knew how much damage had been done to Danny's brain in that time. Only time would tell.
Emily had called her brother at some time during the afternoon the day before. She had told him everything that had happened. Everything. She wasn't sure she could handle all of this alone. Cope with all of this. The worrying. She was so scared. Scared of what she would do if Danny didn't wake up. If she died. She could hardly even handle the thought of it.
That she would never see Danny again. Hear her voice. Hold her in her arms.
Emily remembered the last time they were together.
She could still feel it in her whole body, as always. It was only five days ago. But now it felt as if an eternity had passed since then.
They had been in the shower. They had only meant to get a shower. Clean themselves up. Really. But none of them had been able to keep their hands off the other. Emily certainly couldn't. Just looking at Danny's hard, gorgeous, sexy body made her own react in ways that couldn't be ignored. So, washing up had led to other things, many other things.
Danny had been standing behind her, pressing her own body closely against Emily's, washing her back at first. She had reached her arm around Emily's waist, caressing her belly. Her breasts. After a while, she had moved her hand further down, moving it slowly in circles. Then back and forth. Emily had had to lean her hands against the white tiles from the intensity of how it felt, just hanging on for dear life. She had climaxed twice.
After that, Emily had been in the one in control. The whole time. They had made love once more. Twice. Three times. She had done her best to drive Danny insane. And she had done just that. Danny had come in her mouth, holding Emily's head in a fierce grip the whole time. She had been so proud of herself. The always so strong and powerful Danny had been reduced to nothing more than a 150 pound puddle of jello once Emily was finished with her.
But again, nothing of that meant anything right now. That was then and now, everything had changed. Nothing mattered to Emily anymore, except for Danny to survive. That was all she wanted. That was all she cared about. She knew that she wouldn't be able to go on otherwise. Emily knew that if Danny died, she would take a piece of herself with her. She would never be the same after that. She had no doubt.
Tom had been more understanding than Emily would have thought him to be, considering what they both knew, but not enough so. So, for Emily, nothing Tom had said had been good enough for her. They had argued, which they normally didn't do. Emily knew that he was still like that because of what had happened with Mike, but again, that was not the same thing as this. Danny and her. Far from it.
She understood where he came from, sure, but everything felt as if it had been turned upside down just the same. He had even hung up on her after a while, so Emily had had to continue the conversation with Jen instead. Her sister-in-law had always been more like a big sister to her than anything else, so she was happy to be able to talk to her about all of this. She didn't say much, only listened to what Emily had to say. Emily was grateful for that.
They had decided that Tom and Jen would leave their kids with Emily's parents and then they would bring Max with them and come to be with her for a few days. Tom didn't have any say in the matter by then. Jen had said they would stay with her as long as she wanted them to. That they would help her. Emily had broken down once again as she spoke to her. She had tried to be strong. For herself. For Danny. But right then, she'd had no way of controlling her emotions. She felt so damn alone. She missed all of them. She missed her son. And she missed Danny.
***
Emily had finally fallen asleep when there was a knock on the door a few hours later. She had been sitting there the whole time, holding Danny's hand, looking at the, for now, regular sinus curves on the heart monitor at the head of the hospital bed. Listening to the rhythmic beeping sound which showed her that Danny was still alive and with her. Heartbeat by heartbeat.
It was torture for Emily, watching it, but she couldn't stop. It was as if she had been hypnotized by it. That was all she could think about and for every beep, her thoughts got worse. Darker. The ‘what ifs' became intolerable. She was almost going insane. From the waiting. The waiting for the sinus curves to finally flatline. The waiting for the rhythmic beeps to turn into a single, continuous one.
The fatigue had finally taken her over and when she woke up as her sister-in-law shook her shoulder lightly to inform her of their presence, she was actually relieved. She knew that she had needed the sleep. And probably more than she had gotten now. There was nothing she could do for Danny at this point, no matter how long she sat there, staring at the monitor in front of her, willing it to continue its reassuring beeping, she realized that, but as long as it had been up to her heart and not her brain, she hadn't been able to stop.
She gave both her brother and his wife a hug as she got up from the chair for the first time in hours.
“How are you holding up, Em?” Tom asked.
Emily tried her best to not look as broken as she felt as she reached out for her son to come to her. She was afraid that he would still be angry and disappointed in her, but that didn't seem to be the case at all as he gave her a big hug.
“As well as can be expected, I guess”, she said, looking over at her brother. He smiled slightly towards her, reassuringly. Jen had probably had one of her talks with him on their way there. Emily smiled. God, she loved her sister-in-law.
She took her son in her arms, kissing his blonde head as she removed the always present blue Patriots cap. She sat back down on the chair with her son on her lap. God, she had missed him.
“Have you been a good boy for mummy, Max?”
She kissed him again as he nodded his head affirmatively.
“Mummy?” he asked as Emily saw him looking over towards Danny's bed. She knew that Tom had told him what had happened. Not the details, since he was only five, but that Danny was very sick.
“What is it, honey?”
Emily ran her fingers through his short, blonde hair. A few seconds passed before he continued.
“I really miss Danny, mummy. Is she gonna die?”
Emily felt the lump in her throat return. God… What was she going to say? She didn't even know the answer to that question herself. She gave him a firm embrace, looking him in the eyes. As always, she figured it would be best to be honest.
“I don't know, honey. Danny is very sick, but the doctors are doing all they can to help her get well, ok. Danny is strong, you know. We'll just have to wait and see. And, maybe if you go to her and tell her how you feel, she'll hear you. I'm sure she would love that. She misses you too”.
Max looked over towards Danny's bed again. Emily knew that he was thinking about something. She recognized that serious look of his. Sometimes he simply seemed to wise for his age. She had never realized it before, but ever since she'd met Danny, every time he looked like that, he reminded Emily of her. It was so weird.
After a while, he smiled. A wide, sincere smile.
“Yeah, I know”, he said. “Danny is really strong. When she was living with us, she used to lift me up above her head and spin me around. That was really fun!”
He hopped off his mother's lap and walked up to Danny's bed, taking her large hand in his own, much smaller one.
“When you get well, Danny, were gonna go back to the lake and then I'm gonna show you how good I can swim now. Uncle Tom and me were at the pool yesterday and now I can swim really good. So, when you wake up I'm gonna show you”.
He then brought Danny's hand to his mouth and kissed it.
“I love you Danny. Please wake up”.
That's when Emily lost It for real. She tried to wipe away the tears that fell helplessly down her face, but her hands weren't fast enough.
She felt as if she would really break down this time. It was heartbreaking to watch her normally so quiet and introvert son act like that. To be so open with what he felt. Once again, as so many times before she damned his, so called, father for causing him to become that way. She was so glad he wouldn't have to see him anymore.
She looked over at Jen, seeing the questioning look on her face. She too had tears in her eyes. Emily smiled slightly.
“I know”, she said, shaking her head. “When I watch him like this, he reminds me so much of Danny. If I didn't know better, I would think that he was hers and not Mike's. They are so alike”.
“Yeah”, her sister-in-law said as she wiped her face with the palm of her hand. “He hasn't been talking about anything else but Danny these past few days with us. It was always Danny this and Danny that. I don't think I've ever heard him talk so much”.
She looked over at Tom, who nodded as well. He smiled at Emily as he opened his arms.
“Come here, Em. I'm sorry ok, I'm just so damn worried about you, about all of this, you know that right?”
Emily closed her eyes as he embraced her. She hated fighting with him. He kissed her forehead and Emily could feel that he was smiling.
“And now, as your older brother, I've decided that you are going to go down to the cafeteria and get something to eat. I suspect that you haven't been doing much of that these past few days, right? Jen and I will stay here and keep Danny company, ok? No arguing”, he continued before Emily had the chance to do just that. She really didn't want to leave, but at the same time she knew that he was right. So for once, she did as he said.
***
Beep. Beep. Beep
What was that sound?
Beep. Beep. Beep
What was that? Danny recognized it, but couldn't place it. The sound irritated her. She just wanted to go back to sleep. She tried to open her eyes, but they felt as if having been glued closed. She tried to lift her hand to her face, but didn't manage that either. God, everything hurt like hell. Her whole body. She felt as if she had been hit by a fucking truck. What the hell was this? Where was she? She almost started to panic from the feeling of not being able to move. What the hell?
In between the continuous beeping, she heard voices. Whispering voices, sounding as if coming from far away. She didn't recognize them, but the sound of them calmed her a little. Apparently, she wasn't alone. Wherever the hell she was.
She was lying down, that much she could make out. She also felt some kind of light pressure on her right side, as if something was there, on her body. Danny tried to lift her arm again, but she still didn't manage. What the fuck was this?
After a while, she heard what sounded like a door opening and after that the addition of yet another voice. This one she recognized. Clearly.
Emily. It was Emily's voice.
That's when everything came back to her. Everything that had happened. The shooting. Oh, my God! She could feel her heart speeding up, which caused the beeping to become faster. She had been shot. Anger welled up inside her. The fucking bastard! She remembered it clearly now. She had seen the black BMW coming as it had turned around the corner and onto her street. There had been no doubt whatsoever in her mind what was going to happen. The right, front window opened. She couldn't see who was sitting there or who was driving the car, but that wasn't important. She knew who had sent them. Turning around she forcefully pushed Emily away. Away from her. As far away as she could. She heard the shots go off. Two of them. Then came the pain. It was so intense, she had never felt anything like it. She felt herself fall down, hitting the ground. Her last thought had been of Emily. Had she been hit? Was she ok?
Then everything went black.
Danny tried to take a deep breath, almost passing out again from the pain in her chest. Fuck!
She needed to wake up. Really wake up. So she tried to move her arm again, this time being a little bit more successful. She heard herself hiss as the slight movement made her chest feel as if someone was stabbing her with a knife. But she didn't care. Not about herself. Hearing Emily's voice made her even more motivated. At least Emily was alive. That was all she cared about. Not her own pain. She could take that any day, every day, as long as Emily was ok. She reached her hand out a little bit further. This time she felt what seemed to be a hand. A small hand. She squeezed it lightly, feeling small fingers squeeze hers back.
“Danny?” she heard a voice ask. “Danny, wake up”.
Max. It was Max? Danny tried to open her eyes once more. Willing them to. She felt as if she was almost blinded as the light reached her retina for the first time in days. Her head was pounding, but she forced her eyes to stay open. The first thing she saw was a pair of blue-green eyes staring at her from only inches away. She managed to smile at that point. She couldn't help herself.
“Maximilian Bryant, huh? The boy with the best name in the whole world”.
She saw him smile towards her, before turning away.
“Mummy!” he yelled. “Danny's awake!”
Danny heard fast steps approaching her. Then she laid tired eyes on the most beautiful woman she had ever seen.
“Hi, Emily”, she said.
To be continued in chapter ten...