The drive had been slow-going and there had been many times when Mariel had wondered whether being on the road in this kind of weather was wise. Luckily, the four-wheel drive of her Jeep helped keep them going and safe. Everything was starting to feel like a slippery road, ever since the phone call this morning.
They had said nothing before they left, each tending to their own thoughts as they prepared to go out into the cold winter night. It had stopped snowing around 8 and now everything was crisp, white, and dark. Tina put on the clothes she had arrived in, fresh from the dryer in Mariel's apartment building. Mariel put on her boots and a thick grey jacket, down-lined and warm. Before they left, the young doctor had put together a few sandwiches for the road, knowing that a bowl of soup was not enough to sustain the detective for any length of time. Mariel had done all of this with a feeling of stunned shock, unable to figure out what was going on.
"Don't you think we should talk about this?"
Mariel finally broke the silence as they made their way through the virtually deserted streets towards Tina's Lincoln Park apartment. It was bad enough having to deal with feeling alone in the car with someone, it was quite another thing to be left out of something this big. Nothing drove Mariel Potidean crazier than to be left in the dark and clueless. This was what had driven her during her studies, the quest for knowledge and insight. She had a knack for talking to anyone and retrieving some kernel of information, no matter how small, from them. Her skill as a clever, adept interviewer as well as thoroughly researching the background of every case was what had earned her high praise in her department and from her boss, Agent Ephran. Indeed, after the Cirra case, Mariel had even received notice from Quantico in the form of a letter from director Louis Freeh's office. But right now, none of that mattered because the silence of one tall private detective was killing her.
"It's a little...complicated."
This was Tina's response accompanied by a sigh. Mariel looked in the rear view mirror of the Jeep and signaled, pulling into a Chevron station and putting the car in park. Turning toward the detective, Mariel finally cracked.
"Complicated? That's all you have to say? It's a little complicated?? Bullshit! Look, you are going to tell me what the hell is going on because I am not driving another inch until I have some answers, dammit! You can't just call me up out of the damn blue and show up back in my life and then get killed in some apartment fire and expect me to just understand this little complication you're involved in. Do you know that I worried for literally one month, day in and day out when you didn't call and I couldn't find you. Did you know what I did the next month you were gone? I tried to forget I ever knew you. I tried to erase everything that happened in October out of my mind. And finally, I think I have everything settled and in place and I'm no longer hurting and I'm chalking it all up to experience and you call me. And all of a sudden, you're a flesh and blood person in my life again and now I'm supposed to wait for you to tell me what's going on? I have done my waiting, Tina Amphipoli, and you are going to explain right here and right now before I drive up to your burned out apartment and identify your body. Got it?"
Mariel took a breath and exhaled. Tina had sat there quietly while the rush of words had filled the car. For a time, the agent wondered if she would get a response. She watched as Tina looked at her and nodded her head.
"Okay."
Mariel fought against the instinct to strangle this one-word detective and worked on her patience instead. With a tilt of her head, she signaled for Tina to go on. Instead, the detective took a bite out of the sandwich in her hand and chewed, swallowing before she spoke.
"I was sent on an assignment out of the country. I completed my work and now they want me dead. The end."
Mariel nearly finished the job for "them" right then and there. Pointing her black gloved finger at the investigator, she shook her head and narrowed her eyes.
"Oh no, that's not gonna do, sister. More."
Tina sighed and smiled just a little. The young doctor shook her head and smiled a little back, hoping for some levity or at least a little less tension between them.
"Okay, Mariel, I'm sorry. You're right. But don't say I didn't warn you about the complications."
A chuckle escaped Mariel as she nodded.
"Believe me, it can't be as complicated as I imagined. You didn't go off and join the circus only to be kidnaped by a band of gypsies looking for 6-foot blue-eyed women to sacrifice to the gods and then manage to escape using only a dime and a shoelace, did you?"
Tina laughed and shook her head. Mariel relaxed and felt some of the easiness they once had together sort of sweep over her. It came back just as strong as ever and helped erase a few months of feeling a little lost and a lot alone. Sure, the hurt and rejection was buried somewhere, but Tina was here now and despite everything, Mariel felt herself respond to this woman. Hearing the detective chuckle her reply, she smiled.
"Believe me, a band of gypsies would have been a walk in the park."
Tina paused slightly before her expression turned serious.
"Mariel, I am sorry for the way I left, but I had no choice at the time. I would have put you in danger had I contacted you. As it is, you're already in danger now for helping me and I regret that."
"I'm a big girl, I think I can handle it, you know."
Mariel tried not to get angry, even though she always bristled at being made to feel like she wasn't capable. Much of this came from her mother when she was growing up. As much as Barbara Potidean had encouraged her daughters, she had also tried to protect them to the point where Mariel and her sister felt smothered. Their mother would worry endlessly about hidden dangers lurking around every corner. Lisa's rebellion had been to run off and seek out those dangers firsthand. Mariel's rebellion had been to confront the dangerous by cornering it and using her brain and instincts to rob it of its power. Along the way, the scientist fought to overcome long-ingrained feelings of inadequacy. Most of the time, she won.
"I know you can handle yourself, Mariel, I've seen that firsthand, remember?"
Tina spoke softly as she continued.
"But the people who are involved in this are very powerful. I'm lucky to be alive right now."
This brought the seriousness of the situation back into relief for Mariel. It was true, Tina had apparently escaped something very deadly and had managed to get back to her alive so that was saying something. Tina had picked her, Mariel, to return to and that also said something.
"Can you tell me who these people are?"
With a shake of her head, Tina looked out the window at a car pulling into the gas station, its red brake lights glowing against her face.
"I'm not entirely sure who they all are, but I have my suspicions and it's not pretty. I think tonight will provide some of the answers though."
Mariel rested her hands on the steering wheel and looked at the lights on her dashboard.
"Can you tell me where you were and how you got hurt?"
The forensic scientist glanced over at Tina, watching the dark woman's eyes go distant.
"I was in Colombia and I got shot."
Trying to appear neutral and unfazed by this information, Mariel continued with the questions in hopes that the answers would keep coming.
"Okay, can you tell me why?"
Tina looked over at her before Mariel spoke again.
"I know, it's complicated, but could you at least help me understand how we got to this place?"
The detective took a breath and answered softly, her voice betraying a little of what she was feeling.
"We got here because I made a choice I regret making and I don't know how I'm going to make it right again. I don't know if I can explain to you why I did everything I did and whether or not you're going to want to hear it. All I know is that, right now at this time and in this place, I am where I have wanted to be for a long time."
Mariel felt her chest tighten as she looked into Tina's eyes. The emotion she had been trying most to suppress threatened to make its way out of her at the detective's words and the look on her face. Hope was something she really really wanted to feel during those months Tina was gone. Mariel wanted to hope that what they had had together wasn't just some long weekend fling or some kind of one-time only experience. She wanted to hope that what she had felt was real and true and that Tina had felt it was well. Mariel wanted to hope for that feeling and she wanted to wish for it. And it made her body physically hurt wanting that, so much so that she swallowed it down deep inside, something she had done when Tina had left. She would be more careful this time.
"Okay."
Tina looked at her and waited patiently before Mariel felt like she could say more.
"So, can you tell me who's dead in your apartment?"
The detective shook her head before she sat back in her seat, closing her eyes and whispering.
"I pray it's not who I think it is."
Taking her gloves off, Mariel looked at her watch and then rubbed her eyes. It was ten and most likely, it would be very late before they got any sleep. She turned to Tina and looked at her profile against the snowy dark night.
"What's the plan then? Whoever was responsible for the fire thinks they got you. You can't just show up there."
Tina took a deep breath and looked at Mariel with a nod.
"You're right. This will buy me some time and breathing room. Listen, I'm going to have to check on something."
Mariel narrowed her eyes, feeling left out again and not liking it one bit. It was becoming too much to control her emotions and her anger seeped out again.
"Check on what, Tina? We can't operate like this. You can't be all vague and expect me to follow along like some damn lackey. I won't do it."
With some amount of emotion coming out of her as well, Tina's voice rumbled.
"You wanna know? Fine, I'll tell you. I'm going to see if Layla is alive and safe or if she's laying in my apartment burned to a crisp because I asked her to water my fucking plants while I was gone. Is that too vague for you?"
Mariel felt like she had been stung by the slap of a hand across her face. Blinking, she looked at Tina and then out the window. Layla had helped during the Cirra case and had been nice to her, giving advice that was wise beyond her years.
"Jesus."
The Jeep was silent and warm, despite the cold outside. The night had become heavy with the inches of snow on the ground and feelings that had fallen down upon them. This whole thing had become one big mess. Mariel had gone to bed the night before blissfully unaware that her life was going to change again the next morning. Now, Tina's arrival brought with it such a whirlwind of emotion and drama that the young doctor wasn't sure what to do next. Gathering her thoughts, Mariel let her instincts inform her decision.
"Okay. How about this, you drop me off a few blocks from your place and I'll play dumb with Eph again. I don't like it, but I'll do it. I'll get as much information as I can from CSI. You take the Jeep and go check on Layla."
Mariel paused before she whispered, "God, I hope she's okay."
Tina glanced over and softened a little. Mariel felt the detective's hand on her arm and she looked at Tina as the detective spoke.
"You sure?"
With a nod, Mariel replied.
"Yeah, I think that's our best bet, don't you? I'll tell Eph I took a cab down here because of the weather and get a ride home with her. We can meet up later back at my place, assuming you want to stay there?"
Mariel let her eyes wander over Tina's face, wondering how one woman could inspire so many emotions in her all at once. She didn't know what she was going to do or feel next and she wasn't entirely sure she liked what was going on. But she also couldn't deny that whatever it was that passed between them in October was so strong that she felt compelled to see if there was any chance of having that again, damn the rest of it all. She was at war with herself, to approach this woman but avoid that hurt. All of this because of a phone call at six in the morning in January.
"Yeah, I'd like that. Please."
And with that, Tina helped stir the pot of emotions inside Mariel. She could see that the private investigator wanted and needed her again. It may not be forever or even tomorrow, but it was enough for now.