The Court session had begun with a reading of the indictment against Thanos. All charges were brought forward in the Queen's name. Evidence was presented, the most damning were the scrolls holding Thanos' seal. Thanos had presented a meager defense; having been found out, he arrogantly argued that he could not be punished for trying to save Greece from a Queen imposter and a disinterested Sovereign.
Gabrielle gave Thanos opportunity to disgrace himself and by his own words he had. She knew that whatever reservations Court members held regarding Thanos' arrest, she had settled their worst qualms and won them over to her. "Lord Thanos, have you anything else to say in your defense?"
"You are intent on ruining me. You have been deaf to my protests. What good will it do to continue this charade?"
Gabrielle was confounded by Thanos' obtuseness. "Ruin you? You misjudge me. I have let your cousin Bavavos live, leaving his final judgment to our Sovereign, not because I find the prospect of sentencing him distasteful, but because the Conqueror shall have her retribution. I do not envy him. As for you, Sir, you are more than ruined. You will be crucified at daybreak."
Thanos fell to his knees in shock.
Gabrielle continued. "Your property shall be held in trust until a proper distribution to deserving Grecians can be completed. Your wife and daughter will be exiled with sufficient funds to afford a humble livelihood for three moons, no more. Your four sons will follow you to the cross. The House of Thanos will be nothing to Greece except the agonizing flesh slowly dying upon lifeless trees on the hill outside the east city gate."
"No, not my sons! Tatios is only seven."
"Sons mature to become vengeful men." Gabrielle stepped down and knelt on one knee, looking at the traitor eye to eye. "I love my Lord more than life itself. When you targeted the Conqueror all compassion within me was severed. I will do whatever I must to safeguard the Conqueror. Your sons are a minor price."
"Please, there must be a way to save them."
Gabrielle stood up. "General Jared."
No different than the members of Court, Jared watched the exchange between Gabrielle and Thanos with sober appreciation. Gabrielle was unwavering in her resolve to lead Greece with a will equal to Xena's. She had succeeded, leaving no doubts as to her strength of character. "Your Majesty."
"Pose your questions a second time. No answer shall be accepted without corroborating evidence. A condemned man will say anything to save his sons."
"Yes, Your Majesty." The General ordered Thanos, "Stand up!"
The ruined man did as told.
Gabrielle addressed him. "Think hard before you answer the General's questions. Any attempt to deceive will only increase the pain you and your sons will suffer." The Queen scanned the room "And I say this to those of you witnessing these proceedings. Our Sovereign and I will entertain your concerns. We offer an open and honest forum to debate and negotiate the policies of Greece without negative consequences. Citizens who choose acts of treason such as those perpetrated by the former Lord Thanos will follow him to Tartarus." Gabrielle paused, allowing her words to make the desired impression. "If there are no pressing issues, this session of Court is closed."
The following morning Gabrielle sat at her desk, unrolled a blank scroll, picked up her quill and dipped it into the ink well. She regretted that instead of traveling to the retreat she would be sending a message.
My Lord,
I must report that another fortnight is required before the final outcome of the House of Thanos can be determined. Lord Thanos maintains the exclusivity of his treason against Corinth. He has offered the locations of where correspondence is hidden. General Jared dispatched three units on the hunt for these documents, which Thanos swears will vindicate his youngest sons.
I have stayed Thanos' execution until final resolution of this affair. For now I send, for your review, a transcript of Thanos' confession.
Once again I beg your pardon for my delay.
Faithfully,
Gabrielle, Queen of Greece
Having completed the formal dispatch, she proceeded with a personal note.
My Love,
The days, more so the nights, pass too slowly as I wait the moment I can return to Megara.
Thanos lost all arrogance upon hearing my sentence. Had he acted against anyone other than you I might have felt pity for him. I confess I had none. He must have sensed the depth of my anger because he finally answered Jared's questions. He offered more information than requested. I believe he did so in the hope of securing my mercy. I pray that the youngest sons can be spared. Time will tell if the Fates are kind to them.
The scene in Court would have heartened you. The nobles stood silent. They were clearly cold against Thanos. You may well be right that the worst of Greece's internal dissension has been uncloaked. As Lord Judais said to me, "It is one thing to argue with the throne, it is another to sell Greece to Rome."
I have sent along more foodstuffs from Makia's kitchen. She is determined to help get you well. I can only smile in seeing the depth of her affection for you.
Your mother has written, asking for further news. It would ease her heart to have word directly from you.
I will close for now.
With all my love,
Gabrielle
Xena was disappointed to learn of Gabrielle's delay. Her nightmares continued. It was difficult for her to keep hold of her hope. She could not express her fears, not even to Stephen. She longed for Gabrielle in flesh and blood. The Gabrielle of her present life was a fragmented composition. Gabrielle resided in Xena's dreams and her dreams proved to be unreliable markers of her fate. In Xena's waking hours, Gabrielle was made real by the Guardsmen who looked forward to their sister's storytelling. Gabrielle was also made real by Tess' sincere interest in learning more about her Queen. Gabrielle was never more real than her words on parchment. Her messages were tangible evidence of life beyond Messene. Xena did not have confidence in her life. Megara alone could not overcome Messene's impress upon her mind.
Xena took a quill in hand. She had deferred any correspondence with her mother leaving the task to Gabrielle. Xena wanted to get well enough to travel to Amphipolis, walk into the inn and greet her mother without fanfare. She wanted life to be simple, to allow her physical presence to speak for her. Finding the words to alleviate her mother's worry was far more difficult.
Dear Mother,
I'm sorry it has taken this long for me to write. I hope you are well.
Gabrielle keeps Corinth while I remain in Megara. It may still be some time before I can travel home. I will come to you as soon as I am able. I promise a long visit. You will have every opportunity to spoil me.
For now I am being well cared for. You know Dalius. He is always present though I don't need his tending as I did upon arrival. Gabrielle has employed the services of a fine servant to attend to me. I believe you would approve of Tess. The Queen's Guard is ever present. I am safe.
It is best that you remain in Amphipolis. We are still uncertain of the state of Greece. I do not want you in the middle of the intrigue.
I love you.
Your daughter,
Xena
It was late when Gabrielle and her escort arrived in Megara. Torches lit the courtyard.
Stephen met her. "Welcome back, you've been missed." He took hold of Argo's bridle. "Hey girl. Your mistress will be happy to see you."
Gabrielle dismounted. She reached out for her partner with her senses. She was disappointed by the lack of connection. "Where is Xena?"
"I last saw her last on the beach."
"How is she?"
Stephen hesitated. "Physically, she is healing."
Gabrielle's anxiety increased. "But?"
"It is never easy to tell with her. We've talked a few times. She seems well during the day, but she doesn't sleep at night."
"How do you know?"
"She calls out when her nightmares strike."
Xena's lack of sleep troubled Gabrielle. "Could you stable Argo? I want her to be a surprise."
Gabrielle walked toward the house. Feeling observed she looked to her left. Near the Guardsmen's quarters Trevor stood silently. She knew they needed to talk. It would wait.
Reaching the boardwalk Gabrielle called out to the standing Guardsman. "Sam!"
Samuel smiled broadly; a wash of relief replaced his lingering unease. "You're a sight for sore eyes."
Gabrielle embraced her brother. "Where is she?"
Gabrielle followed his gaze toward the cove. She could see a fire and Xena in profile, resting against a boulder. The sight broke though Gabrielle's strongest defenses. She did not want to expect too much. She did not want to be disappointed if Xena had failed to make significant progress in her healing.
Gabrielle walked toward her partner. She paused a few paces from her target. The fire cast a flickering shadow over Xena's face. She was asleep. Gabrielle closed her eyes. She felt fear. It was difficult to reconcile Xena's emotion with the tranquility of her repose.
Gabrielle knelt down. She carefully took Xena by the hand and whispered her name calling her from her sleep.
Xena woke. She looked to Gabrielle with disbelieving eyes. A single tear fell down her cheek.
Gabrielle's concern rose. Her voice was a hush. "Xena, what's wrong?"
The warrior gave no answer.
Gabrielle gently squeezed Xena's hand. "Love, please don't shut me out."
Xena remained silent, enmeshed in a tangle of thoughts she could not trust. Surrounded by darkness and the lone light of the fire, Megara was nothing more that a tormenting unrequited dream. For a wisp of time she believe she had all she could ever wish for. She was alive and sharing her life with Gabrielle, Greece was never stronger internally and nations had reason to think twice before challenging the realm. Each time she believed in Megara the lash jerked her body back. Each time the pain intensified. To reach out to Gabrielle was to invite the lash and its excruciating burn and tear of flesh. Her voice quivered, "Are you real? Is this a dream? Gabrielle… am I still under the lash?"
The questions staggered Gabrielle. "Xena… No love, it's over. You're safe now. We're in Megara. I brought you here just as I promised I would. You're healing from your wounds."
Xena choked her words. "I want to believe you..."
Gabrielle was at a loss. "How can I prove it to you?"
Xena looked away.
Gabrielle shifted, kneeling in front of the warrior. "Xena, look at me."
Hesitantly Xena turned her gaze to her lover.
"There must be a way to prove to you that I am… that we are real."
"I came here." Xena placed her hand down upon the sand. "Right here. It was after dusk. There was a small fire." She looked to Gabrielle. "I was with you and I was happy. But, then you were gone. I don't know why you left me. Had I done something to offend you? I'm afraid if I believe in you … if I try to be with you that you'll slip away from me again."
Gabrielle now knew that they had shared Megara during Xena's scourging. It had not been a dream. It was not her imagination willing an escape from torture. She also knew that it was not Xena who left her. It was she who left Xena. The sounds of the scourging, the count, the pause in living, where all was focused on the infliction of torture had taken Gabrielle back to a time when she was the one who stood between two poles, her wrists bound by leather thongs, held exposed to Tracate's precisely aimed lash, his voice reciting the count until it reached ten. By the tenth stroke she neared unconsciousness and the purpose of the exercise lost meaning.
In Messene the count had not stopped at ten. Another man with a whip had entered her life. There was no escaping him. Through her connection with Xena she felt the lash burn her skin. The past and present merged.
Gabrielle feared she was losing Xena, the fault her own. She had not been strong enough to hold Xena to Megara. She failed miserably in her role as Xena's protector. Gabrielle collapsed onto Xena's lap. Regret racked her body. She relived her helplessness. "I'm sorry… I'm so sorry."
Still feeling remote, Xena was confused by Gabrielle's reaction. It was like nothing she had experienced in her dreams. Always Gabrielle slipped away. Always the lash answered her desire for a kiss. She looked down to Gabrielle in wonder. The depth of her partner's pain contradicted the willful rebellion she knew Gabrielle housed against those who would do them harm. Seeing Gabrielle distraught roused Xena's deepest instinct to protect her partner, to identify and neutralize what threatened her. Xena scanned their surroundings. She affirmed the familiar landscape of Megara. No harm had ever come to them in this haven. They were never more free, more honest with one another. Xena carefully placed her hand on the back of Gabrielle's head. "Gabrielle… Gabrielle, please don't cry." Xena's heart ached. She took a leap of faith and dared to trust her perceptions. "I believe you're real. I do."
Gabrielle continued to cry. The distance between them was too great. Xena shifted her body and gathered Gabrielle into her arms. Gabrielle held Xena close. She repeated her apology, "I'm sorry."
"Why? What have you done?"
Gabrielle tasted the bitterness of defeat. "I promised you Megara."
Xena's doubts rose anew. "But this is Megara, isn't it? You said it was."
"Before…" Gabrielle choked the word.
"When love?"
"Messene."
Xena tightened her hold upon the younger woman. "I don't understand."
The vivid memory came to the forefront of Gabrielle's mind. "I was with you. By our bond, I was with you here by the fire. You looked up to the stars. You were so happy. You thanked me. Oh Gods! Forgive me! I couldn't stay with you… the sound of the lash… I remembered the times I was beaten… I felt the lash and I got lost in my memories. I promised you I would be with you. I failed you. You felt the lash because I wasn't strong enough to keep the pain away."
Xena waited until Gabrielle quieted. She used the time to consider what Gabrielle had told her. They had shared Megara through their bond. That was an extraordinary revelation. That Gabrielle's memories of the lash rose to the surface and claimed her gave Xena pause. Though Gabrielle carried the scars of the lash on her back, though Xena was always careful in her touch of those scars, they had never spoken of the violence. The only exception was Gabrielle's admission that she took the lash over being raped. Xena did not know how many times Gabrielle had been scourged. She did not know how many strokes of the lash touched Gabrielle's body. She could only suspect the depth of damage they caused her partner. For the first time in their life together, Gabrielle openly admitted she bore this particular pain.
Xena tried to alleviate Gabrielle's guilt. "How do you know you left me? How do you know it wasn't I who left you?"
Gabrielle's memory would not be contradicted. "I know."
"You cannot blame yourself for what Tracate did to you or what Bavavos did to me."
Gabrielle remained silent.
"Gabrielle, I lived because I knew you would keep your promise. You brought me here. We are in Megara." Xena reached out a trembling hand. "We are in Megara."
Gabrielle took Xena's hand and kissed its palm.
"Gabrielle…"
Gabrielle heeded Xena's call and raised her head, meeting Xena's lips. Xena felt the warmth of their bond; she felt the gentle touch of Gabrielle's hand upon her cheek. Their hesitant kiss brought no reciprocal pain.
Gabrielle spoke in a whisper, "I have missed you."
"And I you."
Gabrielle leaned away to better see her partner. "I cannot get a satisfactory report regarding your health. How do you feel?"
Xena spoke with quiet assurance, "I think now that you are here I will heal better."
Gabrielle took Xena's hand. "I have a message from Jared. He is bored in Corinth and wants you back. He said it is season for a stag hunt."
Xena laughed lightly. "So, the old man is impatient. You would think he would want to rule Greece."
"That has never been his ambition."
"No, it hasn't."
Gabrielle felt the coolness of the night. "We should get back to the house."
Xena was in no hurry. "I am perfectly happy here as we are."
Gabrielle sobered. "I'm sorry, but I do have a favor to ask. Spirit is not himself. The grooms in Corinth had no remedy. Would you look at him?"
Xena fought the interruption. "Can't it wait until morning?"
Gabrielle used her best persuasion. "If he is in pain and you can ease it…"
"Of course." Xena would not allow an animal to bear unnecessary pain. "We'll go to the stables."
Gabrielle kissed Xena gratefully. "Thank you."
The Royals walked from the cove to the stables arm in arm. In the moon that had passed, Xena had mended such that her walk was easy, although to Gabrielle's eyes somewhat stiff.
Stephen stood outside the stables. "I see you found her all right."
Gabrielle tightened her hold upon Xena. "She seems good to me."
Xena looked from one to the other. "She is standing here and has a name."
Gabrielle chuckled. "Are the men done with the horses?"
"All done."
"Xena is going to take a look at Spirit for me."
Stephen opened the stable door. "I'll be here if you need me."
The stable was well lit. Gabrielle entered first and then stepped aside. Xena followed. Her eyes went from Gabrielle over to the center stalls. There stood Spirit, he was as bold and beautiful as ever. In the stall beside him stood Argo. Her golden coat shined. She whinnied, moving her head up and down, the moment she saw Xena.
"Argo." Xena whispered the mare's name in disbelief.
Gabrielle explained. "A smith traveling to Corinth found her on the road and brought her to me. Voger said she's perfect."
Xena walked to the mare. "She is."
Gabrielle wiped a tear from her eye. She had wanted to give Xena this moment and was grateful to have it.
Xena reached out to the powerful steed. "Hey, girl. I missed you."
Argo settled her head into Xena's touch.
"Let me see you." The warrior entered the stall and gave the mare a complete inspection. Finished, she went back to the front of the stall. Scratching Argo's chin she promised, "We will ride tomorrow. What say you?"
Argo motioned her approval.
Xena turned to Gabrielle. "Thank you."
"One day if we are in Olympia you can thank the smith."
"What is his name?"
"Esser. He remembers you from the time you helped stopped the city from being sacked. He wouldn't take the reward. He said he was paying back a debt."
Xena was thoughtful., "That was a long time ago."
Gabrielle said nothing. She wanted Xena to consider the good she had done and how it had been returned to her.
They entered their bedroom. Gabrielle's saddlebags had been placed on a table by one of the Guardsmen. She chose to unpack later. Xena released Gabrielle's hand and began to undress. Gabrielle followed suit. Her healer's eyes continued a discreet observation of her partner. Xena's scars had all but disappeared. The warrior's ability to heal was remarkable. Gabrielle's body was not as forgiving.
Gabrielle, dressed in a sleep shift, reached back to her shoulder and touched one of her scars. The scars had become less ugly to her. Having seen Xena's injuries, coming to accept how Xena saw her, the impress of the scars were no longer as deep.
"Come to bed," Xena invited having already slipped under the blankets.
Gabrielle smiled and complied. She laid her body over Xena's. She captured her lover's gaze. The feeling of their bond strengthened. "I've missed being able to hold you."
Xena held Gabrielle's body tenderly. "I've missed this, too." She offered no signal or word that more than their current intimacy was wanted.
Gabrielle wanted more from Xena. Not knowing the extent of Xena's healing, she did not want to ask. Nor did she want to seduce. She laid her head over Xena's heart and listened to its strong, rhythmic beat. The sound comforted her. She took satisfaction in being in Megara, in Xena's arms. Their reunion had displaced the concerns that dominated their parting. They could take comfort in one another. Gabrielle would learn more in the morrow. What she learned would help her decided when to try to reach across the chasm to achieve a complete physical union.
Xena watched as Gabrielle slipped down and rested against her. They had been separated longer than either expected. The separation was more than physical. Her fears had driven Xena to a lonely place and only now was she making her way from it. She felt the bond she shared with Gabrielle. It could be stronger. It was strong enough to give Xena confidence.
She wanted to reassure Gabrielle, to convey the importance of her homecoming. Xena kissed the top of Gabrielle's head, closing her eyes, concentrating on their bond. Nestled within her soul was a part of Gabrielle. She called to it, stirring it to rise and illuminate itself. That part of her soul responded. Xena took from it the power to open herself like a flower in bloom. Layer upon layer fell, the barriers of protection relinquished in order to invite a trespass that would consume her without destroying her.
Gabrielle felt an intangible heat crossing from Xena's heart to her own. She pressed closer, closing her eyes to all that was without and looking only to what was within. She was drawn to a channel. She entered it without fear. Before her was an essence powerful enough to annihilate her, compassionate enough to heal her. She could not have wholeness without risking oblivion. She knew that to allow herself to be engulfed was to join with Xena. She did.
They lay still, neither wanting to sever their extraordinary affinity. Gently, they fell asleep.
The following morning Gabrielle sought out Trevor. Stephen directed her to the northern guard post situated on top of a cliff overlooking the sea. Walking alone, she found Trevor with two fellow Guardsmen.
She greeted the men. Two of the three responded warmly to her presence. Trevor stood mute.
Gabrielle requested, "Captain, may I speak to you?"
Trevor's silence and Gabrielle's formality did not go unnoticed. Trevor followed Gabrielle's lead down the path back to the beach house.
Comfortable that sufficient distance had been gained from the others, Gabrielle paused. She set aside Trevor's forbidding gaze, holding to her resolve. "Trevor, General Jared and I have spoken. There is an available commission in 5th Army. It is yours if you want it."
Trevor had not known what to expect. In his speculation he never anticipated a promotion. He felt no grace. His voice reflected the bitterness he felt. "Is the promotion compensation for my exile from Corinth?"
Gabrielle maintained a level tenor. "I want you to have a choice whether to stay in Corinth or to move on."
Trevor would not accept the lie. "You want me to leave your Guard."
Gabrielle shared one of her motivations., "I want you to be happy."
The Guardsman raised his voice, "I was until you…"
Unwilling to be subjected to his anger, Gabrielle cut him off. "Until I gave you a sacred trust to protect my Lord. Haven't you learned anything in the past moon? I once could live without Xena. I don't believe that's true anymore. Trevor, if I lose her I will willingly follow her in death."
Trevor had evidence to the contrary. "I heard your promise to her. You told us yourself you would live on."
Gabrielle's confidence rose. Her experience of Xena the previous night had affirmed their truth. "If you listened closely, I didn't say for how long. Think about my offer. I need an answer by the new moon."
Gabrielle turned and walked the path. She longed for Xena. She would not have Trevor taint Megara. There was no place in Megara for an agenda that threatened the haven's peace.
Stephen entered the kitchen. Tess sat at a worktable polishing the rarely used silver goblets and plates. He appreciated her industry. "It's a beautiful day."
Tess looked up from her work. "It is."
Stephen planted his hands on the tabletop directly opposite Tess and leaned across. "You should be outside. Get some fresh air."
Tess would not be distracted. "There is plenty of fresh air coming through the window."
"You work too hard. How many times must you polish the silver?"
Tess protested. "What will the Conqueror or Queen think?"
"They do not care about being able to see their reflections in the serving tray. Come now and take a walk with me on the beach." Stephen wore a charismatic smile. "I promise, I'll have you back in plenty of time to serve supper."
The young servant fiddled with her polishing rag as she thought. A decision made, her hand stilled. "A half-candlemark."
Stephen countered, "To the cove and back."
"All right." Tess stood up and removed her apron.
The two walked silently.
Tess observed the handsome soldier. She struggled to understand all the Guardsmen, none more than the Major. "Stephen, did you always want to be a soldier?"
"No, I wasn't born with a taste for death." He picked up a small piece of driftwood and threw it out into the sea. "I would have been happy farming. Tilling the soil is an honorable life and if the Fates are kind, it is a good life. I knew before I could hold a plow in my hand I had to use my sword to help safeguard the countryside."
The day when swords would be set aside was beyond Tess' imagination. "Greece will never know peace."
"You're right, there will always be a Thanos or a Caesar. That doesn't mean I can't choose a life other than soldiering. When I was hurt, I feared I would never completely regain my fighting skills. If I were no longer of use to the Conqueror I would have no choice but to leave the Guard. I didn't like not having a choice."
"What keeps you soldiering?"
"For now the Guard is where I belong. There is no person or thing calling me elsewhere." Stephen turned around and walked backwards. "How about you? What life would you claim for yourself?"
"I'm a simple woman with simple cares."
"Do you want a husband? Children?"
Tess paused and picked up a seashell, it was chalk white, perfectly formed. She studied it as she spoke. "I'm older than what most men want for a wife."
Stephen grew serious. "You are still young."
Tess raised her eyes to the Guardsman. She saw his sincerity and was disconcerted by it. She spoke softly, shifting the conversation back to Stephen. "Do you want children, Stephen?"
He reached out and casually took the shell from Tess' hand. He wondered what she saw in it. "I know I should say I want a son. I would be proud to have a boy. A girl would be different. I would cheer having a girl. It is a difficult world for girls. I would do my best to be a good father and keep her and her mother safe."
Tess believed him. "I think you would be a good father."
Stephen smiled.
Feeling self-conscious, Tess continued to walk, "In Corinth, how do you spend your days?"
Stephen pocketed the shell. "When there is no threat to the realm I train the younger soldiers in both the 1st Army and in the Royal Guard. The best time spent is when I am working with the cavalry horses. I enjoy the colts and fillies."
"Did your father teach you?"
"Some. The Conqueror has been my best teacher." Stephen continued his interest in learning more about his companion. "How about you? What do you enjoy?"
Tess' sense of lowliness entered her speech., "I am not like the accomplished women in Court. I haven't their talents."
Stephen was confounded by Tess' self-dismissal. "What talents do you mean?"
"I don't know… like the Conqueror and Queen."
"Few woman can compare themselves favorably to the Conqueror and Queen. Not that the Royals think it. I admit there are good women in Court. What makes them good is that they are level-headed and well-versed in the nature of life. But, there are also those without sense who do nothing other than gossip."
Tess presented her damning evidence. "I can't read or write."
"I don't know many who have been taught. Do you want to learn?"
"It would be a good skill to have."
"A tutor could be arranged."
Stephen's offered surprised Tess. It revealed the Guardsman's assumption that she would be a permanent part of the Royal household. Such an offer had never been made. She grew thoughtful at the prospect.
After a few steps Stephen spoke anew, "Are there other things you want to do?"
Tess had pulled from her reverie. "I am not ambitious. Does that disappoint you?"
"No, why should it? I would be happy to one day have a homestead and a family. How much more ambitious is that than what you hope for?"
"It isn't."
"I didn't think it was."
Tess paused and looked back to the beach house. "I should get back."
"To polish the silver for the tenth time."
Tess pleaded. "Please don't make fun of me."
Stephen caught his breath, surprised by the hurt he saw in Tess. "I'm not. I know the Conqueror and Queen are pleased with you. Megara is meant to be a restful place." He took the young woman's hand. "Tess, Gabrielle has promised her brothers that she will be our bard tonight. Will you share a bench with me?"
Tess felt the warmth of Stephen's touch. Her composure wavered. She drew a curtain between herself and the Guardsman, hiding how he made her feel. "Am I allowed to?"
"Of course you are. This is Megara. Queen's protocol."
Tess released Stephen's hand and began to walk back. "Only after I finish washing up the meal plates."
Stephen watched her for a moment; pleased to have her consent, he jogged happily to her side. "Don't be surprised if a number of Guardsmen volunteer to help you."
Tess turned abruptly and demanded, "Don't you order them to."
The Guardsman laughed easily. "Tess, I won't have to. We help each other here."
Gabrielle walked the length of the beach, two staffs in hand. Xena was completing her sword drills. Gabrielle waited in clear view. Xena sensed the observation. She held her sword with both hands and turned to Gabrielle. Xena's piercing gaze was meant to reclaim her privacy.
Gabrielle maintained her poise. "My Lord, we have not sparred in over two moons." She tossed the staff to Xena.
Releasing a hand from her sword, Xena caught the staff.
Gabrielle took a ready position. "Shall we now?"
Xena's mind raced. Her pride refused any thought of a retreat, not even from Gabrielle. She embedded her sword in the sand, took the staff in both hands and entered a ready stance before her challenger. Not trusting her voice, she nodded.
Gabrielle took the offensive, beginning an easy rhythmic routine used to warm them into the encounter. Xena responded well, quickly following the familiar pattern. Gabrielle focused equally on their connection as she did on their sparring. She felt Xena's anxiety ease. She increased the challenge with a free form attack that caused Xena to react by sheer reflex. Gabrielle had to shift her focus completely to their sparing or risk injury.
Xena began to aggressively counter, pushing Gabrielle back. Still, Gabrielle could feel that the impact of Xena's hits was not equal to her pre-injury strength.
When Xena mentored Gabrielle, she did not coddle her confident younger partner. Gabrielle believed her skills well honed by her Guardsmen mentors. Xena quickly pushed Gabrielle to and beyond her limits. Out of Gabrielle's frustration and diligence, and through Xena's patience, Gabrielle's skill increased until she became a formidable challenge to the Conqueror. Gabrielle would now return the lesson and in doing so she began to understand how difficult giving such a lesson could be.
Gabrielle swung to the left then quickly turned 360 degrees, lowering her body in the rotation until she returned to Xena, staff extended straight, hitting the tall warrior in the back of her knees. Xena fell flat on her back. She was winded by the impact.
Gabrielle stood and waited. She said nothing. Neither words of consolation or a glib remark were appropriate. Xena's mortification was too painful for humor.
The warrior got to her feet and resumed a ready stance. Gabrielle renewed her assault. Gabrielle took Xena by surprise using the same move to knock her back down onto the ground. Gabrielle waited. Xena stood up. Gabrielle opened herself to their connection feeling Xena's rising anger. Xena attacked causing Gabrielle to focus solely on defense. Within a half-dozen exchanges Gabrielle had reestablished her supremacy. She reversed direction at half spin taking Xena down for a third time.
Xena stood up. Gabrielle entered a ready stance. Xena threw her staff down and walked away stopping at the waterline. Gabrielle waited patiently. She did not need their connection to understand Xena's frustration. Gabrielle approached the warrior after a quarter candlemark.
"Xena…"
Without looking at Gabrielle, the warrior diagnosed her own limitations. "I can't jump over your stroke. My legs are too tight."
Gabrielle offered a remedy. "We'll have to work to loosen your muscles."
Xena turned to her partner. "Just like that?"
Gabrielle was steadfast. "Yes. We'll find your weaknesses and work on them together."
Xena despised the pain she caused Gabrielle. "How many more times am I going to put you through this?"
Gabrielle knew Xena did not mean sparring. "Through what?"
"Watching me cheat death."
"You have my vow."
Xena cherished Gabrielle's vow. She judged accepting the vow selfish. "Gabrielle, from the day we met I have been stabbed, shot with an arrow and scourged."
Gabrielle's insight served her well. "Is this about me or about you? Do you want to give up?"
Xena did not answer.
Gabrielle felt the closing of their bond. "Xena, don't…" She held her tongue, determined not to admonish her partner. Lowering her voice she asked, "What are you thinking?"
Xena brooded, "Nothing you want to hear."
"Tell me."
"I am no longer your Lord."
"Damn it, Xena! I have told you more than once that I reserve the right to decide whether you are or are not my Lord. I didn't bring you to Megara to give up. I brought you here to heal. If you are ready to die, go to Amphipolis and lay yourself beside Lyceus." Gabrielle slammed her staff down and began to walk back to the beach house.
Contrary to her bleak mood, Xena found their exchange funny. She knew her partner well. Gabrielle lived up to her reputation as the Sovereign's protector. No matter how compassionate Gabrielle's heart, her temper would not abide any depreciation of Xena's merits. No allowances were made for the warrior.
Xena called out Gabrielle's name in an attempt to stay her departure. Gabrielle did not heed Xena. Xena called a second time. Gabrielle continued her retreat. Desperate, Xena tried a different tactic. "Gabby!"
Gabrielle stopped and turned. Her dungeon name brought forth too much of her own pain. "Don't call me Gabby!"
"Gabrielle..." Hobbling forward, Xena pointed to where they sparred. "You have your proof. My healing continues to be slow. I confess I miss your ministrations. I never thought I would own to such a truth but I have learned that it is more important to praise my healer's work than pretend a warrior's indifference to injury." Xena opened her arms. "Love, I need you. There is no Megara without you."
Gabrielle was unappeased. "Sweet words, Xena."
"I mean every one."
Gabrielle crossed her arms. "Are you my Lord?"
"Yes." Xena paused a pace away from her partner.
Gabrielle dropped her arms, moved forward and leaned her head against Xena's chest. "Say it."
Xena embraced her young Queen. "I am your Lord."
"Did I hurt you?"
"I might have a new bruise on the back of my leg."
"Sorry."
"Don't be." Xena kissed Gabrielle on the top of her head. "Let's get back. Tess will be waiting supper for us.
Gabrielle felt her victory incomplete. For now, she chose to take Xena's hand as they walked back to the beach house.
Gabrielle sat on a chair at the center of the courtyard. Her audience formed a half-circle before her, those not sitting on benches sat comfortably on the dry ground.
Xena walked out of the beach house main entrance onto the porch. She stood against a post as she scanned the scene. Megara was complete only with Gabrielle present. Xena noticed to one side Stephen and Tess sitting together. Samuel sat himself beside Tess playfully shoving one of his brothers aside. He addressed Tess, causing the young woman to blush and Stephen to laugh. Stephen covered Tess' hand in a comforting gesture. Tess looked from Samuel to Stephen and smiled brightly, it was a smile the like of which Xena had never seen before. She approved of what she saw. Continuing her review of the gathering, Xena had the sense that something was not right. She realized Trevor was nowhere to be seen.
Gabrielle noted Xena's appearance. The bard had just completed an epic tale. She chose to continue her storytelling with a short comedy. She was rewarded with the sight of Xena sitting on the porch railing listening.
The story's conclusion was greeted with appreciate applause. Xena stood and reentered the house. Gabrielle observed and was concerned by Xena's slow and stiff motion. She feared she had injured her partner during their sparring. Through their bond she received a hint of the warrior's discomfort. Gabrielle was called to converse with the Guardsmen sitting closest to her. She set aside her concerns and gave her brothers her complete attention.
Xena exited the beach house with a mug in her hand. She walked down the porch steps careful not to spill its contents. Gabrielle continued her conversation, keeping Xena in her peripheral vision. She checked all desire to offer the warrior assistance. Xena walked behind Gabrielle and placed a mug of warm cider next to her. Having completed her self-appointed task, she placed her hand on her partner's shoulder. Gabrielle glanced to the mug and then covered Xena's hand with her own. The wounded warrior squeezed Gabrielle's shoulder before walking back to the porch and sitting down on a chair. Soon Gabrielle began a second comedy. She relished how Xena's laughter mingled with that of the rest of her audience.
After Gabrielle's fourth story, Xena reentered the beach house. Gabrielle felt Xena's easy disposition. Her concerns assuaged, she continued her storytelling, enjoying the opportunity to spend the evening with her Guard.
Dressed in her robe, Xena sat on the lower of the three steps of the bedroom porch. She watched the sun rise over the horizon. Gabrielle came to Xena, sitting beside her. She rested her head against the warrior's shoulder.
Xena turned to her partner. "Gabrielle, what is wrong with Trevor?"
Gabrielle knew she could no longer delay the inevitable discussion of Trevor's future. She sat up. "We had a disagreement."
"About?"
"About where he was needed most."
The argument was easy for Xena to place. "Corinth with you or Megara with me?"
Gabrielle looked out to the sea. "Yes."
Xena decided to speak candidly. "You know he is in love with you."
"I know." Gabrielle sighed. "Jared and I spoke. I offered Trevor a commission with Regan's army."
Xena was surprised. "We usually talk about military appointments."
"This is different."
"Gabrielle…"
Gabrielle turned toward Xena. "I trusted you with Stephen's career. Please trust me with Trevor's."
Xena mined her own experience. "Remember the fire… remember how angry I was with Stephen for trying to stop me from entering the flames?"
Gabrielle would not accept the comparison. "I was going back to Corinth. I wasn't throwing myself into an inferno."
"Corinth could have been more deadly than the fire. There was no knowing what awaited you. He was keeping his word to me."
Gabrielle stood up. She would have preferred to keep her reason in the dark recesses of her mind. She turned to Xena. "I… I don't feel comfortable having Trevor so close."
Xena did not expect the admission. "Why?"
Gabrielle did not answer.
Xena was thoughtful, weighing a number of possible explanations. She chose to articulate her worst fear in order to be able to set it aside. "You are not tempted?"
Gabrielle was incensed. "No! How could you believe that?"
Xena kept her composure. "What would you have me believe?"
Gabrielle's wave of anger subsided. She could not fault Xena's sincere confusion. She sighed. "What if he lost his temper?"
The seemingly irregular pieces of the puzzle now made sense to Xena. The fit was consistent with Gabrielle's past. The young Queen had been victim to a lover who refused to accept her rejection. "Like Inis?"
"Yes."
"You don't trust him to keep you safe?"
Gabrielle hated the truth. "From others, yes. From himself… I don't know."
Xena did not want a reason to harm Trevor. Still, she posed the question that could, depending on the answer, cost the Captain his life with the Royal Guard. "Has he ever…"
Gabrielle squashed any though of impropriety. "No. Never."
Xena knew it was wrong to generalize Inis' behavior onto Trevor. And yet, Xena studied the particular and projected what she learned to the masses. She argued that human nature had its constants. She learned what those constants were and used her knowledge to her advantage. Xena would not ask Gabrielle to remain in a situation where she felt insecure.
Xena loved Trevor. His likeness to Lyceus had been the impetus for her decision to mentor the young man into adulthood. The years spent together etched a special place in her heart for him. She stood up. "Very well. I won't interfere. You do what you believe is best." She walked slowly toward the beach, a cloak of sadness weighing upon her shoulders.
Gabrielle called her name.
Xena turned, "I will miss him. I won't pretend otherwise."
Gabrielle had no words of consolation. She watched in silence as Xena walked away.
Stephen entered the stables. There he found Xena giving Argo a vigorous grooming. He stood by the stall and waited to be recognized.
Xena paused in her effort. She noted that the Major wore his shirt open at the neck. "Stephen, have you lost your medallion?"
In reflex, Stephen looked down at his chest. "No, My Liege."
Xena suppressed a smile, "Then it is your medallion Tess wears?"
Stephen did not hesitate. "Yes, I wanted her to feel she belonged here."
"For the time being."
The Major did not like what he heard. "You won't keep her in service?"
Xena spoke indifferently. "Gabrielle's promise was to find a position for her in Corinth. There was no mention of her entering the palace household."
"Aren't you happy with her?"
"I'm pleased. But, we have no need to expand our staff. Tess will receive an excellent recommendation as reward for the service she has given me."
Stephen would have Xena reconsider. "Corinth can be dangerous for a beautiful woman. I think Tess would prefer the safety of the palace."
Xena paused in Argo's grooming, "You think Tess beautiful?"
"Don't you?"
The Sovereign spoke a personal truth. "My eyes see beauty in only one woman's personage." She shifted her tone intent on goading her friend. "I say Tess is comely."
Stephen felt Tess was not given her due. "I know you are not one to flatter. I thought you more…"
Xena grinned. "More what, Stephen?"
Stephen was befuddled. "How did we get on this subject?"
Xena was not done with the Major. "Gabrielle wears two tokens. She refuses to remove either one. The first is her medallion. By it she accepted your love and the love of all her brothers. It is also a symbol of the love she gives freely in return. The second token is the ring I gave her. It is a symbol of my pledge to her – that it is I who belong to her, not she to me. I've concluded that you gave Tess your medallion with cross purposes."
Stephen felt firmly entrapped in Xena's snare. "Are you done mocking me? If you are, I ask to be excused."
"I'm disappointed. I thought you would champion Tess' wish to join the household with greater heart."
Stephen protested. "You confused me into forgetting."
Xena chuckled. "Come now. How am I to believe such folly? You are an excellent strategist, and in battle none has keener focus."
"I am not in battle with you."
"I think you are in battle with yourself."
"I no longer…"
Xena saved him the confession. "She's become more to you than a tavern wench."
Stephen was passionate. "She was never that to me."
Xena gentled. "No, she wasn't was she? Gabrielle told me you were drawn to her at first sight."
It was true. Stephen had felt an unexpected attraction to Tess. It was only the second time in his life that had happened to him. "As I was to you."
"For far different reason's don't you think?" Xena knew how fighting men experienced her charisma. "I represented power and will and a call to reclaim Greece. My seductiveness touched you as a warrior. None of those things brought me Gabrielle's love. Yes, she was intrigued by the Conqueror. She was always painfully clear with me of who she first loved. She loved me because of who she saw when I carried no sword. She loved me in spite of the sword."
"Xena, I saw that part of you too. I mourned I didn't get more glimpses of you as a woman first and a warrior second."
Xena was painfully honest. "Stephen, you didn't see those glimpses because you didn't have the means to draw that part of me to the surface."
Stephen agreed. "No, I didn't. You have shown me affection only after Gabrielle entered your life."
"Many have benefited from her influence upon me."
"Did she ever ask you to change?"
"Yes." Xena admitted.
"Did you change for her?"
"It wasn't that clear cut. Would I be who I am without her? No, that I am sure of."
The stable door opened. Gabrielle stepped through.
Gabrielle noted how the occupants exchanged glances. "Am I interrupting?"
Stephen smiled gallantly, "You are and I am grateful. My Liege has been making sport of me."
Gabrielle playfully chastised her partner. "Not nice."
Xena protested. "Why do you always take his word without granting me an opportunity to defend myself against his accusation?"
Gabrielle smiled. "Because I know you."
Stephen laughed heartily.
Xena inquired. "Are you here for a reason, My Queen?"
"In fact I am. I want you in bed."
Xena crossed her arms. Her voice carried a touch of the risqué. "Really?"
Gabrielle blushed. "Don't… I want to massage your legs."
Xena smiled. "We must start somewhere."
Gabrielle pleaded for her innocence. "I did the same for Stephen."
Xena looked over to the Guardsman, "Major?"
"Stop it!" Gabrielle commanded. "You are incorrigible."
Xena stretched out her arms haplessly and directed her question to Stephen. "What did I say?"
Stephen raised his hands in his own defense. "Don't look at me. I cannot keep up with either of you."
Gabrielle reached her hand out. "My Lord, would you please allow this healer to do her work."
Before taking Gabrielle's hand, Xena threw the grooming brush to Stephen. "Love is grand."
The massage completed, Xena turned onto her back. She met and held Gabrielle's gaze. Gabrielle checked all desire to collapse into Xena's embrace. The moment passed. Gabrielle offered, "Would you like some wine?"
"Yes, thank you." Xena watched as Gabrielle left the room. She stood up and dressed.
Gabrielle brought a wine cup to Xena.
Xena took a sip of the tart liquid and walked outside sitting on the porch step. She looked back. Patting the wood beside her, she invited Gabrielle, "Here."
Gabrielle hesitated. "You're disappointed in me."
"I love you."
Not to be distracted, Gabrielle sought her answer. "I have disappointed you."
Xena spoke from her heart, "You're the bravest woman I know. I won't judge you."
Gabrielle sat down and leaned her body against the warrior. They sat quietly for some time. Gabrielle broke the silence. "What do you want me to do?"
Xena turned to her partner, "Talk to Trevor. Be honest with him. Tell him how you feel."
Gabrielle's fears arose anew. "Xena, I can't. What would he think?"
"You'll lose him if you don't"
"I'll lose him if I do."
Xena took her young Queen's hand. "Let him prove himself. Doesn't he deserve the chance? Gabrielle, he is as much your brother as Sam and Stephen."
The following morning Xena and Gabrielle sat breakfasting in the kitchen. Tess entered.
"Excuse me, Captain Trevor has asked for the Queen's presence in the courtyard."
Xena jumped on the request. "Is something wrong?"
"I'm not sure. There's a good deal of moving about among the men."
Xena stood up. "So much for a quiet day."
Xena went to the front door first. Instead of continuing to take the lead she held the door open for Gabrielle.
Trevor called out as Gabrielle came into view, "Attention!"
The Queen's Guard, dressed in full uniform, stood in formation. Gabrielle paused at the brilliant sight.
Trevor stepped forward. "Your Majesty."
Gabrielle was somewhat overwhelmed by the scene. She addressed Trevor warmly, "Captain."
Trevor was struck by how much he missed having Gabrielle's easy regard. He projected his voice so all could hear. "The Queen's Guard wishes you a happy birthday."
Gabrielle smiled. She had not thought much of the day.
"We have a gift for you." Trevor turned to Samuel.
The Guardsman approached with a package. He gave it to Trevor, who in turned offered it to Gabrielle.
Gabrielle looked out to all her brothers, emotion choking any possibility of speech. She glanced over to Xena who stood at the threshold alongside Tess. Taking a steadying breath, Gabrielle slowly unwrapped the package, revealing the silk banner. At the forefront was the emblem of staff, quill and laurel. She sat down on the porch step, resting the banner on her lap. She traced the detailed embroidery with her fingertips.
Samuel knelt on one knee on the step and removed a handkerchief from his belt. "The Conqueror said you would cry."
Gabrielle looked up to her beloved Sam and laughed through her tears. "She did?"
Samuel gently dabbed Gabrielle's tears from her cheek. "She knows you well." He handed the handkerchief to Gabrielle.
Gabrielle whispered, "Sam, what does the Conqueror think of my having a banner of my own?"
Samuel responded with an equally low voice, "She was pleased."
Gabrielle took Samuel's hand. "I love you."
The Guardsman knew happiness. "I love you, too."
Gabrielle stood before her Guard. She scanned the courtyard taking in the fighting men's broad smiles. "At ease."
The Guardsmen relaxed their stance. "I am so lucky to have you in my life." She raised the banner. "Thank you." She went to Alem who was nearest to her, embracing him without reservation. The balance of the men closed ranks around their sister.
Tess looked to Xena. "Did you know?"
Xena smiled. "I did."
"The Queen is a special woman."
Xena agreed wholeheartedly. "There will never be another like her."
Tess reentered the beach house. She returned to the kitchen, to her place secluded from Sovereigns, Queens and Guardsmen.
Trevor stepped aside and watched the merriment with pleasure. He realized he had become an obstacle to the young Queen's happiness. He made his decision. He approached Gabrielle only after she had accepted greetings from each of the men sworn to protect her. "Your Majesty, I am ready to give you your answer."
Gabrielle tried to stay his words, "Trevor…"
Trevor continued on, fearful doubt would turn his decision. "I have decided to accept the commission."
Gabrielle touched his arm. "Walk with me."
Trevor nodded and followed her lead. Gabrielle's request for a walk always meant they would talk.
Stephen stood beside Xena, watching Gabrielle and Trevor make their way down toward the sea. "Will Gabrielle be all right?"
"Yes." Xena placed her hand on Stephen's shoulder. "I'm more worried about Trevor."
"Is Gabrielle sending him away?"
"That depends on Trevor."
Stephen was earnest. "Thank you for giving me the choice."
Xena smiled. "I think Tess could use a hand. Why don't you go be a gentleman and offer to help her?"
Stephen laughed. "You are not subtle."
"Don't make her wait, Stephen. It's not kind to either of you."
"So, I have your blessing?"
Xena was deeply touched by the request. She kissed him on the cheek. "Go on."
Stephen had never known such a public showing of affection from Xena. He smiled. "By your command, My Liege."
Xena chuckled. "And Stephen, tell Tess she has a place in our household if she wants it."
"Yes, My Liege!" Stephen bounced up with unrestrained joy before running off.
Gabrielle turned to Trevor. "We've never talked about Inis."
Mention of Gabrielle's former lover surprised the young Captain. "No, we haven't."
"Were you with him when he died?"
The subject was uncomfortable to the Guardsman. "Yes."
"He said he loved me. When I told him I couldn't love him, he hurt me." Gabrielle paused capturing Trevor's eyes with hers. "I don't ever want that to happen to me again. I know my Lord. She will kill anyone who lays an unwanted hand on me. It would break her heart if she took justice against someone she loved. I won't take the risk. Not for me or her or my brothers. Do you understand?"
Comprehension slowly overtook Trevor. He was shocked by the insight. "The Conqueror believes I'd hurt you?"
Gabrielle corrected him. "No, she has defended you to me."
The realization that Gabrielle feared him pained Trevor. "You think I will hurt you?"
"Inis…"
"I am not Inis!" Trevor defended himself. "Do you see all men as animals unable to restrain themselves?"
Gabrielle spoke softly. "I'm frightened, Trevor. I can't stop the memories. Inis wasn't the only one who has hurt me."
Gabrielle had been strong and sure in the dungeons of Messene. Trevor had lost sight of the vulnerable young woman. She now stood before him in clear relief. "I'm sorry. I never wanted to make you feel uncomfortable." Trevor shifted his vision away from Gabrielle to the sea. There was nothing more to say. There would be no grace for her or him unless they accepted their truths. He would grant Gabrielle an end to their discord. There would be no ill will between them. "Wagers are being placed. Stephen has fallen in love."
Gabrielle smiled, grateful for the momentary change in subject. "Only a fool would say otherwise."
"Oh, the brothers are sure. The question is when will he do something about it?"
Gabrielle offered her brother a heartfelt invitation. "Trevor, I hope you reconsider leaving. Stephen's courtship of Tess will be worth staying to see. I'm sure he would welcome his closest brothers near as he navigates the difficult seas of love."
Trevor shook his head. "I think he will come to you or the Conqueror before he comes to me. I am still an unreliable whelp."
Gabrielle set all pretenses aside. "I want you to stay."
Trevor wanted to remain by Gabrielle's side. "I shall. Seeing Stephen in love gives me reason to believe there is still hope for me to find my true mate."
Gabrielle was happy. Trevor was a precious gift to her. She went to him and took him into her arms. "I've missed you."
The sudden undoing of their distance surprised the Captain. He welcomed it. He held Gabrielle tightly, yet gently. "I've missed you, too."
Stephen found Tess in the kitchen. He announced without delay, "The Conqueror has authorized me to offer you a place in the palace household."
Tess found Stephen's enthusiasm stifling. "When did she…"
"We just spoke."
Troubled, Tess looked away. "I must thank her for thinking of me. I hope she won't be offended when I decline."
Stephen was stunned, "You will not take the offer?"
"No." Tess returned to washing the morning dishes.
The Major went to the servant. "I thought it was what you wanted?"
"Stephen, I don't think I can be in the palace."
Stephen drew closer. "What do you mean?"
Tess stepped away, needing to keep him at a distance. "It would be too hard."
"Tess, household members are well treated. You won't be asked to do more at the palace than you have done here in Megara."
"That's not what I mean. I think it would be better if I didn't live in Corinth."
"At all? Where would you go?"
Tess was relieved to have a ready answer. "I can stay here. I've spoken to the village innkeeper. She can use someone to help cooking and serving."
Stephen fell silent. The thought of not spending time with Tess was painful to him. "Tess, I was hoping to see you more."
The servant tried to ease the Major's obvious distress. "We could visit when the Royals come to Megara."
"They usually don't stay as long as they…" Stephen had difficulty keeping his composure. "This visit is an exception."
"I know." Stephen's loss of spirit was breaking Tess' heart. "I should return your medallion to you."
Stephen put his hands in his pockets. "I didn't want you to have reason to do so."
Tess tried to reason with him, "Stephen, you knew we would part ways."
"No, I didn't know that."
"I'm only a peasant. There are many fine ladies in Corinth, daughters of important men."
The Guardsman spoke softly, "They don't compare to you."
Tess confessed the one truth she was certain would end Stephen's protestations, "I cannot bear to meet the woman you loved. She will mock me. She will try to make you ashamed you chose me."
Stephen's hope rose. "She would never do that."
Tess doubted. "How do you know?"
Stephen smiled. "Because she gave me her blessing."
"How could she if she has never met me?"
"She has met you." Stephen held steady waiting for Tess to come to the obvious conclusion.
Tess paused in thought. She had met only two women associated with Stephen – the Royals. Stephen did not hide his love for Gabrielle. Theirs was a close friendship, easy, sometimes playful, always affectionate. His relationship with the Conqueror differed. Tess observed them from afar. Stephen shared a unique intimacy with the Conqueror, one no other Guardsman enjoyed. She recalled Stephen's behavior in the Messene dungeon. He could not keep from shedding tears. Gabrielle comforted him. Had Tess known then that Gabrielle was the Queen, she would have expected Stephen to console Gabrielle. Tess recalled her conversation with the Conqueror regarding Stephen. Her heart pressed painfully inward. "The Conqueror?"
Stephen nodded affirmatively.
"Does the Queen know?"
"Yes."
Tess was dumbfounded. "How can she… how can either one of them allow you to be here?"
Stephen never had a greater appreciation of the extraordinary relationship he enjoyed with the Royals. "Because they love me and until the day I met you it has been their love I have lived for. Gabrielle is my sister. I tried to explain to you what she means to me. I never had a woman care for me with such open generosity. She understands warriors. She understands that we must be strong and yet, she gives us a conspirator's permission to be boys in awe with the world she weaves with her stories. She also acknowledges that we get hurt and frightened. As my healer she has given me a safe place to become whole again. She also understands love in all its forms. She knows love to bring both joy and sorrow and does not envy me the sentiment."
"But, the Conqueror…"
"Xena." Stephen spoke the name proudly. "Tess, she stands alone in history. You have not seen her complete. She is extraordinary in her abilities. She is also very human. I am not the first nor will I be the last to come to love her. She has been generous in her own way. She has mentored me. She has narrowed the distance between us. As I have grown closer to her my love has changed. I am neither her brother nor her lover. I am her friend and it is a friendship I am proud of and will never deny."
Tess pursued her most pressing question. "Have you been lovers?"
"No, she would not have me. She told me once she respected me too much to take me to her bed."
"Do you wish she had?"
Stephen answered truthfully. "I once did. No more."
Tess was overwhelmed by the knowledge.
Stephen could see Tess needed time to consider all that she had learned. He gentled, "Tess, come to Corinth. Give me the chance to prove myself to you."
"But why me?"
"Why did the Conqueror of Greece fall in love with a slave? Because Xena saw Gabrielle, not a slave and Gabrielle saw Xena, not the Conqueror. I see you and I want to be in your life." Stephen steeled himself. "The question is who am I to you?"
Tess lifted her hand to the back of her neck and undid the clasp of the silver chain removing it and the medallion it held. She stepped forward and took Stephen's hand resting the chain and medallion on his palm. "I'm sorry."
Stephen begged, "Tess, please reconsider."
Tess was uncompromising. "Major, I have work to do."
Stephen closed his fist around the medallion. The Fates were cruel. He turned and walked out of the beach house.
Xena sat on the porch sipping tea as she waited for Gabrielle and Trevor to return. She watched as they traversed the north beach path. By the easy manner in which they walked together, Xena concluded that the two young people had reached an amicable accord. The day promised to be good.
Gabrielle ran up the stairs. "Hi."
Xena smiled. "Hello. All's well?"
"Yes!"
Xena offered Gabrielle the mug of tea. "Is it true that I can make independent decisions regarding Stephen?"
Gabrielle took hold of the mug. "What have you done?"
"I told him Tess would be welcomed in our household."
Gabrielle was pleased. "You didn't"
Xena was sheepish. "I did."
"You are a hopeless romantic."
"I thought she could serve us personally. It is not an uncommon practice."
Gabrielle shook her head. "You are transparent."
Xena looked down at her body. "Then I must gain more weight."
Gabrielle laughed. "I love you."
Xena grew serious. "Gabrielle… seeing Stephen and Tess falling in love has brought back memories. I remember the day you entered Court for the first time. You held yourself with such dignity as Jared escorted you to me. I had never felt more honored. Thank you for choosing me."
Gabrielle set the mug on a railing and threw herself into Xena's arms. "By the Gods Xena, you are a poet."
Xena lifted Gabrielle, cradling her.
Gabrielle cried out Xena's name in surprise.
"Yes, my love?"
Still cautious of Xena's healing, Gabrielle thought to protest. She chose not to voice her concern. She wanted to trust Xena to be the best judge of her well-being. They had not made love since Xena left Corinth in search of Acade. Gabrielle allowed her feelings to travel freely through their connection.
Xena felt the power of Gabrielle's desire. It had been moons that she felt the pulsating need. She did not trust words. Their gazes held. With each heartbeat the intensity of their emotion rose. To remain as they were was a mutually painful denial. The question was who would risk disappointment and let her feelings known.
Xena could not bear their separation any longer. She spoke in a low trembling voice, "Gabrielle, please…"
Gabrielle did not wait for the question. She kissed Xena setting aside all reservations that bound her passion. Their union was overwhelming. Xena carried Gabrielle into the beach house to their bedroom, laying her gently on the bed. She covered Gabrielle's body with her own. They shared an instinctual hunger that stood separate from reason. There was want and need between them. They surrendered themselves, losing all concept of place and time. To each there was only the other. Nothing else mattered.
Gabrielle tightened her hold upon Xena as she raised her body, nearing, then reaching, climax. Her physical release triggered tears, a blending of the sorrow of the past and the joy of the present.
Xena held Gabrielle close, kissing her tenderly on the cheek. She soothed Gabrielle with whispers. "It's all right, now."
Gabrielle's tears persisted as she strengthened her embrace.
Xena felt Gabrielle's claim upon her. "We're in Megara, love. It was a hard road but you kept your promise. You have brought me to our bedroom and we have shared the passion and tenderness we have always given one another. It's now only for you to fall asleep with my name on your lips as I watch over you."
"Xena…"
"That's right, love. I am yours… only yours."
Gabrielle's tears subsided and her breathing steadied. Xena shifted their bodies. Gabrielle rested against her shoulder.
Half asleep, Gabrielle spoke, "Wait for me…"
Xena considered how Gabrielle had spoken those same words to her in Messene. It had not been for Xena to wait for Gabrielle across death's threshold. It was her duty to wait for Gabrielle in the realm of life. They had been separated once again by the forces of the past, of personal histories that needed to be addressed. Each time Gabrielle was obliged to face her truth she grew stronger, more aware of who she was and how she had come to be.
Truth equally marked Xena. Every time she revisited her past she returned to the present forever changed. She would never see herself with Gabrielle's eyes. But neither would Gabrielle see herself with Xena's. They offered each other a grace that one could not completely accept from the other. What was accepted did balm their wounds to a degree.
Xena kissed Gabrielle on the forehead. She felt no pain. She was at peace. She was happy. Her gaze traveled about their bedroom, lingering upon the sight of the ocean through their window. This was Megara. She closed her eyes knowing no dream could bring her more joy than the present wakeful moment with Gabrielle. She had every reason to rouse at dawn and accept the new day as a gift, not a torment.
The following afternoon Xena found herself in the kitchen. "Tess."
Tess wiped her hands with a cloth. She felt shy upon seeing the Royal. "Your Majesty, how may I help you?"
Xena leaned comfortably against the hearth. "I've always thought myself, with a few exceptions, a good judge of character. If I have ever been blind to the truth it has been because I allowed my heart to rule my reason. I find that I have once again been in error. I take consolation in the fact that my wish to see Stephen happy may have led me to misjudge your feelings for him."
Tess tried to interrupt, "Your Majesty..."
Xena overruled her. "Please let me finish. I see that Stephen wears his medallion. He told me you have declined my offer of employment. I want you to know that I did not mean to be presumptuous. I sincerely believed you had affection for Stephen and would welcome an opportunity to be near him. You have my apology if by my actions I have caused you any discomfort."
Tess corrected the Sovereign's error. "Your Majesty, no, you owe me no apology. Your offer was very kind."
Xena was determined to press for Stephen's happiness. "Tess, is there any love in your heart for Stephen?"
Tess' silence was the only answer Xena needed.
"I assure you that when Stephen's sister learns of his disappointment she will come to you and with the inspiration of the Muses she will try to convince you that you do both yourself and him a great injustice."
Tess could not help but be amused by the unexpected evocation of the Queen's persuasive powers. "Do you think she will succeed in convincing me?"
Xena felt she made an inroad "Only if you want her to." She urged. "Tess, why wait? Stephen suffers as we speak."
Tess remained uncertain. "Your Majesty, will Corinth be difficult?"
After witnessing Gabrielle's struggles, Xena knew Corinth would be a trial to any outsider. "There will be women who will envy you and they may try to hurt you."
"I do not want to embarrass Stephen."
"You won't. You must be brave Tess. All lovers of warriors must be brave."
"I am not the Queen."
Xena measured the young woman. She was not Gabrielle. She did not have to be. She was strong in her own way. "We return to Corinth in a fortnight. I understand the local innkeeper has made you an offer of employment. You are free to leave our service anytime between now and our departure. You need only give us notice."
"Your Majesty, I'm sorry."
"It is now for me to say to you that you owe me no apology. Tess, you have been a pleasant addition to Megara. Both I and Gabrielle will miss you."
Tess confessed. "I will miss you, too."
Xena had the last word. "Then stay with us."
Stephen went to Gabrielle and embraced her, twirling her around. "Gabrielle, thank you, thank you, thank you!"
Gabrielle laughed, surprised by the Guardsman's jubilance. "Stephen!"
Xena stood back enjoying the scene.
Placed back on her feet Gabrielle slapped Stephen on the chest. "What on earth has gotten into you?"
"Tess is coming to Corinth."
This was unremarkable news to Gabrielle. "Of course she is. What made you think she wasn't?"
Now it was Stephen who was confused. "By her word you knew."
"I did not."
"But Tess said she had a Royal visit."
"It was not I." Gabrielle looked over to her partner. "My Lord?"
Xena smiled. "Yes, my Queen."
"What have you been up to?"
Xena shrugged. "I found myself in the kitchen. Should I have ignored Tess?"
"You do not go anywhere unintentionally and you do not have idle conversations."
"All I did was preempt your visit. I told Tess as much. Evoking your name was all the persuasion I needed."
"I doubt that." Gabrielle turned to her brother. "Stephen, I'm sorry to say I was kept in ignorance and did not have the chance to champion you. Your gratitude is misplaced."
Stephen released Gabrielle and stepped before Xena. "I don't know how to thank you."
"You embraced Gabrielle when you thought her the culprit. But now that you know that it was me I do not get the same…"
Stephen cut short Xena's speech by taking her in his arms.
Xena welcomed him with a laugh. Her eyes met Gabrielle's. She relished having her partner's approval. "Now, you must make me a promise."
Stephen released Xena. "Anything."
"Promise to be patient with Tess. Corinth will not be easy for her."
If Gabrielle needed proof that Xena understood her struggle to find a sense of place, she now had it.
Stephen vowed, "I give you my word. I won't disappoint you." He turned to Gabrielle. "I won't disappoint either of you. I better go. I promised Trevor I would spar with him."
Gabrielle went to Xena and wrapped her arm around her partner's waist. "That is a happy man."
"I fear unrestrained he will pound Trevor all the way to Sparta."
Gabrielle laughed. "Is there anything else you haven't told me that I should know?"
"Nothing that I can think of."
Gabrielle released Xena and then extended her hand in invitation. "Walk with me."
Xena narrowed her eyes suspiciously. "Where are we going?"
"As long as we are together, it doesn't matter, does it?"
Xena was tempted to qualify Gabrielle's statement. She would have them move toward a peaceful life, their well being vouchsafed. She knew that was too much to ask for. The most she could hope for was to share her life with Gabrielle. With Gabrielle there was Megara. To Xena Megara was not a village by the sea. Megara was a haven located in Gabrielle's love. Xena answered Gabrielle by taking her hand.
The Royals returned to Corinth as scheduled. Xena had one task to complete before she could put the memories of Messene to rest. Outside the palace dungeon exterior entrance was a small courtyard used for discipline. Xena and Gabrielle walked to the secluded space. A Guardsman waited.
"Bring Bavavos," Xena ordered.
The Guardsman entered the palace corridor and signaled the jailor. The jailor guided the prisoner to the courtyard.
Xena noted his injury. "What happened to his arm?"
Gabrielle answered quietly, "Stephen would not have him hold a whip in his hand again."
Xena was stunned. "Did Stephen have your sanction or did he act on his own?"
"I told Stephen I needed to know Thanos' plan for you. I also promised him that he would avenge you if you could not do so yourself."
"Vengeance, Gabrielle? You who would have spared Tracate. Have you changed so much?"
"He hurt you." Gabrielle needed no other justification. "I don't know if Stephen acted in vengeance. When I look at Bavavos I feel justice has been served."
Xena looked back at the man. "Are you saying he doesn't deserve further punishment?"
"He was a soldier following orders. He did so with a profit motive but so do many soldiers. His one crime was against you. I will accept whatever sentence you pronounce."
"Even if I carry out the sentence with my own hands?"
Gabrielle reached out and took Xena's hand. "Especially if you carry out the sentence with your own hands."
Xena needed to be certain. "You know what I am capable of."
"I do. I ask only that you excuse me from observing."
Xena studied her partner. She saw only Gabrielle's open sincerity. "All right. I'll come to you when I'm finished."
Gabrielle gently squeezed Xena's hand. "Thank you, My Lord."
For a moment Xena's gaze followed Gabrielle's departure. She redirected her thoughts away from her partner and to the waiting prisoner. She walked toward Bavavos, signaling the jailor. "Your whip."
The jailor presented the weapon to the Conqueror.
"Bavavos, you made an impression upon the Queen."
Bavavos meant to face his death bravely. "Not a good one, I'm afraid."
Xena corrected, "You're wrong. In her own way she has pleaded that I be merciful with you."
"Has she?" Bavavos could not help but look over Xena's shoulder, the last vestige of the Queen still in sight. The prisoner steeled himself for the worst though for a heartbeat he harbored hope for a soldier's pardon. "Will you abide by her request?"
"She leaves us so that I may enjoy a private counsel with you." Xena guided the handle of the whip down Bavavos' chest. "I don't have to worry about shocking her gentler sensibilities."
"I was wrong, she does know you."
"Do onto others as they do onto you. There is wisdom in that adage. The count was thirty lashes was it not, Bavavos?"
Bavavos affirmed, "It was."
"So be it." Xena directed the jailor, "Tie him up."
Bavavos stood proud. "Conqueror, a final request?"
"What is it?"
"I didn't thank the Queen for the fresh bandage. Thank her for me. Tell her even wolves like us can show gratitude."
Xena nodded and then stepped the necessary distance to effectively administer the scourging.
Xena entered the Royal suite. Gabrielle sat by the fireplace in wait for her. Xena went to Gabrielle, upon reaching her, she knelt, placing her hands on Gabrielle's lap. Her gaze captured and held her partner's.
Gabrielle felt Xena's anguish through their bond. She whispered Xena's name.
Xena leaned forward and kissed Gabrielle. Gabrielle responded with equal tenderness. Xena parted from Gabrielle, leaning back on her heels. "Tell me where we are." Her voice was low, hinting at her masked uncertainty.
Gabrielle responded without question, "In Corinth."
Xena continued her query without taking her eyes from Gabrielle, "Tell me where we came from."
"Megara."
"Why was I there?"
"You were hurt. I brought you there to heal."
"Thirty lashes?"
"Yes."
"I gave Bavavos ten." Xena looked down, "My hand began to tremble. I remembered. It was as if I was still hung on the posts in Messene."
Gabrielle took Xena's hands with her own. She implored, "Xena, I swear to you it's over."
Tears fell down Xena's cheek. She dropped her head and buried it in Gabrielle's lap. She cried freely. She cried not because of the vivid physical pain she had been reliving while in Megara. That pain had not returned. She cried for the temporary loss of her life because of the lash and what that loss taught her. She had hovered over life in a world that had no beginning or end, a mystical place that she shared only with Gabrielle. She cried because the place had proven to be only a dream and as much as she tried to convince herself that the nature of life was such that no more could be asked from the Fates, ask she would if they would only listen. She cried because she had returned to the whip and to vengeance in spite of Gabrielle's gentle challenge to forgive. She cried because of Bavavos' astute insight that Gabrielle did know her. She cried because knowing her capacity for horrid brutality Gabrielle chose to forego witnessing Xena's act of retribution. She cried because Bavavos was right when he referred to both himself and her as wolves. After all the years that had passed, after all her attempts to take a road of straight justice, she was still a wolf. She was unworthy of the woman whom she begged comfort from.
Gabrielle held Xena. She recalled the first time Xena had cried as openly - the day Xena confessed her suspicion that Gabrielle had returned to Inis. They had experienced much since then. And in all that had transpired between them, Xena had rarely been so outwardly affected. Gabrielle had not expected such a breach in her partner's spirit. She thought Xena had been addressing the impact of her injury honestly and with forthright courage. Gabrielle felt Xena's sorrow though she did not understand why it had overtaken the warrior. She was left at a loss, to do only what she could, which was silently comfort her partner.
Gabrielle sat on the bearskin rug in front of the fireplace. Xena slept safely in her arms. There had been no words between them. Xena's tears seemed to rise from an endless source. Nearly a half-candlemark had passed before Xena collapsed completely into Gabrielle's arms, her exhaustion complete. Gabrielle wondered what Xena would say to her upon waking. Experience taught her to expect few words in light of Xena's strongest emotions.
Xena woke and within a heartbeat sat up as if attending to an intruder. Gabrielle released her hold to the extent she did not impede Xena's motion. Her hands rested on Xena's waist and thigh.
Xena looked about and then turned her gaze to Gabrielle. "Corinth."
"Yes."
Xena stood up separating herself from Gabrielle. Gabrielle watched in silence as the warrior walked to the balcony. Xena looked out to the familiar cityscape. Her eyes dropped down to her hands. The back of her hands and her arms had healed. Unlike Stephen, her body was able to regenerate to such an extent that the deepest scars of her scourging had all but disappeared. They were visible only to one with a fine eye searching for evidence of a story told by the most truthful bard, but disbelieved all the same. She owned such a fine eye and there were times she wished she could disregard the story of Messene. She loved the truthful bard who with a reassuring cadence told the story for only Xena to hear.
Xena combed her hair with her hands; a gesture Gabrielle learned marked a cleansing thought or a decided action. Xena turned back and approached her. She knelt in front of her Queen.
"Gabrielle, I don't know why I am here before you. I only know that the Fates brought us together and that nothing has been able to sunder what we are to each other. Sometimes life gets the better of me and I shed tears. I wake, as I have done just now, no wiser but inexplicably with my sense of peace somewhat renewed. As hard as I try there is only so much I can do to temper our world, more difficult still, to temper myself. If I can claim your love, and my heart tells me I can, I have reason to live on. I know that joys and sorrows will continue to present themselves and I cannot even hope for balance. I have no choice in the matter but to live the best life I can and be grateful for the blessing of sharing this life of mine with you. I'm sorry if by losing my self in you, I have frightened you. I'll try to do better."
Gabrielle listened in wonder. She received what she had not expected. Would Xena's professions of love ever not surprise her? Gabrielle placed her hand over Xena's heart. "Xena, I know why I am here with you. It is my choice. There can be no other choice for me. Love, don't hide from me. Though I wish you didn't have reason to cry, I accept your tears. When you share yourself with me, all of you without censor, I am the richer for it. Don't you believe otherwise. Xena, you keep placing your trust in me, even after I disappoint you."
"You haven't disappointed me. We survived Messene and are stronger for it. Aren't we?"
"We are."
Xena covered Gabrielle's hand with her own. "Will you do something for me now?"
Gabrielle nodded.
"Go to Bavavos and see that his wounds are tended to without the likely accident of salt to make them burn all the more. All evidence you showed me proved he acted under orders from Thanos. I do hold him responsible for taking glee in fulfilling his scourging of me. For that he has paid a price by my hand. Now it is for the realm to grant him a soldier's pardon if he agrees to either swear allegiance to the realm or accept exile."
Gabrielle wondered, "Why not take care of the task yourself?"
Xena would give Bavavos a minor triumph. "Because I want to affirm his belief that the Queen is not without influence and that it is because of her that Greece shows compassion."
Gabrielle did not like the answer. "That is unfair to you."
Xena's reasoning was farsighted. "As long as I am Conqueror, it is best for the world not to see me through your eyes."
"As long as you accept that I see the truth."
Xena leaned forward and kissed Gabrielle on the cheek. "I love you and shall say no more."
Not receiving a rebuttal, Gabrielle chuckled. "I shall do as you ask, My Lord, if you grant me a favor."
"And that would be?"
"Upon my return ride with me outside the palace gates."
"And what shall we find outside those gates?"
"A place where Argo and Spirit have taken us before. A place of simple, passionate pleasures."
Xena was pleased. "Such talk will make me blush."
Gabrielle kissed Xena. Xena responded completely. As their breathing quickened Gabrielle broke away. "I thought your goal has always been to make Aphrodite blush."
"With your consent that day may still come."
Gabrielle laughed as she stood up and ran off to take care of Bavavos. "I will be back soon."
Xena watched her young lover with easy pleasure. "So speaks Aphrodite's Chosen."
THE END
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NEXT: MY LORD: THE CHOSEN'S PROMISE