Xena’s anger threatened to boil over even after Gabrielle was gone, but when Petracles came into the tent and asked her what was wrong, she calmed down a bit. She contemplated confronting him right then and there, but decided there was no point since he’d just deny everything and it would tip him off that she was onto his game. Better to pretend ignorance and let him try his power play. She told him Gabrielle had made her mad and Petracles told her he could make her forget about it. He was as good as his word, taking her mind off Gabrielle as they spent some time rolling around on the sleeping furs ... although knowing he was plotting against her took some of the fun out of it. Afterwards, Xena lay there thinking as she watched Petracles sleep. She didn’t doubt for a second that Petracles was scheming behind her back; their relationship was always a struggle for power, for dominance, ever since he’d joined her army. But Marcus? No, Marcus wouldn’t betray her; he’d been with her from the start and they’d never had more than a few minor disagreements. In fact, there’d always been a certain attraction between them; if it wasn’t for her relationship with Petracles, maybe she and Marcus might have ... well, no point in speculating about that. Her mother even liked Marcus, which was a rare thing. Her mother hated most of her friends, calling them ruffians and degenerates (which was pretty much true), and she truly detested Petracles, but she’d always liked Marcus.
Xena rolled over and thought back to Gabrielle’s face when she’d told her about Marcus. The girl seemed sincere, like she really believed what she was saying. Maybe she did believe it, but that didn’t automatically make it true. She could’ve mistaken someone elses’s voice for Marcus’s, or ... or she could’ve made the whole thing up. Gabrielle said herself that she was good at telling stories. That was what really bothered Xena, that the girl might’ve been lying to her all along. She’d actually started to like the kid; she had guts, and was funny, and nice ... the thought that she could’ve been faking all that just to get close to Xena ... she was surprised how much that hurt. When Gabrielle was talking about how she uncomfortable felt in her own home village, Xena had known exactly how the girl felt. The two of them had a lot in common, so Xena didn’t want to believe Gabrielle had intentionally betrayed her. Maybe the girl had no choice; the Poteidaians could’ve put her up to it. Or maybe it was just a mistake. She sighed in the darkness, remembering the hurt on Gabrielle’s face at her harsh words. Ever since Lyceus died, Xena had been filled with so much anger, much of it at herself. She couldn’t stop hating herself for leading Lyceus to his death, but was she taking that anger out on Gabrielle? She wondered if she should find the kid tomorrow and try to make things right.
After breakfast, Xena and Petracles were discussing the next town to take in their campaign when a young boy from Amphipolis named Titus, who’d been a friend of Lyceus’s, interrupted to say two of her men were fighting in the marketplace, making a Hades of a mess. Xena’s temper flared and she grabbed her weapons and headed for the centre of town, followed closely by Petracles and Titus. Her arrival put a swift end to the fight and she decided to make an example of the two troublemakers by having them fight her. Before she could get started, Marcus came running into the marketplace and stopped in front of her, gasping for breath.
“Xena, you have to come quick, there’s ...” He looked around at the Poteidaians gathered in the square and lowered his voice. “Some of the men took some local girls up into the hills outside town. They’re gonna ... you know, have some fun with them.”
Xena’s anger rose, not just at what was happening to the women, but at the fact these men were ignoring her direct orders. She looked at Petracles, who nodded and said, “Go ahead. I can handle things here.”
Xena nodded and turned to follow Marcus. She thought she caught a glimpse of Gabrielle’s red-gold hair in the crowd, but when she slowed down to look for the girl, she couldn’t see her anywhere. She shrugged, thinking there was time for that later, and followed Marcus out of town and towards the hills. He led her to a stand of trees on a hill and as they approached, her instincts sent a warning flaring through her mind. Gabrielle’s words came back to her and she couldn’t help thinking this would be a great place for an ambush. But Petracles was back in town and Marcus ... she glanced at Marcus and noticed he was edging away from her. That raised her hackles all the way and she whipped out her sword before stepping through the trees into a clearing, Marcus darting away from her at the last second.
She realized her instincts (and Gabrielle) had been right when a dozen men led by a grinning Draco charged out of the brush and attacked her. They surrounded her on all sides, not giving her any space to move. It was all she could do just to keep them from cutting her to pieces as she whirled around frantically, parrying and blocking their strikes. The defensive fighting didn’t allow her to get any lethal strikes in and she knew she had to get something solid at her back. But when she tried a flip, Draco anticipated her, blocking her off and tagging her in the air. She landed awkwardly and had trouble just maintaining her balance.
She managed to clear a little space around her, making her attackers back up. She was concentrating so hard on keeping them at bay that she couldn’t spare any attention for her surroundings. The first inkling she had of the new danger was a shrill voice crying out, “Watch out behind you, Xena!” She turned her head and froze as she saw Petracles aiming a sword at her back. She was so shocked that he would’ve killed her right there if Gabrielle hadn’t appeared from nowhere and flung herself on Petracles’s arm, deflecting his strike so it sliced along Xena’s ribs instead of plunging into her back.
The pain brought her back to reality, and not just the pain from the sword, but the pain of Marcus’s betrayal finally hitting home ... Petracles betraying her wasn’t all that surprising, but Marcus joining him ... that hurt. She could see the truth on Marcus’s face as he rushed up and dragged Gabrielle away from Petracles, who cursed at the loss of surprise and aimed another blow at her. She blocked it by reflex, but that left her side wide open and Draco slashed her across the shoulder, leaving a deep wound. Her anger took over and she let out a battle cry that made them all freeze in their tracks, even Petracles.
She spun away from Petracles and started slashing left and right, cutting down her attackers methodically, working her way through them like sheep at slaughter as she let her anger take over; Draco was one of the first to die. When the last one fell, she turned to face Petracles, her face and body drenched in blood and a feral grin on her face. Petracles backed up a step and she suddenly felt the weight of his betrayal descend on her like a landslide, realizing he must’ve used his persuasive powers to turn Marcus against her. She hadn’t expected any better from Petracles, but Marcus’s betrayal still stung.
She looked past Petracles to where Marcus was holding his dagger to Gabrielle’s throat. “Why, Marcus? Why? I trusted you ...”
Marcus shook his head. “It’s your own fault, Xena. You’ve gotten too soft, lost sight of what we’re supposed to be doing here.”
“We’re protecting Amphipolis...”
Petracles laughed. “Don’t give me that! You and I both know Amphipolis hasn’t been in any danger since we scattered Cortese’s army. Everything else was just for fun, a way to work off some of that anger and hate you have inside you. And we were with you, until you lost sight of the goal. With you leading us, we could’ve conquered all of Greece, maybe beyond. But you suddenly got a conscience. I thought when Lyceus died, you’d finally decided to give in and be who you’re meant to be, but I guess that kid got to you.”
Xena looked over at Gabrielle in Marcus’s grasp, not daring to move. “That kid has more guts and more sense than all of you bastards put together.”
Petracles laughed. “Not for long. Unless you want your little friend to bleed out like a cut pig, you’ll drop your sword and let me gut you.”
Xena looked at Gabrielle, who was obviously terrified, but had a look of stubborn defiance on her face. “Don’t do it, Xena. Don’t worry about me—” Her voice was cut off as Marcus gripped her around the throat.
Xena looked at the terrified girl, thinking about the hurt on her face at Xena’s harsh words the day before. Why had she saved Xena’s life? The warrior felt a rush of guilt as she realized this relative stranger was more loyal to her than two men she’d thought friends. She had a choice to make and there was no doubt in her mind what that choice would be. “All right,” Xena shouted, tossing her sword down a few feet away. “I surrender.”
“Smart decision, Xena,” Petracles said, stepping forward and raising his sword. “I’m really sorry it had to come to this, but even without you I think we can go pretty far.” He thrust the sword at her chest, but she spun out of the way, letting the deadly blade slice across her right arm as she pulled her dagger and used the momentum from her spin to fling it unerringly into Marcus's throat. She dove to the ground, rolling and picking up her sword in time to block Petracles’s next blow. She rose, bringing her knee up into his groin. He doubled over and she brought her sword down with a strength borne of anger, cutting his head clean off.
She was studying Petracles’s headless body, wondering how she could’ve been so blind, when she heard a whimper that brought her back to reality. She rushed over and heaved Marcus’s body off Gabrielle, her heart almost stopping when she saw the girl was covered in blood. She pulled Gabrielle into her arms to check her for wounds, but found none and Gabrielle said in a tremulous voice, “I think I’m all right ... just scared.” Xena nodded but before she could think of anything to say, Gabrielle’s eyes widened. “But you’re hurt, aren’t you? You’re bleeding all over the place.”
Xena nodded, gritting her teeth against the pain. “Yeah, I’ve got to get back to my tent and get my healing supplies so I can stop the bleeding.”
“You’ll never make it by yourself. I’ll help you.”
Xena’s eyes stung with tears at Gabrielle’s unwavering loyalty ... loyalty Xena knew she didn’t deserve. Still, she did need help. “Grab those cloaks from the guys I killed.”
Gabrielle obeyed, gingerly lifting the cloaks from the bloodied forms and helping Xena wrap them around the wounds in her shoulder and side. Xena staggered to her feet, leaning on Gabrielle until her dizziness passed. She knew she had to get the bleeding under control fast, so she hurried down the hill and into her camp, practically dragging Gabrielle with her. As they made their way towards Xena’s tent, the warrior straightened up and made an effort to appear normal, waving off the concerns of her men over the bloody rags wrapped around her and snarling that she didn’t want to be disturbed.
Once she and Gabrielle entered the tent, Xena almost collapsed from relief and blood loss. She stumbled over to the sleeping furs and directed Gabrielle to bring her healing kit. Xena’s hands were shaking from loss of blood and fatigue after the fight, so Gabrielle had to take the needle from her and thread it herself. Xena took the needle back and took several deep breaths, willing her hands to steady. She asked Gabrielle to pinch the edges of her shoulder wound together and proceeded to sew it up as best she could. She had Gabrielle prepare another needle, but realized she couldn’t sew the wound on her side, so she asked Gabrielle to do it. The girl’s eyes widened in fear, but her hands were steady as she stitched the gaping wound closed.
As Gabrielle was cutting the thread, Xena glanced up at her and was shocked to see tears streaming down the younger girl’s face. “Gabrielle, what’s wrong? Did you get hurt when Marcus fell on you?”
Gabrielle shook her head. “No, I just ... it’s all just ... so much. I never ... I mean, the stories never tell about this part ...”
Xena felt a pang of guilt as she realized how Gabrielle must be feeling, having witnessed a brutal fight, almost being killed herself, and now forced to sew up a bloody wound. No wonder she was overwhelmed. Xena thought back to her first battle—and the nightmares she’d had later—and recalled finding Lyceus shaking in the barn after his first kill. “Oh, Gabrielle, I’m sorry. I never thought how it must be for you.” She reached out and pulled the sobbing girl into her arms, holding her close as she cried.
After a few minutes, Gabrielle stopped crying and pulled back, wiping her eyes. “I’m sorry. Here you are hurt and I’m acting like a stupid baby.”
Another stab of guilt pierced Xena and she put her blood-stained hands on either side of Gabrielle’s face, gently raising the girl’s head until their eyes met. “No, you’re not a baby. Anyone would be bothered by everything that’s happened, and you’ve handled it better than most people. And as for being stupid ... you’re a lot smarter than me.” Gabrielle looked at her, confusion on her face. “You were right about Marcus all along. I should’ve listened to you ... and I’m sorry for what I said to you.”
Gabrielle swallowed and nodded. “That’s all right.”
“No, it’s not. You were trying to help me and I ... I got mad. I guess I just didn’t want to believe Marcus was capable of something like that and I took it out on you. I’m sorry for what I said.”
Gabrielle smiled. “It’s fine, Xena. If someone told me my friend was a bad person, I wouldn’t believe it either ... and I’d probably get pretty mad about it.”
Xena couldn’t believe how understanding this girl was and didn’t think she deserved that sort of forgiveness. She led Gabrielle over to a wash basin and rinsed the blood off their hands. “Gabrielle ... how did you know I was in trouble today?”
“Well, I was sure Marcus was the guy I heard talking the other night, so I kept an eye on him and when I saw you leaving with him, I followed you. I didn’t think I’d be much help in the fight, so I hid, but when Petracles showed up and tried to stab you ... well, I couldn’t just stand there and watch.”
Xena dried Gabrielle’s hands on a piece of linen. “But why did you want to help me at all? After how I treated you yesterday ... don’t tell me that didn’t hurt you.”
Gabrielle looked down for a moment, then raised her eyes to Xena’s, her face filled with sadness again. “It did, but ... guess I just ... didn’t want you to die.” Tears rolled down her cheeks again and Xena brushed them away gently. “I know you’ve done things ... bad things ... like invading Poteidaia and those other places. But I just feel like, deep down inside, you’re a good person, even when you aren’t acting like it. And I didn’t think you deserved to be stabbed in the back by your friend.”
Xena’s breath caught in her throat and she didn’t even notice the tears on her own face until Gabrielle reached up to wipe them away. Xena swallowed the lump in her throat. “Well, it turns out Marcus was no friend, but you are. That’s another thing I got wrong ... you are my friend, Gabrielle. Right now, you’re probably the only friend I’ve got.”
This time Gabrielle pulled Xena down for a hug, which the warrior might’ve resented if it hadn’t been so comforting. Strange how a small gesture could have such a large impact. After enjoying the warmth for a few moments, Xena straightened up and started cleaning the blood from the fight off of herself. “Well, that’s what I get for trusting too easily. I won’t make that mistake again.” Seeing the troubled look on Gabrielle’s face, Xena quickly added, “Except for you, of course.”
But the worried look remained as Gabrielle placed her hand on Xena’s forearm. “Xena, you can’t just close yourself off from everyone. Think how lonely that would be. That’s not a good way to live.”
Xena shook her head. “It’s probably the best way, not just for me, but for everyone around me. Maybe it would’ve been better if you’d just let Petracles kill me.”
Gabrielle sat back in shock. “Don’t say that, Xena. You’re a good person inside, I know you are ...”
Xena sighed and shook her head. “Gabrielle, I appreciate the thought, but Petracles was right. There is a ... darkness in me. There’s some part of me that loves the fighting ... the killing. Even if Cortese hadn’t attacked Amphipolis, I might still have turned out bad.”
Gabrielle grabbed Xena’s shoulders and shook her, eliciting a groan of pain as the movement put pressure on her wound. Gabrielle pulled back quickly. “I’m sorry, I didn’t mean to hurt you. But listen ... I’m not blind, I know you like fighting, I saw it when you were knocking those guys around in the square, or when you saved me from Draco. And I saw it when ... when you killed Petracles and those other guys in the clearing.” Xena looked down, ashamed, but Gabrielle put a hand under her chin, forcing her to look the younger girl in the eye. “But I’ve also seen the good part of you, the part that helped me and saved Tympani, the part that misses her brother, the part that wanted to save her town.”
“But is that part even real, or was that all just an excuse to do what I wanted to do ... fight, loot, kill?”
Gabrielle pondered that for a moment. “Well, maybe it’s both. People aren’t just one thing, they’re lots of things. I’m a farm girl, but somewhere inside I’m a bard too. And as much as I love my family, there’s a part of me that wants to get out of Poteidaia and see the world, have adventures, fight bad guys. When you were fighting those men, some part of me thought it was exciting and wished I could help you. Does that make me a bad person?”
“Of course not, but it’s not the same thing.”
“Sure it is. Everyone probably has good and bad parts of themselves, but I think the good part of you is stronger than the bad part. If you like fighting, you can use that part of yourself to fight evil, like you did today. You could be a hero, like Theseus or Hercules.”
Xena snorted. “I don’t think I’m the hero type, Gabrielle.”
“That’s because you’ve never tried it. But if you do good things, you’re a good person ... that’s all there is to it. The part of you that likes fighting can just fight for good.”
Xena mulled that over for a bit. Could she really channel her dark impulses into doing good? Gabrielle’s equating her to heroes like Hercules and Theseus was laughable, but if she used her fighting skills to help people on a smaller scale ... would that make her a good person? She shook her head. “That’s an interesting thought, but I’m not sure I could do it. My darker impulses are pretty strong.”
Gabrielle pursed her lips and gave Xena a knowing nod. “Well, maybe you need someone to help you ... someone who could let you know if you’re going too far.” Her voice lowered and she gave Xena a shy glance. “Someone who believes in you.”
Xena’s heart leapt as she took in the meaning of Gabrielle’s words. This girl must be crazy to believe in her ... or did she just see things more clearly than anyone else? Gabrielle obviously thought there was something fundamentally good in Xena ... could she be right? “Sounds like a full time job,” Xena said, her natural cynicism asserting itself.
Gabrielle shrugged. “Well, a bard who came through town once told me that one moment of patience can be worth ten years of peace. And I can be very patient when I have to.” She gave Xena a dazzling smile ... one the warrior couldn’t help returning.
Xena shook her head, amazed at how a few words from this girl could put things into perspective. Did she really want to spend the next ten years fighting, conquering towns and turning herself into a warlord like Cortese? “Well, I’m not even sure where to start.”
Gabrielle’s face became sombre. “You could start by sending your army home.” Xena’s breath caught in her throat as her instincts warred with her logic. Gabrielle leaned forward and squeezed Xena’s hand. “I think you’ve done what you wanted ... you’ve showed everyone that Amphipolis can fight back. I know you ‘re worried about Cortese coming back, but if he does, you can just raise another army and take care of him, then send them home again.”
Xena sat back as she pondered the girl’s words. She obviously had no idea how difficult it was to raise an army, never mind to keep it going between fights. Still, there was the germ of an idea there.
She was still torn when Gabrielle leaned forward and said, “Xena, if Lyceus was here, what would he want you to do?” That hit her hard. Lyceus had always stood up for anyone in trouble, so he’d be appalled at what she’d become. If he were alive, he’d agree with Gabrielle all the way. Then again, if he were still alive, maybe it never would’ve come to this in the first place.
Xena didn’t think this was the time to decide her future, so she distracted Gabrielle by suggesting they get out of their bloodied clothing. Xena changed into a new outfit and gave Gabrielle one of her tunics, which almost fit her like a dress. Xena added a belt to keep the tunic from hanging on the girl’s thin frame and suddenly realized she was starving. “Hey, are you hungry? We can have something here and then I’ll take you home.” Gabrielle agreed and they had a quick lunch, taking portions of the camp stew and bread since Xena no longer knew whom to trust. Maybe it was time to disband the army, if only to keep the paranoia from driving her crazy. She told several of her lieutenants that she wanted everyone gathered in the market square that afternoon.
After lunch, Xena led Gabrielle to the square, where her entire contingent was gathered, along with a sizable number of Poteidaians. When Gabrielle’s father saw her with Xena, he ran across the square, stopping a healthy distance from the warrior and looking Gabrielle over carefully, taking in the tunic she was wearing. “Gabrielle, are you all right? When you didn’t come back this morning, we got worried.”
“I’m fine, father. I was just ... helping Xena with something.”
Xena nodded to Herodotus. “That’s quite the girl you have here. Very smart, and brave as a lion.” Gabrielle flushed at the praise and Herodotus looked at her curiously, nodding in cautious agreement at Xena’s assessment of his daughter.
With a wink to Gabrielle, Xena stepped up onto a plinth and waited for the crowd noise to settle as all eyes turned towards her. She took a deep breath and said, “I’ve called you all here to let you know that I’ve come to a decision. Months ago, I organized this army to stop Cortese when he attacked Amphipolis. We accomplished that, but I lost my brother.” She stopped, swallowing the lump in her throat. She looked at Gabrielle and the compassion she found in the girl’s eyes steeled her resolve. “I thought going out and taking as many surrounding villages as possible would be a good defense if Cortese—or someone like him—ever returned. But somewhere along the way, I lost sight of what we were supposed to be doing ... and why we were doing it.”
She looked down at the ground, remembering the look on Lyceus’s face as she carried him home. Gabrielle was right ... he wouldn’t have agreed with her choices lately. “We started out trying to stop bad people from taking advantage of us, but we ... I ... ended up becoming like them. I’m sorry for that, and for all the pain I’ve caused, but now it’s time to stop, while we still can.”
A murmur of discontent rippled through the soldiers, although the Poteidaians looked more perplexed than anything. Xena took another glance at Gabrielle, who gave her a smile of encouragement. “That’s why, as of right now, I’m disbanding the army. All of you ... go home. Our job is done.”
The murmur rose to a clamour as the soldiers looked at each other in confusion. One of them turned to her and spoke. “Xena, we’ve got a good thing going here. We don’t really want to just walk away from it.”
Xena felt her temper rise. “It was an order, not a request. I’m still in charge of this army and I say it’s run its course. If anyone wants to dispute that, I’m willing to entertain all comers.” That quieted them a bit, since Xena had proven her mettle when she’d first taken over the army and most of the soldiers knew better than to challenge her. “And if any of you get any ideas about trying to kill me quietly ... well, go ask Petracles, Marcus, and Draco how that worked out for them. You’ll find them in the clearing above the river ... if the scavengers haven’t gotten to them yet.” That got a reaction, as every man in her army knew how close she and Marcus had been, not to mention Petracles. If she was willing to kill them for betraying her, nobody was immune.
The soldier who’d spoken earlier nodded. “All right, Xena, have it your way. We’ll strike camp tomorrow and move off.”
Xena caught him with a hard stare. “Don’t get any ideas about continuing on without me. I’ll be watching you.” Her eyes swept the crowd and she saw most of the soldiers nodding reluctantly, unable to meet her hard stare. She sighed. “Look, I know you were starting to enjoy the fighting ... so was I. But that’s the problem. We’re turning into the people we hate. Let’s just go back to our homes and be glad we stopped before we went too far.”
That got a murmur of grudging approval. The soldier piped up again. “But what if Cortese or some other bastard decides to come after us again?”
Xena smiled. “I’ve been thinking about that. A good friend of mine,” she shot a quick look at Gabrielle, watching with fascination, “gave me an idea. I think we should organize some kind of defensive force, an army that drills constantly to stay in shape, but just goes about their own business until there’s a threat. The troops can come together and fight until the threat is gone, then go back to their normal lives with occasional training.”
That created a buzz through the crowd and Xena let them mull the idea over for a few minutes before continuing. “And it’s not just Amphipolis that could do this. Any small town could be the target of raiders, so it makes sense for everyone to be prepared. Maybe we could even organize a mutual defense ... get all the surrounding towns to train together and help each other.” The buzz spread to include the Poteidaians, who seemed equal parts intrigued and suspicious. “I know most towns around here have no reason to trust me, so you can pick whoever you want to organize things. But I think it’s important to stand together, so we don’t die separately. And it could have other benefits too, like increasing trade and goodwill among neighbours.”
One of the Poteidaians spoke up. “That’s all well and good, but all this goodwill talk sounds a little strange from someone ho conquered our town a few days ago. How do we know this isn’t some new scheme of yours, Xena? Why in Hades should we trust you?”
Xena heard the sounds of agreement pass through the crowd and knew she had no answer. He was right ... they had no business trusting her. She wasn’t even sure she trusted herself anymore. But before she could reply, Gabrielle stepped forward and climbed up onto the plinth beside her. “Because I do. Xena saved my life ... twice ... and I believe she really means what she’s saying. She feels bad about what she did and wants to make it right. I trust her with my life, so I think you can too.”
Tears blurred Xena’s eyes and she turned quickly to wipe them away. She put her hand on Gabrielle’s head and bent down to whisper in her ear. “Thanks. I think you’re a lot easier to trust than I am.”
Gabrielle laughed. “It’s the innocent face. Gets them every time.” Xena couldn’t help chuckling at that, since that innocent face had gotten through her own defenses as if they weren’t even there.
***************************************************************
Gabrielle’s parents hadn’t been happy about her running off after Xena without a word, but they only yelled a little and didn’t bother punishing her. She overheard her mother saying that no punishment would ever dampen her rebellious spirit, which Gabrielle took as a compliment. She spent the next day around the house, helping with chores and entertaining Lila. She knew Xena’s soldiers were leaving Poteidaia and didn’t want to get in the way. But the day after, she finished her chores quickly and headed out to look for Xena. The mood in town was certainly different, with most of the soldiers already gone. As she wandered through the streets, Gabrielle picked up snippets of conversation that told her Xena was as good as her word and had made sure her army left without incident. She’d even given the village council some money to compensate them for any damage done.
Gabrielle found Xena supervising the return of some animals her men had taken. As soon as the beasts were back in their corrals, Xena dismissed the last few soldiers, telling them to head back to Amphipolis. Gabrielle waited until they’d ridden off before approaching the warrior, who turned to smile at her. “Well,” Gabrielle said, returning the grin with one of her own, “you sure work fast. I thought it might take a week to get everyone out of here.”
Xena shook her head. “Nah, better to do it fast so nobody gets any ideas. I didn’t want them starting any trouble.”
“Well, the people in town are impressed. I even heard a few nice things about you on the way here.” Xena snorted and Gabrielle laughed. “And from what my father says, they’re thinking about your idea of forming a group defense.”
Xena looked surprised. “Huh, I didn’t think they’d go for that so fast. But it is a good idea, as long as they can find somebody to organize it all, and supervise the training.”
“Why can’t you do it? You’re a great fighter, and you have a way of getting people to follow you.”
Xena gave her a look of disbelief. “You think people are going to trust someone who invaded and conquered their town? I’m the last person they’d want in charge. In fact, I should probably get moving before they decide to hold a trial ... or a hanging.”
Gabrielle’s throat tightened at the thought of Xena leaving, even though she knew the warrior couldn’t stay in Poteidaia forever. “Well, I’ll miss you, but I guess you’ll be glad to get home after all this mess.”
Xena looked at her in confusion. “Home?”
“Amphipolis. You must be looking forward to getting back there.”
Xena barked out a short laugh, devoid of humour. “Gabrielle, I’m not going back to Amphipolis.”
“Why not?”
Xena sighed. “I told you what happened to my brother. My mother blames me for that, and ... she’s right. It’s my fault Lyceus died. I can’t go home again without remembering that. And I don’t think I’d be welcome anyway.”
Xena looked away and Gabrielle felt a rush of sympathy. She knew Xena felt guilty about her brother, but she hadn’t realized how that had cut her off from her home ... and her mother. How lonely that must be for her. Xena really needed a friend, someone who believed in her more than she believed in herself. “Xena, what happened to Lyceus was terrible, but you shouldn’t let that push you away from everything you care about. Do you really think your mother wants to lose another child?”
Xena’s voice took on a bitter note. “Considering she slapped me and cursed my name the last time I saw her, I’d say she’s already given up on me.”
Gabrielle heard the pain in Xena’s voice and wanted to ease it if she could. A half-formed idea popped into her head. “Why don’t I come with you?” Xena gave her a blank look. “To Amphipolis I mean. Maybe I could talk to your mother, change her mind about you.”
Xena chuckled. “I appreciate the thought, but I don’t think so. My mother’s pretty stubborn.”
So am I, Gabrielle thought to herself. “But if you just let me talk to her—”
“Forget it,” Xena said, using a voice Gabrielle recognized as meaning “no arguments”.
Gabrielle realized she’d have to change tactics to get Xena to agree. She put on her best innocent face, honed over years of practice on her parents. “Fine. I’ll just go there on my own. I can ride Tympani. He’s doing much better.”
Xena looked at her as if she was crazy. “What? You can’t just ride to Amphipolis by yourself.”
Gabrielle shrugged, her face almost angelic in its lack of guile. “Well, since you won’t take me, I don’t really have much choice. Don’t worry, I’ll be fine. I’m sure I won’t get attacked by bandits, or eaten by bears, or get lost and wander around until I starve to death—”
“All right, all right!” Xena said, throwing her hands in the air. “You win. I’ll take you to Amphipolis to meet my mother. But don’t get your hopes up. You won’t be able to change her mind about me.”
Gabrielle smiled at the exasperated warrior. “Well, I just changed your mind about something you didn’t want to do, and I talked you into breaking up your army a couple days ago. So maybe I can talk your mother into forgiving you.”
Xena stared at her and burst out laughing. “You know, if anyone can, I’d bet on you. But your parents will never let you come with me.”
Gabrielle waved a hand dismissively. “Oh, please. I talked them into getting me a pony, this will be a breeze.”
Convincing her parents to let her go to Amphipolis with Xena turned out to be harder than Gabrielle had anticipated, in spite of all her wheedling, coaxing, and promising to do extra work around the farm. Hecuba was especially hesitant, mentioning that they’d almost lost both girls the previous winter. “Lost them?” Xena said with a pointed look at Gabrielle. “What happened?”
Gabrielle was much too humble to tell a story with herself as the hero, so she listened as Herodotus recounted how she and Lila had gotten lost in the snow the previous winter. Gabrielle blushed furiously at how impressed Xena looked when her father recounted how Gabrielle had kept her head despite the cold and brought herself and her little sister home safely. Gabrielle had never told her parents that Lila was on the point of giving up when she promised to give the younger girl her Solstice gift. And Gabrielle had kept that promise, giving Lila the doll she’d been anticipating all year.
“Well,” Xena said, ruffling Gabrielle’s hair, “I had no idea you were so brave, but I guess I shouldn’t be surprised.” Gabrielle reddened from her neck to her hairline as Xena turned to Hecuba. “I understand why you’re reluctant to let her wander off with someone like me, but I swear, on my brother’s memory, that I’ll bring Gabrielle home safe.” Hecuba held her gaze for a few moments, then gave her a curt nod, brushing aside Herodotus’s objections and shushing Lila when she kicked up a fuss about not being included in her sister’s adventure.
Gabrielle and Xena set out the next morning and Gabrielle was excited at the idea of her first real adventure. Of course, they were riding to a town less than twenty leagues away, but to a girl who’d rarely left the confines of Poteidaia, it seemed like a grand odyssey. She was determined write down everything that happened, no matter how insignificant, as a record of her travels.
Xena chose the route and Gabrielle soon realized she was taking them by a roundabout way; she claimed it was to go easy on Tympani, who was still recovering from his operation, but Gabrielle knew Xena was just trying to delay her homecoming as much as possible. Gabrielle didn’t mind, as the countryside was beautiful and it gave her more time with Xena, who had already begun teaching her various things: how to make a fire, how to clean fish (although she left the cooking to Gabrielle, claiming she was terrible at it), and the proper way to care for Tympani after a day’s ride. Gabrielle also used the extra time to draw Xena out, gently coaxing stories and reminiscences about Lyceus from her.
The closer they got to Amphipolis, the more depressed Xena became and Gabrielle thought talking about the good times she’d shared with her brother might cheer her up a bit. After a few days, she’d begun to form a picture in her head of this boy who’d died so young ...and she thought she could use that knowledge to help her fix things with Xena and her mother. Gabrielle knew she not only had to get Xena’s mother to forgive her daughter, but she had to get Xena to forgive herself. Talking about Lyceus did seem to help, Xena’s dark mood lightening a bit. Gabrielle even managed to wring a laugh or two out of the dour warrior.
They stopped in the early evening and camped only half a mile from the town, Xena not willing to face her mother in front of a tavern full of villagers. Gabrielle woke early to see Xena staring down through the morning mist at Amphipolis, a look of sadness on her face as she played with Lyceus’s Beryllis token, its gem gleaming in the pale dawn light. Xena was too nervous to eat, so they skipped breakfast and headed down into town, Gabrielle marvelling at the new sights ... although it wasn’t much different from Poteidaia, once she got a closer look. They stopped at the barn first, to stable Thunder and Tympani and Xena took her time feeding and grooming them. Finally, Gabrielle had to almost prod her toward the inn and they went inside.
The inn was quiet so early in the morning and Gabrielle watched Xena closely, as the warrior just stood in the quiet room without saying a word. Gabrielle knew she hadn’t been here in a while and felt bad that she was so unwelcome in her own home. A noise made them both turn and a woman bustled out of a door that probably led to the kitchen. When she caught sight of Xena, she stopped dead in her tracks and gave the taller woman an angry look.
“What are you doing here? Come to get some more men for your army? Is being a warlord harder than you thought?”
Xena swallowed and aid in a voice so low Gabrielle could hardly hear her, “No, I disbanded my army. I thought you would’ve heard from the people who came back ...”
“Oh, I heard all right, but I can’t imagine the great Xena giving up so easily. What are you up to?”
Xena looked down at the floor. “Nothing. I just ... someone convinced me I was making a mistake.” She shot a quick glance at Gabrielle, who’d been watching silently.
The older woman turned to look at Gabrielle, her face full of surprise. “Who’s this?”
“This is Gabrielle, she’s from Poteidaia and—”
Her mother’s face twisted with anger. “You kidnapped a child? Xena, how could you? I knew you weren’t the person you used to be, but—”
Gabrielle stepped forward, smiling brightly. “Excuse me, but Xena didn’t kidnap me. In fact, you could almost say I kidnapped her.” The older woman looked at her with confusion. “You see, Xena really didn’t want to bring me here, but I made her.”
Her eyebrows rose in surprise. “You ... made her?”
Gabrielle nodded. “Oh yes. I’m very hard to say no to. I think it’s because I’m so nice, but my mother says I’m just stubborn.”
Her mouth twisted into a grin and Gabrielle knew she as trying not to laugh. “Well, I’ve been called stubborn myself, dear, and it’s not always a bad thing. I’m Cyrene.”
Gabrielle smiled again as she shook the older woman’s hand. “Pleased to meet you. And yes, being stubborn really helps me sometimes.” She sensed Cyrene’s anger had cooled and thought she’d better take advantage of it. “I hate to be a bother, but would you have anything here to eat? We kind of skipped breakfast.”
Cyrene immediately came forward and took Gabrielle by the shoulders, steering her towards a table and pushing her into a chair. “Of course, dear. I’ll get you something right away.” She hurried into the kitchen and Gabrielle could hear plates rattling around. She looked over at Xena, standing like a statue near the door and beckoned her over to the table. Xena was reluctant, but finally gave in and sat down beside Gabrielle.
Cyrene returned from the kitchen with a big bowl of oatmeal and some milk, which she set down in front of Gabrielle. “There you are, dear. You just get started on that while I cook up some eggs and ham for you.” She shot a dark look at Xena. “Shame on you, Xena, not even feeding this poor child.”
“Oh, no,” Gabrielle said, shaking her head. “It’s not Xena’s fault. She was too nervous to eat this morning, so I said I wouldn’t eat anything either. But now I think we both have our appetites back, so maybe you could bring some of this oatmeal for Xena too? It’s really good ... way better than my mother’s.”
Cyrene brightened at the compliment and disappeared into the kitchen, coming back with another bowl that she set down roughly in front of her daughter. Xena pushed the bowl away. “I’m still not hungry.”
Gabrielle put her hand on Xena’s arm. “Come on, Xena, you have to eat something.” Xena crossed her arms and looked away, reminding Gabrielle of Lila when she was in a mood. She sighed and pushed her own bowl away. “All right, if you’re not eating, neither am I.”
Cyrene watched in fascination as Xena stared at Gabrielle for a few long moments, then begrudgingly pulled her bowl back and started to eat. Gabrielle smiled in triumph and attacked her own bowl with enthusiasm. Cyrene shook her head and went into the kitchen, returning shortly with two plates of ham and eggs.
Gabrielle waited to make sure Xena was going to eat before tackling her own plate, telling Cyrene between mouthfuls how good it was. When she finished, she pushed the empty plate away with a sigh of satisfaction, refusing Cyrene’s offer of seconds (though she wouldn’t have minded a bit more of that excellent ham). She studied Cyrene for a moment, going over what she wanted to say. It reminded her of when she practiced her stories, except this time it was far more important.
“Thank you, that was great.” She made a show of looking around. “This is a very nice inn, very homey. Xena says you’ve been running it since she was a child.”
“Since before that, actually. But thank you, I do my best to make it comfortable.”
Gabrielle nodded. “It can’t be easy, running things by yourself.” Cyrene’s face clouded with anger and Gabrielle reached over to take her hand. “Xena told me about Lyceus. I’m sorry. Losing him must’ve been terrible.”
Cyrene gave Xena a look of venom. “Well, I wouldn’t have lost him if it hadn’t been for her.”
Xena’s eyes dropped and she started to rise, but Gabrielle grabbed her arm. “No, Xena, stay. There’s something I want to say to both of you.” For a moment, she thought Xena would ignore her and walk out, but the warrior sat back down, her eyes focused in the table in front of her. Gabrielle looked back at Cyrene. “I know you blame Xena for Lyceus dying and she blames herself too.”
“And well she should. If Lyceus hadn’t followed her into battle, he’d still be alive!”
Gabrielle saw a look of hurt flash across Xena’s face and squeezed her hand in sympathy. “That’s what Xena said too, but I’m not so sure. She told me Lyceus was the sort of person who always worried about other people, about their feelings, about whether they were in trouble. She said he always hated to see anyone mistreated.”
Cyrene’s expression softened. “Yes, that’s true. He was always concerned about others, very unselfish.” Her face hardened again as she looked at Xena. “Not like her, who took half the village on her mad crusade, acting like a warlord, killing people ...”
Gabrielle stood and grasped both Cyrene’s hands, looking her straight in the eye. “That’s not fair. Xena started out wanting to protect her village, her family, from Cortese and his raiders. She and Lyceus were both trying to stop anyone here from getting hurt.”
“Yes, but it didn’t end there, did it?” Cyrene said bitterly.
Gabrielle shook her head. “No, it didn’t. I think Xena forgot who she was and what she was supposed to be fighting for. Maybe losing Lyceus made her lose herself for a while, but she found herself again, before it was too late.” She glanced at Xena, who was still staring at the table, a blank look on her face. “And I’m not sure she ever completely lost who she was. She saved my life, twice, and she helped my pony Tympani. I think she’s a lot like Lyceus ... a good person who cares about other people. And since you’re their mother, I guess they both got that from you.”
Cyrene could hardly refute that, but she shook her head. “I know what you’re trying to do, Gabrielle, and I appreciate it, but it won’t bring my son back.”
Gabrielle bit her lip. “No, nothing will ever do that. But a travelling bard once told me that the dead can hear our thoughts. Now, I have no doubt that Lyceus loved both of you with all his heart. So what do you think he’s feeling now, knowing that you two are mad at each other? If he was here, what would he tell you to do?”
Xena and Cyrene both looked at Gabrielle, then at each other. Cyrene smiled. “He’d probably tell us to stop being so damn stubborn and just make up.”
Gabrielle nodded and turned to Xena, taking her hand. “And I’m pretty sure he’d tell you to stop blaming yourself for what happened. If he was as selfless as you say, he would’ve gone to fight with or without you, and he wouldn’t want you hating yourself for his choice.”
Xena swallowed and nodded, tears in her eyes. “You’re right. It’s hard, but maybe I can try to stop feeling so guilty.”
Cyrene’s eyes were brimming with tears too. “And I’ll try to remember all the good you tried to do and stop blaming you.” Xena and Cyrene rose and hugged each other as Gabrielle watched, wiping tears of happiness from her own eyes. The two women finally let go and sat down again. Cyrene wiped the tears off her face and looked at Gabrielle. “Did Xena really save your life?”
Gabrielle nodded. “Oh, yes, she just jumped in to help me without a second thought.”
Cyrene gave Xena an admiring glance, which made the warrior blush. “What my young friend here is forgetting to mention is that she also saved my life, and almost got herself killed doing it.”
Cyrene’s eyes widened as Xena told the story and it was Gabrielle’s turn to blush. “Well, that was nothing really. I knew she was in trouble and needed help, so I helped her.”
Cyrene’s eyebrows rose at the calm way Gabrielle dismissed her heroism. She shot a wry look at her daughter and said, “Be careful of this one, Xena ... she’s dangerous.”
Xena laughed. “Yeah, I know.”
************************************************************
Xena and Gabrielle spent the day around the inn, Xena watching in amusement as Gabrielle charmed her mother and half the people in town. She traded cooking tips and swapped stories with Cyrene (who told some embarrassing ones about Xena as a child), and when evening fell, Gabrielle got up and recited a couple of stories to the inn’s patrons. She was no professional bard, but she had a way of pulling the audience in with her heartfelt rendering of familiar tales. She ended up embarrassing Xena even more when she told—crudely but with genuine feeling—about how Xena saved her and their adventures together in Amphipolis. By the end of the night, the people of Amphipolis were looking at Xena with slightly less fear and anger, and Cyrene was more welcoming than ever. After Gabrielle went to bed, Xena sat up talking with her mother, working out some of the issues between them ... something that wouldn’t have been possible without Gabrielle’s overtures easing the tension between them.
The next day, Gabrielle wasn’t eager to return home just yet, so Xena took her out to show her some of her favourite spots around Amphipolis. They also went to visit Lyceus’s tomb and Gabrielle laid some flowers on his sarcophagus. Xena really did believe Gabrielle was right about forgiving herself (and that Lyceus would want that too), but it was hard to shake off the guilt that had burdened her for so long. She was silent, lost in her own memories, as she and Gabrielle wandered along the river. Gabrielle amused herself by chasing butterflies and looking for berry bushes, but finally suggested they stop and rest for a bit.
They sat on a rock, gazing out over the river. After a while, Gabrielle turned to her taciturn companion and said, “Xena, what did your mother mean yesterday when she said I was dangerous? I’m too small to hurt anyone and I don’t even know how to fight.”
Xena smiled. “Yeah, but you have something a lot of people don’t. You have this ability to see what’s inside people, to see who they really are, even when they can’t see it themselves. That’s a very powerful thing.”
Gabrielle thought about that for a minute. “Huh, I never really thought of it like that. I just try to understand why people do things, what they’re feeling.”
Xena nodded. “Most people don’t bother trying to understand anyone, they just make up their minds and that’s that.”
“Even about themselves?”
Xena picked up a stone and turned it over in her hands. “Especially about themselves.” She tossed the rock with a sudden motion, watching as it skipped across the river.
“You mean like how I think you could be a hero? I know my story bothered you last night.”
Xena gave her a self-deprecating smile. “It didn’t really bother me, I just don’t think you’re seeing the real me.”
“Or maybe I am. You did just say I was good at that, right?”
Xena looked at the earnest expression on Gabrielle’s face and felt an unexpected surge of warmth ... not for Gabrielle, but for herself. “Yeah, maybe. I guess if you think there’s something heroic about me ... well, I can at least try to see if you might be right.” Gabrielle grinned at her and she shook her head. “I’ll need a bard to tell everyone about my adventures. I guess that’s you.”
It was Gabrielle’s turn to look abashed, lowering her head as her face turned red. “Xena, I’m no bard. I just tell a few stories that I’ve heard.”
Xena put her hand under Gabrielle’s chin, forcing the younger girl to look her in the eye. “Hey, don’t sell yourself short. Last night when you were telling that story about what happened in Poteidaia, the people in the inn were really captivated. You certainly made my mother see me differently.” Gabrielle’s blush deepened at the praise. “So if you want me to believe I can be a hero, you have to believe you can be a bard. Deal?”
Gabrielle smiled. “Deal.”
She picked up a stone and tried to skip it like Xena had, but it landed wrong and sank immediately. Xena showed her how to do it and soon they were both skipping stones across the river. After tossing all the nearby stones, Gabrielle turned to Xena and said, “So, do you think you could teach me how to fight?”
Xena’s breath caught in her throat as she remembered practicing swordplay with Lyceus. “No, you’re not a fighter, Gabrielle. And I don’t want to turn you into one.”
Gabrielle nodded. “I know what you mean and you’re right. I don’t want to hurt anyone, I just ... I just get tired of people pushing me around.”
Xena looked at the girl, recalling her screams when Draco was hitting her and the terror on her face when Marcus was holding the dagger to her throat. It might not hurt to teach her a few things, just so she could defend herself. She was so small she probably couldn’t even lift a sword, but maybe something lighter—and non-lethal. Maybe a staff ... yeah, that could work. “Well, I guess I could show you a few things ... just to keep people from messing with you.”
Gabrielle’s face brightened and she jumped up to hug Xena, pulling back right away with a mumbled apology. “We’d better head back,” Xena said, ignoring the warm feeling in her gut from Gabrielle’s unbridled display of affection. “Mother wanted you to tell some more stories tonight and tomorrow ... you’ll have to head home.” Xena’s chest tightened and she was surprised by how the thought of Gabrielle leaving bothered her. She’d really come to enjoy the girl’s company; it was nice to be with someone who didn’t expect anything from her and just accepted her for who she was.
As they strode through the grassy meadows back towards town, Gabrielle gave her tall companion a sidelong glance. “So, if you’re going to teach me fighting, I guess we’ll be seeing each other again?”
Xena heard the note of apprehension in Gabrielle’s voice, but wasn’t sure where it was coming from. “Well, sure we’ll see each other again. Why wouldn’t we?”
Gabrielle stopped walking and sighed. “Xena, I know I kind of pushed myself on you and didn’t really give you much choice if you wanted me around or not. I know you said we were friends, but you probably already have friends your own age ... and I’m sure hanging around with a kid who doesn’t know when to shut up isn’t your idea of fun, so ... if you didn’t really want to see me again, I’d ... I’d understand.”
Xena was touched by Gabrielle’s admission, knowing how hard it must have been for her. But Xena’s friends around Amphipolis had all been like her: young troublemakers who had too much energy and too few outlets for it. They’d followed her out of admiration for her twisted sense of humour—and later, for her fighting skills—but there’d always been a feeling of judgment behind their esteem. Gabrielle was different from all of them; she didn’t want anything other than friendship and she saw more good than bad when she looked at Xena. She reminded the warrior of Lyceus in a way. Xena knew Gabrielle couldn’t replace Lyceus—although they were alike in some ways, they were completely different in others—but she certainly hadn’t felt this comfortable around anyone since Lyceus died.
Xena took Gabrielle gently by the shoulders and smiled. “Gabrielle, I’m happy to spend time with you. You’re not like my other friends, but you are a lot of fun ... and a lot of trouble. Things will definitely never get boring with you around.”
Gabrielle laughed. “Thanks.” Her face grew more serious. “I’m glad we can be friends. I think ... I think you need me.”
A wry grin twisted Xena’s face. “As my conscience?”
Gabrielle’s voice softened as she took Xena’s hand. “No, to remind you that you’re not as bad as you think you are.”
A lump formed in Xena’s throat and she blinked back tears. “Yeah, I guess I do need that sometimes.”
“Anytime you need it, Xena, I’ll be here.” Xena nodded and put her arm around Gabrielle’s shoulders as they turned back towards town.
“So, do you like fishing?” Xena said.
“I’ve never really tried it.”
Xena smiled. “Don’t worry, I’ll teach you.”
Gabrielle returned her grin. “All right. Maybe while we’re fishing I can practice some of my stories for you. I can’t really do that at home. My family ... they don’t really understand the whole bard thing and ... I don’t really have too many friends.”
Xena realized Gabrielle was as much of an outcast in her own way as Xena was. “Sure. Sounds great.”
The next morning, they were off in good time (despite Gabrielle’s tendency to sleep late) and headed back to Poteidaia. The return trip was quicker since Xena wasn’t dreading the destination, but they did manage to stretch a two-day ride out into three, both reluctant to part ways.
When they reached home, Gabrielle’s family were all happy (and maybe a little surprised) to see her back safe and sound. She gave Lila some honey-cakes from Cyrene, which soon mollified the younger girl’s attitude over missing out on her older sister’s sojourn. Xena endured another of Gabrielle’s hugs as they said goodbye. “Don’t worry,” Xena said in a low voice, not wanting to alarm her parents, “I’ll be back to visit soon. We can go fishing.”
Gabrielle’s eyes were full of tears. “You promise?”
Xena’s throat tightened so much she was forced to whisper. “I promise. Besides, if I didn’t show up, you’d probably do something crazy like try to come to Amphipolis by yourself.”
A smile lit up Gabrielle’s tear-streaked face. “Yeah, probably.”
Xena wiped the tears from the girl’s face and turned to mount Thunder. She stopped with her hand on the saddle-horn, surprised at how hard it was to leave. An idea came to her and she turned back, dipping her hand into her belt pouch and pulling out Lyceus’s Beryllis token. She swallowed and held out her hand to Gabrielle, who stared at the token, then at Xena, her eyes wide.
“Xena, I can’t take this. It was your brother’s—”
“It’s all right. I ... I don’t think he’d mind.”
Gabrielle took the token and fastened it around her neck with shaking hands. She bit her lip, then threw herself into another ferocious hug, one Xena returned wholeheartedly. They finally broke their embrace and Xena mounted her horse, raising a hand in farewell and nodding to Gabrielle’s family. She exchanged one last look with Gabrielle before turning and riding away. Just before she topped a small hill, she turned to look back. Gabrielle was still standing watching her and Xena saw a flash as the sunlight reflected off the gem around the young girl’s neck. Xena raised her hand in farewell, knowing she’d be back soon. Gabrielle returned her wave and she turned and rode off, feeling like her chest was being squeezed by a giant fist.
Xena realized she was leaving some part of herself behind with Gabrielle, but that didn’t bother her, since she was carrying a part of Gabrielle home with her. Xena knew in some part of her soul that those pieces of each other would never be returned and would grow in the days and years to come, making them a part of each other forever.
But what neither of them would ever know was that Gabrielle’s kindness and compassion toward someone she should’ve seen as an enemy—her moment of patience—had not only changed Xena’s life forever ... but had altered the very course of history.
THE END