Myth-Understandings part 2

Gabrielle couldn't stop crying. There was a band of tightness in her chest that took all her breath away. Having gotten as far from the campsite - and Xena - as she possibly could, she just collapsed against the nearest tree and wept until her eyes felt like they had been rolled in sand. I can't believe I just blurted it out like that! Gods, I'm such an idiot! If she didn't hate me before, for sure she does now!

She never noticed that Xena had crept up on her until she felt the warrior's strong arms around her back, felt herself pressed against an armored breastplate, heard soothing words and murmurs of comfort whispered into her hair. Gabrielle sobbed in loss and grief, mourning what-could-have-beens and opportunities blasted into dust by her final, unthinking words.

At last, the tears stopped. For a moment, Gabrielle had been half convinced she'd turned into Niobe, forever cursed by the gods to gush a fountain's flood of sorrow. With a final hiccup, she took a deep breath and turned her face up to meet Xena's.

In the late afternoon, surrounded by tall, lush trees, faint trickles of sunlight painted her friend's face with splashes of shadow and brightness. ''All done?,'' Xena asked softly, wiping Gabrielle's face with one strong hand and handing her a scrap of linen with the other.

Xena gently laid one hand against the bard's tear stained and blotched face. Even with eyes veined in red and her face swollen, she's so beautiful. ''Well, I'll bet you've got Hades' own headache, and your nose is as round and red as an apple. C'mon back to the fire and I'll make you some herb tea.''

Gabrielle shook her head. ''No, Xena,'' she said sadly, ''It's bad enough that you think I'm some kind of whore or something, thinking I... well, that I slept with Iolaus, to put it mildly. And now, I'm sure you think I'm some kind of deviant. It's okay, really. I won't be a bother. If you'll just let me travel with you until we get to Erosia, I'll make my own way from there. I understand...,'' her voice trailed off into a small, heartbroken sigh. ''I promise you that I won't be upset. I can understand that you wouldn't want me around... after...''

Xena smiled and gripped the bard's shoulder tightly. ''Gabrielle, I was never sure of how you felt about me... I...'' She ran her free hand through her straight black hair. ''I... Hades, I'm not as eloquent as you. I just wanted you to be happy and I thought that if you loved Iolaus... I thought I could stand it better, knowing you were being taken care of by somebody who loved you. I would never think of you as a whore, or as anything other than the gentle, sweet and delightful woman I happen to love with all my soul.''

There. She'd said it, those words that had choked in her throat a thousand times. Now, she could only wait.

Gabrielle's green eyes widened and she wondered for a moment if she'd died and gone to the Elysian Fields. ''You mean... you love me?''

Xena nodded. ''I never claimed to be a poet, my sweet bard. Wildflowers make me sneeze, rhymes make my scalp itch, and most music I could live happily without. But yes, I do love you, and nothing will ever change that.''

Headache forgotten, Gabrielle flung her arms around the warrior - HER warrior, now and forever - and said, ''I love you, too, Xena. I always have.'' Her voice muffled by Xena's hair, she continued, ''Gods, you must think I've got nothing between my ears but air.''

Xena chuckled. ''Well...'' Gabrielle released her hold and mock glared at the grinning warrior. Flinging up both hands, Xena said, ''Okay, okay! I surrender! Just don't point those eyes at me like that, Gabrielle. It's like being held at dagger point.''

Gabrielle growled, ''Just don't make a habit of it, you big dumb warrior. I don't like to be teased.''

Xena's blue eyes sparkled with mischief. ''Oh, yeah?....,'' she purred, and Gabrielle's pulse quickened.

The bard put her arms around Xena's neck and began tugging that beautiful face down closer to her own. ''I want you to kiss me, Xena,'' she said huskily. ''Please.''

She didn't have to ask twice. Xena's face loomed above hers, and Gabrielle lost herself in those pale blue eyes, like aquamarines seen under clear mountain water, only finer and infinitely more precious. Their lips almost touched...

''Ouch! Take it easy, Hercules, will ya! I feel like I've got Mount Olympus in my butt!''

Frozen, the two woman stared at each other. Gabrielle was the first to break the silence. ''You don't think....?''

''Let's find out.'' Xena helped Gabrielle to her feet and the two of them moved deeper into the forest, guided by the two men's voices as they shouted at one another.

From their vantage point in the bushes, the two women held each other's hands and listened. By squinting carefully, they could make out two sets of feet in the brush opposite their hiding place. Hercules was standing directly behind Iolaus, who appeared to be bending over with his breeches around his ankles.

Xena's eyebrow was beginning to ache and Gabrielle's eyes were practically popping out of her head.

''I already told you, Iolaus! If you'd just stop jumping around like that, it would come out a lot faster.''

Hercules' tone held a touch of exasperation. ''I've already told you a million times already, if you hold still and be a little patient, I'll get it out. Besides, nobody told you to sit on it in the first place.''

''Well, how was I to know it would be sticking straight up like that? Besides, I fell on it! I didn't sit on it! I'm not the all-knowing son of a god, you know! Owwww!''

''Okay, Iolaus.'' Hercules sighed with relief. ''I'm all done. You can pull up your pants now.''

The two women exchanged looks. Then, by silent, mutual consent, they backed up and made their way to camp as quickly as they could. For once, Gabrielle had absolutely nothing to say.

High on Mount Olympus, the gods were having quite a time. The vast marble halls echoed and re-echoed to shouts of laughter. Even Hades, the dour god of the underworld, had been persuaded by Zeus to come up to Olympus and take a look at what was going on in the mortal world. He'd already thrown up twice.

Aphrodite, though vain and prone to claiming responsibility for matters of love that were more often spun by the Fates, had denied any knowledge of what was going on in the Alustrian Forest. In fact, she had laughed until nectar came out of her nose and had to be carried off by Artemis and Athena, still laughing hysterically.

Even Hera managed a snort or two of laughter, mostly at the thought of what a beating her stepson's precious reputation was going to take when word of his dubious activities got out. Maybe I can send Hermes to the Athenian Times with an exclusive...

Zeushad practically hurled himself off his throne and was rolling around on the floor, clutching his stomach and roaring. Demeter laughed so hard she wet herself and had to be excused. She was heard to say, as she bustled around a corner holding her wet gown in front of her, that she didn't know had gotten into those four, but somebody should appoint a delegation to find out.

Ares, still sulking over the implosion of his last plan to recapture the warrior princess, had, after a gut wrenching struggle to control himself, finally begun laughing like hyena, cackling so hard that his hair burst into flames.

Poseiden had cracked his trident, pounding it against the floor. Hephaestes got caught up in the mood and almost broke his other leg when he fell down in a fit of non-stop giggles.

Finally, though, when the howls of laughter had ceased and silence was punctuated only by occasional giggles and the wheeze of gods trying to catch their breathes, Zeus wiped the tears from his eyes and beamed. ''Okay, everybody,'' the king of the gods said jovially, ''nectar all around! Oh, me,'' he sighed, his belly aching. ''It's good to be a god.''

And in her small, dark, quiet corner, Atropos just smiled gently and kept on weaving.

Hercules held out his hand. In the palm was a small splinter, a single drop of blood on its sharp tip.

''Well, it felt a lot bigger. I'm a very sensitive guy,'' Iolaus said defensively. He'd been shot in the chest by the Hind, had the holy be-Zeus beaten out of him by numerous thugs, warlords and creatures of magic, he'd been in more bar fights than he cared to count, and he'd even died. But that splinter lodged in the tender flesh of his behind had felt like a war spear and he couldn't help giving vent to his feelings. Now, seeing how insignificant it was, he felt a little ashamed at behaving like such a baby.

''Oh.'' Hercules felt instant empathy. He knew the feeling. Been there, done that, as his half-sister Aphrodite was fond of saying.

''So, Herc... why'd you follow me out here? These woods are safe from bandits, there aren't any bloodthirsty warlords or supernatural monsters hovering over our shoulders... what's up?''

Hercules had almost forgotten his original mission, having been caught up in the desperate, life-or-death search for the splinter in Iolaus' butt. ''It's like this, my friend,'' the demi-god began, placing a companionable arm around the smaller man. ''You see, Xena and I heard you and Gabrielle when we were coming back from the stream and...'' Hercules tried to be fair, tried to be diplomatic, but in the end, he said what he felt. ''Zeus, Iolaus! Couldn't you have been a little more discreet?''

Iolaus stared in astonishment, his face a mask of confusion. ''Big guy, have you been eating those funny mushrooms again?''

Hercules swallowed. ''No, in fact I haven't eaten anything today, mushrooms or otherwise. Look, stop trying to change the subject. I know a man's got his needs, but couldn't you have waited until you got to Erosia? I mean, Gabrielle? You know how much she means to Xena...''

Iolaus interrupted with a smirk. ''In fact, I know more then you do about that subject, my friend.''

The handsome demi-god ran both hands through his hair and fought the urge to punch Iolaus halfway to Rome. ''Iolaus,'' he said warningly, ''Don't change the subject again. We're talking about you and Gabrielle.'' Seeing the look of stunned surprise on his friend's face, Hercules relented. ''I just wanted you to know that I hope... no, make that I know that you only have the most honorable intentions towards the young lady. And if you don't,'' he leaned down, fixing Iolaus with a lethal stare, ''then you'll have to deal with me. And whatever's left... Xena gets.''

Iolaus struggled between indignation and hilarity. ''Have you gone completly off your curule, Hercules? Me and Gabrielle? Not that she isn't a very nice girl,'' he said hastily, backing away from Hercules' menacing glare, ''but c'mon! It's me you're talking to over here! Good old free-as-the-air, afraid-of-commitment Iolaus! What in Hades made you think there was anything going on between me and Gabrielle?''

It was Hercules' turn to look poleaxed. ''I just... I mean, Xena and I overheard the two of you when we were coming back to camp. We thought...''

Iolaus let out a whoop. ''Oh, man! That's rich! That's as rich as Croesus! Listen, big guy, there isn't anything going on between me and the cute red-head. She had a leg cramp, that's all. I was helping her with a massage and she started letting the whole Alustrian Forest know it. Believe me, much as I wouldn't mind being with her, the fact is she's already taken.''

Hercules shook himself out of his state of shock. Now that Iolaus had explained, the whole thing seemed rather ridiculous. No doubt Xena will get a kick out of this, he thought. She does have a strange sense of humor. He forced himself to focus on Iolaus' last words, frowned and said, ''What do you mean, taken?''

As Iolaus continued his tale, Hercules felt astonished disbelief give way to amusement, then finally, he sighed, feeling definitely disquiet. So that explains Xena's reaction to the whole mess. Iolaus sure is lucky. If I hadn't been there, Xena would have whacked him into about a million pieces, and I doubt I'd be able to get Hades to cut him loose again.

''Listen, Iolaus,'' Hercules said when the blonde man finally ran down, ''when we get back to camp, you'd better let me talk to Xena, okay? She was a little upset...'' He almost chucked at Iolaus' gasp and the terror in his blue eyes. Bet you didn't think about that, did you? ''So just keep quiet, keep your head down and I'll do my best to get you out of this mess.'' As usual.

''Thanks, big guy,'' Iolaus said gratefully. He'd forgotten about Xena and her possible reaction to the whole misunderstanding about himself and Gabrielle. I sure hope she doesn't start foaming at the mouth. Then again, she seemed fairly calm before... Yeah, but now she's had a chance to think about it. His blues eyes widened. Oh, boy... I'm really in the cloacae now.

''Now remember, Gabrielle, don't say anything when they get back. Just act normally. They're two young, healthy men and...'' She stopped as she intercepted another killer glare from the bard. ''I just don't want you to get all flustered and say something you'll regret,'' Xena finished a little lamely.

''Ooooh, Xena! Don't say it, please. Look, I'm a bard, already! I've seen some of the scrolls old pouch-face Sesquiculus kept under the counter in Athens, the ones with the pictures? I'm not the little innocent from Poteidia anymore, you know.''

Xena kissed the tip of Gabrielle's nose and both women were silent for a moment. Sesquiculus the scroll seller's collection of pornography was famed throughout the city and beyond. The thought that her beloved bard had actually read some of the steamy scrolls made Xena's loins tingle. Sappho's banned treatise on how a woman pleases a woman, for instance...

Gabrielle rested her head on Xena's broad shoulder and sighed. Okay, so the golden moment passed, we have company (hopefully, said company will show up before full dark) and the fish burned to a crisp in all the excitement. Still, the amazon comforted herself in the knowledge that tomorrow afternoon, they would be in Erosia-By-The-Sea... and the thought of having the warrior all to herself in a clean, insect-and-Argo free inn made her feel very warm indeed, all the way down to her toes.

In fact, she was just starting to remember one scroll of Sesquiculus' in particular, written by the legendary Sappho. That one had been real popular at the Academy, and not just with the girls. The bard grinned wickedly. There were one, possibly two, maybe even three things she'd been dying to try...

These pleasant thoughts were interrupted by the emergence of Hercules and Iolaus. Both men seemed uncomfortable and for a moment, Gabrielle had the horrifyng thought that they'd heard the two women when they'd been... consorting in the bushes. But although Iolaus still looked pinched and nervous, Hercules looked a lot more relaxed. Well, I guess that's what love does for you, Gabrielle thought. They do make an attractive couple.

Xena pulled her arm away from the bard and sat up straight. ''Hello, boys. Glad you're back. We saved you some olives and flatbread. There was a slight... accident... with the fish.''

Hercules said, ''I'll eat later. Look, Xena, if you don't mind, I'd really like to talk to you for a few minutes.'' When the warrior hesitated, he said, ''Privately.''

Xena raised her eyebrow. ''Okay, if that's what you want. I'll be right back, Gabrielle. Look after Iolaus for me, will you?'' Her ice blue eyes twinkled.

Gabrielle stifled a giggle. ''Sure. You two run on ahead. I'll feed Iolaus and tidy up.''

She watched as the tall, handsome demi-god and her beloved warrior princess moved away from the campsite into the forest. Gods, she mused, those bushes are really getting a workout tonight.

Iolaus sighed and sat down across the fire from the bard, helping himself to a handful of black olives and a chunk of flatbread. ''Um, say, Gabrielle,'' he said awkwardly, ''did you and Xena... uh, talk while Herc and I were... walking?''

Walking, indeed! Gabrielle had a feeling she knew what he was referring to, but she decided to play dumb. Maybe he'd let her know what was going on. He hadn't been acting like himself since he'd arrived. ''What about,?'' she asked brightly.

Iolaus stifled a groan. He wasn't sure if he was up to two complicated explanations in one day. ''Well, Hercules was kinda under the impression that you and I... that is, that the two of us were,'' here goes nothing, he thought, ''lovers.'' There. The word was out in the open and he hoped to Zeus she wouldn't ask him to explain.

''Oh. You mean my lung exercises?,'' Gabrielle said, green eyes widening as she smiled. ''Sure. I told her all about it, she knows it was just one of those weird misunderstanding thingys. So that's okay.''

''Oh.'' Iolaus didn't know what else to say, so the conversation was briefly limited to ''More olives?,'' and ''Please pass the wine.''

Iolaus, his mouth full, could only stare dumbly at an equally shocked Gabrielle. Xena and Hercules?!!

''Xena, if you don't stop ordering me around, I'll just stay here on top of you until the sheep come home.''

''Zeus damn you, Hercules! I said push and I mean push! Are you the son of a god or are you just another Olympian wanna-be?'' Xena sounded like she was getting angry or possibly... aroused.

Hercules was getting exasperated for the umpteenth time that day. ''Look, if you think you can do this any better than I can, why don't you get on top?''

Hercules let out a long groan of effort and after a moment, so did Xena. Finally, there was a crashing thud and Xena's distinctive war cry ululated through the silent woods. Gabrielle's mind reeled. Hercules and Xena? She didn't know whether to laugh or cry.

Xena and Hercules had gone not too far away from the camp, mainly because even though she knew that she'd misunderstood what happened between Gabrielle and Iolaus, she still didn't want to leave her bard alone too long. After all, so many things had happened that day that she'd just about lost her last scrap of patience and her last shred of energy, and was looking forward to nothing more strenuous than a nice snuggle with Gabrielle and a good night's sleep.

Unfortunately, the Fates, a grinning Atropos in particular, had other things in mind.

''What I wanted to talk to you about is... you know when we were over by the stream and we heard Gabrielle and Iolaus? And we both thought...'' Hercules stopped when Xena held up a hand.

''That's old news, Hercules. Gabrielle told me the whole story while you boys were off examining the bushes.''

''Oh.'' For a moment, Hercules didn't know what to say. Mostly, he just felt relief. Gods, he was tired. Arguing with obnoxious cattle breeders for two days, then marching non-stop across the countryside... it had been a long day.

''Great. Glad that's settled,'' he said. ''I guess I'll take that dinner now... WATCH OUT!''

Xena's breath whooshed out of her lungs when the supernaturally strong body of Hercules collided with her, felling them both to the forest floor. Her head spun, her vision swam as with a thunderous crack, an immense tree, its bole so big around it could scarcely have been spanned by a Titan's hands, crashed majestically to the ground... landing squarely on top of Hercules' back.

For a moment, both were too stunned by the impact to speak. Then Hercules opened his eyes and winced. ''You okay?,'' he asked.

Xena looked up into his face. ''Yeah,'' she replied a little breathlessly. She turned her head to one side and realized that the demi-god was braced on his arms over her; the muscles quivered as she watched. She caught her breath. ''Hercules, I don't intend to die squashed like an ant under this log. I can't move much - you've got me pinned down, and frankly, I don't think even Archimedes could move this thing, lever or no lever. No use in trying to call for help. You're gonna have to push it off both of us.''

''No kidding.'' Hercules grimaced. Zeus, this thing was heavy. Still, he agreed with Xena. He had too many responsibilities in this life to get taken out by some stupid accident.

Xena squirmed around beneath him and finally managed to draw her legs up beneath his belly and plant her feet on his chest. Her knees were flat against her breastplate; Hercules just knew that couldn't be comfortable. Still, he had to grin. Their respective positions brought back some very pleasant memories...

The dark haired warrior glared up at him. ''Keep your mind on the business at hand, Hercules. Don't go getting distracted on me now.'' Hercules took a deep breath, steadying himself, and nodded. Xena continued, ''Okay, on the count of three, you push with your arms, I'll push my legs against your chest. I'm sorry if you get bruised, but...''

''Yeah, I know, I know. Consider the alternative. Alright, warrior princess, whenever you're ready.'' He braced himself for the mighty effort he knew it would take, and sent a silent prayer up to Zeus to lend him strength for this task.

Gabrielle didn't know what to say. The stricken look in Iolaus' eyes made her forget the roiling bubble of anger in her stomach. ''Oh, Iolaus.. I'm so sorry,'' she began, then stopped when he made a small gesture.

''Me, too, Gabrielle.'' Iolaus felt sick. It had been bad enough when Xena had thought that he and Gabrielle were... now to hear Hercules and Xena out there, obviously having the good time he had been accused of, was a little much. Still, his heart went out to the poor little bard. Only a few candlemarks ago, she'd been so happy with her warrior lover... and now this.

Gabrielle got up and crossed to the other side of the fire, sat down next to Iolaus and put a comforting arm around him. Poor guy, she thought. His lover's out there with Xena - I'm gonna kill her! ''Do you want to talk about it?'' For now, her needs could wait; Iolaus was her friend and he needed her.

Iolaus wanted to cry. Here this poor girl was, her friend and lover out there in the woods, betraying her with his own best friend, and still, she thought of his discomfort first. ''Well... I didn't know how to say this earlier, but um... I know about you and Xena. And I wanted to say that... Oh, gods! This isn't going to come out right, Gabrielle, but I wanted you to know that I was really, really happy for the both of you, and now... I'm so angry with Hercules I could kill him.''

For what seemed like the nth time that night, Gabrielle was speechless. He knows? But how... ''Iolaus, did Xena tell you about us?''

Iolaus looked at her in astonishment. ''Zeus, no! I kinda accidentally overheard you guys when I was coming up on your camp earlier. I didn't want to say anything because you know how touchy Xena is, and then other stuff happened and I... never got the chance. It hasn't been exactly quiet around here lately.''

Gabrielle cast her mind back to earlier that afternoon. What had she and the warrior been doing that would make Iolaus think... Then she remembered and started giggling, hurt feelings momentarily forgotten.

''What is it? C'mon, Gabrielle! If you can laugh at a time like this, then share the joke, please!''

''Iolaus, Xena was scratching my back. I had this Tartarus of an itch, and, well, I guess I got a little loud.''

He stared at her in disbelief. ''It's true,'' she continued defensively, ''She was scratching my itch, just like you were massaging my Trojan horse away. I can't help being loud, you know. It just happens.''

Iolaus fumed. ''Loud? Zeus, Gabrielle, they must have heard you clear to Mount Olympus!'' Just what is it about these damned woods that causes these misunderstandings?, he wondered.

''Well, thank you for the thought, anyway. I appreciate your congratulations,'' Gabrielle said. Part of her was screaming in jealousy at the thought of Xena and Hercules alone in the woods together, and she was determined to keep up a dignified front. I don't want to let him know how much this is hurting me, she thought. Iolaus has his own problems right now.

Gabrielle dusted the front of her short skirt. ''You know, Iolaus, speaking of eavesdropping, Xena and I had to go into the bushes right after you and Hercules left. We heard you guys - I mean, we couldn't help it and we left as quickly as we could,'' she said, crossing her fingers behind Iolaus' back, ''but congratulations right back to you. I never thought of you... ahem. I never thought you and Hercules would get together like that, but I'm glad you two found each other.'' She hugged him hard. If Xena breaks these guys up because she can't control her urges - never mind about her and me - I'll shove my staff in her where Helios don't shine!

It was Iolaus' turn to be speechless. What was she saying? Him and Hercules? Now what in Gaia's name ever gave her that idea? Then he remembered and blushed to the roots of his fair hair.

''Um, Gabrielle... I'm not sure exactly how much you saw or what you heard,'' he began, but the little bard shushed him with a finger against his mouth. ''It's okay, Iolaus. There's nothing to be ashamed of,'' she reassured him. ''Why, I saw those kind of relationships all over Athens when I went to the Academy. Some of them were very loving. I hope you and Hercules are very happy together.'' I hope Xena doesn't spoil it for you.

Iolaus' face was so red he was sure blood would burst from his inflamed cheeks any second. ''No, really, Gabrielle. You've got the wrong idea. Totally. Look, I have a touch of...'' He hesitated, not sure if he wanted to make this embarrassing admission, but finally saw he had no choice. ''I ate some bad food and got a case of Echidna's Revenge. It's okay, really. It'll pass in a few days and I'll be my old regular self.''

Both of them grinned at his intentional puns. He continued, ''Anyway, I was in a real big hurry a while ago and I wanted to get as far away from camp as I possibly could. I'm sure you know why.''

Iolaus took a deep breath. Now comes the fun part... ''So, I took down my breeches, and like I said I was in this really big hurry, and I tripped and fell on a log. I had this splinter in my butt. I couldn't see to get it out myself, so Hercules helped me. End of story. I guess I got a little loud, too.''

Gabrielle sat still a moment, replaying in her head the men's conversation she had heard earlier. Now it was her turn to blush. ''Gods, Iolaus! I am so sorry! I don't know what's gotten into me tonight. I'm jumping to conclusions so fast you'd think I was a toad!'' Of course, it helped her mortification to know that Xena had also jumped to the same conclusion, and speaking of Xena, she thought, her anger beginning to get aroused again, where is that warrior witch? She's got some tall explaining to do...

Iolaus took Gabrielle's small hand in his own. ''Maybe we've fallen under some strange spell or something. I'm just glad I embarrassed myself in front of friends. If it had been strangers, I'd have probably fallen on my sword.''

Gabrielle snapped out of her anger-induced trance and smiled at the blonde warrior. ''Iolaus, you don't have a sword.''

Just then, Hercules and Xena showed up, their clothing disarranged, leaves clinging to their hair. ''What's so funny?,'' Xena drawled.

Gabrielle immediately stopped laughing. Now that the object of her wrath was in sight, she forgot about Iolaus; indeed, she forgot about anything except dragging an explanation out of the taciturn warrior princess. Fixing Xena with an imperious eye, she leaped to her feet and barked, ''Xena! I need to talk to you. Now!''

Without another word, the bard grabbed the astonished warrior by the hand and dragged her off into the woods. Hercules and Iolaus looked at each other, open mouthed. Finally, Iolaus smiled sheepishly. ''Those bushes are really taking a beating tonight, eh, big guy?''

Hercules wondered why Iolaus was giving him the fish eye. ''Alright,'' he said, plopping down heavily and picking up a wineskin. ''Why don't you catch me up on all the news, and I'll do the same. I've about had it with all these disturbances and misunderstandings, and if somebody doesn't start giving me some straight answers...'' The threat went unuttered, but not unheeded.

Hercules felt that if his eyes popped one more time, he was going to develop a permanent tick. ''So you mean to tell me that they thought that we...''

Hercules felt as if he'd been struck in the back of the head with a club. ''I wonder if Aphrodite's up to her old tricks again.''

Iolaus leaned back and sighed, propping his feet up on a convenient log. ''Nope. I'm afraid it's nothing more than a case of ordinary mortals with dirty minds jumping to conclusions.''

The two men stared up at the stars in silence. Then both jumped as a wail came floating out of the forest.

''Gabrielle! I'm doing it as fast as I can! Any faster, and you'll catch fire from the friction!''

''Friction, schmiction. What are you, a warrior or a wimp? Do it faster, Xena. NOW!'' The bard's roar spiraled up into the quiet night.

Hercules and Iolaus grinned at one another. Looked like Gabrielle, champion yodeler, was getting that itch scratched again. Or maybe it was another pesky Trojan horse...

Glad there would be no more misunderstandings that night, Hercules closed his eyes and drifted off to sleep.

''Okay, ladies, pay up. That's fifty dinars apiece, thank you very much.'' She snapped her fingers. ''C'mon, we haven't got eternity, here.''

''How'd you do it, Atropos?,'' the youngest Fate asked. ''How'd you weave so many misunderstandings into a single night? AND get Xena and Gabrielle together? And keep Iolaus and Hercules from knowing about it? Lachesis and I never thought you'd be up to the challenge.''

With that parting shot, she walked away from her astonished sisters. Gotta remember to sent that Amazon bard a thank you card, she thought as she sat back down to her weaving. She shook her head. That Spearshaker is something else...

Aphrodite was heard to mutter to herself as she gulped another goblet of nectar, ''Way to go, Atro! Gotta remember to send that bitchin' Fate a thank you card! Yowza!''

Content of this story copyrighted material owned by Nene Adams and Corrie Kuipers.
Reproduction or any other usage is strictly forbidden unless negotiated with us.
© Corrieweb 1997- 2004