(Homepage: XGManiacs)
Disclaimers : The two main characters might, quite possibly, almost certainly, come close to resembling a couple of well loved sexy heroines in a vintage TV show...but it's not them, so suck on them apples! Copyright infringement not permitted. I mean, who does?
Sex/Violence/Language : Yep. Uh-huh. Oh yeah. One of them takes it too far with the handle of a hammer so be warned. If two loving women showing their love for each other in a physical manner icks you, don't call the cops, just back away slowly. It'll be like you were never even here, trust me.
If you wanna tell us how great our story was or if it put you in dreamland, feel free at XG_Maniacs@live.ca. Enjoy yourselves now.
Randy
Life is good. Taking a walk, the weather is absolutely gorgeous, got my hands shoved into my 500 dollar leather jacket, and I can't help but whistle an unfamiliar happy tune as I stroll by. Yes, I'm a murderer (for good reasons, most of the time), yes I can get caught at any second, and yes I can get a bullet in my head before I even have time to blink. But I make great money, I'm the leader of my gang (second in command to Alice "The Executioner" Cooper, of course. Sweet name, devastating with a gun), and I have to say, I'm pretty damn good at what I do. Right now I have an assignment to complete and I'm going to get it now. The boss says it's the most dangerous one so far and with the life I live, that's saying something. She says I have to work with someone just as good to help make this job happen. As long as they know to get the hell outta my way and do their job, I have no objections. I hear a noise and look up from kicking pebbles with my $150 boots to see a very, very attractive woman riding towards me on her bike. It's obvious that she's losing control and I have no time to react as she squeezes the handlebars hard and goes sailing over the bike towards me. My eyes go huge behind my Viton sunglasses as I can do nothing but open my arms and wait for the pain this impact is going to cause for both of us.
Andrea
I decided to take a ride on my bike, after learning that I had to have a stupid partner. Sometimes I wish I can put Alice in her place but I can't because she's to fucking cute to hurt. And the fact that she practically raised me. So, I decided to cool off by riding my bike instead of blowing people's brains out. 'She has got to be kidding me. Me of all people having to work with...with, whoever. As long as they know to get the hell outta my way I may and that's may not have objections.' I shook my head to clear it. 'Think happy thoughts. Blowing a man's brains out for cheating money out of me.' I smirked, focusing on my path when I laid eyes on a woman who appeared out of nowhere and I lost control of my bike, trying very hard not to hit her as I pushed on the breaks, but the front breaks and sailed through the air. 'Oh my god, oh my god. I'm going to die, I'm going to die. In the arms of a woman I don't even know. Then again she's quite attractive, I wouldn't mind. I'm going to die, I'm going to die. No, I'm stronger than that, I'm the world's (well almost) greatest murderer. I'm going to die, I'm going to die.' I took the impact like a woman 'she's very soft' and we tumbled onto the floor with our arms, legs, and other various parts interlinked.
"Thank you. Your soft body saved my life." I said raising my head and looking into her eyes. 'Oh wow, she hot, hot, hot.' My heart stopped and turned into a flame with many sparks that could burn down forests. Her blue crystal eyes were incredible, they captivate me like no other has.
Randy
Yeah, I was right. That hurt like mother. My back is killing me and I hit my head hard, but I forgot all that when I came face to face with the most beautiful eyes I have ever seen. They're like the green of a misty forest and I'm drawn into them. Can eyes be really that colour, I wonder? I'm pulled out of my reverie when she starts talking.
"Thank you. Your soft body saved my life." she says
I smile wide at the way she says it matter of factly. "No problem." She smiles at me and doesn't make a move. "We should probably get up now." I say, stroking her lower back for emphasis.
"Why? I like my view from up here. My body seems to have a mind of it's own." she blushes about where her hand is positioned on my chest. She quickly pulls away. "Oh my god. I'm so sorry, I never meant to grab you like that, even though it felt very natural to have it there. Okay, I should shut up now before I say something else stupid."
I chuckle. "Don't worry about it. It's not like I was complaining or anything." I say as she gets up and gives me her hand. I take it and let her pull me up.
Her face turned into a cold angry stare. "Are you telling me you took advantage of a woman in need of help? You perverted woman, who do you think you are, checking out my body?"
I wipe the smile completely off my face as I did not see this coming. "I was just--I mean, I didn't think--I thought--." I just stop and look at her. Then I feel my anger start bubbling up. "Excuse me, but you started this little game! 'Your soft body saved my life' what the hell was that?"
She gives me a puppy dog look with tears in her eyes. "I'm--I'm sorry." tears start to fall down her cheeks and she started to sob. "I was just speechless when I landed on your beautiful body. I never meant anything by it."
My anger just seems to bubble over and disappears as tears start rolling down her beautiful face. "Oh god, don't cry. I didn't mean to snap at you. I'm just, really confused right now." I put my hand on her shoulder in a soothing manner.
Automatically her tears stop and she smiles her gold medal smile. "I'm okay. Just had to let out my frustration on someone." she picked up her bike from the cold ground and got on. "It was nice meeting you. Hope to see you again."
I stand there shell shocked with a ridiculously priceless expression on my face as she rides away. "What the, fuck, was that?" I mutter as I turn to walk the other way. I shove my hands back in my pockets as I am struck dumb by what I just experienced. "Not even a name. What a lunatic."
Andrea
As I rode away I was laughing my head off at the same time trying to not hit anyone. "I'm damn good. I still got it in me."
I walked into my house and my cell phone rang. "How the hell do you do that?"
"Well hello to you too."
"Cut the crap Alice. What do you want? Haven't you already gave me bad news today?"
"You shouldn't consider her bad news. She's as interesting and talented as you are."
"Alice, you know damn well I work alone so I don't want no partner, but do I get a say in it, no."
"Andrea?"
"What?"
"Shut up." I closed my mouth and listened to what Alice was going to say to me this time. "Get your ass down here, it's time you meet your future partner. Oh and don't cuss behind my back." she hung up the phone and I was dumb struck.
"Damn, that woman knows me well." I quickly took a shower and changed before I made my way into my car and drove to Alice's place. That woman knows how to work out a hideout. The only ones who get to see her place are the ones she trusted the most.
I made my way into her garage and put digits into her computer which opened a scan to scan my eye. Once it was approved the floor beneath my car started to make it's way down to the bottom, opening doors.
I got out of my car and headed toward the huge metallic doors on the far side. I did the secret knock. *tap* *tap* *tap* ---wait 5 seconds --- *tap* *tap* I hear a click on the other side and the doors swing open to reveal Alice's second in command.
"Bruce." I said with an acknowledging nod. He smiles at me to reveal gold encrusted teeth.
"Andrea! Couldn't resist me huh?"
I smiled. "Oh, Brucy boy. I've told you, I am so outta your league! Plus, you're not my type, if you know what I mean." I turn my head to wink at him as he closes the doors and accompanies me to Alice. I hear a low chuckle and look up to see Executioner walking towards us.
"Bruce. I see you haven't stopped bothering one of my top leaders, huh? Can't take a hint buddy, as obvious as it's being." Alice walks up to me, puts her arm around my shoulder and leads me forward. I smile as I look at my surrounding. It's the secret underground meeting mansion for all of her gangs. It's mostly black colouring with comfy couches and chairs surrounding a huge table in the middle. There guards surrounding the whole room and one lone figure looking at the tapestry on the wall.
"Well, I think we've wasted enough time here. Shall we begin?" says Alice as she tries to get the attention of the tall figure. It turns around to walk back to the table and I don't believe what I'm seeing as my eyes go wide.
"Andrea, this is your new partner for the job, Randy, Andrea, Andrea, Randy." she introduces as she looks between the shocked faces of both of us. "Did I miss something?"
Randy
I got here half an hour ago to meet my new partner and get the details to the job. My patience starts running thin when I hear the doors open. I don't look back in fear I might hurt this bone head for being late. When Alice calls for everyone's attention, I turn and I don't believe my eyes. It's the lunatic from earlier.
"You?" I said
"Well of course it's me, who else would you expect?" she turned to face Alice. "Are you telling me, you're pairing me off with this...with this...I have no words to describe her."
"Alice, you can not seriously think of putting me with this half twat, unstable, lunatic idiot, are you?" I said turning to the boss.
She turns back towards me with anger in her eyes. "Who the hell are you calling a twat, you over grown ape."
"Over grown Ape?" I walk towards her with my fists balled at my sides. "Why you two-faced, air headed, fuck! I will fucking cut you!"
"You fuc---" she was about to say when Alice intervened.
"Shut up before I eliminate the both of you."
"That bitch started it." She shouted poking me in the chest with her index finger.
"Excuse me?! Why you--" I say pushing her hand away. I hear a loud bang and turn to see Alice holding a gun in the air.
"I said, shut the fuck up!" she yells.
I look from one to the other. "Sorry boss." I say as I stare pointedly at her.
She sighs. "Yeah, sorry."
Alice puts the gun back in her pants' waistband and looks at the both of us with a slightly cold look in her hazel eyes.
"Good. Now, everyone park their asses in a chair so we could begin like the grown ups I thought you were." she says as we all sit down.
"I just don't see why I have to team up with her, is all." I grumble.
"It's no picnic for me either, buddy!" Andrea yells.
"Oh for the love of God! You two are the best my top two gangs have to offer, okay? So, you're gonna fucking team up and do as I fucking say cause I fucking said so, ya got that?" Alice screams as she bangs her fists on the table and gives us all a directed look.
"Yes boss." we say in unison.
"Good!" she says as she tries to calm down. "Now, here's your job. My biggest rival gang is getting on my last nerve."
"The Black Panthers?" I ask
"The douche bags that killed Tasha?" Andrea adds
"The one and only." Alice says with a sad glint in her eyes but only for a moment before they turn cold. "I want them all dead but bring the leader to me. Beat him up, rape him, call him names, I don't care. I just want him alive, understand?"
We look at each other and smirk a bit before looking back at Alice.
"That, we can do." we say in unison.
Alice smiles. "Those are my girls. I don't care what or how you do this. Just make it happen." We both nod. "Good. Pass by Bulldog's store for some new weapons. Take whatever you need for your gangs and put it on my tab."
We both stand up to leave but are stopped at the door by Alice's voice.
"Oh and ladies, clean up your messes this time. I'm not your maid." she raises her eyebrows at me.
"Yes, ma'am." I say sheepishly as we exit.
Andrea
As we make our way out of Alice's main quarters, I pull my phone from my pocket. Right when Randy was about to speak up I put my hand up to stop her.
"Yea, I want the weapons to be at my warehouse. You know where that is. Kay, meet you there." I put my hand down and address Randy to proceed.
"What were--" Randy puts up her hand to stop me and pulls out her phone.
"Spyder, meet me at..." Randy looks over at me and I tell her my address. "5236 bluer st. aka Kill 'em all." Randy rolls her eyes at that. She shuts her phone and turns to look at me. "As you were saying before you were rudely interrupted."
"You're full of it Randy, you know that, you're full of it." We walk up to my car and get in. I turn on the engine and drive out of Alice's quarters heading to my warehouse.
"I've been told I'm full of love, hate, and ruthlessness. Take your pick, what's the it?" she says with a smirk.
"The it would be full of shit, one that you did not add to your list." I say taking a little glimpse from the side at her.
"Aaah, I see. Well, would you like to explore the ones I did mention? I've been told my lovin is top priority, mmh?" she says as she turns to wiggle her eyebrows at me.
"You wish. I wouldn't do it if you were the last person on the planet." I look her up and down. "I'll admit you're sexy as hell but I wouldn't go for someone so easy."
"I am not easy. But I could be, it you ask real nice." she says with a sexy smirk, as she runs her fingers lightly up my thigh.
"You idiot take your hand off me. You're freaking distracting me." I said trying to pull my thigh away.
She removes her hand and chuckles. "Distracting, eh? I've been told I have that quality to turn heads anywhere I go. I'm so hot, the sun is jealous."
I stop the car in front of my warehouse and turn my body towards her. I place my hand on her thigh and travel it up under her white shirt. "Now tell me I am not distracting." I lean over and gently place my lips on her neck and with the barest of contacts, I travel up to her ear. "Am I distracting you Randy?" I whisper into her ear. My hand starts fondling her tight abs.
"N-no. We, um...we gotta go...go ins...inside, now...oh shit." Her breathing is uneven as she tries not to react to my touches. My hand moves up to just the underside of her breast and she almost comes right there. "Okay, th-that's enough." she says as she pushes me weakly but gently with my shoulders away from her. "Maybe later when we don't have to kill anybody, mmh? I can go all night long..." she says in a breathless whisper as she reaches for the door.
I laugh and get out of the car. "Didn't I tell you ,you are way to easy for me. You play rough with me baby and you'll get burned." I lick my finger and place it on my ass. "pssssszzz."
She steps out of the car and closes it as she walks around the car to walk beside me. "Rough? Me likey rough." she says as we walk into the warehouse. She looks around as she steps in behind me and closes the door. "The Green Serpents layer. Not bad, mine's better, but not bad."
I made my way into the warehouse and she followed from behind. "I'm not into arguing about who's layer and name is better because I am more mature than that. If you want to play childish games, be my guest but don't include me in them."
Randy
"Oooh, touchy are we?" I say in an annoyingly sweet sing song voice. We enter the main chambers to her warehouse and both gangs are already there. "Spyder, everyone here?" I say as I walk towards a buff, ruggedly handsome man on the left side of the huge table.
"Yes, boss. However, this gorgeous piece of ass seems to be playing hard to get. "Spyder says as he reaches across the table to touch the blond on the right side of the table. She slaps his hand away and we both chuckle.
"Yeah, well, the women of the serpents seem to play that kind of game very well." I say as I give Andrea a lecherous look.
Andrea has flames coming out of her eyes, you can see the blaze that engulfed her whole face. In the blink of an eye she was on my commander. You can barely see her foot move to make contact with Spyder's stomach. He bent over grasping his stomach. Andrea grabbed his collar and pushed him up straight. If she wanted to she could have picked him up off his feet. She got in his face so the only thing he saw was her face. "If you ever lay a hand on her without her consent, I'll personally put a bullet through your head, but before I do that I'll make you suffer, you'll be begging for me to kill you, understand?" she sneered. "Catcall, tell your men to stay away from the women who work for me, unless they give permission to do whatever. Be warned that if anyone hurts Kal, including you, I won't hold back on killing every single one of you."
"Alright, alright, I was just kidding." Spyder croaks. Andrea sneers at him and unceremoniously pushes him towards me. I catch him to help keep his balance and swatted him across the back of the head. "You idiot." I whisper. He rubs his head and just shrugs with a chuckle.
"She's hot." he says
"This is true." I say as I eye Kal. I notice Andrea eye ballig me form the corner of my eye so I look away. "Anyway, I think we should get to work. Bulldog, weapons?" nod. "Good. Okay, how you want to do this? An all out attack or one by one?" I say looking at Andrea. I motion for everyone to sit.
"Well, one by one would take too long and Alice only gave us three days. Now, if we do a full out attack, we have a two to one advantage. They're huge but together we're unstoppably dangerous. Both our groups have both strength and speed. We're gonna use that to sneak in." she says
"Right. So, we divide ourselves in half. One in the front, the other hits the back to close them in."
"Take down any guard you see. We don't need witnesses." adds Kal
"Agreed. They'll be in bed by sundown tomorrow. It's church night." sneers Spyder
"Exactly. We'll meet in the middle. I don't want to see anyone breathing unless you're part of our group or their leader, understood?" says Andrea
"Agreed." everyone says in unison.
"Oh and one more thing." she looks at each and every single important people. "Use silent guns."
"Of course. Another thing, Joker!" I call. A lanky, brown haired fellow comes running towards me outta nowhere. He trips on his own feet and into my arms so I steady him. "Oh, for the love of God. You're with us." I say pointing to Andrea and I.
He blushes. "Yes boss."
"Alright. Everyone good?" Andrea asks looking around
"Yes." we say
"Good." she stands up. "we meet a few blocks from the panthers warehouse. Black clothes. Bulldog and Spyder bring the weapons. Twelve midnight on the dot. We attack at ten after. No mess ups, no lates, and no stupidity." she looks pointedly at Joker and he shrinks back in his chair. "Good."
"Until tomorrow then. All of you, get out." I say. Everyone gets up and starts mumbling as they file out. Only Andrea and I are left. "That went well..." I say as we sit down.
She looks at me with a smirk on her face. "Are you trying to hit in me by sending our gang away so it's only you and I?" she says moving her hand back and forth in front of her, while taking a seat in front of me.
"I don't know what you're talking about." I say. I get up, brush invisible flint off my faded blue jeans and turn towards the door. "I'm going to bed. I use your room, you use the floor? We could share but I am too good for you after all. Later." I say over my shoulder as I walk out towards the other room.
She quickly makes her way in front of me stopping me from advancing. "You can have this dump. It's created personally for you. My rooms upstairs, so I'll see you tomorrow morning." She says as she turns around and walks away. "You can have any room from this dump."
I stare after her with an eyebrow quirked up high. "So you agree this place is a first class shit hole?" I say as I shrug. "Good for you, taking the first step like a man." I chuckle at the angry look on her face and close the door. "Night, Sane." I call. I hear stomping as she heads up the stairs.
"Bite me Catcall!" she yells from afar.
"If you keep insisting, I just might." I mutter to myself with a smirk.
Andrea
"Does everybody have their weapons?" Randy's gang nods along with mine. I take out my desert eagle and screw on the silencer and pull back the slider on the gun. "Ready, Catcall?"
"I was born ready. Spyder, Kal, take half and head towards the back. Joker and everyone else, come with me and Sane." she says as she pulls out her silencer and cocks it. "Let's do this. For Alice!"
"For Alice." everybody whispers as Spyder and Kal take their half and disappear to the back.
"Let's move." I say as I start leading and Randy follows.
We make our way through the huge warehouse coming into the corridors that split up into two. "You half take that side." I say pointing to my left. "Go up to the top floor and to your right there will be a door that the cameras are located. There will be four guards and you need to take them out quietly without alerting anyone. You and you are with us." I say pointing to the man who was known as Joker and one of my men.
We moved quickly and swiftly through the dark hallway only illuminated by the moon that flashed through the windows. When we came to a dark door, we all stop, poised against the sides of the door.
"Okay." Randy whispers. "You two stay here and guard the door. Andrea, let's move."
We slip inside stealthily into the dark room. It seems every Panther is in there and if not, Spyder and Kal have that covered. I hear Randy cock her gun and I do the same. I put a bullet through the first human at my feet and we make our way through. Blood splashing under our shoes, we make our way to the front of the room. I put my gun to the temple of Acid's head, the gang leader, and nod at Randy. She places a solid boot to his stomach and he bolts upright wheezing from the loss of air and clutching his stomach. He finally raises his hands in surrender. A woman sleeping next to him screams, shoots up, and bolts for the door.
"Son of a bitch!" Randy yells.
"Conroy, get her!" I yell.
Conroy spreads his arms in the door way to block her. She bumps into him so he grabs her, puts his left hand over her mouth, places his silencer under her chin, cocks it and pulls the trigger, twice. Her eyes go wide as she stares off into oblivion and slides to the floor with a soft thud. Conroy looks up and salutes before slinking back outside.
"Too close." Randy murmurs as we turn back to Acid, who's staring wide eyed at the woman's body.
"No shit. Okay dip stick, get up." I say as I pull him up in front of me.
"I-she-why?" he stammers.
"Oh, I'm sorry. Was that your fuck buddy?" Randy mock pouts at him.
I chuckle. "Probably was. Now you know what it feels like to lose a loved one."
He looks at us, clearly confused. "Alice asked us to pass on this message." Randy says.
"Alice? That bitch still has a grudge after all these years? What message?" he sneers.
"This one." Randy says as she connects with his stomach. He doubles over and she raises her right knee to his face as he falls backwards. She puts her gun back in her waistband and picks him up. "Your turn." she says with a smirk as she turns him towards me.
"Oh this is going to be sweet." I say as I crack my fingers, preparing to relive stress. "Randy, would you hold him up with his hands behind his back?" When Randy got him in a lock hold I moved into view. "Ready?"
"No." Acid answered.
"Wasn't asking you." I jabbed my right fist into his stomach then my left until my punches got faster and harder.
"Okay, okay! That's enough!" Randy yells so I stop, panting.
"Tha-thank you." he wheezes.
"Oh, she's not done yet, are you Sane?" Randy says so I shake my head. "Go find a toolbox or something. I'm in a piñata smacking mood." I smirk and go looking.
"Wha?!" he chokes
"We're just getting started." I hear her sneer. I come back a couple minutes later to find her serving punches to his face left and right.
"You." right. "Are." left. "Such." right. "An asshole!" left, right. She stops as he slumps to the floor. She sees me coming towards them with a pair of tools in my hand and maniacal look in her eyes.
"Hold him up." I say. Randy smirks as she complies and he groans.
"I love the way you think." she says.
I put the tool box down and open it to see what it contains. I pull out a screw driver and some drills, attaching the drills to the screw driver I spin it. "Oh, this is going to be exciting." I grin from ear to ear but my smile does not reach my eyes. "If any of your blood gets on my new clothes, I'll pull your teeth out." I apply the drill on his right shoulder, making him scream out in pain. He thrust backward to avoid the drill and blood squirted onto me. I pulled back the screw driver and walked over to the tool box pulling out a pliers.
"Please." he looked at the tool in my hand in feat. "Please, don't do this."
"Did I not tell you that I would pull your teeth out if any blood got onto me?"
Randy holds his head and keeps his mouth open. I attach the pliers onto one of his teeth and yank hard. He cried out until the teeth came out from it's socket.
"Would you look at that!" I show it to Randy. "I just pulled out a healthy tooth."
"A lot of yellow toothed people could use that." she says on mock seriousness.
"Tell me about it. Oh, well." I say as I chuck it to the ground.
"Hand me that hammer, would you?" she asks as she drops him on his face with a thud. I pick up the object and give it o her. She has this evil gleam in her eye as she looks from the hammer to acid.
"What are you thinking about?" I ask suspiciously.
She looks up and smiles, one that doesn't reach her eyes. "You don't wanna know, but you'll see." she says as she places the hammer aside, grabs the pyjama pants of the near unconscious man, and yanks them around his ankles. She picks up the hammer, turns it to the wooden side, and places it just outside of his rear entrance. She looks up at me as I stare at her wide eyed when I realize what she has in mind.
"You wouldn't..." I stutter.
She smiles coldly. "Watch me. I suggest you turn around if you're squeamish." she says. She grips the head of the hammer and pushes with all the strength the good Lord gave her. I squeal and turn the other way as the poor man screams in agonizing pain. I look up as I hear our two look outs rushing in.
"What happened?!" the both squeak out when they spot the half naked man with a hammer and blood pouring out where the sun don't shine.
"Pick him up and take him to the car. Don't even bother tying him up. The poor fellow won't wake up for a long time." Randy says calmly. They grab his arms and legs and head out.
"I think we're done here." Randy says as she starts for the door that leads to the cars.
"What the fuck, Randy?!" I yell as I fall into step beside her.
"What?" she asks without looking at me.
"That was, that was... It was..." I say trying to find the right word.
"Ruthless, cold, unnecessary, heartless?" she supplies.
"Amazing!" I say in awe. "I would have never thought of that."
"Yeah, well, he had to be unconscious when we take him back and my hands were getting sour. Plus, it was original. I like to be creative in a torture, it gets my juices flowing." she says with a smirk. I chuckle as we near the car where everyone is there waiting.
"How'd it go?" I ask Kal.
"Like taking candy from ten, stanky babies." she says with a cocky smirk.
"Easy, lemon squeezy." Spyder adds.
"Great work ladies and scum bags." Randy says as she pulls something out of the truck. She hands it to me.
"Would you like to do the honours?" she asks me as she smiles. I smile back.
"It would be my pleasure." I say as I turn toward the building and press the button on the device. It's safe to say that everything went, ka-boom.
"What the-- " some exclaim.
"How--what--when?" Spyder stutters as he turns to me. I smile at him and look at Randy then back at our peeps.
"We have many skills." we say in unison as the group starts chanting our names.
"Lets get outta here." I say as everyone files back in the cars.
We walk into Alice's main quarters with Acid being dragged in from behind us. "Hey Alice, we got your package for you." I cringe in disgust. "He reeks." My men throw his unconscious body in front of Alice.
Alice smirks. "I knew I put the right people on the job when I chose you two." After ordering her men to take Acid away Alice got a serious expression. "I have another job for you two. I know you just got back from a mission and you need the time to rest, but this can't wait." Alice walks behind her desk and pulls out a remote.
....to be continued