By Trisha Von Doss
AKA Xenamour
Copyright 04/00
Standard Disclaimers -
These characters are owned lock stock and barrel by The Powers That Be at Renaissance Pictures, Universal MCA, and their various and sundry associates and affiliates. No infringement on the copyright holders of these characters is in any way intended. My sole wish is to share, through my humble efforts, my hopes, dreams, and fantasies for the Incredible Beings so lovingly created by the staff of Gifted Individuals at Renaissance Pictures. Thank you, PTB, for the loan.
Subtext - This is surely one of the greatest love stories of all time. It is my own personal belief that the emotional integrity of that love should be maintained at all costs, no matter how one views the physical aspect or lack thereof in this relationship. So if you have something against love... this is not the story for you.
Emotional Content-
Well I should blessed HOPE so.
Postive feedback and constructive criticism always welcome. Email me at Xenamour@cs.com
The Last Ever Episode of Xena Warrior Princess: Final Scene
Blades of newly born grass caressed by the gentle spring breeze, wave as if in greeting to the world. The winter sun giving over its watch to its warmer brother hangs a few candlemarks longer in the late afternoon sky. Newly returning song birds, as if sensing the coming twighlight hour..slow thier fervently chirped glee over the earths rebirth to an occassional warble.
On a grassy knoll, underneath the shade of a budding old growth oak, two women stand in silence...remembering another time in this very place...when a young and impertenent woman-child offered herself to slavers to save her sister and friends...and a lone warrior appeared, as if from legend, to fight the slavers off and save them all.
The taller of the two, a sleekly muscled woman with raven hair and intense blue eyes chews idly on the corner of her lower lip and stares intently into the distance..the only outward sign of her knotted stomach. Her companion, a petite and compactly built blonde leans with her back against the old oak, her head turned in the direction of her friends gaze, her arms folded as if in protection, over her heart. Her green eyes reflect a profound sadness. Unable to stand the silence any longer...knowing that here...in the world of words... It is she who must be brave... The blonde begins to speak...
"Xena... How long has it been... Not counting the Void I mean.. Six years? Gods! Six years and a lifetime ago. So much has changed. I was just a little girl... I still think of that sometimes and wonder why you ever let me come with you... And how my life would have been if you hadn't."
Silence
Slowly...in a low and stilted tone reflecting the painful fear behind the words...
"Gabrielle... I... Do you ever regret it? I mean... I accpeted that it was what you wanted...and that it was your decision... A long time ago. But there are still times..." Narrowed blue eyes glance briefly into those of her friend and then down...finding another more comfortable focus for her attention.
Unable to stand the emotional or physical distance any longer, the blonde reaches out her hands and entwines them with those of the raven haired woman, pulling her a step closer.
"Xena... Xena look at me..." Green eyes lower to meet blue as a gentle hand raises a reticent chin, "You and I have talked about this before... You know how I feel...how I have always felt. Yes...there have been times along the way when I questioned the road I traveled with you...times when I doubted... myself more so than you or our bond. I guess... I guess it's part of growing up...we have to ask those questions or we follow blindly and never have faith in our own journey."
"But you know as well as I do what the answer to those questions has always been in the end... Yes. Yes this is right for me... Yes this is where I belong... Yes... You... This ... Us... Is my Home. When it came right down to it...there was never any other choice for me...all my heart wanted was You. That is why I can't understand this...why now after everything we've been through together...all we've meant to each other, you choose to leave me."
Unbidden tears begin to fall from blue eyes and green alike. Unable to stand the thought that she is again causing this woman, her heart, more pain, Xena closes the remaining distance between them and pulls Gabrielle into a gentle but urgent embrace.
"Xena...talk to me...please...help me understand this...why? What could I have done, after everything we have endured, that could be so horrible that you would leave me now?"
As if reeling from a landed blow, blue eyes close tightly and the darker woman momentarily falters to maintain her upright stance.
"No...no... Gabrielle...shhhh...shhhh... Don't cry... Please don't cry... You didn't do anything wrong...it's me... It's always been me...don't you understand that...after all this time...don't you know...you are my source...my heart..."
Voiced agony incarnate... "Then WHY?" Tears flow unchecked as small fists pound thier frustration against the body in front of them... "Why Xena... Why Why WHY?????
Larger hands reach smaller ones and stop them in mid flight. Lacking words to express her need and her love and her pain... The Warrior leans forward, pressing the smaller woman back against the tree and lowers her head to press her lips, first gently, then ever more urgently to those of her beloved.
Quieted but unsatisfied the blonde continues her quest for the truth...
"Why Xena....tell me why."
Red rimmed and swollen at their effort in denying futher tears, blue eyes finally... Openly... Meet green. It has always been this way hasn't it. You have never allowed me my attempts at solitary exile...my punishment. Every time I try you refuse me, pull me back from that abyss as if it would be your own.
"Gabrielle... I...I know you have wanted to be with me... I know it is what you have chosen. Gods...so many nights I fought myself to turn you away...send you home... Leave you somewhere remotely safe. In the end it was my selfishness that kept me from doing it."
" I... I needed you... I needed your light...your balance...your love. I couldn't see anything but darkness in myself...but you...you saw something else...something I couldn't. I needed to be able to look in your eyes and see that other person...an image I could try to live up to and maybe somehow become in the processs."
Unable to interupt her soul mates willing expression of her inner demons, Gabrielle instead encouraged her... gently caressing Xena's hands in her own.
"But now...now I realize how selfish I have been for so long...and I realize that if you are ever going to have a chance at another life... I mean, neither of us is getting any younger...and if you want to have children... Other children I mean... I can't give that to you... This life can't give that to you. There have been times along the way you have asked me to think about settling down... So don't tell me it isn't what you want... Because I know there have been times at least when it has been. I just want you to have that opportunity".
A long pause.
Green eyes intently measured blue.
"Xena...do you want to leave me?"
"Gabrielle this isn't about what I want!"
"Xena answer the question... Do you want to leave me?"
Silence.
"Well if you won't talk about what you want... Then let's talk about what I want."
"It's true there have been times when I wanted to settle down...like with Perdicus...when I was running from the truth about what I wanted from you...or with Eve...because I wanted her to be safe and because the idea of living a life where I was sure the two people I loved most in the world would be safe was an attractive one."
"But given the choice... and I was given the choice Xena, more than once... I would always choose to be with you...anywhere...than to be without you. And that is not your choice to make...do you understand that. Actually it never has been...even from the beginning...when I was just than persistently obnoxious kid who refused to take no for an answer. And Xena... That is what I am doing now too...I won't let you leave me."
Stiffening her upright stance and her resolve, the taller darker woman turns away. Her eyes cold and hard...refusing reproach...forcing the desire to scream her surrender once again down inside... She takes purposed steps away from the smaller woman...whose searching eyes in near panick struggle to find the words that will make her stop...make her stay...
"Xena... You can't just leave me here. I came all this way just to be with you. I'm not cut out for this village life... I was born to do so much more. I have studied the stars, spoken with philosophers, I have the gift of prophecy... I could be very valuable to you... You've got to take me with you...teach me everything you know..."
Heavy feet still there movement. Erect shoulders slump forward ever so slightly...
A long silence... green eyes stare intently at the barely discernable change in stance of the now idle figure...willing it to mean what she needs it to... surrender...
"You know where I'm headed there'll be trouble."
"I know"
"Then why do you want to go into that with me?"
"That's what friends do, they stand by each other when there's trouble."
Blue eyes...tears overflowing...turn to meet green.
"C'mere friend."
Arm in arm the two figures walk into the twighlight, stopping on a distant hill they turn one towards the other, silouhetted against the setting sun. Cupping the smaller face in her hands, the taller figure gently pulls her soul mates lips toward her own, meeting them in a gentle but lasting kiss.
Fade to black.