The Flawless Lucy Lawless

Words are less than adequate

for no known adjectives quite fit,

Descriptions lacking quite a bit

for flawless Lucy Lawless.

Who could bring us all to tears

both give us and dismiss our fears?

And still be said to hold her beer

like flawless Lucy Lawless.

Who could ululate and yell

wear her hair with lice so well,

Chafe and scab and still look swell?

'cept flawless Lucy Lawless.

Xena wouldn't exist at all

if not for Lucy's iron b-lls,

Who else could take that kind of fall

but flawless Lucy Lawless?

No eyes of deeper blue exist

a look that kills preceeding fist,

And chakrum, sword, or snapping whip

of flawless Lucy Lawless.

Who else can wear accessories

that bring a villain to his knees,

And still look sexy as can be

but flawless Lucy Lawless

She has no need of fishing poles

the Fish audition for the show,

(They're all just dying for the role)

with flawless Lucy Lawless

She's got an IQ MENSA ranks

and Class that rivals heads of State,

Yet mingles with we retrobates

our flawless Lucy Lawless

How can I in words alone

say what only hearts have known,

So far beyond the status quo

is flawless Lucy Lawless.

I hope you understand me now

she's our favorite Kiwi gal,

(Tho she prefers lamb shank to cow)

the flawless Lucy Lawless.

No one we know can take her place

we'd sooner kill than let 'em Mate,

We'll love her 'till our dying days

our Flawless Lucy Lawless.