Disclaimer: Sexual content, drugs, and rock n roll. Okay, the sexual content is on the really, really light side. Also the main characters are of the lesbian variety, if that is not to your liking move on, cause it’s to my liking.
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She was on the box, high above the mass of people. She felt like they were all dancing for her pleasure. The lights pulsed with the music and the bass thumped, vibrating through her body; at odd moments in the music she could have swore it made her heart stagger in its never ending race to pump blood to each cell in her body.
Lost in the shadows that surrounded the dance floor, she knew her friends sat somewhere not far away – sipping their drinks, flirting, gossiping, staring at her, and trying to understand her radical change in personality.
There was no secret; she was higher than a kite. She frowned. ‘Higher than a kite’ – what a cliché. She would need to come up with something else; she despised clichés. She could use ‘higher than a mountain trekker on their way to the top of Everest’. She giggled a little bit at that one; it was much better than the kite expression.
How had she gotten this way? That was easy - peer pressure. She had gotten tired of being the butt of jokes and repeatedly being told to loosen up. Tired of being told to smile, exhausted at being told she could be having a great time if she would only loosen up break down the walls she had built up so high around her. Often times she knew they described her with words like ‘killjoy’ and ‘stick in the mud’. It hurt her feelings, not that she would admit to it. Did she respond in kind to her friends by calling them: sluts, space cadets, or attention whores? No, she didn’t. Why? Because they were just people full of humanity’s failings. They weren’t single handedly bringing about the downfall of the civilized world by the way they acted, but they were hurting her with each snide remark about her behavior. After years of hanging out with them, her insides were a mass of scars from their off-handed remarks.
When she would bitch about it, her roommate would laugh and tell her it was her own passive-aggressive fault; and if she would just tell everybody how their comments hurt then they would stop. However, true to her passive-aggressive nature, she never said anything about it.
Last weekend everything changed. She came home from a night at the club watching the her friends’ never-ending cycle of dancing, flirting, falling in love on the dance floor, and then starting all over again until the clock struck last call. It somehow struck a nerve, especially after Carla had tried to drag her on to the dance floor yet again.
"Come on," the woman whispered, her voice dripping with sexual innuendo. "I promise you a good time."
All Carla wanted was to get into her pants. She refused yet again, and Carla called her a frigid bitch.
At that moment all her internal scars opened, weeping metaphorical blood into her psyche. She did the only thing she could do - she left, going home to bitch at her roommate.
He grunted at her words to show that he was listening as his eyes darted from the Internet porn being graphically displayed on his computer screen to her whining mouth.
"I’m tired of being a bitch ‘cause I won’t play by their rules," she ranted. "I’m very capable of having a good time."
"Then next week get on the box and start grinding on the first hot thing that comes by," he said with a roll of his blue eyes.
Her face had flushed with embarrassment. "I couldn’t… well… I mean it sounds good in theory."
"Look, Greg has a friend who can get some good shit. I promise, one little green pill and you won’t give a shit if you’re streaking downtown in your birthday suit. This shit will have you checking all your inhibitions at the door with your coat with this shit."
Two questions had come to mind. "Who’s Greg? And are we talking about drugs here? You know how I feel about drugs."
"Blah, blah." He waved a hand dismissively at her. "Greg is my new boyfriend."
It was her turn to roll her eyes; he had a new one each month. Greg was apparently Mr. July.
"And yeah, we’re talking about drugs. Nothing over the counter is going to get you to relax so we need to bring out the heavy stuff."
"I think I’m offended."
"Emily, I love you dearly; you’re like the brother I never had. But it won’t kill you to relax your guard just once; not everyone is like that bitch ex of yours."
"Hey, she really hurt me."
He sighed. "Emily, honey, we have all had our hearts torn out and tossed in the garbage. You have turned your experience into a religious crusade."
She gave him the evil eye. "We can’t all be gay men flitting from boy toy to boy toy."
"Who’s being nasty now?" he said with a raised eyebrow until she looked properly abashed. "Leave me now, and next weekend we’ll unleash the new you. The girls won’t know what hit them.
Saturday night had finally rolled around and Emily found herself staring at a little green pill with a crown etched into the surface. "What is it?"
"It’s X. Just swallow it and be sure to drink plenty of orange juice."
"My vitamin C intake is fine, thank you."
"Who is the expert drug taker in this house?"
"You?"
"Correct. So just do as I say."
She nodded and took the pill with a healthy swallow of OJ. She waited a moment. "I don’t feel any different."
"The effects are not immediate; it will take awhile to get into your system."
"Oh, okay."
"Come on, I’ll drop you off at the club."
"Drop me off? I thought… you said you were coming with me." Her voice edged up higher towards panic.
"Don’t worry, I’m just going to drop you off then I’m going to go get Greg. We’ll be back in 20 minutes."
"Promise?"
"Yes, I promise," he said, giving her a hug.
- - - - - -- -- -
As the car pulled up to the curb, a giggle escaped her lips. Both of her eyebrows rose into her dark bangs and she nearly clapped her hands over her mouth. Ian just snorted in amusement next to her.
"Feeling fine, are you?"
"I… I’m not sure. I kind of feel like it’s my birthday, Christmas, and New Year’s all wrapped up inside my body."
"Good. Trust me, that’s normal. Just keep those happy thoughts and you’re going to have a great night."
She made her way inside into the club. The beat pulsed around her like a lover; it tugged on her body, trying to tempt her out onto the dance floor. Her nerves fired happy impulses throughout her body, making her feel giddy. Her mouth stretched into a large smile, revealing white teeth that gleamed brightly under the black lights. The lights flashed around her, leaving tracers in her vision.
Her friends found her, each one having a comment about the smile she sported. For the first time she didn’t care. Her mind was so focused on the physical sensations of the club that she really didn’t pay attention. As the randy bass beat of a "Basement Jaxx" song pumped out through the speakers, she found herself drawn out to the dance floor, her body unable to resist its siren call. Emily didn’t notice the shocked expressions on her friends’ faces.
- - - - - - - - - -
So here she was like a queen surveying her subjects as they danced and grinded together before her.
For the first time in a long time she felt relaxed in her own skin. She laughed, seeing Carla glare darkly at her from the dance floor as she danced on the box with some Hispanic girl. Normally there would have been no way that her hips could have moved to keep up with the other woman’s. However, in her relaxed state, she found it easier to match the rhythm of the other woman’s rapidly swaying hips. Even this messed up, she had no desire to be Carla’s main course for the evening, and what tickled her funny bone was that her lack of interest was pissing Carla off even more. She decided paybacks were fun.
After a song or two the Hispanic girl smiled warmly at her and got off the box. Emily really had no concept of time passing; as long as the music stayed bouncy, it kept her dancing. Alone on the box she twirled and swayed, shaking her groove thing. She wondered at her need to be so in control of her body and emotions. She decided she loved this drug; it made her feel alive and happy. She felt wonderfully out of control and wild, like there was a new side to her waking up. As warm hands traveled from around her back to rest on her stomach, she gave a dangerous feral smile. A body molded into hers from behind and they danced together for a moment before she turned around, coming face to face with a blonde-haired imp of a woman who smiled back at her with a devilish smile of her own. Giving in to her impulses, she did something that she never would have done before. She kissed a stranger.
- - -- - - - -
Ian danced up to the table of women with Greg in tow.
"Hey, girls. What’s up?"
"Emily. That’s what’s up. She’s been taken over by a pod person."
- - -- - - - - - -
The blonde smelled of wild places and a brief image of running through a forest flashed into her mind. The image sent a dark energized thrill through her body. A sexual feeling baked in her southern region as she and the blonde danced. The woman’s hands were everywhere, touching and stroking, making her ache and sweat. Her urges flashed frantic SOS messages to her. Emily wanted to rip away the barrier of clothing that was preventing her from getting to the skin that hid just out of sight. She wanted to sink her teeth into the tan flesh and mark the woman as hers for the evening, to warn all others to stay away. Her fingers wanted to sink in deep and know the woman so intimately that there would be no secrets.
"Come home with me."
The words were whispered hot in her ear, not in a question but almost in the form of a demand. Her nostrils flared and she licked her upper lip. Her mind no longer mattered, just the demands of her physical want, and she nodded, letting the woman draw her down off the box and into the mass of humanity writhing on the floor. Emily didn’t care when three others paced along with them as headed towards the club’s exit.
- - - - -- - -
"My roomy. What has the little one gone and done now?"
"She’s all smiling and happy. She’s even dancing out on the dance floor."
"Really? This I got to see."
"Yeah, she’s right there."
Everyone followed the finger with their eyes only to find no Emily.
"She was right there."
"Who?" asked Tara as she came up to the table with a fresh drink.
"Emily. She was right there on the dance floor."
"Oh, I saw her leaving with some blonde woman when I was at the bar."
"What?" Ian said, his face going pale.
"I know. Who knew the frigid woman was capable of picking someone up?" Carla said with a scowl.
"Not that. She’s not in her right mind. She dropped X earlier; she’s in no shape to make good decisions about going home with women."
They all quickly got up, going to different exits to see if they could stop their impaired friend.
- - - -- - - --
The blonde was nuzzling at her neck, nipping softly at the exposed flesh, causing Emily’s breathing to hitch in her chest. She heard a small growl escape the blonde’s lips, a primal sound that was echoed by the others.
"Emily, wait."
She turned, blinking slowly at Tara. "Hey, Tara. This is… um, what’s your name?"
"Frost. Ginny Frost."
Tara nodded. "It’s nice to meet you," she said with a nervous nod of her head. She snaked out a small hand, grabbing Emily’s elbow and pulling her away from the blonde who was eyeing her with dangerous green eyes. "If you’ll excuse us for a moment."
Emily looked at Tara and then back at Ginny with a confused shrug. "Tara," she whispered, "I’m kind of busy at the moment."
"You’re fucked up and there is no way you should be making any decisions about going home with somebody."
"What do you care? I’m fine," she whispered back harshly then shook off Tara’s hand. She went back to Ginny and her friends, linking her arm with the blonde’s.
Tara followed them outside. "Emily. Emily, stop! This isn’t like you."
Emily stopped. "What? Me being happy and having a good time? Go away. Go back to those fucking harpies and make snide comments about me." Her mouth twisted into savage snarl as she spoke.
Tara ran to catch up; she grabbed at Emily’s arm only to be knocked away by a growling blonde. Startled and scared, she jumped back; slipping, she fell heavily giving a small cry of pain.
Emily turned at the sound. "What the hell is the matter with you?" She shook loose of Ginny and walked over to help Tara up.
Ginny began to circle them; the other three who followed, silently taking up the pattern as well.
Tara grabbed Emily’s hand tightly. "Let’s go back into the bar."
Ginny moved quickly, almost a blur, and shoved Tara away from Emily. "Go away, little girl. Emily has already made it clear she’s through with you." It came out low and her perfect white teeth gave a vicious snap at the end.
Emily’s rage boiled over, and without thought she grabbed the blonde by the throat and slammed her back into the side of a car.
"What the fuck is the matter with you?" Her voice was low and nearly a growl.
"There’s the fire I knew was inside you. You’ve lived your life in a daze, keeping yourself controlled and in a prison of self-submission. Did you ever wonder why? I bet you thought it was to keep people out, to keep them at arm’s length, but you were wrong. It was to keep part of you locked away so it couldn’t get out into the popular culture."
Emily blinked gray eyes and stepped back nervously. "You’re insane."
"No. I’m free. And deep inside I know you want to be free like me. Let it go. Let your beast free."
"Get away from me." She took another step back.
Ginny stepped forward. "You can feel it. It pulls at you."
"Insane," Emily muttered again.
"You belong to me," the blonde whispered before claiming Emily’s lips.
For a moment Emily allowed it, feeling again a churning in her blood and a wild thrill cramping her gut. She pushed Ginny away. "No. You’re wrong. What I’m feeling is just the drugs Ian gave me."
Ginny sighed then nipped hard on the underside of Emily’s jaw, breaking the skin and drawing blood.
Emily roared in pain and thrust Ginny away. "You fucking bit me." Her eyes flashed a dull red before going back to gray.
"You belong to me, Emily. When you get tired of this world, call for me. Then we can run in the forest and let the moon flow into our blood until we are drunk on her power."
With a hand on the broken skin of her jaw, she watched them run away down the street. The image that came to mind was of an alpha wolf and her pack. Unconsciously, she took a step to follow.
"Emily? Are you okay?" Tara’s hand on her arm and her softly spoken question brought her back.
"What? Yeah, I’m… she bit me."
- - - - - -- - - -
Emily stood out on the porch of Carla’s ranch style home. It was their monthly poker night when all the women gathered at Carla’s to play poker and drink beer.
It had been 2 months since her night of drugs, rock-n-roll, and almost having sex. Things had quickly gone back to the way they were and that night was never spoken of. She was once again a ‘killjoy’. Sighing, she fingered the small white scar on her jaw and stared at the moon. It was pregnant and full; she wished it would pop and spill the secrets of the universe onto her skin. Maybe then she would understand what was going on inside her. She’d woken up restless like she didn’t fit inside her skin anymore.
A coughing bark sounded out of the darkness, sort of like the bark of a coyote she’d seen at the zoo once. She wasn’t surprised when a honey-gold wolf stepped out of the shadows and into the false light created by the porch lamp. She stared at green eyes, feeling the pull to shed her skin and run. She shook her head and turned back to the door. As her hand touched the wood, a low whine from the wolf pierced her soul, and she drew her hand away to touch her scar lightly.
Her hands released her belt and unbuttoned her pants; they fell around her ankles like a blue denim pool. Her shoes were next, followed by her shirt. She stood in her underwear, half in the porch light and half in the black darkness. The wolf came to her, rubbing its head on her thigh, and Emily ran her fingers through its fur. Again a thrill rushed through her blood and she knew what it was now. It was freedom.
Emily stepped into the night, dropping her bra and then finally her panties. The wind blew over her skin but it didn’t feel cold; it felt cool and soothing on her heated flesh. Then they began to run. She followed the honey-gold wolf, sensing that the pack wasn’t far away. Her heart unchained itself and the world opened up; she was free.
The world flew under her feet; the wind caressed her fur; and the moon poured her secrets into Emily’s blood.