Beta (and partner in mayhem) Translation: Still not ours, although after a year, they should be. And besides, we treated them much better. They are much happier with us, honest. They followed us home... can we keep'm, huh? Huh?
Thanks: To Phil - who won't let me list her as a co-author and without whom the story wouldn't be anywhere as interesting and it certainly wouldn't be nearly as long. She did all the research which I then twisted to suit my purpose. She also did all the beta reading which required hours and hours of time picking up all the letters I dropped along the way, of which there were many. I have to live up to the PITA DIVA reputation somehow. <g>
Also thanks to Les and SueG for keeping the clock ticking and reminding me that the deadline was LOOMING and for their encouraging words along the way.
And thanks to Steph, who suggested the premise which we managed to take to Pluto and back before returning it to the Academy.
Beta (and partner in mayhem) Translation: Well, dang... there goes my anonymity.
Co-author... uh uh. I think I wrote one line every 100 pages or so (and provided suggestions for a name or two along the way). I admit I did help add a little humor. Be warned there is one line in there (not one of mine either, dang it) that is absolutely 'spew worthy' and no, I'm not telling you where. However, I will tell you that you can get a cheap replacement keyboard at Radio Shack... tell them you know me. I get quantity discounts now.
Beta... yep, I picked up all those dropped letters but she put them back in the right places. And I did voice checks on everyone but one like, fab blonde... D doesn't need like any help channeling that one like, bitchin' character.
Researcher... oh yeah. I have 147 "favorite places" links listed that we used for the story. I admit to sending her off on tangents to work in certain punchlines and character cameos (which I think ended up working out great). She also was kind enough to indulge me and hit some history highlights I thought y'all might enjoy. The overall idea was to try to get this sucker to 602 pages but alas, we fell a little shy of that goal. Okay, so that was MY goal. I say shoot high... why not? It's not like I was writing this thing. <.g.> Anyway, we fell a bit short because....
Special Thanks: To the readers of the Valiant Series - I appreciate your patience and indulgence while I wrote this. Randi and Gwen were glad for the extra honeymoon time. I *have* already started on the next Valiant story and hope to have it out for your reading pleasure posthaste.
Beta (and partner in mayhem) Translation: ... she threatened to tell everyone who has been waiting on the next Valiant story exactly how to get to my house. YIKES!
Author's Note: This monstrosity is directly the result of a phone call that started out with the simple phrase, "I can't write a story about vampires or bacchae... I *am* one!" Now a year, 400 some-odd pages and $3,000 worth of phone calls later, this is the end result of that conversation.
Beta (and partner in mayhem) note: Still a vampire, still not a writer... my job here is complete. Thanks to Steph for the invitation... this was quite a ride. But, don't ask me again... she will beat me senseless. <.bg.> No comments from the peanut gallery are necessary, thank you very much.
Oh, one more thing... please read the story. I would like to know that the $3,000 in phone bills and the fact that I ate a cold dinner at least 3 times a week, due to the timing of said phone calls, was not in vein. HA! Little bacchae joke there.... Okay, very little bacchae joke there. Beta (and partner in mayhem) note #2 (the really, really important one): Thanks D... you gave me my season 7(and 8 and pretty much 9 too). You ROCK!
The Second Pint
or His… ahem… HERstory bites and draws blood
By D
(a.k.a. Bacchae Bunny)
The man built the fire up well, knowing it would need to last him several candlemarks once he started the ritual. He checked the tattered parchment in his hands carefully one last time, nodding in satisfaction as he identified each object lying in a circle around the fire.
Finally, convinced that he had everything he needed, the shaman pulled the buckskin from his body and stepped into the nearby creek for a ritual cleansing. He dipped a finger in the paints he had prepared and gently drew the symbols of the war god on his chest. Stripes on his face, arms and thighs completed the look and he put on a clean breechcloth and began his chanting.
Darkness fell as the ritual continued, bringing with it a rumble of thunder and fierce lightning. The shaman's chanting grew louder and each object around the small circle he danced in began to emit an eerie light. Then without warning, the glow disappeared, the shaman was thrown from the circle and somewhere not too far distant, a bolt of lightning struck, leaving behind a mark... and something that would change everything for some and something for everyone.
Gabrielle felt the rending of her soul as the sun set and Xena slipped away from her. Breathing became problematic as the pain overwhelmed her and she forced herself to focus on each breath she took. So intent was she on maintaining a semblance of control that she didn't detect his presence until the small black pot was snatched from her grasp and its contents were floating in the Fountain of Strength.
Gabrielle sat stunned for long seconds... long enough for Ares to mumble something incomprehensible to her. The war god looked up expectantly, frowning when he realized that this wasn't going strictly according to plan. And that was all he had time to understand because he suddenly found himself with an armful of heartbroken, furious bard.
"ARES!!" Gabrielle screamed as she started pummeling him with her fists. "What in Tartarus are you doing??? That was all I had left of her! Damn you, Ares! Damn you!!" He grabbed at her flailing arms.
"It should have worked," he muttered loud enough for her to hear. "It should have brought her back." Those words simply sparked her ire again and she pushed him away from her, swinging wildly. He was so taken aback by her aggressiveness that Gabrielle actually managed to land a shot or two before Ares grabbed her wrists in one large hand and held on tightly. Only then could he make out her forlorn whisper.
"She chose to leave me. She chose to give up our life together for a lie. And you've taken all I had left of her." He didn't see her draw back her arm, but the impact of her fist on his face was... magnificent. And quite painful, surprisingly. Frighteningly, it reminded of the time he had spent as a mortal and he was not at all anxious to relive that particular experience ever again.
"Look blondie, I only thought to do us both a favor, but I can see you'd never be able to appreciate it. It's a long trip back to Greece. Maybe you'll be able to show a little respect by the time you get home and we can talk about this rationally. Until then, see ya."
He disappeared in a glow of blue light and Gabrielle took a last swing at the air where he had been standing. "ARES!!" she screamed again, but he was gone. She dropped to the ground until her hand fell on the small pot. Then she scrambled to her feet and began to feverishly scoop the ashes from the pool of water.
"As angry as I am with you right now, Xena, you have to know I never meant for something like this to happen. I promised to take you home and I meant that. I've tried not to make promises to you I didn't intend to keep. Too bad you can't say the same." She was quiet then for a few minutes as she concentrated on gathering every single bit of ash she could collect from the fountain with only the light of the full moon to guide her efforts.
When she was satisfied she had done the very best she could, she straightened with a groan and lidded the pot. She looked around for her gear and, with a sigh, she wrapped the pot closed carefully so none of the ashes would spill and placed Xena's remains in the bottom of her bag. Then she began her descent off the mountain in the darkness.
Gabrielle didn't go very far. She mostly wanted to get away from the spot where she'd lost Xena. Even the thought of that hurt and she focused on controlling her breathing, absently thankful for the time they'd spent together meditating. She noted a small outcropping and made her way over to it, setting her bag down and shaking out her blanket before lying down and closing her eyes. Sheer physical exhaustion took over and she went to sleep with Ares voice haunting her dreams... It should have brought her back.
A lone tear escaped her closed lid, even as she slept on.
With daylight, Gabrielle arose and took up her burdens once more. She slowly and steadily made her way down Mt. Fuji, until she reached Higuchi. It was just lunchtime when she arrived and she was approached by a merchant who bowed to her before offering her a bowl of rice. She tried politely to decline, then realized her refusal would offend the man and accepted his gift with a nod when he rebuffed her payment.
She slowly became aware that everyone in the village was bowing as she passed, regarding her with a mixture of fear, awe and sympathy. It made her want to break down into tears. Instead, she bit her lip and searched out Hoketsu.
He did not speak, but took her to the bathing room, sensing she was not ready to talk about what had happened on the mountain. The fact that she was alone spoke volumes more than words ever could. He waited til she nodded her approval of the arrangements, then bowed his way out the door. Gabrielle stripped and slid into the warm pool, allowing the tears to flow at last.
Meanwhile, at the docks, word had passed about the incredible defeat the small blonde warrior had visited on Yodoshi and the inconceivable price she had paid for her victory. The Captain of one of the vessels in residence stepped onto the dock and began looking for Hoketsu. The younger man bowed as the short, gray-haired captain approached him. Hoketsu had the utmost respect for Katerina von Lihp, even though the woman had the strangest habit of dressing like a shepherd instead of the Germanic sea captain she was. Still, she had proven herself a friend to Hoketsu and the people of Higuchi, so they overlooked her idiosyncrasies.
"Captain Lihp, it is a pleasure. How may the people of Higuchi serve you?"
"Ah, Hoketsu, my friend. Is it true that Yodoshi has been defeated by a small woman warrior?"
"Yes, yes, but at great cost to herself... to her soul."
The older woman scratched her face. "Perhaps I will offer her a way home. I'm sure she will not want to stay here."
"She is bathing, but I will bring her to you if she is willing, when she is done."
"Excellent. I will see to preparing the boat. The tide goes out at sunset and we would do well to go with it."
With a nod, Hoketsu continued on to the small market area and Captain Lihp returned to her vessel.
When he reached the shop he was looking for, Hoketsu entered and bowed toward the proprietor. The older man bowed back then asked with a smile. "Hoketsu, what can I do for you?"
"Morimoto, do you have anything to fit the Little Dragon Warrior? Her clothing was destroyed in the battle with Yodoshi. I wish to replace it before she leaves us."
"She is leaving then?"
"I expect she will. There is no real reason for her to remain and Captain Lihp is going to offer her passage back toward Greece. I think she will accept it."
Morimoto nodded his head thoughtfully. "I believe I can find something for her. She is much the size of the women here. Let me look. She will have my very best."
Hoketsu nodded and Morimoto went into the back area of his shop. Within minutes he returned and held up a package. "Several moons ago, I was compelled to make this," he said quietly, "though I didn't understand why at the time. Now I do. My gift to her."
Hoketsu nodded and accepted the package without opening it. Morimoto was the finest tailor he knew, so he believed that Gabrielle would appreciate the beauty of whatever artistry he had created.
As he began to make his way back to the bath house, Hoketsu was stopped by nearly every citizen of Higuchi, all eager to share their thanks with the bard. He was forced to ask for help in carrying all the gifts offered to her and he and Yama had to stop at his home to drop things off first. Then he turned to the young woman.
"Yama, will you take this to Gabrielle? She needs new clothing, but I do not wish to intrude upon the peace of her bath."
"I would be honored, Hoketsu." She bowed and walked the short distance to the bath house. When she arrived at the door, she stopped and listened. When she didn't hear anything, she knocked timidly and waited for permission to enter.
Gabrielle raised her head and opened her eyes to glare at the door when the knock came. She sighed soundlessly and beckoned, "Come."
Yama stepped into the warm room at the whispered command. "For you, Little Dragon." Yama set the package on the small bench that held the ragged remains of her Samurai costume and her meager belongings. The long sword, katana and chakram stood out conspicuously. "Morimoto sent it for you."
Gabrielle wanted to refuse, but she was too tired and too heart sore to really care. Instead, she nodded and closed her eyes again. Yama smiled gently and bowed herself out, closing her eyes at the anguish she had seen in the bard's own.
Gabrielle sat in the tub a bit longer before finally taking the cloth and the cake of soap and scrubbing herself clean, wishing with all her heart she could do the same with the memories. When she was done, she rose from the water and covered herself with the towel, walking over to inspect the package wrapped in rice paper.
She untied the hemp knot and the paper fell away to reveal... it was another samurai outfit, but this one was done in an indigo that reminded her of.... Her breath caught and she closed her eyes against the pain. Gabrielle slipped into the trousers, belting them comfortably before picking up the tunic. She stared amazed at the dragon pattern on the back, an exact duplicate of the one she now bore. It was silver and gold, red and green and she absently marveled at the intricate detail involved in its creation before donning it and settling her weapons.
She folded the towel neatly and stepped into her sandals before she exited the bath house and headed for the docks.
Hoketsu saw Gabrielle leave and moved to walk with her. She glanced in his direction and gave him a quizzical look, but did not say anything.
"I have arranged a way for you back to the mainland, if you desire to return. I did not think you would want to remain here any longer than necessary." Gabrielle nodded her acceptance of his words and motioned for him to lead the way.
When they reached Captain Lihp's boat, Hoketsu crossed the gangway and beckoned Gabrielle to join him on the deck. She walked over with cat-like ease, landing on the teak planking with a little hop. The Captain moved away from her first mate and came over to greet them.
"Welcome aboard. Hoketsu indicated you would like passage out of Japa. I would be happy to take you anywhere you would like to go." Gabrielle looked around at the spic-and-span ship and at the not-so-motley crew and nodded. "Are you in a hurry to get back to Greece or would you like to go with us? I have several ports of call I can stop at if you're not in a rush."
Gabrielle nodded again and both the Captain and Hoketsu began to wonder if her voice had been stolen on the mountain top. However, Lihp was nothing if not a determined woman, so she continued. "Excellent. Shanghai will be our first stop then." She didn't see the speculative gleam that entered the dull green eyes. "Now come," she persisted. "Let me show you your cabin."
Gabrielle turned to Hoketsu and hugged him. He hugged back gently, knowing that beneath the solidness of her body lay a fragility that was close to shattering. "Thank you," he whispered before she released him and stepped back to follow the Captain below decks. He waited a moment longer, then turned and stepped back down the gangplank to the docks. When his feet touched solid ground again, Hoketsu turned and looked back at the ship a final time, offering a prayer to his gods for the safety of Gabrielle's soul.
Lihp went down a single set of stairs and stopped in front of one of the few doors in the passageway. Then she turned to Gabrielle with serious intent.
"We don't carry many passengers, so your berth is not large. We do carry them often enough that this space is set aside for that purpose and it is clean. That is about the most that can be said for it. You have the freedom of the ship and if you need anything, you have but to ask."
Gabrielle nodded her understanding and the Captain opened the door, stepping back so she could pass thru. She looked around. Katerina hadn't lied - the space was extremely small, but it was clean and would suit her needs. Gabrielle gave her a simple nod of approval.
"Excellent! The good people of Higuchi wanted to be sure you were provided for on your journey, so they left you some provisions. Most of the things are here in your cabin. The rest is below decks in the storage area until you are ready to leave us." She waited for a response, but when none was forthcoming, she sighed silently and continued. "Now if you will excuse me, we will get underway."
Gabrielle nodded again and turned her back in dismissal, stepping over to open the small porthole to allow the fresh air in. She heard the door closed and the Captain's footsteps grow fainter before her shoulders sagged and she slumped onto the small platform cot.
No one heard her silent tears.
The next three weeks passed without much change in routine for either the ship's crew or its passenger. Gabrielle had not spoken a word since she'd set foot on the ship and the crew had learned rather quickly to steer clear of her. She spent candlemarks every day working with both the katana and her sais, though the chakram never left her hip. Her body grew lean and hard even as her eyes became more lifeless and dull.
The remainder of her waking candlemarks, Gabrielle spent staring out to sea or meditating. The longer the voyage became, the more often she turned to meditation. She found it soothed what was threatening to become an overwhelming rage. Her urge to strike out at everyone and everything sometimes sent a red wash through her veins. She found that meditating kept it manageable.
Strangely, the meditating and practice did wonders for her seasickness as well. Though she was not particularly happy to be on a ship again and despite the fact that her appetite was minimal, she experienced only mild discomfort this trip compared to previous ones.
Finally, on the morning of the twenty-second day, the lookout called out, "Land ho!" and it wasn't long before the boat was in the shipping lanes pulling in to the Shanghai port. Gabrielle went below decks to pack her few belongings. Except for the samurai clothing and some fresh fruit that she'd shared among the crew, she had touched nothing from Higuchi. She felt the boat slip into a berth and gave an unconscious sigh of relief.
As she made her way topside, she was hailed by the Captain. "Little Dragon, wait. Please."
Gabrielle stopped, digging into her bag. She found what she was looking for and handed Katerina her small purse. Lihp recoiled as though it were a snake.
"NO!" she said vehemently. "Your money will not work with us, Little Dragon. The people of Higuchi owed you a debt and this is how they chose to make payment."
Green eyes studied hers and Katerina fought to contain her shudder at the deadness of them. Eventually Gabrielle nodded her agreement and placed the purse back in her bag. The Captain nodded back and exhaled in relief.
"Good! Good! Now what shall we do with your other things, hä?" Gabrielle's brow crinkled in confusion and Katerina hastened to explain. "The gifts we stowed in the hold."
Gabrielle shook her head and shrugged. Then she reached out and clasped Katerina's arm briefly before turning and heading down the gangplank.
Captain Lihp watched her out of sight before muttering to herself. "The gods watch over you, Gabrielle of Poteideia. We will see you in Greece." Then she turned back to her boat and the business at hand.
Shanghai was a busy port of call, full of merchants, sailors and purveyors of all types of things. Gabrielle took notice of little of it, not realizing that people moved out of her way. She didn't notice the whispers as her samurai dress was noted by the populace. Her senses were aware, but they were focused for danger, not for whispered comments and the space of respect.
She stepped off the main path, looking for a quiet inn with a bath. The first thing that actually got her attention was the sweet smell of opium and she hesitated in front of the door for a long moment. Gabrielle remembered well Xena's stories from her first experience in Chin, though she'd never shared much from that part of her life. Xena had shared the reason for her reluctance to use any sort of narcotic to dull her pain.
Now Gabrielle found herself seriously contemplating the need to lose herself as she had lost Xena. To fill the void Xena's death had caused with mellow joy, even if only for a little while. She put her hand on the door and pushed it open slightly, allowing the wafting sweet scent of the opium to escape. Then she let is close as her shoulders dropped and she turned to journey farther up the road.
"No. I will keep the memories and the pain. It's all I have left."
Gabrielle found what she was looking for on the outskirts of the town. The Labrys hanging near the door reminded her of the Amazons and she knew that she would be safe for the night. It occurred to her in passing that she would need to check on her sisters if she lived that long. She would make it back to Greece... she had promised Xena long ago to take her back to her brother. But Gabrielle had no definite plans beyond getting Xena's remains to Amphipolis. After that....
With a sigh, she pushed open the door, welcoming the relative quiet after the marketplace. She stepped to the bar and dug in her purse, withdrawing a gold coin. She slapped in on the bar in front of the proprietress and raised a brow. She gave silent thanks for Xena's training when the woman started speaking rapid-fire Chinese.
"For that... dinner, bath, bed, breakfast and supplies for the road." Gabrielle nodded agreement and took the mug of ale placed before her. "Everyone calls me Ling," the woman introduced herself. "Come and I will show you to your room."
Gabrielle hefted her bag and lifted the mug. Then she followed Ling down the small hallway. She opened a door and Gabrielle noted it was a clean, sparse room. She nodded her satisfaction and set down her things. Ling crossed the hall and opened another door. Inside was a huge pool, much like the one Gabrielle had used in Higuchi. Except this one had other women in it. They all turned to look and Gabrielle bore the stares stoically.
Ling turned to her and asked, "You want to bathe now? I will wash the outfit, samurai... no extra charge."
Gabrielle stepped into the room and stripped out of her clothing, this time acutely aware of the whispers behind her. A collective gasp fell from the lips of those gathered when her bare back was exposed. When she turned around, she noted that all the women had moved to the far end of the pool. Shrugging to herself, she moved towards the pool.
Ling handed her a cloth and a towel. "They moved to show respect, Little Dragon. Women warriors are very rare here and samurai not at all." She offered a cake of soap.
Gabrielle's eyes had widened at Ling's use of her nickname, but she took the soap and began bathing the days at sea away from her body. When she was done, she rose and wrapped the towel around herself and left the room. Not a word had been spoken while she'd been in there and the low murmur of voices now sounded like so many angry bees.
Dinner was rice and vegetables and a flagon of wine that Gabrielle found sitting on the low table when she stepped into her room. She ate, pleasantly surprised by the mixture of flavors. Then she fell into a deep, dreamless sleep.
It was late when she awakened and only then because Ling was knocking. Gabrielle pulled the sheet around her and wiped the sleep from her eyes as she rose. She scrubbed her hand through her hair and then opened the door.
Ling offered her a tray and a package. Gabrielle could tell from the feel it was her clothing and she bowed slightly in thanks. Then she shut the door and began to prepare herself for travel.
Ling had given her a small map and Gabrielle had decided to follow the Yangtze River while she searched for Eve. She knew it could take a while for her to find Eve, but figured when she started hearing Eli's message, the messenger would not be too far away.
It was shortly after midday when Gabrielle was stopped by a small group of men demanding payment for walking along the road. The Gabrielle of old, being a skilled bard and negotiator, would have tried talking her way out of the situation. The new Gabrielle didn't hesitate and in the blink of an eye held her katana in one hand and the chakram in the other.
The men laughed amazed at the boldness of the woman standing before them. Not knowing she understood them perfectly and not just the crude gestures they had demanded payment with, one man commented to the other just what he was going to do to teach the impudent woman a lesson.
His words weren't out of his mouth before his head hit the ground. His body remained upright a beat or two longer before it collapsed. In the silence that followed, the five remaining men gauged the situation and the lone woman warrior. Deciding she could not beat them as a whole, they attacked enthusiastically, trying to bury her under the onslaught.
Gabrielle shifted the katana forward and across, glorying in the sweet, coppery smell of blood as it sprayed over her mostly bare skin and licking it's tangy saltiness from her lips. She had resumed her red velvet number when she'd left the inn and now she was glad she had... for several different reasons.
With her left hand she swung the chakram in a wide arc, catching the third man across the throat. He gurgled his last breath.
The three remaining men looked at Gabrielle as though she were a demon possessed and tried to back away. Gabrielle felt the bloodlust sing through her veins and grinned. "Problem, boys? One woman a little too much for you?" said in a whisper that sent skitters across their collective spines.
They didn't understand her words, but her intent was clear. Before they could decide between fight or flight, Gabrielle descended upon them, unleashing the pain and fury she felt. It didn't take long and in the end, six Chinamen laid dead and the blood-covered warrior wiped her weapons before continuing her journey.
When evening came, Gabrielle found herself searching for a place to make camp. She'd encountered two other sets of highwaymen and each encounter ended the same. She wanted to feel sadness for the unnecessary deaths, but all she could manage was a sense of fulfillment. Strangely, she wasn't particularly hungry, though she'd missed lunch.
Shrugging her shoulders, she found a quiet spot off the beaten path near a still pool. She checked the water and when she was satisfied it wasn't stagnant, she stripped her clothes off and stepped in to wash.
It took her a few minutes to wash the blood away, but she did so rather nonchalantly, then took up her red velvet outfit and scrubbed it clean. She rose from the water and shivered a little in the light breeze. She took a shift from her bag and slid into it, then laid her clothing on the nearby brush to dry. Gabrielle started a small fire, appreciating the warmth more than the light. She heated water for tea and wrapped herself in her sleeping furs, never even realizing when she passed from wakefulness into sleep.
The next few days started a pattern that would continue for the next few moons. Gabrielle rose early and ate, then moved on down the river path. Some days, she would encounter brigands and she found herself oddly full after decimating each roving band. Other days she would spend in the small towns or villages she ran across, helping where she could... building a barn, taking care of the sick, cleaning up after a raid. Simple things that reminded her she was still alive and there were always people in need of help.
Slowly, the days passed into weeks and the weeks became one moon and then two. Finally, after nearly three moons of travel across the land of Chin, Gabrielle was certain Eve was not in the country. She had reached the mountains with no hint of the message or the messenger.
Studying the map, Gabrielle realized that India was on the other side of the mountain range and she decided she was tired of Chin. So she prepared herself and her gear for a trip over the mountains and into India.
It was an arduous journey, but Gabrielle welcomed the challenge. It took all her focus and that was especially good when her bloodlust returned in full measure. She hardly had time to wonder at the cause of it, much less its satisfaction. Soon, the cold and lust overwhelmed her and when she stepped into a world that seemed to be a figment of her madness, she surrendered to it.
When she first opened her eyes, Gabrielle was almost sure she'd crossed into the Elysian Fields. Instead of the cold, whipping wind and stinging bite of snow she expected, the temperature was mild and the climate moderate. Blinking, she realized that she was indoors on a soft bed. She sat up and noticed for the first time that she was clean and naked. It didn't really concern her, but it did make her curious, so Gabrielle gathered the sheet around her and padded to the window. She opened it and stared out into... green eyes blinked several times. The grass was lush and green and the flowers bursting with fragrance and color. Well-dressed people walked along a market area filled with all manner of interesting things.
Gabrielle's forehead crinkled in confusion. She didn't recall the Fields having a marketplace. A knock on her door interrupted her contemplation.
A curly head poked in after the second knock and for a moment Gabrielle thought it was Ephiny. She shook her head trying to clear the confusion while motioning for the woman to come in.
"Hello, young one," the cheerful voice greeted. "Welcome to Shangri La."
Gabrielle's brow furrowed again. The name seemed so familiar, but she couldn't place it. Was it a myth she had heard? A story on the road? She shrugged mentally. It would occur to her eventually. It usually did. Gabrielle turned her attention back to the woman.
"... Manassa, so you let me know if I can help you, all right dear?" Without waiting for an answer, Manassa continued. "Here is your clothing. It's been cleaned and repaired." Gabrielle reached for her purse. "Oh, no charge, dear. We can settle your bill later. Are you hungry?"
Gabrielle thought about that, then nodded.
"Good, I'll let you get dressed, then we'll see about feeding you." The woman was gone before Gabrielle had a chance to register her leaving.
The next few days passed in something of a blur for Gabrielle. The people had made her very welcome, expecting nothing more from her than what she offered. There was a lassitude, a peace that pervaded all life here and Gabrielle found a part of herself wishing she could stay and enjoy it. The larger part of her was growing antsier, trying to control an urge she still didn't understand.
On the morning of the ninth day after her arrival in the small village, Gabrielle packed up her kit. She knew she had to leave before the burning in her blood manifest itself physically. Manassa looked at her with great sadness.
"I hope you find your peace, young warrior," she said softly as she accepted a small amount of money from Gabrielle. They'd argued about this... Gabrielle with silent, harsh motions and Manassa with quiet, simple words. They had reached an accord they could both live with and now Gabrielle was anxious to leave the small village before she visited her rage upon the innocent people living there.
Gabrielle nodded an acknowledgement of her words and unexpectedly leaned forward to brush her lips on Manassa's cheek. Then she stepped out the door without a backward look and headed for the Southern mountain range and India that lay beyond.
Once again, the severe cold overcame every thought and focus she had and Gabrielle's last thought before she succumbed was that she would never get to tell Eve about Xena's death.
When she awakened this time, it was to the familiar scent of curry and a firm straw mattress beneath her body. She sat up and looked around, hoping to find a clue of where she was, wondering if her previous experience had been the imaginings of a madwoman.
Her stirrings alerted the young man who was tending to her and he nodded to the young woman who was in the room with him before handing her a cup and bidding her to drink. Then he spoke softly in Hindu words Gabrielle recognized from her travels twenty-six full cycles previously.
"Rest, Dragon Warrior. The messenger has been summoned."
Gabrielle relaxed, hoping that the hard part of her journey was almost done. She'd fallen into a light doze and didn't rouse when Eve stepped into the room. Tears filled Eve's eyes, noting the pallor and almost skeletal leanness, knowing that Gabrielle's solitary state could only mean one thing. Eve nodded her thanks to the young man and he took it for the dismissal it was. Then Eve settled into a chair by Gabrielle's bedside and waited for her to awaken again.
Slowly, slower than she expected, Gabrielle felt herself rising toward the light again and was at once eager and fearful to awaken. She was fairly certain that Eve was the person in the room with her and now that she actually had to tell her about her mother, Gabrielle felt the tears that had been dry for three moons begin to flow.
Eve sensed Gabrielle's distress and moved to kneel by the bed. She didn't speak, but merely held the hand of someone who could have been another mother to her if Fate had treated them all just a little differently. She wondered if Gabrielle would consider her a friend.
Things had always been slightly strained and awkward between them though they had tried to work through it due to their love for Xena. Now it was that love that would pull them together or push them apart forever.
Gabrielle felt Eve take her hand and the gentle kindness in the gesture made the tears flow even faster. She curled into herself and Eve's eyes welled with sympathetic tears. Without thought, she scooped the small woman into her arms and held her tightly until Gabrielle had stopped trembling.
Eve kissed the blonde hair lightly before setting Gabrielle next to her and taking the calloused hands in her own smoother ones. She recognized the weapons patterns and closed her eyes. Only one thing would have prompted her to choose a sword, after all this time, Eve thought seriously.
"Gabrielle," she said softly, not understanding the flinch that passed through the other woman's body at the sound of her name. Gabrielle's eyes closed as she tried to regain her equilibrium. "Gabrielle, I know you came here to tell me Mother is dead... didn't you? It's the only reason I can think of you would be here alone."
Gabrielle nodded her head, for a long moment unable to look into the blue eyes that reminded her of just how much she'd lost.
"Can you tell me what happened?" Eve paused, reading the agony so clearly in the dead green eyes that finally met her own. "I know... I know you loved her, Gabrielle, more than anything, just as she loved you." Gabrielle's shudder was visible, but Eve continued. "If things had been different, we would have been a family. I loved her, because she was my mother and I knew she loved me in return. And I'll miss her, but more for what could have been than what was."
Gabrielle understood what Eve was saying. It was almost what she'd expected, given the limited amount of time mother and daughter had had together before Eve had journeyed eastward. They had bonded and even become friends, but her grief was not the overwhelming loss of a soulmate that Gabrielle was living with.
Gabrielle was quiet for so long that Eve felt compelled to speak. "Gabrielle, I can't begin to understand how you feel, but I am here if you need to talk. For now, though, I'd like you to drink this and get some rest." She handed a cup to Gabrielle. "We can continue our discussion later."
Gabrielle complied without protest and it was then that it occurred to Eve what was so odd... beyond the obvious. Gabrielle had yet to say a word.
Eve waited patiently while Gabrielle finished the draught the healer had left for her, then sat beside her until she felt the small warrior slip into a deep sleep. Then she rose and went to her own room, closing the door before calling on Gabrielle's goddess friend.
"Aphrodite, goddess of love and friend to my mother and Gabrielle, I beseech you to grant me an audience."
"Yo, babe! Whassup?"
Eve turned from the window and looked at the goddess now standing in a ring of rose petals in her barely-there pink outfit. Dite grinned and shook her curly mane.
"Hey, Eve! Long time, no talk to. You still doing the one God gig?"
"Hi, Aphrodite! Yeah, I am, so thanks for coming."
"Too bad!" The goddess flopped on Eve's bed, frowning in supreme discomfort. "Ew! Grody!" She snapped her fingers and was instantly on her own comfortable divan. "Ah, much better," she sighed. "Now what's up that you call for me instead of Eli?" her tone serious.
"I asked you to come because of Gabrielle. She once told me that you were her friend."
Now Eve had Dite's full attention. "I'd like to think I still am."
Eve took a seat on the couch beside the goddess and looked directly into her eyes. "Good. Then you can tell me what happened to my mother and why Gabrielle no longer speaks."
Aphrodite's eyes grew wide. "Whaddya mean what happened to...." Her voice trailed off and her gaze went inward. "That would explain Ares...." she muttered to herself, then reached for Eve's hand. "C'mon, babe. We've got things to do."
"Uh... but... Aphr...." But that was all she got out as the pair disappeared in a shimmer of sparkles.
Her last visit to Olympus had been such an unmitigated disaster, Eve wasn't real comfortable when she figured out where they were. Aphrodite caught that clue pretty quick.
"Chill, babe." There was sadness in her gaze before she focused on Eve. "We aren't going to the audience hall. None of us have been there since...."
Eve laid a gentle hand on Dite's arm and looked at her compassionately. "Aphrodite, I am sorry. What happened...."
"What happened to them was totally their fault. Ares and I tried to warn them... tried to stop them, but they so wouldn't listen. They paid for their arrogance to the max. Maybe one day they'll get it." Eve looked at her in confusion, but Dite continued. "This is my scrying bowl," motioning towards the object. "We can see what rocked her world for ourselves." She looked at Eve. "Do you know when this happened?"
Eve shook her head. "No, but it has to have been a couple moons or so. She is nothing but muscle and bone. And her hands are rough as though she's been fighting for a while."
"Well, it for sure didn't happen around here or I would have seen it. Let me hook this gnarly thing to the worldwide god web. This will let us scan for her anywhere, anytime."
Dite did some adjusting and jiggling, looking back and forth between the back of the scrying bowl and the wall where the picture was being reflected. "Eve, keep an eye on the picture will you, babe? I don't have to do this often and I never remember...." The love goddess ducked her around the back, mumbling to herself.
"Hold it!" Eve shouted, causing Aphrodite to smack into the wall. She lifted up her head to glare at Eve. "Sorry, but that is perfect."
Dite eased away from the bowl, rubbing her head gingerly as she moved to take a seat on the large bed. She waved a hand and a tray appeared and she poured them each a goblet of wine. "Now, how far back do you think we should go?"
"Um, Aphrodite, shouldn't we start at the here and now first?"
"Oh, like duh!" She looked around, then snatched the small box of the bedside stand. She pointed it at the scrying bowl, but nothing happened. Dite peered at it closely, then aimed again. "This is so uncool! Never let a man play with the toys, babe, especially a god. They never work right after that." She rapped it against her hand, pleased when the picture shifted to Gabrielle, then appalled when she saw exactly what shape her friend was in. "Oh, my... Gabrielle?"
Tears flooded Aphrodite's eyes and she raised a hand to cover her mouth. "Oh Gabrielle," she said softly. "Let's see what we can do." She looked at Eve, "Two moons, you said?"
Eve nodded. "At least, I think. What happened to her takes time."
"All right, that would make it...." She pointed the box and Eve watched a blur of images fly by in reverse. The images stopped. "... about here." Dite clicked the box but nothing happened. She clicked it twice more, but still nothing. Frustrated she gave it a good smack and the images stared to play forward in slow motion.
"Um, Aphrodite, I don't wanna question your methods, but why not just wave or snap or something? Wouldn't it be easier?"
"Yes, but the instructions to using the wwgw say to use the box, so I do." She shook it and the picture resumed normal speed. Then she almost wished it hadn't. Gabrielle was surrounded by highwaymen and yet she cut them down as callously as though they had been so much brush wood. Dite cleared her throat. "Maybe we should look for her and Xena together."
The images once more moved backwards rapidly and Dite missed the final interlude on Mt. Fuji. Instead, she caught them at the teahouse, just as Xena was teaching Gabrielle the pinch.
"Stop," Eve said quietly. "This is important."
So they watched, experiencing Gabrielle's horror first hand. When they got to Xena's headless body, Eve whispered, "No more, please," and stunned, Dite complied. She shut off the scrying bowl and the worldwide god web marked her place, a factor which would become crucial as time went on.
Eve had tears streaming down her face when she looked at Aphrodite. "My God... how horrible. No wonder Gabrielle was nearly destroyed by this. I barely knew my mother and I feel like my guts are being ripped out. They were everything to each other."
"That was way uncool of Xena," Aphrodite commented flippantly, wiping the tears from her eyes. "There is gonna be some radical payment for this screw-up," she muttered. "Let's get back to Gabrielle. I have something that may help until I can find a solution to this totally fubared situation." They disappeared, leaving only a trail of rose petals in their wake.
Gabrielle woke to the soft feel of fingers gently combing through her hair and for a long moment lost herself in memories the feeling stirred in her. Then she realized that the touch was wrong and reality crashed on top of her once more. She opened her eyes and saw tears in the blue eyes regarding her.
"How ya doing, kiddo?" Aphrodite asked softly. She stopped stroking as Gabrielle sat up, but kept her hand on the muscular arm. It took all she had not to flinch at the obvious changes Xena's death had wrought in her friend. "I'm sorry, Gabrielle. I just found out, or I'd have been here sooner."
Gabrielle didn't answer and she didn't cry, but she did throw her arms around the goddess's neck and hug her for all she was worth. Dite spared a moment's thought to be thankful for her immortality... the strength of the hug would have been painful otherwise.
Gabrielle clung to her for quite some time and neither woman noticed when Eve slipped out the door to give them some privacy. Finally, they separated and Aphrodite put two fingers under Gabrielle's chin, raising the green eyes to meet her own. This time she did flinch and closed her eyes briefly when the depth of Gabrielle's pain met her gaze.
"I have a totally radical present for ya," the goddess said lightly, but Gabrielle could feel the effort Dite was putting in to maintain her facade. She reached up a trembling hand to Dite's face and smiled forlornly. Two tears spilled from Aphrodite's eyes and fell unnoticed to the bed. The goddess reached out her hand and a ring appeared in it. She presented it to Gabrielle.
"I've seen a little of what brought you here. I'd like you to wear this. It's my talisman... it will mark you as my chosen and offer you protection as you travel." She watched Gabrielle's face closely and Gabrielle slowly took the ring from her fingers. She looked a question at Dite and the goddess answered. "You never needed it before now."
Gabrielle shook her head and tried to hand it back. Aphrodite's hands folded Gabrielle's closed over the ring. "Please. You have to let me help. This is wrong and I need time to find the answers!"
The bard had never seen Dite so adamant or so distraught. She gazed into the goddess's eyes for a very long time before finding the answer she was seeking. Then she nodded her acquiescence.
Aphrodite smiled. "Thank you, girlfriend. Now, would you like a radical lift back to Greece or...?"
She broke off and it took Gabrielle a moment shift gears and realize the Dite had reverted to form to deal with things on a less serious level. She more than most understood Aphrodite hid the depth of her feelings and intelligence behind the airhead blonde mentality. Gabrielle shook her head and Aphrodite nodded in understanding.
"Cool! I've got some research to do, so you chill with Eve or whatever and I'll see you in Greece shortly, k?"
Gabrielle just nodded again, almost sure she'd understood what Dite had said. Time would tell.
"Keep the ring on babe! See ya!" And the goddess disappeared in a shower of petals.
Gabrielle picked one up and rubbed it between her fingers, shaking her head with a smile. She slid the ring onto her middle finger, then shifted, scowling when something hard pressed into the soft flesh of her leg. A knock on her door made her look up and then she returned her attention to the cot, searching around with her hands to find what was poking her.
Her hands hit the objects just as the door opened and she closed her fist around them and glanced up at Eve who's stuck her head in hesitantly. They stared at each other a long time before Eve broke the tableau and walked over to Gabrielle's side. She didn't take a seat on the bed, but rather knelt on the floor at Gabrielle's feet.
She studied the hands in her lap, then gazed into Gabrielle's eyes. "I know what happened," she said softly. "Some of it anyway. But I'd like to hear the whole story from you. Do you think you could...?"
Gabrielle studied her, clenching her fists in memory before looking down and opening them, realizing what had been aggravating her. Aphrodite's tears, she mused, staring at the two large diamonds now resting in her palm. She looked back at Eve, whose face bore a patient, understanding countenance. She deserves to know the whole truth, Gabrielle decided. She nodded her head.
Eve sat up on her knees and brushed her lips across Gabrielle's cheek. "Thank you. I'll leave you to get dressed and then perhaps you'll join me for dinner?" She waited for Gabrielle's nod. "The bathing room is next door if you'd rather have a warm bath first." She saw a tiny sparkle enter Gabrielle's eyes. "I'll come get you in half a candlemark or so then, all right?"
"Thank you, Eve." There was no sound, but they were the first words Gabrielle's lips had formed since just after Xena's death. It was a tiny, tiny step, but it was a step in the right direction.
Gabrielle spent almost a full moon with Eve. It was far longer than she'd planned to stay, but she found the retelling of Xena's story so draining that Eve would only allow her to whisper short bits of the tale before sending her off to rest and recuperate.
Gabrielle spent much of her off time with Eve meditating or drilling. She tried to keep to a schedule that wouldn't disturb the others in the compound, but many were the nights that Eve would wake in the middle of the night to find Gabrielle in the courtyard moving her katana with deadly accuracy.
After eleven straight nights of this, Eve decided to take action. Knowing Gabrielle was sleeping little and eating less, Eve decided to go with her own strength's and make sure that Gabrielle finally got the rest she so desperately needed.
That morning, Gabrielle had reached the part in her story where she'd found Xena's headless body and she'd left the room abruptly with hot, angry tears coursing down her face. Eve made no immediate move to find her, reliving the awful sight that had plagued her since seeing it with Aphrodite. She could only imagine how magnified Gabrielle's feelings were, having actually lived through the trauma.
Instead, Eve went to her chamber and sought answers through prayer and meditation. Eli manifested himself to her and for several candlemarks they talked, until Eve was prepared to take the necessary action to help Gabrielle. Eli blessed her and bade her to rest, which she did, until darkness fell. Then she took up the sword Eli had left for her and moved into the courtyard to await Gabrielle's arrival.
Gabrielle did not disappoint. Just as the moon reached its zenith, she stepped from the shadows of her doorway and into the middle of the soft grass. The katana made the merest whisper of sound as it left its sheath and Gabrielle immediately flew into a furious frenzy of moves.
Eve watched from the shadows and waited patiently, choosing carefully the precise moment to enter the fray. Gabrielle didn't even blink when her imaginary foe coalesced into a live human being before her eyes. She simply stepped up her intensity and a feral light entered her eyes.
Eve shuddered when she saw the familiar but forgotten expression enter Gabrielle's eyes and she knew then that this battle was all too real. Eve tapped into a side of herself that hadn't seen the light of day in a very long time and felt the part of her that was Livia responding to the challenge Gabrielle put forth.
The battle went on for several candlemarks and it was only because of Eve's better physical condition that she finally managed to knock Gabrielle to the ground unconscious. She rested herself for quite a bit before moving her sweat-soaked hair from her eyes and rising to stand on wobbly legs.
Unexpectedly, Eli appeared before her and knelt down to lift Gabrielle into his arms. Eve picked up the katana and followed him to Gabrielle's room.
Gabrielle slept for two days while Eve watched and waited. When she woke on the morning of the third day, it was like she'd turned a corner. She ate decently and though she still did not speak, except to relate more of Xena's story in whispers to Eve, she walked the gardens a bit before returning to sleep some more.
Eve did get a bit more sparring out of her, but quickly realized that she'd been very lucky Gabrielle had been exhausted that first night. Gabrielle's skill had surpassed her own and the only reason she didn't end up bleeding or dead was because Gabriele turned killing blows aside. She did end up with some nice bruises though.
At the end of her third quarter moon, her story was told and Gabrielle was ready to move on. She was still single-minded in her determination to get Xena's remains to Amphipolis, but she was now thankful for the time spent with Eve. The awkwardness was gone and they had forged a friendship that they would both cherish despite the distance between them.
Gabrielle packed her bag and slung it over her shoulder, then headed out to find Eve. Eve was waiting for her at the compound's kitchen.
"Thank you for being here, Gabrielle and for sharing that story with me. I know it wasn't easy, but I think we both needed to hear it." The bard didn't answer and Eve continued. "C'mon," she said, picking up a large bag. "I've got something for you."
Gabrielle followed Eve out the door and to the stables. There sat a horse that reminded her so much of Handsome it nearly made her cry. She turned shocked green eyes to Eve. The Messenger shrugged.
"He wandered in just before you did. He wouldn't leave and he wouldn't let anyone ride him either. After our fight the other day, he kept watch over you. I think he came here looking for you."
Gabrielle stepped over to the horse who greeted her almost familiarly. She crossed back over to Eve and held out her arms, stepping into Eve's embrace simultaneously. "Thank you," Gabrielle whispered into the taller woman's ear. "For everything."
"Be safe, Gabrielle. I love you."
Gabrielle's answer was another brief hug, then she moved back to the horse and mounted him. She clucked her tongue and tightened her legs and Handsome started out of the compound. Gabrielle paused at the entranced and turned and gave Eve a wave. Then she left down the road without another backwards glance.
Aphrodite meanwhile, returned to Olympus to find some answers. The first thing she did was watch the whole tragic story from beginning to end. Then she learned what had brought Xena and Gabrielle to Japa and she went back and did some research on Akemi. What she found infuriated her and she made a quick trip to visit her Asian counterparts.
Dite explained her dilemma and they discovered that Xena really wasn't in their underworld. They did decide that Akemi would need to be punished for her duplicity and Dite was satisfied that justice would be served to the extent it could be. She wasn't sure Gabrielle would agree though, especially since Xena seemed to have completely disappeared.
The love goddess popped back to Olympus and started on a god hunt. She went searching for Hades first.
"HADES!!" She waited a beat, then bellowed again. "Uncle Hades!!" She popped into Hades domain, but he was nowhere to be found. She scratched her hands through her hair and opened her mouth, but was stopped by a soft voice behind her.
"He's not here, Dite. He spends his time in Rome as Pluto now. You know that."
"Hey, Persephone. What are you doing here?"
Persephone shrugged. "I come back from time to time just to make sure things here are all right. We can't really go back to Olympus, at least not for a while, but this will always be more home to me than Rome. Hades judges Greek and Roman souls from Rome now and he's not real happy with the added workload."
"Do you think he could spare a moment for me? I have a problem."
"Dite, we'd be glad to have you come stay in Rome. We miss having you around."
Aphrodite smiled sadly. "I miss you guys too, but someone needs to stay here to keep an eye on things. Besides, I really hate Rome. I do manage to get there occasionally; I just can't stay very long. It's not home."
"Oh, girlfriend that is so very true."
Dite giggled when she heard the words flow from her rather proper cousin's mouth. "Careful there, 'Seph. They'll accuse you of totally radical blondish tendencies." They laughed together.
"C'mon, Dite. Let's go see Hades."
"You mean Pluto?"
"Yeah, whatever."
The chamber echoed their laughter as the disappeared in a swirl of sparks and petals.
"Psst... Ha... um, I mean, Pluto. Could I see you privately for a moment?" Persephone questioned softly. The god of the underworld nodded and rose.
"Judgment will continue in one candlemark," he said and moved back into his private living area. He took his wife into his arms and kissed her before the cooing and chuckling of Aphrodite made them separate, blushing.
"Hello, Aphrodite."
"Hello, Uncle. You two are just so cute together. A real walking ad for the love connection."
"Ahem, yes. Well, as glad as I am to see you here, I'm sure you didn't come to discuss our love life. What can I do for you?"
Aphrodite became serious instantly. "Uncle, have you seen Xena?"
"Have I seen Xena what?" Hades asked blankly. "She hasn't come through for judgment, if that's what you're asking."
Dite sighed and her shoulders slumped slightly. "'K, thanks. Guess I'll have to keep looking."
"Looking?" Hades stopped when Persephone put a hand on his arm.
"I'll explain it to you later." She turned to Dite. "Can you stay for a while?"
"I wish I could. Let me figure out what happened here and I'll come back for a longer visit. If you hear anything, let me know, will ya?" She disappeared before they could say a word.
She checked with Odin next, who though no friend of Xena, promised to let Dite know if the warrior passed through his realm. She even dropped down to Egypt and had a talk with Isis. Finally, covering all the bases she could think of, Dite returned to Olympus and went to talk to Ares.
Gabrielle continued her trek westward, moving slowly across the deserts and plains of Kashmir, Mesopotamia, Persia and Assyria, headed for the Mediterranean Sea.
She'd found the ring Aphrodite had given her was actually awkward to adjust to with her weapons, so she took it off and put it into her bag next to Xena's ashes.
Almost immediately, she felt a change in her demeanor, but she attributed her heightened senses and wariness to being alone on the road. Her first encounter with thugs left her heart racing and her blood pounding. And it left seven decimated men lying at her feet.
After several more experiences that left her bloodlust burning higher than the last, she found a quiet inn where she could rest and try to recoup her lost equilibrium. Gabrielle spent almost a whole day meditating before she remembered the ring and dug it out of her bag. She slid it onto her finger and literally felt her blood calm and settle. She sat down and resumed her meditation and was able to focus to the point that she was centered again.
Gabrielle ruefully acknowledged to herself that she was going to have to adjust her fighting technique to include wearing the ring. Whatever protection it provided, it was going to keep her from losing herself and her mind before she got home.
Days turned into moons before Gabrielle reached the Mediterranean Sea. She'd made the decision to cross to Greece on boat. She wasn't looking forward to it, but it was the quickest way to get there. And more than anything, Gabrielle was ready to go home.
"ARES! Ares!! Where are you?" Dite stood in the middle of one of his remaining Greek temples and stamped her foot in impatience. She figured her brother would have at least some of the answers she needed.
He popped in with less than his usual theatrical entrance. "What is it Dite? I was in the middle of a skirmish on the Roman border." He tried to act angry, but she could see the tiredness and profound sadness behind his question.
She took his hand. "C'mon, bro. We need to talk."
Aphrodite popped them into her boudoir on Olympus and set out a tray of goodies and a flagon of wine. "You wanna level with me Ares? I know you had something to do with Xena's disappearance. Do you know where she is?"
His shoulders sagged, but he didn't answer immediately. She curled up beside him and took his hands. Then she looked him in the eye and softened her voice.
"C'mon, bro. Level with me. I know that being both a Greek and Roman god is exhausting. I have to do it too, remember? In that way the rest of family got off easy. The Twilight came to Greece and Xena 'killed' them so the one God concept could take root. They went to Rome and we, well, too bad no one but us understands the real truth of that, huh?"
That got a small smile out of him. "Yeah."
"So level with me, huh? There aren't many of us left in Greece and we need to stick together. Especially you and me." She bumped shoulder with him. "We learned that the hard way, didn't we?"
Ares shuddered at the memories that question invoked. He cleared his throat. "Oh yeah. Not one of the more pleasant experiences in my long life."
Dite smiled. "You were a cute farmer."
He tried to glare at her, really he did, but the smile on her face and the twinkle in her eyes was irresistible. "Hmph!" was all he said, but he poured them each a glass of wine and Dite placed the tray on the nearby table.
"Get comfortable, sis. This is a little hard to explain."