Gabrielle, Goddess of Indecision
"I don't even know why I bother to hunt, or fish, anymore," Xena was saying. "It seems like a waste of time now."
"But what happens if we get so dependent on me for everything, not that I mind you understand, and then one day I lose my powers? We'd starve to death," Gabrielle answered. "Besides, you love to fish, and hunt."
"True enough, but I liked it better when it meant something, when it was important."
"Xena, what's more important than doing something you really like to do? I don't have to actually write on my scrolls anymore. I could just wave my hand and the writing would just appear. Sometimes it's the actual doing that's satisfying, not necessarily the results."
"Well, you've become quite the philosopher. Maybe we should call you Gabrielle, Goddess of Philosophy."
"You're not going to start that again, are you? I thought you'd had enough, I know I sure have."
"But Gabrielle, you really should have some kind of title. You can't keep on being the Goddess of Vagueness."
"I know, Xena, I know. And it'll come to me, eventually, just the way I've been discovering my powers. One day I'll know what kind of goddess I am, and what my title should be."
"Maybe you ought to ask Aphrodite. I'm sure she wouldn't mind helping out."
"You know, Xena, that's not such a bad idea. It's been ages since I've seen her anyway. How would like to take a little trip to Mt. Olympus?"
"If you mean we take a month or so to get there, I could go for that. But if you're thinking about transporting us there instantly the way gods do, well, I think I'll pass this time around."
"What's the matter? Don't you trust my competence as a goddess?"
"Of course I trust you, for the things I've seen you do. But you've never done that before. How do you know you can even do it, much less get us to Mt. Olympus?"
"But it's like you said, I look inside myself and I know I can do it."
"Then you wouldn't mind putting on a little demonstration first, would you? Just to make sure."
"If you insist. What would you like me to do?"
"Well, how about if you come over by me, and then send yourself -- over there, where Argo is tethered?"
"Sure, no problem," Gabrielle said as she walked over to stand next to Xena. She then leaned a little in Argo's direction and closed her left eye, aiming with the right, and then she disappeared in a shimmer of gold and silver sparks.
Xena saw her go, but didn't see her instantly reappear next to the horse. "A little slow," she thought.
After several minutes Gabrielle came walking up the path to the camp. "I guess I overshot a little bit," was her only explanation. "Let me try it again."
Again she stood next to Xena, leaned a little, this time she closed her right eye, concentrated, and then disappeared leaving a few sparkles behind. Xena waited -- no Gabrielle. After a short while, Xena sat down with her sharpening stone and began honing the edge of her sword, whistling softly as she did.
Much later Gabrielle came up the path again. "I guess my left eye isn't as good as my right one," she said sheepishly.
"Maybe you shouldn't close either eye, or close both of them," Xena suggested, still touching up the edge of her sword.
"You're right. I must be trying too hard. One more time."
For the third time Gabrielle concentrated on Argo, both eyes open, and then she vanished. A blink of an eye later she was next to Argo, who looked at her, unimpressed, then went back to grazing.
"See there?" Gabrielle said proudly. "Nothing to it, once I got the hang of it."
"So how are you when it comes to popping over to someplace you can't see?" Xena asked.
"Do you always have to be so negative?" Gabrielle asked, irritated that Xena had doused her candle.
Xena shrugged her shoulders but continued the questioning look.
"Okay, maybe I should practice a little more. Where can I go?"
"Well, wherever it is, make sure it's within walking distance, just in case," Xena suggested.
"Very funny. Ha ha. I know, I'll go to Mt. Olympus by myself. And then I'll come back for you."
"Well, good luck. I'll be here," Xena answered. "No telling where you'll be," she added under her breath.
Closing her eyes, Gabrielle concentrated on Mt. Olympus, and then flickered away in a shower of golden sparks with silver trails.
After a few moments, Xena went back to her sword. Although she wanted Gabrielle to think she was unconcerned, Xena kept glancing around, looking for her. Xena had put away her sword and was starting to polish her Chakram when Gabrielle flashed back in.
"Took you long enough," Xena said. "Get lost, did you?"
"No. Well, yes. No, not really," she replied.
"Gabrielle, Goddess of Indecision," Xena said sarcastically.
"I didn't get lost. Well, not until I got there."
"So you managed to find Mt. Olympus?"
"As a matter of fact, I did. I just kind of got lost walking around. Xena, that is a BIG place. There are halls and stairs going EVERYWHERE! But since I know you have a better sense of direction than I do, I decided to come back for you."
"See any sign of Ares or Aphrodite?"
"I didn't see signs of ANYONE. It looked so deserted, and lonely. It was kind of spooky."
"Yeah, well, I suppose it would be. It's been a while since all the gods died. I don't think Aphrodite, and especially Ares much go in for housekeeping. Let's get things here stowed away and I guess we'll go have a look."
"What about Argo? Are we going to take her too?"
"No. I think a little free time will do her good. She needs to run free once in a while."
"So, how do we do this?" Xena asked. "Do we hold hands, or hug, or what?"
"I guess holding hands should be enough, but let's stand close together just to make sure."
The two women faced each other, clasped their hands together and moved within a hand's width of each other. Gabrielle gave Xena a reassuring smile, concentrated on the Great Hall and they both flashed out, leaving gold, silver, and dark red sparks behind.
"You're right," Xena said to Gabrielle as they walked around the Great Hall of Zeus. "Gloomy, dark, abandoned. This is definitely a depressing place. No wonder nobody's here. I think I'm ready to go, myself."
"Don't you think we should at least look around some, just to see if we can find Ares' and Aphrodite's Halls? They might be there. Or we'd know if they do come back here once in a while."
"Well, I can tell you right now, Ares isn't here."
"How do you do that? You've never said." Gabrielle asked.
"I don't know how I do it. It's like . . . I don't know. I can't explain it. How do you know you can throw fireballs? I just 'feel' him, somehow."
Gabrielle started to make obvious wisecrack, but decided not to. Instead she asked, "What about Aphrodite? Have you ever 'felt' her?"
"No. Only Ares. But what about you? You're a goddess now. Gods can sense each other. Or they could when they were alive. Can't you tell if anyone's around?"
Gabrielle closed her eyes, concentrating. After a few minutes, she opened her eyes. "I can sense something. I can tell you're here, but neither one of them. But I know where their Halls are."
And without thinking, she took Xena's hand and with a flash they were in the Great Hall of Ares.
"Next time, how about a little warning?" Xena said, surprised and irritated.
"Sorry, but I wanted to get us here while I still had the, uh, whatever, feeling, I guess."
Looking around at all the swords, spears, battle-axes, maces, daggers and shields mounted on the walls, it was evident it was Ares, all right.
"From the dust, I'd say it's been a while since he was here." Xena commented as she swept a clean trail across a dusty tabletop with her fingers. "Five, six months, maybe.'
"We could clean it up for him." Gabrielle volunteered.
"Why would we want to do that?" Xena asked, perplexed at her friend's obvious ludicrous suggestion.
"Why not? It would sure throw him for a loop, trying to figure out who did it."
"He'd just guess it was Aphrodite, trying to drop a few hints about his lousy housekeeping."
"I suppose so. Do you want to see Aphrodite's Great Hall?"
"Might as well. Theres nothing to keep us here."
Just as Gabrielle reached out for Xena's hand, there was bright blue flash of light and a shower of sparks. And in the midst of it, Ares appeared, sword in hand, ready to do battle with whoever had violated the sanctity of his residence.
"Xena?" Ares exclaimed, confused. "Gabrielle? How did you two get here? Aphrodite? Are you here?"
"It's just us." Xena said, "we just dropped by to say hello."
"I doubt that!" he answered. "What are you doing here? HOW did you get here?"
"Gabrielle brought us here." And answering his questioning look, she added, "In case you haven't heard, Gabrielle is a goddess now. She can do all the things you Olympians can do, those of you who are still alive."
"Gabrielle, a goddess? How? When?"
"I gave a drink of water to a dying old woman, who turned out to be a sorceress. And in return, she gave me a goblet of wine. At least, that's what I thought it was. But it turned out the wine contained the Essence of Ambrosia. So, here I am.'
"Yeah," Xena interrupted, "Gabrielle, the Goddess of Whatever."
"Now that I think about it, I have been hearing rumors of a strange god running around, doing good. Made me kind of uncomfortable. But I never dreamed it would be you. So, what is your title again, Goddess of Whatever?"
"Don't listen to Xena, she's just being her usual sarcastic self. Actually, we were looking for Aphrodite. And Mt. Olympus was the only place I could think of to look."
"Why do you want her when you could have me?"
Xena interrupted again, "Gabrielle is having a little trouble trying to decide just what kind of goddess she wants to be. And we thought that Aphrodite might be able to help her sort things out."
"Oh, I see." Ares said. "You're looking to specialize, to focus your talents into one major area of expertise."
"Exactly! I want to be able to concentrate on doing good and helping people. But I don't know what title would suit me best."
"She wants to know what to put over the doors of her temples."
"NO, Xena, I DO NOT want any temples. How many times do I have to tell you?"
"But you've GOT to have temples." Ares told her. "And the more of them there are, the better it is."
"How do you figure?" Gabrielle asked.
"The more temples you have, the more offerings you get. The more offerings you get, the more help people expect. The more help they expect, the less they do for themselves. The less they do, the lazier they get. The lazier they get, the easier it is for my followers to sack and pillage. And then, YOU get to come around and patch things up for them. And then -- more offerings. See how it works? Win, win, win all the way around!"
"That has got to be one of the sickest things I have EVER heard of in my entire life!" Gabrielle spat at him, disgusted.
"What did you expect from the God of War?" Xena asked her.
"See?" Gabrielle continued her tirade at Ares. "That is why we wanted to see Aphrodite! At least she . . . But YOU!" Gabrielle took a calming breath, then continued. "Xena, I think it's time we left. Ares showed up right after we got here, so maybe Aphrodite will know we're in her Great Hall and will do the same."
"Suit yourself," Ares snarled. "I've got better things to do than squabble with some unskilled, wannabe goddess. I'm outta here!" And with a blue flash he was gone, his last words echoing off the walls: "AND DON'T TOUCH ANYTHING!"
Mpments later Xena and Gabrielle were in the Great Hall of Love. "Looks like she hasn't been here for a while, either," Xena said.
Looking around at the statues of men and women in various poses of lovemaking, Gabrielle felt herself starting to blush, just a little.
"Well," she said, trying to cover her growing embarrassment, "At least I can do is get rid of the dust."
She then pointed at the floor and started moving her hand in a circular motion. As she did, a pale green whirlwind began sucking in the dust and dirt and debris. As soon as the Hall was spotless, the minor twister began to grow smaller and smaller until it disappeared.
"So what happened to the dirt?" Xena asked her.
"I just sent it to Ares' Hall. He'll never notice."
Just then, Aphrodite appeared. "Okay! Just who are you and how . . . Gabrielle! And Xena! It's so good to see you!"
Aphrodite and Gabrielle crossed the room to each other and embraced. Seconds later Aphrodite backed away with her hands on Gabrielle's shoulders.
"It's you!" she exclaimed. "So you're the new goddess on the block I've been hearing about. Oh! I am SO glad it's you! You don't know how happy this makes me. We can have such fun! But look at you, those clothes. Ugh! A goddess can't be seen running around dressed like some lowly peasant!"
And with a quick twist of the wrist Gabrielle was wearing a pastel blue, full length, multi-layered, diaphanous formal gown, beaded with blue diamonds. Her hair was twisted up and entwined with strands of pure silver. On her feet were golden sandals. Ruby earrings, emerald bracelets and a necklace made of the white and blue diamonds completed the adornment.
"There! That's better. Now, where was I? Oh yes. Now that you're here, we must find you one of the Great Halls you call your own. There are so many empty ones now, I guess you can take you pick. A party! We must have party to celebrate the newest goddess on Mt. Olympus. But who would we invite? We could ask the Norse gods, but they're so rude, and vulgar. I don't really know the Egyptian gods . . . ."
As Aphrodite went on and on, Gabrielle tried time and again, unsuccessfully, to interrupt. Seeing her distress, Xena finally shouted at Aphrodite. "HEY! Anything to eat around here?"
Momentarily distracted, Aphrodite looked around, and seeing nothing, waved at a table and it was piled high with fresh fruits, bread and cheese, and flagons of sweet wine.
Before she could begin again, Gabrielle said, "Aphrodite! Stop! Please. I don't think you understand why I'm here. I didn't come here to live. I came for some advice."
"Well, sure, Honey. What can I do for you?"
"First of all, I'm sure I look more beautiful now than I have ever looked in my entire life, or ever will again. And I'm really grateful for them, but these clothes aren't me. Secondly, I don't intend to live up here. I want to be a goddess of the people. I want to be down THERE, helping wherever and whenever I can to relieve the suffering and the misery I see every day."
"Gosh, Gabrielle, I do that. I let people fall in love and get married and have affairs, and I'm content to live up here."
"We could tell by all the Love Dust you scattered around," Xena said, with pineapple juice dripping off her chin.
"Okay. So I'm not up here very much. But that's because it's so lonely! But Gabrielle, with you up here, we could really liven up the place."
"Aphrodite, I guess it's because I wasn't born a goddess, but I don't want to live up here, I want to be down THERE. Those are MY people. And I just couldn't do them justice if I was stuck at the top of a mountain. Can't you understand that? Your home is way up here; mine is way down there."
Feeling a little rejected and disheartened, Aphrodite finally realized what Gabrielle was telling her. "Okay, if that's the way you want it. So what advice do you want from me?"
"How...? I mean, I don't... That is...."
"She wants to know what kind of goddess she is. She wants a title of some kind. So she'll know what kind of temple she needs," Xena interrupted, spitting out a peach pit.
"That's it, basically. Except for the part about wanting a temple! I mean, you're the Goddess of Love. Ares is the God of War. All of you have, had, titles. You all specialized. But me, I don't know what I'm supposed to be. What do I tell people when they ask me who I am?"
"Golly, that's a toughie. When we were born, we -- just knew what we were destined to do. By the way, how DID you become a goddess?"
After Gabrielle had explained about the spiked wine, Aphrodite said, "I don't know what to tell you. I wish I did, but I guess even we gods have our limitations. I suppose this means you want your old clothes back, huh?"
"Yes. As beautiful as these are. . . ."
And with another wave, Gabrielle was once again wearing her own, ordinary clothes.
"One other thing," Gabrielle said as the thought came to her. "Why is it that every time I use one of my powers, a different color appears?"
"Like what?"
"Well, when I made the dust here disappear in a small tornado, it was pale green. And when I saved a village from a stampede, a yellow curtain dug up a trench. And when I had the dirt go back into the trench, it was with a pink mist or something."
"Show me," Aphrodite said, perplexed.
Gabrielle looked around and then pointed her hand at the food-laden table and a bluish-green vapor left her fingers, went under the table and it was lifted off the floor. Then as the vapor dissipated, the table slowly settled back down.
Gabrielle looked questioningly at Aphrodite.
"Honey, I don't think I've ever seen anything quite like that before," Aphrodite said, impressed. "I don't know what to tell you, Gabrielle. You've got powers, but they're not the powers of the Olympic gods. Are you immortal?"
"I don't know. I never thought about THAT. How would I know?"
"You could let Xena stab you with her sword."
"Don't think that'll ever happen," Xena said, biting into a crisp, tart, red apple.
"How about just a little cut? If it hurts or she bleeds then we'll know. I can always heal her up."
"You cut her," Xena said, tossing Aphrodite her breast dagger, with bits of orange pulp clinging to it.
"I can't. I'm the Goddess of Love. That definitely would NOT be an Act of Love!"
"What if I try to cut myself?" Gabrielle asked.
"That should work. A cut is a cut, I suppose."
Taking the razor sharp knife from Aphrodite, Gabrielle lay the dagger on the palm of her hand.
"I wouldn't do it there," Xena advised. "If Aphrodite doesn't heal it up, you'll be using only one hand for a couple of months."
Nodding her head, Gabrielle moved the knife to her forearm, halfway between her wrist and elbow. Then suddenly she drew the edge hard across her skin. The knife sliced to the bone and then out, but there was no cut and no blood and no pain. Smiling up at them both, Gabrielle said with relief, "Well, I guess that answers that."
"Not quite," said another voice. Looking around the three of them saw Ares had appeared. "Just because you can't be injured doesn't mean you can't die."
"Ever the optimist. That's my brother," Aphrodite said.
"Better to know now, than to find out when it's too late."
"So just what do you propose we do? Actually kill her? Or try to?"
"How about None of the Above," Gabrielle answered them. "I think I'll just take my chances, just like I always have. I know if it comes down to it, Xena will always be there for me."
"Damn straight," Was Xena's only comment as she tossed a couple grapes into the air, catching them in her mouth.
"I guess we should go, but before we do," Gabrielle continued. "Do either of you know anyone, or any god, or sorcerer, who can tell me exactly what I am?"
"Sorry, Honey," Aphrodite said, shaking her head sadly. "I really don't. Ares?" As she looked over at him.
"Nope. Zeus might have known something, but Hercules took care of that. I still can't believe he killed our father just to save Xena's baby."
"Don't start up with that again," warned Xena, turning up a silver goblet of the sweet wine.
"I think it's time we left," Gabrielle said, not wanting things to get ugly. "Thanks for trying anyway, Aphrodite. It was really good to see you again."
"Yeah, and thanks for the great food," Xena added, cutting off a chunk of the cheese, for later.
"You're both welcome. And Gabrielle, anytime you want to hang out you know how to get in touch with me. Anytime. Oh, and thanks for tidying up the place for me. Now I have to go and undo a few little problems my dear brother created."
The two goddesses embraced once again, and then Aphrodite flashed out.
"I'll be going, too. Can't let her ruin all my good work," Ares said. "I assume you know the way out," he said to Gabrielle, and he also flashed out.
"Well, I'm ready if you are," Xena said, picking up a loaf of bread to go with the cheese.
Gabrielle looked around once more and sighed, wondering what it would be like to live as a goddess on Mt. Olympus, and almost wishing. . . .
Almost.