Disclaimer: See Part 1
Chapter Fifteen
That didn't go exactly to plan, Alexandria thought to herself with a sigh as the door closed behind Gabrielle. She sat down heavily on the edge of the desk, running her fingers through her short hair as she gazed over to where Xena was standing. The dark haired woman looked like she'd been sentenced to an eternity in Tartarus as her eyes welled up with tears. Despite her dislike for the woman, she felt her heart ache for her.
"It'll work out, Xena," Alexandria said softly, causing Xena to glance over at her with pain filled eyes. "She loves you. She'll come around, you'll see."
"And what if she doesn't?" Xena replied, her voice trembling. "What if she decides I'm a heartless monster and wants nothing to do with me?"
"She won't," Alexandria reassured her. "You've changed, she knows that. You're not that cruel warlord anymore."
"Aren't I?" Xena spat bitterly. "Because I broke her heart and left her here alone. That makes me pretty cruel and heartless."
"You did it for the Greater Good, Xena," the red headed warrior sighed, standing up and walking towards her ex lover. "Look, I'll go talk to her, okay? She might kill me but she might listen too."
Alexandria reached out and gently squeezed Xena's shoulder, giving her a small smile which was returned gratefully. With another small squeeze and a loud sigh, Alexandria departed from the hut and started her search for the Amazon Queen.
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Her arms and legs stung with scratches as she pushed her way through the thick forest towards her destination. Her head was a mess, filled with horrible images and thoughts of the two women she'd left behind in her hut. She'd been lied to by two of the people she trusted the most and her heart hurt. Underneath all her pain, she could feel her rage and anger bubbling up, threatening to overwhelm her and she let it. Anything was better than feeling the heart wrenching sadness she felt.
With a growl, she pushed her way through the last bush and stumbled into the clearing, closing her eyes as the relaxing sound of cascading water filled her ears, soothing her. She walked towards the edge of the pool, falling to her knee's and splashing the cool water on her face, gasping as chilled her burning hot anger.
How had Alexandria kept something like this from her? After all this time they'd spent together, she'd never once mentioned that she knew Xena, let alone tell her they had been lovers. She's trusted the red headed woman with her whole heart and she'd been betrayed.
Well, actually, she never did lie to you, A voice in the back of her head whispered.
But she never told me the truth either, She thought back angrily.
And Xena was alive but Gabrielle couldn't even stand to look at her soulmate's beautiful face. She couldn't look into those ocean blue eyes without thinking of all the horrible things she did as a warlord. How could she hold her in her arms when the arms that would embrace her in return had held the sword that ended Alexandria's life? The life of someone so kind, so full of love and light and so much like the bard that she claimed to be her soulmate. Could Xena turn on her as easily as she did with Alexandria?
She turned around as she heard soft steps behind her, glancing up at the red headed warrior with a scowl as she entered the clearing. "What do you want?"
"To see how you are," Alexandria replied, sitting down besides the small blonde. "So, how are you?"
"How do you think I am?" Gabrielle spat, narrowing her eyes at the woman. "You lied to me."
"I never lied to you," Alexandria replied with a frown. "Neither did Xena, for that matter. We both just chose to not share certain details of our past."
"Same thing," Gabrielle muttered, angrily pulling large clumps of grass from the dirt in front of her. "You should have told me."
"Yes, I suppose I should have," Alexandria sighed as she gazed up at the waterfall thoughtfully. "But I wasn't ready, and neither was Xena. I mean, with the way you reacted, can you really blame us?"
Gabrielle frowned, feeling her anger start to disappear at the woman's words. She had acted like a child, running away, but she was hurting. And to make it worse, she couldn't understand why Alexandria was sticking up for the woman that killed her.
"Why do you care?" Gabrielle asked, turning to look at the red headed woman. "Why do you care if I go back there and forgive her or not? She hurt you. She killed you!"
"It was a long time ago, and like you have been telling me for the past year, she's changed," Alexandria shrugged. "She's not the person that I loved or the person that broke my heart. And she's definetly not the person that killed me. That's how I could get away with not telling you that I knew her, because I don't, not really anyway. The woman you love is Xena, the Warrior Princess. The woman I love, loved, is Xena, the Destroyer of Nations. They're different people, Gabrielle."
"Why is everything so complicated?" Gabrielle sighed, looking down at Alexandria with a sad smile.
Alexandria threw her head back and laughed, leaning back on her elbows as she looked up at the blonde. "I have been asking myself the same thing for the past year, love."
Gabrielle smiled before lying down on her side next to warrior. She looked into Alexandria's midnight blue eyes before sighing and moving closer, resting her head on the red headed woman's chest. "What happens now?"
"We go back to how things were a few weeks ago, before anything happened between us," Alexandria said softly, lying back completely and wrapping her arms around the smaller woman. "You go back to the village, tell Xena you love her and live happily ever after. You and I will be friends and I'll stay until after the battle is over, then I'll go on my merry way."
"What if I can't do that?" Gabrielle questioned quietly, running her fingers lightly over her companion's stomach. "What if I can't pretend like I don't feel anything for you? I mean, I love Xena. She's my soulmate. But, I love you too."
Alexandria closed her eyes, storing the softly spoken words away in her memories as she gently stroked Gabrielle's hair. "You can do it. You and I will always be friends, Gabrielle. If you ever need me or just want to talk, just send me a message and I'll come find you, wherever you are. I will always love you, but I want you to be happy and you're happy with Xena."
"I have to go back to the village and forgive her now, don't I?" Gabrielle whispered, not wanting the moment to end.
Alexandria smiled, squeezing the woman in her arms gently before relaxing on the ground. "It can wait a few more minutes."
Gabrielle smiled also, closing her eyes and snuggling closer to the woman that helped her through the hardest time in her life. For the first time in the past year, she found herself completely content with her life, in the arms of her bestfriend, with her soulmate waiting for her at home.
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