Disclaimer: See Part 1
Authors Note: Hey, late update once again. The chapters to this story are getting longer and longer as it comes to an end, which will be quite soon. I know you guys want to see more of Xena and Gabrielle and I promise you will. I've been trying to put a bit more of Alexandria and Xena into this for a reason. I need their background and the relationship to be set out in this story because after this one, there will be a sequel. Completely different to this story. A lot darker, with less twists but no less drama. If anything, there will be more drama. I hope you guys enjoy this chapter and continue to email me about this story. If you want to, my email is jacklavigne13@hotmail .com
Chapter Eighteen
It was two days before the battle was supposed to start and the Amazon's we're partying like it would be their last days on Earth. It could be true, Alexandria thought to herself as she surveyed the women around her. Tomorrow, they would make their journey to the edge of the Amazon Nation, where they would wait for King Delvin's army. They were outnumbered, at least two to one, though Alexandria's wasn't worried about that. They had the element of suprise, considering Delvin didn't realise they would be prepared for the attack, knowing of it for months in advance. Plus, the Amazon's had aqquired a secret weapon at Alexandria's expense.
Alexandria's midnight blue eyes roamed across the faces of the women surrounding her until she found the woman in question. Xena stood next to her Queen, arm casually hanging across the bard's shoulder with an easy smile gracing her striking features. Alexandria had to admit that this was the most relaxed she had ever seen the dark haired warrior.
She was certainly never this relaxed with me, Alexandria thought, no longer bitter, just resigned to the fact that she was not meant to be with the Warrior Princess or the Amazon Queen for that matter. It had been hard over the past week, since she had brought Xena back to life. Their silent journey back to the Amazon's had been nothing compared to having to see her everyday in the village though. Everyday seemed to get harder and harder as they were forced to spend more and more time together. She had made a desperate attempt to avoid the warrior, but to no avail. She had been unable to resist kissing her the first day and she was deeply regretting it now. She couldn't stop thinking about how soft the woman's lips were and how much she had missed them. How much she had missed her h-
"Dinar for your thoughts?" A soft voice whispered in the red headed woman's ear, breaking off her train of thought. Thank the Gods, Alexandria thought to herself, shaking her head to rid the images of the dark haired warrior from her mind. She turned to Varia, flashing the woman a brilliant smile before shrugging.
"Just the next couple of days, I guess," Alexandria replied, taking a sip of the strong Amazon ale she held in her hand.
"We're going to win," Varia said confidently. "We have the Battling Bard of Potedeia, Xena, The Warrior Princess and Alexandria, The Angel of Death on our side. How can we possibly lose?"
"The Angel of Death," Alexandria sighed, gazing blankly in front of her as images of her past flashed before her eyes. "I haven't heard that name for a while."
"Wash name hasn't you heard for a whiles?" Alexandria turned to find Eponin standing beside her, leaning against a tree to keep her balance in her intoxicated state.
"Just something from my past," Alexandria chuckled as she observed the drunk woman with amusement, her somber mood disappearing. "You look like you could use a bed, friend."
"Yes, you do, Ep," Varia grinned as she wrapped her hand around Alexandria's arm. "And you, Alexandria, need to dance with me. Now."
Alexandria opened her mouth to protest but decided against it as she let herself be dragged towards the dance floor.
*******
Xena gazed around the village center as the Amazon's around her drunk themselves into oblivion. She smiled as she felt her lover's fingers gently caress her through her leathers and she lightly stroked her partner's hip in return. She caught a flash of dark red hair and watched as Alexandria was dragged by Varia into the large group of Amazon's dancing in the middle of the clearing. Her smile grew as she watched the two women start to dance and Alexandria's face light up in a carefree smile.
Gods , she thought to herself as she observed the red headed warrior. I haven't seen her smile like that since we were kids.
Her smile vanished as she remembered the horrible things she had put Alexandria through in the past. The woman had been such a kind and loving person until Xena had crushed every good emotion Alexandria had. She had destroyed her. She had destroyed their relationship and even worse, their friendship. She had spent the last week thinking of every possible way she could win the woman's companionship back. She missed the woman's friendship more than almost anything. She had been the one person in her past that she could rely on.
Ever since Alexandria had kissed her a few days ago, Xena had been trying to find a way to talk to the woman privately, but to no avail. They were constantly together but never alone. It seemed like everytime it was only the two of them, Alexandria would simply vanish into thin air. She had been more than suprised to find out that Alexandria still had feelings for her, even after everything she'd put the woman through. She knew in her heart that they were not meant to be together. She loved the red headed warrior and she always would. She had been her first love and after Gabrielle, her most loved but she knew Gabrielle was her soulmate. She just wished there was a way to make it easier for Alexandria. She wished she could just find a way to talk to the woman.
She raised an eyebrow, tilting her head to the side as she continued to watch the two women dancing, an idea forming in her mind. She turned to her lover, pressing a soft kiss to the bard's temple before speaking softly. "I'll be back in a minute, love. There's something I have to do."
Gabrielle looked into her lover's pale blue eyes questioningly before giving a small nod and watching as her soulmate strode towards the dance floor. She spied Alexandria in the middle of the grinding bodies and raised an eyebrow of her own. She had seen how distressed her partner had been living in the village with Alexandria and knowing the woman wanted nothing to do with her. She had hoped that Alexandria would give Xena another chance but she was proved wrong as the red headed warrior continued to avoid Xena at all costs. She had managed to talk to Alexandria herself after they had sparred together early this morning.
"Alexandria," Gabrielle spoke as she wiped a light sheen on sweat from her forehead. "Have you spoken to Xena yet?"
Alexandria looked up at her sharply, her eyes flashing with alarm at the bard's question. "Why? What has she told you?"
"Nothing, actually. I just noticed that you seemed to be avoiding her."
Alexandria relaxed, running her fingers through her short hair as she gazed at the bard. "I'm not avoiding her."
"Yes, you are," Gabrielle said softly, reaching out and resting a hand on her companion's shoulder. "I know that she hurt you, Alex, and I understand why you don't want to be around her. But she has changed and she really cares about you. We spoke about you last night, about how you and I met and how you and Xena travelled together. She's really missed you all these years. She said that you were the best friend she ever had, other than myself."
Alexandria looked down at the ground before looking up at the bard with a thoughtful expression on her face. She closed her eyes before shaking her head and giving the bard a small smile.
"I know she's changed, Gabrielle. I can see how much everytime she looks at you. For so long, I wished she would look at me that way and she never did. My avoiding her has nothing to do with my feelings for her. I can't deny that I love her and you know that. And you know that I would never do anything to ruin your relationship with her. I can see that you are meant to be together and I respect that. I'm happy for you both. But honestly, I just can't stand to be around her. Everytime I do, I feel empty. It's like I don't feel good enough to stand in the light that radiates from her now. I feel bad because I could never give her that, no matter how much I tried. I feel like I failed her and myself. And I can't continue to live feeling like that, so I can't be around her. Do you understand?"
Gabrielle nodded as she smiled sadly at the red headed woman, giving Alexandria's shoulder a gentle squeeze. "Let's go get some breakfast, yeah?"
Gabrielle didn't feel jealous of Alexandria's feeling's towards her soulmate. She could never feel anything but gratitude for the woman for bringing Xena back to her. And bringing Gabrielle back to herself a year ago in Egypt. Alexandria was her bestfriend and she always would be a part of her, she just wished that the woman could work things out with Xena. She sighed softly, knowing what her lover would hear when she spoke to the redhead before settling down to watch the scene play out.
Xena pushed through the women, finally reaching her destination behind Alexandria. She caught Varia's eye's over the red headed woman's shoulder and pleaded with her pale blue orbs for some privacy. The Amazon seemed to have an internal struggle for a moment before giving a slight nod and turning away, leaving a very confused Alexandria behind her. Xena lightly rested her hands on the woman's hips, causing the woman to start and quickly turn around, midnight blue eyes meeting ocean blue in shock.
"What are you doing?" Alexandria hissed as she pushed Xena's hands from her hips.
"Dancing and trying to talk to you," Xena replied as she swayed her hips in time to the music.
"Do you have to talk to me right now ?" The red headed woman asked in frustration.
"Yes, Alexandria please," Xena voice took on a pleading note as she gazed into her ex lover's eyes. "I can't begin to apologise for everything I did to you, I know that, but I want you in my life. I miss talking to you. I miss fishing with you. I miss sparing with you. I miss our friendship. I miss you."
"Xena," Alexandria whispered, averting her eyes as she was no longer able to hold the warrior's intense gaze. "Now isn't the time to talk about this."
"Now is the only time to talk about this, Alexandria. Everytime I try to talk to you, you run away. And tomorrow, we're leaving here to go into a battle. There's too many things going on right now for us to talk at any other time and I need to know if there's a chance. Any chance that you and I could be friends after all of this is over."
"Xena, I can't," Alexandria replied, suddenly feeling very claustrophobic in the crowd of Amazon's. She closed her eyes, taking a deep breath to relax before continuing. "I can't be your friend, Xena. I love you, I really do, but I can't."
"Why not?"
"Because," Alexandria whispered fiercly. "It hurts too much. It hurts knowing that I couldn't be the one for you. It hurts knowing that I was never good enough. It's hard for me to see you with someone else and loving her so much that the happiness practically seeps for your skin. I'm not angry or jealous, it just hurts. I'm sorry, Xena."
Xena watched sadly, her heart aching in her chest as once again Alexandria turned and walked away from her, leaving her in a crowd of people and yet feeling utterly alone.#