Summary: Gabrielle is hurt over the relationship between Xena and Marc Antony, and can't stand to be around her lover any longer. Will she leave Xena forever, or will Xena find a way to win her back?

Disclaimer: See Part 1

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Enjoy the show! Or so to speak.

I Will Be


Mikaeli Hooper


Part Six


She think I've fallen asleep, but I haven't. I lay here, my skin on fire, burning hottest where her hand rests on my hip. How can I possibly sleep while I'm this close to her? How can I close my eyes to dream when what I've been dreaming of for moons lies before me. My hand covers hers, and I want to squeeze it before running it over my body until it reaches where I want it so desperately. Every burning nerve in my being is screaming for me to let her have me, to be taken by her just one more time. But I can't. My heart is still hurting and my mind is always replaying the images of her with him. The kisses, the touches, the looks they shared. The pain is never ending.

And now the urge to take her is overwhelming. To show her what she gave up for a few nights of bliss with a man. I want her to feel me inside of her, touching her so deeply that she cries from how complete only I can make her feel. I want her to know that I was more deserving of her love, of her passion. I want her to remember how it feels to be touched and loved by me.

So I can take it away again, like she did to me.

It is so unlike me to be thinking these things, to want to hurt the one I love most, deliberately. But she hurt me a million times, and I want her to know the pain she has caused me over the years. I want her to know what it feels like to have your heart ripped out of your chest and crushed by the one you trust the most. I want her to know what it feels like to not be enough, to not be good enough.

I wrap my arms around our daughter and slowly get up from the bed. I can feel her eyes on me as I make my way across the room to lay Eve down in her cot. I wrap the blankets tightly around her tiny body, leaning down and giving her a soft kiss on her forehead before turning around and locking eyes with my ex lover.

She could always melt me with those baby blues, my insides trembling with just a glance from her, but not tonight. Straightening my shoulders, I walk towards the bed, my hips swaying seductively as I continue to hold eye contact with her. Her confusion is written all over her face, but her eyes burn with desire as they roam over my toned body. I crawl from the end of the bed, dragging my hand up her thigh before straddling her hips. Staring down at her, I watch as her hands twitch and her pale blue eyes flicker with uncertainty and I know she's wondering what I'm doing. To be honest, I'm wondering the same thing.

More confidently than I feel, I reach down and pull her sleeping shirt up to expose her perfect, tanned skin. She leans up slightly as I pull the material over her head before she drops back down, staring up at me with an expression I've never seen before. A mixture of so many emotions that she so rarely displays: Excitement, joy, uncertainty, sadness, desire and most of all, fear. I know she wants me and my faked confidence becomes real.

I let my gaze wander over her body, and I feel myself become wet almost instantly. Running my hands over her strong shoulders and down her toned arms, I smile as I feel her muscles spasm under my fingers. Her body still amazes me with its magnificence: her toned abdomen, curvacious hips, perfect full breasts.

"Gabrielle," she breathes, and I reluctantly tear my eyes from her body to return her gaze. "What are you doing?"

I lightly trail my fingers down the valley between her breasts, never breaking eye contact. "What does it look like I'm doing? Do you want me to stop?"

I can feel her heart hammering in her chest, fluttering with every caress of my hands, and for the first time in moons I feel alive. Feeling her reactions to my touch, I feel so powerful, like I could do anything, be anything, have anything. And right now, I want her.

Her strong hands reach up and slender fingers tangle in my short blonde locks, and I feel her pull me down. When our lips are so close our breath mingles, I resist her, pulling back slightly and covering her lips with my fingers, shaking my head before leaning down and trailing kisses along her neck. I cannot kiss her lips, it's too intimate for me, and I fear I will break down and give in to her if I do.

I start to grind against her unconciously as I crawl down her body to blow gently over one of her sensitive nipples before taking it into my mouth. She gasps in shock and pleasure as I flick my tongue over the rock hard pebble, arching her back as I bite it gently. The noises she's making are driving me crazy, and I tug on the rose coloured flesh, whimpering as she grips my hair tighter. The pain is so pleasurable, and it only makes me want her even more.

I wanted to take this slowly, to drag out my torture, but with every passing second I can feel my control slipping. Trailing my hand down her smooth stomach, I reach the place I want to touch the most. Dragging my fingers through the dark hair covering her center, I look up into her eyes, dark with lust and I smile seductively.

"Do you want me, Xena?" I whisper, my voice several octaves lower than normal. I run my index finger slowly over her need, moaning softly at the amount of wetness I feel. "Do you want me to fuck you? Do you want me inside of you? Tell me."

She whimpers, throwing her head back as she pushes her hips up against my hand, trying to take me inside of her. I dip my finger into her for a moment before withdrawing it and biting my lip as she growls in frustration. "Tell me that you want me, Xena."

"Yes," She moans, squeezing her eyes shut. "Fuck yes, please, Gabrielle. I want you. I need you."

"I can't hear you, love," I say, leaning down and gently biting her neck as I position two fingers at her entrance, my thumb slowly rubbing her aching clit.

"Oh Gods, Gabrielle! Fuck me, please. I want you. I want you so much," she sobs, her desire overwhelming her as she pushed her hips up again and crying out when my fingers slide inside of her.

I can't stop the shudder that runs through my body as I feel myself surrounded by her. Her inner walls clench around my fingers, pulling me deeper and any self control I had left dissapeared. Pulling back from where my head resting against her shoulder, I crush my lips against hers, moaning into her mouth at the taste of her. I start a slow rhythm with my fingers as our tongues dance together, rediscovering one another.

She meets my every thrust, pulling me in deeper and harder as she moans continously into my mouth. I add another finger and I know she's close to the edge as she tighens around me. I start to pump my fingers into her faster, running my thumb over her clit rapidly. I rip my lips from hers, looking down into her passion filled eyes, growling when she closes them.

"Look at me, Xena," I whisper to her fiercly. "I want you to look at me when you come. Look at who makes you feel this way. I do. Only me."

I moan as I feel her blunt fingernails dig into my back, her body tense and her back arch, and she opens her eyes, her gaze burning right into my soul. I can see she's holding back and I know she is fighting desperately to keep quiet so as not to wake our daughter. I want so badly to hear her scream my name, to know that it is me she's thinking of. I continue to fuck her as she clenches tightly around my fingers, dragging out every second of her orgasm as she gazes up at me. She's never looked as beautiful as she does right now: lips parted, cheeks flushed, hair damp with sweat.

And as I look down at her, her pale eyes so full of love, my want to cause this woman pain vanishes. I feel her shudder with the last waves of pleasure from her orgasm and all the walls I've been building the past few moons come tumbling down in seconds. Despite everything that had happened, I loved the woman underneath me. I felt my heart clench in my chest, tearing a strangled sob from my lips as my emotions cascaded over me. I had kept up this facade for so long now, trying to be as numb as possible to avoid the feelings of hurt and loneliness since I'd left her in our camp all those months ago. And then she spoke four words to me, and the last barrier fell.

"I love you, Gabrielle," she breathed.

My emotions overwhelmed me and I burst into tears, crying harder when she pulled me into her embrace and held me tightly, stroking my hair as she whispered how sorry she was into my ear.

"I love you," I sobbed, clinging to her as if my life depended on it, which I'm now convinced it does. "I love you, Xena."


To Be Continued In Part Seven


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