Chapter VIII
Leigh let her foot off the brake and turned right at the stoplight. She was driving her Jeep, having dropped off her rig at a body shop on the outskirts of Seattle. From there a taxi took them to the storage unit where she kept her beloved first automobile and a few odds and ends that she’d saved from her and her dad’s house before he died.
They’d spent all yesterday on the road from Jackson and stayed the night just a few miles outside the city. Leigh was having a wonderful time and by the nearly permanent smile affixed on RJ’s face, she was fairly certain her undeniably sweet companion felt the same way.
She parked the Jeep as close to the mall entrance as she could. As usual, it was just far enough away to be annoying, but just close enough so that she really couldn’t bitch. At least not too much.
RJ considered her pants, which had been torn at the calf. "Two pair of trousers. It’s hard to believe that I ruined two pairs in less than a day."
Leigh bit the inside of her cheek to keep from laughing. It really wasn’t funny, and she did feel somewhat responsible for RJ ripping her second pair. If they hadn’t been roughhousing in the motel room before they left this morning, RJ wouldn’t have gotten them caught on the metal bed frame. "You’re just lucky, I guess."
RJ lifted a brow and shook her finger in Leigh’s direction. "It’s all your fault, you evil little minx. If you hadn’t been teasing me so, this never would have happened."
Leigh raised her own eyebrow in response. "You’re lucky I let you get dressed at all," she said flatly, eyes twinkling. "This morning … and the morning before ..." She sighed, letting the words trail off. RJ didn’t need to be reminded of the special time that they’d spent holed up in their motel rooms simply indulging in each other.
"Were incredible," RJ murmured as she looked out at the huge building, her bright green eyes widening just a bit. She leaned forward in her seat, trying not to think about the belt strapping her in. "What’s this, then?"
Leigh looked at RJ as though she was an alien. "What do you think it is? It’s a mall, of course." She shut off the ignition.
RJ realized she was letting her lack of knowledge about the outside world show entirely too much. She was just so comfortable with Leigh that it was easy to forget she was supposed to know these things and that she had to pretend. "Right." She thought frantically. "We just don’t have anything this," she waved her hands aimlessly, "large in Glory." RJ cleared her throat, her gaze sliding sideways as she watched Leigh from the corner of her eye.
Leigh fumbled with the handle of the Jeep door, needing to give it a firm push before it would open. RJ exited her side, stretching her legs as they both stepped out into the cool spring air.
RJ breathed a sigh of relief as the fresh breeze blew gently across her skin, waking up her nerve endings. While her time with Leigh had so far exceeded her fondest hopes, she wasn’t one to be cooped up for long periods of time, and she was looking forward to putting stakes here in Seattle for a few days.
Leigh eyed the building speculatively, considering RJ’s earlier comment. It wasn’t a very large mall. Then again, Glory wasn’t much of a town from what she could gather. Poor RJ. Everything they did seemed to be a new experience for her. Well, not everything, she reminded herself with a mental chuckle. Thank goodness.
"I’m sure we’ll find something for you here, Irish. What’s your pleasure?" Leigh dragged her appreciative gaze down RJ’s body. The long tear in RJ’s pants had come mid-calf and Leigh, with the help of a sharp pair of scissors, had turned the pants into a pair of shorts. Very short shorts. Her smile shifted into a slight leer. "Or ... you could always stay in those for the week. I’m certainly not complaining."
"Umm … somehow I think that if I don’t get me some new trousers, I won’t be seeing much of the outside of our hotel room. Not that I’m complaining." RJ chuckled softly. "As a matter of fact, you look like you’re ready to baste me in something and start nibbling right now."
Leigh burst into surprised laughter. How can someone I barely know understand me so well? "Okay." She nodded, a self-deprecating look stealing across her face. "You’re right. Some new pants are in order." Though I reserve the right to baste you in something and nibble it off later. "I think we can manage that in a reasonable amount of time, too."
Leigh stepped aside as an exhausted man who was carrying an armload of packages shuffled past her. "Ooo … I know you butch types don’t appreciate shopping." She herself didn’t much care for it, unless, that is, she was buying for someone else. With that thought, her face broke into a broad, mischievous smile. "Let me buy you an outfit or two, RJ." It wasn’t really a question. "I just got paid and I know you couldn’t have brought much with you in that tiny duffel bag." I’m taking you out tonight, gorgeous. I can tell being in that truck was starting to make you a little twitchy.
"Oh, no." RJ tried not to sound insulted. "I’m in fine shape for money and this week I want you to relax and enjoy yourself," she insisted. "Let me take care of myself and you as well. I want to treat you this week, Leigh."
RJ reached over and took the trucker’s hand in her own, not caring that they were in public. People were bound to be more accepting nowadays than they had been in her time. "I want you to remember our time together as being very special." She tilted her head toward the mall, causing dark, wavy bangs to fall down across her forehead and scatter into her eyes. "You can help me pick out the clothes. I’ve never been any good at that at all. Left to my own devices, I always look like a ragamuffin."
Leigh leaned forward and affectionately smoothed the hair away from RJ’s face, letting her hand linger on RJ’s cheek. "You look beautiful." RJ’s face turned a lovely shade of rose, and Leigh felt a sudden rush of fondness for the lanky woman. It came on so quick and fierce that was actually unsettling. Pulling her hand away slowly, she pushed those thoughts aside for later consideration. Much later.
The blonde woman pursed her lips. "Okay. How ‘bout this? I’ll let you buy me something, but only if I can buy you something in return." She squeezed RJ’s hand. No woman had ever taken her hand in public before and much to her surprise, she thoroughly loved it. She felt comforted and secure with RJ’s strong fingers wrapped around hers. She sighed. The rest of the world could just drop dead. "Deal?"
"Sounds fair." RJ paused and considered the ‘mall’ they were approaching, which she assumed housed the world’s most enormous store. "So what do you think I’d look good in?" She stopped just long enough to make sure she could get the outer door open for Leigh, holding it with one foot as she reached for the second inner door. "I’m sure things have changed a bit since the last time I did any real shopping." Now that’s an understatement. What’s it been? Fifty, nearly sixty years? And look at these funny clothes! It’s more than a shame that women aren’t wearing dresses anymore. I’ve seen nary a one since Glory!
"RJ, you look fabulous in absolutely nothing." Leigh bumped her hips with brunette. "So I’m sure clothes won’t be a problem." She glanced over at her friend, suddenly realizing that she was serious. Does she think I’d dress her in a skintight mini-skirt? Oooo … a miniskirt …
"Leigh?"
Nothing.
"Lass?" A little louder.
"Yeah?" Leigh jerked her head sideways. "Sorry." She shook her head a little as she stopped in front of a large rectangular sign that listed the different stores and showed their locations on a basically useless map. "Let’s go with something similar to what got wrecked. I want you to be happy. And you looked good enough to eat." Still do. She groaned inwardly. God, what is up with me?
"As I seem to recall, you did just that. More than once!" RJ held her tongue for a split second before bursting into laughter at the sight of Leigh’s gaping mouth. Oops. Weren’t expecting that, I see. But to her credit, she had at least tried not to laugh outright at her friend. "So yeah. Let’s go with something similar."
This time it was Leigh’s turn to blush. "And here I thought I was incorrigible."
RJ leaned toward the smaller woman to whisper in her ear, "You know damn good and well that I’m not one for holding back when it comes to what I’m thinking." Her voice went very serious. "Life’s far too short for that, Leigh." She kissed a spot alongside Leigh’s ear and made a conscious effort to lighten her tone. "And you’re just so damned cute when you blush like that."
Leigh pulled away and stuck out her tongue at RJ, but didn’t let go of her hand. "Just for that, we get to pick out your clothes first." She pointed to a store that the map showed was in the middle of the mall and on the second floor. "This is where I want to start. They have a lot of great unisex clothes in colors I can actually stand." She appraised RJ with mock-seriousness. "You really don’t look like a lime green, chartreuse, or tangerine sort of girl to me."
"That’s good," RJ allowed hesitantly. I think.
"I just can’t stand that horrible 70s retro-shit." Leigh gave an involuntary shiver as they made their way toward the escalators.
RJ’s eyebrows drew tightly together as Leigh expertly guided them around the people, plants and strollers. "Have you been here before?"
"Nope."
"How can that be? You walk around like you know exactly where you’re going. And I know that pitiful excuse for a map isn’t the reason."
Leigh shrugged. "Isn’t one mall pretty much like the other? Food court on the lower level, escalators and elevators in the middle, bathrooms at the ends?"
"If you say so." There is more than one of these places?
They passed store after store until RJ exclaimed in disbelief, "All these stores are in this one building!"
"I should hope so," Leigh said, fully believing RJ was teasing her. "I’m not moving the Jeep unless I have to."
RJ looked a little dazed. Who could have imagined that? Wait until I tell Mavis. She’ll collapse on the spot! "I’d lose my mother in this place, never to see her again!"
Leigh laughed. "She wouldn’t be the first person to succumb to mall madness, lemme tell you."
RJ followed her companion to the steps but hesitated when she saw that they were moving. She paused for just a second, having only ridden on one once when she was a child. A few seconds later, when she looked up, she found herself watching Leigh growing smaller and smaller.
Leigh turned her head to open her mouth and say something to RJ when she noticed she was gone. She looked down past several people and spied RJ at the bottom of the steps, looking up at her in confusion. Leigh lifted her hands in question and silently mouthed, "What happened?"
"Right." RJ mumbled, waving at Leigh. Get a grip, woman. Or Leigh’s gonna think you’ve gone ‘round the bend. She took the steps two at a time, politely making her way past the people between her and Leigh. She caught up with the trucker just as Leigh reached the second floor. "You know how sometimes you just get a little dizzy from looking at stairs?" RJ said offhandedly, shrugging and smiling, hoping Leigh wouldn’t ask for more of an explanation.
"Not really," Leigh said slowly. Her eyes filled with concern and she carefully examined RJ’s face. "You’re not going to be sick again, are you?"
"No!" Sweet Jesus, I’m a pilot and now she thinks I’m going to puke on the escalators? Okay, I was the one who brought up being dizzy. But still! she whined. "Well, I umm … never mind." She glanced around her, her eyes drawn to the bright lights and all the stores and kiosks. RJ realized she had far more important things to worry about than looking bad on a moving stairway. "So where are you taking me? Someplace that fits with your naughty disposition, I’m betting."
Leigh let out a relieved breath. RJ seemed fine. As weird as she usually seemed … but at least not about to barf. "Actually, I’m not." She stopped dead in her tracks and wrinkled her nose as she sniffed the air. "Yes!" Leigh suddenly veered to the left, pulling RJ right along with her as she trotted over to a pretzel stand and pulled a ten dollar bill from her jeans pocket. "Can I tempt you with one of these?" A batch of fresh pretzels had just been pulled from the oven and the heavenly smell had Leigh’s eyes rolling back in their sockets.
"You can tempt me with all kinds of things and you know it." RJ looked at the girl behind the counter, who was openly staring at them. "What, haven’t you ever seen two people shopping for clothes before?"
The young girl looked utterly bored as she pulled her chewing gum out of her mouth and then pushed it back in before resuming chewing. "Whatever, Granny. What kind do you and your girlfriend want?"
RJ laughed out loud, looking at Leigh. "Well, what do you know? You’re my girlfriend! Did you know you had signed on for the long haul?"
"That’s news to me. Pretzel girl here must be psychic."
The girl rolled her eyes. Dykes were such bitches. "Do you want a pretzel or not? I’m totally busy." Now she snapped her gum, glancing down her fake black fingernails.
Leigh looked around her. They were the girl’s only customers and another pimply-faced boy was making a fresh batch. She shook her head slowly. "I can see that you’re swamped."
The girl narrowed her eyes and Leigh got on with it. "I’d like a cinnamon and sugar pretzel, please." Leigh’s gaze slid sideways. "And for you, honey buns?"
RJ shook her head. Leigh was nothing but trouble. But luckily, the pilot really enjoyed being in trouble. "When in Rome …" she shrugged, looking around a little more seriously now. "Whatever you choose is fine or I could just eat yours."
Leigh blushed again, causing RJ to clamp her hand over her mouth and the teenaged cashier to snigger. The trucker giggled despite herself and quickly handed over the ten dollar bill, getting back only a few ones for change. "You like doing that, don’t you?" she accused RJ.
"I will admit to getting a certain," she paused and locked eyes with Leigh. Bringing the hand that held the pretzel to her mouth, she took a long slow bite, humming with pleasure before she even started to chew. "… Amount of pleasure from it. Yes."
The girl at the counter said, "You two really need to get a room. And if you’re into movies, like, I know this guy, Freddy, who wants to be a director someday and he’d love to tape you two going at – "
"God." Leigh made a face and quickly began pushing RJ away from the counter.
RJ skidded her feet and turned so she was walking backward facing Leigh. "Wanna make a movie? That young lady seems to know someone who would –"
"Someone who would require us to get extra shots of antibiotics just to be around him." She leaned close to RJ and stood on her tiptoes so she could whisper in her ear. I can’t believe I’m about to say this. "If you really want to make a movie, I’d prefer we do it alone."
RJ nodded before turning around and re-taking Leigh’s hand. "Alone would be good too. I like being alone with you. You get all feisty and sweaty."
Leigh smiled a little bewildered, suddenly wondering if she and RJ were talking about the same thing at all.
RJ began looking around. The sweet-tasting pretzel and Leigh’s hand firmly placed in hers had given her spirits another boost upward, making her feel like a kid on Christmas morning. Full of excitement, her natural instinct to explore began to kick in. Then something caught her eye. She stopped and stared at the scantily clad mannequins in the store window. "Jesus, Mary and Joseph!"
Leigh turned to see what had RJ standing in the middle of the mall with her jaw on the floor. She followed her line of sight and began to cluck her approval. "Victoria’s Secret." She bit her lip and let out a low groan. "If their catalog doesn’t turn you on to women, check for a pulse." She giggled at RJ’s continued open-mouthed stare and used her fingertip to close the now panting orifice. "I’d love to get you in, and then immediately out of, something from that store. But since I don’t think that will happen, you can shop for me there instead."
RJ gripped Leigh’s hand tighter and began pulling her in the direction of their goal. "Let’s go then! I’ll be happy to buy you anything you like from this place."
"No, no, no, no." Leigh shook her head. "You first. I have a feeling we’ll be all day if we start in there. I guess they don’t have one of those in Glory either." Around a bit of pretzel she said, "Are you sure that you’re not really a prisoner who’s been recently released on parole after a hundred-year sentence? You seem like a kid in a candy store," she teased.
RJ reluctantly tore her eyes from the storefront and followed Leigh past another shop, not bothering to respond to Leigh’s comments. They hit a little too close for comfort and with startling clarity RJ realized how lonely Glory had become for her. She stuffed the rest of the pretzel in her mouth and tossed the napkin in a trash bin.
The tall woman winced a bit at the level of music that was playing. But once she adjusted to it, she actually started to enjoy the beat a bit. Glenn Miller it isn’t. But it’s not bad. But she couldn’t get her mind off the store with all the pretty, girly nighties. "We could have had so much fun in the other place, Leigh. I noticed this little black number you would look just wonderful in … then out of." She leered just a little, hoping to earn another blush. She really did enjoy doing that, guessing that not too many people could get that sort of reaction out of Leigh.
Leigh smacked RJ in the belly as they walked. "Not this time, Stretch." She rolled her eyes playfully. "I’m long past blushing about scantily clad women." After passing another few stores Leigh announced that they were ‘here’ and dragged RJ inside. They hadn’t gotten three paces into the store when a prissy sales clerk scampered over to them, appraising each of their outfits with what appeared to be genuine interest.
The tall, rail-thin man was wearing a pair of crisply pressed chinos, an obnoxious lavender-colored cotton shirt, and what RJ was sure were women’s shoes. His head was covered with a sparse patch of white blonde hair . "Hello, ladies," he exclaimed excitedly in a featherlight voice. When he got a good look at RJ he slapped his cheeks with both hands. "Look at those long legs. Aren’t you simply divine!"
"Watch it," RJ warned playfully. She hadn’t seen a man so light in the loafers in years. He was section eight material if ever there was some. "My," she glanced at Leigh and grinned, "girlfriend, here, will kick your butt for talk such as that. I’ll be needing a couple pairs of trousers."
"Ohhh," he squealed, happily playing along with RJ. "Whip me, beat me, teach me how to love. I am so all over that, girlfriend. Whatever it takes to make the little one happy." He winked at down at Leigh, his admiration clear.
RJ crossed her arms across her chest. "You keep that up and I’ll be the one kicking your butt. Just help me find a couple pair of trousers. I have better things to be doing with my time than buying my own clothes. There’s a shop back there," she jerked her thumb over her shoulder, "I need to get her into."
The clerk held up his hand to forestall any further comment. "Victoria’s Secret." He crossed himself and reverently said, "Say no more. I shop there."
"For yourself," Leigh mumbled playfully.
"I’m Alan." The man shifted into professional mode. "I understand you would like some ‘trousers’?"
"That’s what she said, Alan," Leigh supplied. "But we’ll be needing just a few more things besides the pants. We’re going out on the town tonight."
RJ looked a little surprised. Leigh hadn’t mentioned this before. She had just assumed they’d go back to the motel, have tons of obnoxiously satisfying sex and then go to bed.
Leigh gave the man a satisfied smirk. "And I want the entire city to wish they were me. Not that they won’t be anyway."
They both turned and stared at RJ, who was standing there looking like a deer caught in headlights.
"Not a problem," Alan declared.
"And I want her to be completely comfortable in what she’s wearing."
Alan scowled. "I sense a problem."
***
Pete ran a shaking hand through his thick white hair. "I know, Katherine! I’m not disagreeing with you."
"How could you do it?" Her gaze raked across the table of men and women and not a single one of them would lift their eyes to meet hers. "She’s falling in love with that girl, whether she knows it yet or not. And there is no way they can be together! You’re going to let her get her heart broken." The middle-aged woman was nearly in tears.
"Katherine," Pete rumbled in a low voice. "We can’t change what’s destined to happen." He squared his shoulders, firming his resolve against the formidable woman. "You’ve been in Glory long enough to know that."
"Peter," she narrowed her eyes, "are you saying that me daughter is destined to have her heart torn from her chest and stomped on!"
"I’m not a fortune teller." Pete winced. "So I don’t know."
"If you don’t know, then why are you saying it’s destined to happen?"
"Katherine." Pete’s voice softened. "That they’re right for each other is obvious. Any fool can see that." Before she could respond he beat her to the punch by saying, "Yes, even a fool like me. RJ might get her heart broken." He looked directly into her eyes, an unusual helplessness overtaking his strong features. "There’s nothing –"
"I refuse to accept that! Her life was short enough as it was. Now she’s being shortchanged in her afterlife too?" Katherine slammed her fist against the table. Her husband, Frank, who was sitting quietly at the other end of the table nodded approvingly. A man who was married to a woman like Katherine didn’t need to say much. Thank the Lord. And he could see she was on a roll. "I, for one, won’t stand here idly while that happens. Ruth Jean deserves better."
Pete hung his head. "You’re right, Katherine." When he looked up he pinned every member of the Glory City Counsel with a withering gaze. "RJ has given us sixty years of dedicated service." He sat down in his chair, jumping back up when Flea hissed in outrage. "Sorry, Flea," Pete offered contritely, as he picked up the fat cat and set her on the table in front of him. "I think maybe we need to consider breaking the rules and letting RJ leave Glory permanently."
Katherine, along with everyone else in the room, gasped, a pang in her chest making it hard to breathe. Would they really let RJ leave? Lord above, it would take a miracle. But she nodded. Her daughter deserved her chance at happiness and she would take her petition to the very top if she had to.
***
RJ didn’t know where to start when they got back to the lingerie store. There were just so many options. She began counting on her fingers, her brows drawing together.
"What are you doing?" Leigh asked as she took notice of a nice little purple number that was a distinct possibility.
"Counting how many nights we have."
"Nuh uh, RJ." Leigh shook her head. "I only got to buy you one outfit. And you insisted on buying yourself those jeans." Her smiled at RJ’s new Levis. "That means you can only pick one thing for me." She smiled mischievously. "Fair is fair."
RJ growled deep and loud at her stubborn companion. She usually enjoyed the fire and the fight that Leigh so easily displayed. But couldn’t she see reason just this once? There were so many … interesting outfits to be had here. All of which the blonde would look completely delightful in. "Fine," she muttered, only somewhat dejected. She was still buying one, by God. "Which one do you like, lass?"
"Doesn’t matter." Leigh smiled coyly. "If I’m not mistaken," batting her eyelashes, she drew her fingertip from RJ’s belly button all the way to collarbone where she let it rest, "this is really for you, right?" Her smile broadened when she heard RJ swallow. Hard. God, I love flirting with her.
RJ captured Leigh’s hand and kissed the tip of her wandering, but much appreciated finger. "Well, that’s true, but I want you to feel good in whatever it is you wear. If you feel good you’ll enjoy it more. And if you enjoy it more, I’ll enjoy it more." She gently bit the tip of Leigh’s finger. "And if I enjoy it more, you’ll enjoy it more." She gave the blonde a wicked little sneer as one eyebrow arched up and said, "Don’t you agree?"
This particular conversation was making Leigh dizzy, though the ‘feel good’ theme was registering loud and clear. "How about this?" She walked over to a rack of short silk robes and watched as RJ’s eyes lit up. Hmm …nice reaction, her ego purred happily. But how about … As an experiment, she walked over to another rack, this one containing lacy bras, and received an equally enthusiastic reaction. "Oh, boy." She laughed. "I think we’re going to be here for a while."
Leigh crooked her finger at RJ and the tall woman immediately complied by stepping over to her. "You know they have dressing rooms here, right?" she said with the innocence of an angel.
"You know, lass," she shifted just slightly. Suddenly her clothes were becoming very restricting and warm, very warm. "If you’re suggesting what I think you’re suggesting ..." RJ whimpered at the thought.
Leigh’s smile grew even larger. "Yes?"
"Well, then that might be –" RJ was forced to stop and clear her throat. "That might be a mistake. Now mind you, I’m not certain, but I’m thinking even in the great State of Washington you can get arrested for what would happen if we went into that dressing room together."
Leigh pouted just a little and RJ tweaked her lower lip.
"It might be best if you find an outfit or three that you like and then we take them to the hotel and try ‘em out." RJ was quite certain there was nothing in this store that Leigh wouldn’t make look even better.
"Tch," Leigh scoffed. "Such a dirty mind." What RJ had said was, however, right on target. The thoughts that were floating around in Leigh’s brain and sending lovely signals to the rest of her anatomy would most certainly get them into deep trouble if they got caught. "I was just suggesting that you pick out a few of your favorites for me to try on." The trucker tried her best to look innocent, which even in the best of times was a bit of a stretch.
"Right." RJ eyed her companion, knowing better than to fall for that sweet, innocent look. Leigh Matthews was many things. But sweet and innocent were not among them. "All right, tell you what. Why don’t you pick one you like and I’ll pick one I like and we’ll go with those? We can surprise each other."
"Okay," Leigh agreed immediately. She spent a few moments perusing the racks, intentionally staying on the opposite side of the store from her lover. She began to gnaw on a fingernail as she scanned the garments.
She felt decidedly girly as she rolled the fabric of a silky pair of panties in her hand. It was nice to feel feminine. She spent most of her time in a man’s world or completely alone. And while she clearly had a preference for strong women, she couldn’t stand being dominated. RJ is the perfect combination of feminine/masculine, she mused. Strong and self-assured, but still caring and funny. She doesn’t dictate my every move. She just lets me be myself. Even her body is just right. Long and muscular, but still soft and inviting.
Leigh quickly began fanning her flushed cheeks, turning her back to the part of the store she knew RJ was looking in. "Oh, boy," she laughed at the state she’d worked herself into. "Okay, time to focus." Pale brows creased. What would she like that she might not pick out herself? RJ was by no means shy, then again, some of the lingerie, especially the stuff in the very back of the store, was a little on the racy side. Tasteful. Hot as hell. But undeniably racy.
Something in the palest of greens caught her eye. She picked it up and held it in front of her body. Taking a chance, she nodded and folded it under her arm.
RJ tucked her thumbs in her pockets and wandered around the store. She tried to keep an eye on Leigh, but her attention couldn’t help but drift to the clothing all around. She pictured the blonde in almost everything she laid eyes on. If I keep this up we won’t make it back to the hotel. I can’t take the stress of being with her. Why does she have to be so damn sexy and so willing to play with me? Wish I’d met her when we could have had a lifetime together.
The thought shocked her, and she reached up to wipe away the moisture that had collected in the bottom of her eyes. She sucked in a deep breath and picked up a particularly attractive black number that came with a pair of sheer black hose and garters to match. "Oh, yeah. Always had a thing for those."
A low voice burred directly into RJ’s ear, "No man could resist them. Those are very nice."
The pilot swallowed hard and nodded. "Yes. Yes they are." RJ turned around to see a distinguished-looking woman in her mid-fifties. She wore enormous glasses with red frames, and her nose resembled a beak, accentuating her already owlish features.
"What size are you?" the decidedly cheerful woman inquired.
RJ finally tore her eyes from the outfit and took in the clerk who was offering her assistance. "Oh, no. It’s … umm … not for me."
"Oh." The clerk stiffened, her attitude immediately cooling as she followed RJ’s line of sight to Leigh, who was talking to another clerk at the register. She stroked her perfectly pressed sleeve. "For a friend’s bachelorette party or wedding shower?"
RJ stood up to her full height and stared at the clerk, lifting a single, defiant brow. "No. For a friend. But not for a party. At least not one that’s going to have more than two participants."
"I see." The clerk’s nose wrinkled ever so slightly. "You don’t look as though you need any help. I’ll leave you to your shopping." She turned to leave when she felt a tap on her shoulder.
"No, actually," RJ made the clerk turn around to face her, "I think I’d really like you to help my friend. She’s right over there." RJ pointed to the blonde. "Isn’t she beautiful?"
The clerk’s eyes widened. "She … I mean … of course –"
So much for people being more accepting in these times. Dear Lord, what have people been doing for the last sixty years! "And don’t you think she deserves the most beautiful piece outfit that you have in your stock?"
"Well, I mean," the woman began to sputter. "She’s quite attractive. And I’m sure –"
"Oh, but nothing." She took the woman by the arm and moved her across the store toward the blonde at a nearly frightening speed. "Leigh, sweetheart, this lady was just saying how much she’d love to help you find something for us to enjoy this week while we’re together." RJ hoped her grin would convey to her friend what was going on. If not, she were pretty sure the trucker would figure it out as soon as the clerk opened her mouth. She had to admit Leigh was damn quick on the uptake.
One look at the prudish clerk and Leigh sighed. Has Miss Straight and Narrow been giving you a hard time, RJ? Now that’s just not nice. "Thank you, honey." She marched right up to RJ and placed a light, but decidedly not chaste kiss on her lips. "You’re so thoughtful."
"Oh, that’s me all right — thoughtful. I’m looking forward to being all kinds of ‘thoughtful’ with you later. So pick something very nice." RJ winked and took a step backwards, perfectly happy to watch the master go to work.
The saleswoman looked like she was ready to bolt and was already wearing a light coat of perspiration.
"You know ..." Leigh tapped her chin. "This is what I think I’d like you to do." She paused. "It is your job to help two love birds like us find satisfaction with our lingerie choices," Leigh smiled sweetly, "isn’t it?"
"I ... I ..."
"Of course it is." Leigh moved right up alongside the woman, invading her personal space and intentionally making her even more uncomfortable. "My lover, the beautiful brunette you’ve already met, would like to buy me something. I’ve already selected something for myself, which is waiting for me at the register. But I think I might need to be measured for what she’d like to buy me." She turned to RJ, the mischief fairly dancing in her sky blue eyes. "Isn’t that right, baby?"
"Oh, absolutely. Have to make sure it fits properly, don’t we, darlin’? Wouldn’t want you getting pinched in a ‘sensitive’ spot. Unless of course I’m doing the pinching." RJ leaned over to the saleswoman. "She really likes it when I bite her on the–"
RJ couldn’t finish her sentence before Leigh’s lips crushed against hers in a passionate kiss.
The salesclerk gasped, then paled as the kiss continued and several large women in the front of the store began hooting and clapping.
"Mmmm ..." Leigh pulled away from RJ, her eyes still closed. She opened them slowly and shrugged one shoulder, a small smile playing at her lips. "I was missing you," she said softly. Truly meaning it.
RJ wasn’t sure if her friend was playing or serious, but she placed her hand on the blonde’s cheek and replied sincerely. "I was missing you as well, Leigh Matthews." She stood up straight before the moment got too intense and turned back to the clerk who looked as if she were going to pass out at any moment. "See how sweet she is? Now I’m sure you can find it in your heart to help her out."
The woman stood dumbfounded, simply staring at Leigh, who was staring at RJ, utterly charmed by RJ’s response to her kiss. She started to slip away when Leigh’s hand shot out and grabbed a tape measure that was barely sticking out of the saleswoman’s pocket. "I believe the dressing rooms are this way. And I just know I’m going to need some help." This woman is acting like my cooties will kill her. I love it! Leigh turned on her heel and began marching toward her destination. When she was almost there she stopped and looked over her shoulder.
The saleswoman was torn. She couldn’t stand waiting on this kind. But she couldn’t afford to lose this job either. The woman reluctantly scurried after Leigh, taking the tape measure from her outstretched hand and walking past her into the dressing rooms.
Leigh’s eyes were riveted on RJ. "Wait for me?"
A nod. "For eternity if I must," she said quietly.
***
"Where is she? What’s she doing?" the female squirrel whispered loudly. Her mate was standing on her shoulders peering inside Fitz’s diner at the Glory Town Council meeting.
"She was ranting about broken hearts and her daughter. But now they’re all just sitting around a table drinking iced tea."
The female rolled her eyes. "Not the humans, dipshit! The cat. Flea. What’s she doing?"
The male stuck his face up to the glass, pressing his tiny, wet squirrel nose against its dusty surface and fogging it up with his moist breath. "She’s lying on the table while Elvis scratches her belly."
"Elvis! Really?"
"No," he said dejectedly. "But that would be cool, wouldn’t it?"
The female jerked to the side, sending her mate tumbling to the ground at her feet. "This is not a joke. That cat is after us! She’s toying with us, torturing us, watching us writhe and sweat just for sport."
"Females," the male snorted. "You’re all alike."
"True."
"So what can we do?"
"We can fight back. I’m not going to spend the rest of eternity running from that nasty feline. Just look at this." She pointed to the scratches on her back. Apparently, being dead didn’t make you immune from injury.
"The cat didn’t give you those." He wriggled the skin above his eyes that would have been squirrel eyebrows had God not been preoccupied by Republicans that day — and other manner of hideous assaults upon nature. "I did."
The female tackled her mate. She pressed into him, exciting him with her shapely squirrel form and her low, sexy rodent voice. "Is that a grain of rice in your pocket, or are you just happy to see me?"
The male squirrel purred happily and slid his hand between their bodies. "It’s rice!" He whipped out a single long grain and shoved it right in front of his mate’s face, forcing her to cross her eyes to look at it. "I’m hoarding for the apocalypse."
"But we’re already dead!"
"Oh, yeah." The male immediately popped the grain of rice into his mouth.