For disclaimers see chapter one...
17 years earlier
Danny pulled her black jacket closer around her body, shivering from the cool wind, but it hardly helped much. October was unusually cold that year, but at that point she didn't care, not really.
It didn't matter. Nothing did. Not anymore.
The constant rain kept pouring down on her and on everyone else who was standing at the cemetary, watching the small, white casket carrying her younger brother, being carefully lowered down into the ground to be left six feet under for eternity.
Everyone was there; her parents, grandparents, aunts, uncles and friends of the family, as well as a lot of people she didn't even know who they were.
The church had been full. Full of all these people crying. Most of them still were as the ropes which had been used to lower her dead brother's casket down into the ground came back up empty.
Danny wished she would cry too. That she could. But she couldn't. She hadn't cried a single tear during the two weeks when her ten year old brother had been at the hospital, or since he passed away ten days earlier. It wasn't that she didn't care, because she did. She cared so damn much she felt numb. Empty. She had loved him more than she had loved anyone in her whole life. He was the only one she had ever thought of as family.
So, since that day three weeks ago, it was as if her mind and heart had shut down, to protect her from the truth. The truth of what had happened. The truth of what she had done.
She put her arms around her own body as she looked at the people standing around her, to warm herself up a little. There must have been over 50 people present, but she had never felt so alone.
No one even acknowledged her presence. It was as if she wasn't there. As if she was invisible. She had felt like that pretty much all her life, but even more so now. Because she knew what they all knew. What they all thought. That everything was her fault. She had killed her brother. She had killed David.
The only thought that was left in her mind and kept repeating itself like a mantra was ”it should have been me”.
It should have been her. She should have died and not him. He was no longer here, but she was. Everyone thought so and Danny was no exception. It would have been better that way. He had always been the golden child. Perfect. And she was the black sheep of the family. The one who always got herself into trouble. The one who was different. Different from the rest of them. She had always resented them, their money and their ways and attitudes.
There was no resentment whatsoever in those thoughts, just simply an acknowledgement of the facts.
She shivered from the memories that once again overtook her. The memories which would never leave her for as long as she lived. If she could take everything back, she would.
She wouldn't have taken her Dad's Porsche without permission. She wouldn't have brought David, despite him wanting her to. She would have kept more track on where she was going. She wouldn't have driven so fast.
But it's the result that counts, never the thought. She knew that. And the result was that he had died. He was the one who had suffered serious brain damage. Who had ended up in a permanent coma. And she had left the car, of which almost nothing remained, without even as much as a scratch on her body.
When the priest had finished his speech, of which Danny hadn't heard anything, she walked up to the grave, let the single red rose she had brought fall down onto her brother's casket, said a short prayer and left. She didn't look back, but instinctly knew that nobody saw or noticed her leave.
She then went home, packed a backpack with the most necessary of her things, along with 2000 dollars she had saved from her allowance and left her parents house to never return.
She was now only 17 years old, but new that her life would never be the same again.
***
Emily tried to wipe away the tears that had fallen ever since Danny had started telling the story of her brother's death. She couldn't help herself as she heard the words the dark haired woman said, but it was just as much or more because of what she didn't say. She felt so sorry for Danny and for what she'd had to live through. And all alone. It was one thing to blame yourself for something like that, which was understandable, but it was a whole other thing to be blamed by your own family. She was just a child, for God's sake.
Emily knew that even though she really didn't know Danny, she knew that whatever she would say to try to help her or to try to ease her obvious pain, it would never be enough. She wouldn't listen. It was clear that even though what had happened had been an unfortunate accident, Danny blamed herself completely and those feelings were apparently too deeply rooted in her mind and soul to be changed because of something she of all people would say.
But she could always try. And she would. But she also knew that to say that it hadn't been Danny's fault was the wrong thing to say.
”Where did you go?”
She saw Danny close her eyes. She was quiet for a few seconds before she answered.
”Everywhere and nowhere. I really had no place to go to, so I just drifted around for a while, getting myself into more trouble. I really didn't give a fuck what happened to me at that point and for a long time after that”.
Emily knew she shouldn't ask the question she asked next, but did so anyway. How was she going to be able to help Danny if she didn't know what was going on? And more than that, she wanted some kind of progress.
”Does that have anything to do with the problems you're in right now? Why you're sitting here in my living room in the state you're in?”
Emily realized she might have sounded a bit harsh, but that's not what she had intended. Even so, she regretted her words as soon as she saw the look on Danny's face.
”Well me and my looks won't be here much longer, don't worry Emily. I'll be gone from your life soon enough. I already would be if it had been up to me”.
Emily felt her anger rising again as so often when she tried to have a somewhat productive conversation with the stubborn dark haired woman.
”That's not what I meant and you can get angry with me all you want, Danny, but I damn well think you know that too. You just want to shut me out for some reason, even though I just want to help you goddamnit!”
It was crazy this thing they were doing. They reminded Emily more of an old married couple than two complete strangers, getting on each other's nerves all the time. She just felt as if nothing she did seemed to be enough. It frustrated her as hell, but at the same she realized that there wasn't much she could do. The only thing she could do was to wait and just be there if Danny wanted to talk to her. That she had told her about her brother was at least a step forward, which was alot when Danny was concerned, that's for sure. She decided that from now on she would try to focus on Danny 's health,to get her well, primarily and simply take things from there.
***
Danny put the used dishes in the dishwasher and cleaned up everything in the kitchen after their dinner, putting the leftovers in the fridge before going to the living room area to start a fire. She figured Emily would like it; she had learned that she was always cold when the weather was like this. Looking out through the large windows, she could see the rain still pouring down.
Like the day they met, Danny thought. Since then, she loved the rain.
Two weeks had now passed since that day. Since that night. She was feeling much better now. Physically, at least. Her injuries had healed, leaving her with yet another scar on her already scarred body and she had regained most of her strength.
She sat there in front of the fire, thinking about Emily and how much she actually liked spending time with her and Max. That fact scared her. This wasn't real, whatever it was. It never could be. She knew that they both felt the strange connection, but this was all just borrowed time. This wasn't her life. Her family. They were gone.
But the sense of familiarity wouldn't leave her. She couldn't shake it from her mind and that was why she had stayed longer than she knew she should have. They hadn't talked more about her past, both because she didn't want to and because it was safer for Emily the less she knew.
She smiled when she thought about the boy; he looked so much like Emily with his light blonde hair and contagious smile. And he was so smart.
These past weeks had been the best Danny had known for a long, long time. She would even go as far as to say that she had been, not happy, but content. Calm even. It was a long time since, even though she was afraid to admit it, knowing that it would all be taken away from her. She would never come back from that when it would, that much she knew. Not one more time. She didn't want to even begin to think about what she would do then.
The demon hadn't shown itself much and when it had, she had, for once, been able to control it. To suppress it. She knew it was because of the boy who she'd come to care for a lot, as well as because of his mother. Emily had done everything and more for her and she would be forever grateful for that. She had tried to do as best she could to pay her back by helping her around the house and stuff, but it would never be enough in her book, of course. The worst thing, though, was that she became more and more drawn to her. Physically as well as emotionally. She hadn't felt like this in a very long time. It was as if Emily had affected her more in just two weeks, than anything had for more than two years. Danny knew that she shouldn't think like this, shouldn't feel like this. But she did.
After about 30 minutes Emily returned to the living room after putting Max to bed. He'd wanted to stay up with them, crying when she had told him no, but Emily had thought it was too late for him even though it was a Friday night, so she'd had to read him a story to make him calm down and stay in his bed. It had taken a while before he was tired enough to not be able to resist any longer.
Emily smiled as she carefully closed the door to his room and looked over at the woman sitting by the fireplace with her arms wrapped around her knees. Her dark hair was hanging loosely down her back and shoulders, reflecting the light from the fire, mixing carbon black with soft strands of gold. She turned the ceiling spotlights off as she walked towards her, leaving the room dark except for the warm, flickering light coming from the fire Danny had started.
Emily knew Danny was the reason why Max had wanted to stay up, to play with her, to spend time with her. He loved it. Emily could understand why; she had been so good with him these past few weeks. And to her. She really had tried to make an effort, even though Emily could see that she struggled with it. She hadn't been able to get more information out of her, though. It was obvious that she didn't want to talk any more about what had brought her here.
Danny smiled back at Emily as she turned around and saw the blonde smiling at her. She had felt her presence, as always making her skin tingle, and she knew she was being watched. She poked around in the burning wood a little, spreading it out, before standing up.
Emily was standing by the couch, silently watching her. She looked so beautiful, Danny thought, wearing light blue, worn jeans and a white cotton T-shirt.
“Thanks for helping me”, she said.
Danny just shook her head.
“It was my pleasure, Emily. I'll help you with anything you want”.
Emily just watched the woman now standing only a few feet away. The look on her face. In her blue eyes. Emily didn't know how to interpret it, but it made her heart race like never before and she felt her hands becoming moist.
“I know what I want”, Emily thought to herself, just wishing that Danny would kiss her. It was all she could think about at that moment. Ever since she first saw her, really, even though she knew it was wrong. For some reason she was so much more to her than some woman whose last name she didn't even know. The attraction she felt was almost palpable and she knew that Danny felt it too.
The warmth and light from the fire started slowly spreading in the room, the slowly burning wood making faint sounds in the otherwise silent house. Danny stepped even closer until she could almost feel Emily against her own body; impossibly drawn to her. She could see her breathing hard. Danny just wanted to take her in her arms, to make love to her. So much. Make love. The words should sound strange to her, but they didn't. She could no longer resist the intense longing she felt every time she was close to the exquisite woman now standing only a few inches away. It was almost painful.
“Danny, I…” Emily whispered, feeling herself almost sucked in by the clear, sapphire blue eyes studying her. Her words faded away as her throat constricted from the force of the emotions running through her body. Danny reached out her hand, tenderly placing her fingers on Emily's lips.
“Schhh …” she calmed her, sensing her nervousness clearly. “Just let me take care of you, Emily. Please. I want to. I need to”.
There was no need for words, no need for anything but what Danny knew they both wanted. No words could even begin to convey how she felt anyway and she recognized the desire in the shining, green eyes only a few inches from her own.
Emily looked at the woman standing before her. Danny was standing so close, she could have touched her just by a slight movement of her hand. She smelled so good; the deep, intoxicating scent that was Danny. Emily had to fight hard to restrain herself from simply reaching out. Her hands were trembling. She knew what Danny wanted. Not only did she see the want in her eyes, she sensed it, with every fiber of her body.
She made her so damn nervous. Not because of anything she did wrong; just the opposite. She did everything right, in fact. That was just it, to her Danny was perfect. She was kind and caring and hot as hell. The fact of how they had met was not insignificant, but had mattered less and less the more time she had spent time with her. Every time she had seen the unguarded side of Danny. The side of her Emily suspected, no knew, was the real her.
And Emily wanted her. God, how she wanted her. She had never wanted anyone like this. Ever.
“It's been so long for me; I don't know…”
Emily didn't know how to express what she felt as she saw Danny leaning in even closer to her. She could feel her heart pounding like crazy in her chest when she felt Danny embracing her, placing her hands behind her lower back, guiding her closer, making their bodies mold together, intimately.
Danny slid her hands further up and under Emily's T-shirt, loving the feeling of her soft skin against her hands. She watched the blonde as she continued caressing her back, searching for a sign of hesitation, but not seeing none. Slowly, she ran her hands up and down Emily's delicate skin. She saw that she had closed her eyes, and her mouth was slightly open. Danny took the rim of the white T-shirt in her hands, slowly removing the garment from the blonde woman's body by sliding it over her head as she raised her arms compliantly. She couldn't help looking at Emily's perfect breasts. She saw Emily watching her when she was finally able to tear her eyes away from them. She looked her right in the eyes.
Emily felt as if she would burn up from inside; she was so hot. She felt Danny's warm hands against her skin and it made her crazy. She saw the way Danny was looking at her breasts and the expression on her face made Emily feel good about herself in a way she hadn't done in a very long time. If ever. And she was tired of being a good girl. The good girl everyone thought she was. Tired of living her life for everyone else.
Danny leaned in closer to her, their lips now only inches apart. Emily couldn't help moaning out loud when Danny finally kissed her. She slid her arms around the dark haired woman's neck, burying her fingers in her hair when she felt her tongue demanding entrance into her mouth. Every constraint had been torn apart. Emily answered the kiss passionately, wanting to convey her intense, limitless feelings for the other woman. She removed her hands from her hair and started unbuttoning Danny's jeans. She desperately wanted everything that separated them out of the way, wanting to feel Danny's body against her own.
“Oh my God, Danny, I want you so much…”
Emily had had to tear her mouth away from Danny's while trying to unbutton her pants, her hands shaking so badly the task seemed almost impossible.
Danny moaned when she saw Emily's need as she fingered with her pants; the same need as her own and she was overwhelmed by her emotions, feeling as if she would soon lose control.
“Is Max asleep?” she had to ask, sensing that Emily was on the verge of it as well.
Emily stopped what she was doing, her fingers still holding on to the zipper, and looked at Danny, smiling faintly. She shook her head at herself. She couldn't believe that she could get this carried away. Her son was only one closed door away from them. She looked at the woman watching her. She was so incredibly hot.
“Then, on second thought…” she said, smiling towards the dark haired woman.
“What?” Danny asked, smiling back.
Emily could see her questioning look.
“Come with me”, was all she said, taking Danny's hand in hers.
She headed for the bedroom, as she realized she was actually half naked. They needed more privacy.
Danny smiled to herself as she was led up the staircase. It was a lovely view, the way the torn pair of Levi's covered the sexy butt in front of her like a second skin.
The blonde hadn't put her T-shirt back on, either. Danny could see the contours of Emily's perfect form in the pale light coming from outside, shining in through the tall windows of the bedroom as she turned around slightly, meeting Danny's eyes. Emily still held Danny's hand tightly as she led her towards the bed.
Danny could tell that Emily liked it when she looked at her; she had sensed it from the very beginning and Danny had never tried to hide or conceal it.
Emily happily complied when she was gently, but determinedly pressed down onto the queen size bed by firm hands, feeling the softness of the light blue sheets against her naked back. She watched Danny as she stood there in front of her, taking her jeans off herself, together with the black T-shirt she wore. She looked so confident in her motions, as in everything she did, Emily mused. She liked it. It gave Emily a strange feeling of being safe and protected and the aura of confidence that surrounded Danny made Emily, if possible, even more attracted to her.
Emily's eyes roamed over the now naked body in front of her, feeling her own body react instinctively to the sight. Danny was so damn sexy, looking at her with a seductive smile as she stripped her body of her clothes. She had put on some well needed weight from food and work and her long, lean body showed well sculptured muscles, flexing with her every movement. Emily swallowed hard when Danny reached forward, silently unbuttoning her own jeans as well, sliding them down her legs together with her panties. Lying there, completely naked, Emily for once felt no urge to cover herself up. She knew how Danny used to look at her and it made all the difference in the world.
“Are you ok?” Danny asked as she slowly laid her naked body down on top of Emily's.
She caressed a strand of blonde hair away from her face as she felt Emily embracing her. She just wanted Emily to feel safe; she would never deliberately want to do anything to hurt her or make her uncomfortable. Emily nodded and smiled towards her, reassuring her.
“Yeah, I am”, she whispered, placing her hand on her soon to be lover's cheek. “I don't think I've ever felt this good”.
Danny smiled back and bent down slightly. She just wanted to feel those soft lips on her own again. This kiss was even more intense, taking both women's breath away, but none of them wanted it to end. Danny placed her hands under her lover's body, moving them further up on the bed and smiled as Emily caressed her cheek tenderly when she lowered her body back down on top of hers. Danny guided the delicate hand towards her lips and kissed its palm, then took the small fingers in her mouth, one by one, slowly, seductively sucking on them. Emily moaned from the feeling and had to concentrate on keeping herself together; she didn't want it to be over so quickly. She had never felt this way just from someone's touch. Every inch of skin burned and sent sensations further south, sensations she had never felt.
She had to swallow hard as she saw the hungry look on Danny's face before she lowered her mouth to her breasts and Emily closed her eyes when she felt the warm, wet mouth on her sensitive skin, gently sucking on her hardened nipples.
“Oh, my God…” she moaned, making Danny move her focus, kissing her way down Emily's body, kissing her belly. The inside of her thighs. I think I'm going to come and she has hardly even touched me yet. The way Danny's warm tongue and soft lips felt against her sensitive body made her crazy.
It was a long time since she had been touched. And never like this. Emily couldn't lie still any longer; she didn't know what to do with herself and simply raised her hips, trying to get closer to the skilled mouth devouring her.
Danny felt Emily writhing beneath her body and she knew that she was getting close and needed more. She enjoyed getting to know every inch of Emily's body, but she was torturing her by going so slow, she knew that. Danny let her tongue roam over Emily's center, making her whimper as she teasingly tasted her before moving up again, running her hands over the blonde's beautiful body. Emily was watching her every move closely. She looked so aroused and Danny wanted nothing but touch her. She wanted to claim her, so much so that she had to restrain herself.
Danny laid back down again, covering the smaller body beneath her with her own. She felt her sweet taste in her mouth. She heard Emily panting from anticipation as she slowly moved her hand towards the area between her legs, and then moaning Danny's name loudly as she reached her goal. Danny moaned herself from the feeling; the blonde was so wet and she felt so good.
Danny caressed her, slowly and lightly at first wanting to prolong the feeling for Emily, but then increasing the pressure of her hand more and more in response to the movements and sounds of the woman beneath her, pushing Emily closer and closer to the edge with each movement of her hand.
Emily moaned again and again when she felt Danny's hand against her and had to take a deep breath when she felt long fingers carefully entering her. She arched her neck and had to close her eyes in wonder. It felt so good, the way Danny's long fingers filled her, the way she moved inside her. Emily had never felt this kind of overpowering lust. She took hold of Danny's firm butt, pressing her against her own body as she started moving demandingly in sync with the body on top of her, wanting to feel Danny even deeper inside, not at all feeling her usual restraints. Danny looked at her the whole time, her clear blue eyes shining, conveying the clear message that she felt the same way. When Emily felt the sensations of her impending release beginning deep inside her core, she had to let go of Danny and reached for a pillow, desperately pressing it over her face. Despite really, really trying to keep herself from falling over so quickly, Emily didn't stand a chance. She was approaching the edge fast, really fast and she knew she wouldn't be able to keep herself from screaming because the feelings running through her body were so incredibly intense.
She climaxed hard, then once more as Danny simply moved slightly inside of her, attempting to remove her fingers. Wave after wave of ecstasy surged through Emily's body, leaving her just lying there, trembling, as she held on to the dark haired woman who had loved her so completely. The thought word frightened her, but that was what it had felt like. It took a long time before the intense feelings even began to subside.
Finally, Danny removed her fingers from inside of Emily, breathing hard as well. It was one of the sexiest things she had ever experienced, being inside of Emily when she came, feeling her muscles tighten around her fingers over and over again. It had almost made her come too. She removed the pillow from Emily's face, caressing her sweaty hair away. She looked so beautiful when she opened her eyes, smiling towards Danny.
“My God, Danny”, she whispered. “What are you doing to me, huh?”
Danny just smiled back and bent down, kissing her.
“I want to make you feel good too”, Emily whispered, kissing Danny again, tasting herself in her mouth. It made her aroused all over again.
“I could come by just watching you”, Danny confessed and moaned when she felt Emily placing her hands back on her butt. Her hands felt so good. Danny closed her eyes as she positioned herself on top of Emily, their most sensitive spots touching closely. She heard the blonde gasp and began slowly moving herself against her, placing her hands on the bed on both sides of the blonde for support. She had never felt such an intense need to come. She wouldn't have been able to stop what she was doing even if the damn house was on fire. The feeling of Emily's body beneath her was exquisite.
“Oh, Emily, you feel so good. My God…”
Danny sped up her movements when she felt Emily placing her calves on the back of her thighs, locking her in a tight grip as she pressed them closer together; deciding their pace with her hands still on Danny's butt.
Emily looked up at her lover; her eyes were still closed, but her mouth was open and she was panting, looking focused and determined. Sweaty bangs where framing her beautiful features. Emily loved the sight of her; her face, the way her muscles showed from the strain of her actions, the sight of them pressed intimately together, their sensual motions. It excited her to such a degree Emily thought she would lose it. She grabbed hold of Danny's butt harder, hearing Danny moan loudly as she ran her nails over the smooth skin.
“My God, Emily, I'm going to come”, she panted.
Danny had never felt like this, feeling the sensations all the way down to her toes.
Emily could feel herself getting closer as well the more she watched the woman, sensually moving against her.
“I want you to come against me, Danny”, Emily whispered. “I want to feel you. I need to feel you, to know that this is real”.
She could see Danny opening her eyes, looking right at her and only moments later, she came. She let out a long moan as her body convulsed, the strength of her uncontrolled motions pushing Emily over the edge as well, a third time.
Emily took Danny in her arms when she slowly lowered her body down, lying down completely on top of her. Her body was covered in sweat from the exertion and she was panting heavily. Emily could feel the rapid beat of her heart against her own chest and began massaging her back tenderly, intending to calm Danny down.
“Emily… thank you… thank you…”
Emily could feel her warm breath against her ear; tears building up from her words, burning behind her eyelids. She looked at Danny as she raised herself up on her elbows, stroking her wet hair away from her eyes.
“Please stay with me, Danny. With us. No matter what happens, we can deal with it”.
Danny looked down on the woman beneath her. She couldn't care less about herself or her own life, but he would never want anything to happen to Emily or Max. She had already been there once.
“I don't want to hurt you, Emily. Or risk you being hurt because of me. This isn't over. You don't know…”.
Danny attempted to raise herself up, but Emily held her down, forcing her to stay.
“You will hurt me if you leave, Danny. If you leave me. We'll get through this, together. One day at a time”.
Emily put her hand behind Danny's head, bringing her closer.
“Please?”
Danny couldn't resist her as she looked into the green eyes, pleading to her. Weeks earlier she had promised herself that she would leave; that she didn't want to get Emily involved in this life of hers. And here she was. Again fucking things up. Making the wrong decisions. She wanted that promise to mean something, because this wasn't about her. But it was getting harder.
She hoped that Emily was right, yeah; that they could deal with everything that would come their way. But it was wishful thinking, as simple as that. I would never be over.
Danny closed her eyes. She didn't answer. Didn't know how. Because what could she say?
They kissed deeply, both tasting the salty tears that Emily hadn't been able to hold back and then just lay there for a long time, holding each other while listening to the soothing sound of the rain.
***
Emily was woken up by the onslaught of the sun, shining its yellow rays through the open blinds, almost blinding her as she opened her eyes. The weather had apparently changed considerably since the night before.
The night before . Emily smiled to herself when she thought about it. It had been so damn good, too good to be true, really. If it hadn't been for the feeling of the warm body snuggled up closely against her, she would have thought it was a dream.
She felt Danny placing her arm tighter around her waist, bringing their still naked bodies even closer together and burying her face in her blonde hair.
Emily could feel Danny nodding and turned around, facing her. She was so cute, Emily thought, just having woken up; her hair was in a mess and her cheeks were rosy.
“What are you smiling about”, Danny asked, seeing the expression of her face. “Me, huh?”
She rolled them around, laying herself on top of Emily. She was still smiling.
“Yeah, I am”, she confessed. “You just look so cute”.
“Oh, is that so”, Danny teased and bent down, kissing the blonde tenderly.
She could still feel the aftermath of their lovemaking the night before. It had been so intense, so fulfilling and so perfect in every way. And Danny wanted more.
She wanted to taste Emily again and changed her focus from her lips to her neck, then kissing her further down her body, making the blonde moan as she pressed Danny's mouth harder against her.
“Wait”, Emily whispered suddenly and Danny stopped. She could hear sounds coming from downstairs. Some cartoon on TV, she concluded and smiled as she kissed a soft thigh, drawing out another deep moan from Emily's throat.
“Max, huh?”
Emily nodded and smiled back towards her lover, lying there so enticingly sexy between her legs.
“Yeah, I'm sorry, Danny”.
She reached out and caressed Danny's cheek.
“I'm glad that I was able to make him go to bed somewhat early last night, at least, so that we could have last night alone. He wanted to stay up to be with you, you know”.
She stroke Danny's hair tenderly.
“He really likes you”.
Danny could feel her heart swell and moved up closer to kiss Emily again before sitting up.
“I like him too”.
She reached down for her T-shirt, which was still lying on the floor where she had left it the night before and looked at Emily after putting it on. She was by far one of the most beautiful women Danny had ever met.
“So, will you stay?”
Danny saw the worried look on Emily's face, wanting reassurance and reached forward, caressing her cheek.
“Emily...”
Emily could feel herself on the verge of tears again. She had been afraid that Danny would leave her every day since they first met, but now after the last hours' change in their “relationship”, the thought of her leaving now was unbearable.
“Mummy?”
Emily heard her son's voice as he walked up the stairs and smiled towards Danny while trying to wipe away the tears from her face. She kissed her quickly before putting her T-shirt and underwear on.
“Maybe I'll just go to the bathroom”, Danny said and attempted to get up from the bed. She wasn't really sure what to do. She felt Emily's hand on her arm, stopping her.
“No, stay”.
Danny could see Emily's reassuring look and complied.
“Good morning, honey”.
Danny turned towards the doorway as Emily addressed her son. She could see him standing there, watching them closely.
“Mum, I'm hungry”, he said simply, and Danny couldn't help laughing. He didn't seem to find the sight of Danny in his mother's bedroom in the morning strange at all. Not by the look of him, anyway.
“Yeah, I know, honey, but you'll have to wait for a few minutes. Mummy needs to take a shower first”.
Danny knew that Emily wanted some time alone to fix herself up a bit. She was by no means an early bird, either.
“I'll make us some breakfast”, she said, winking at her lover. “I'm really hungry too for some reason”.
She smiled when she saw Emily becoming flushed.
“What do you say about that, Max?”
She directed her attention towards the boy.
“Yeah!” he said, running towards her. He took hold of Danny's hand, dragging her along with him. Danny could do nothing but let herself be led away from there. She could hear Emily laughing behind them as they left the room, heading for the kitchen.
***
Emily smiled at her own image reflected in the large mirror. She wasn't really unbiased, but she thought she really looked like she had been having sex. Hot, incredible, mind-blowing sex.
And lots of it too. God…
Emily took her T-shirt off and ran her fingers through her messy blond hair. Her naked skin was flushed from the feelings that wouldn't leave her. She could actually still smell Danny's scent on her body and her touches had left Emily in a state of arousal she had no idea what to do with. She slowly trailed her fingers down her body, circling them around her breasts, and then further down her belly. She moaned from the sensations her own fingers inflicted on her skin, erect nipples yearning to be touched.
But not by her own hands. That would never be enough, Emily thought. The body she saw in the large mirror was from now on claimed by another. The one person who could ever fully sate her. The one person by whom her body craved to be touched.
Emily even thought her own body looked different. As if it had changed somehow. Maybe she was looking at herself differently. Or maybe she had changed? She was certainly not the same woman she had been the day before.
Emily took her panties off and stepped into the shower, turning the heat down considerably, gasping as the cold water hit her body. She needed to cool herself off since she was so damn turned on. She closed her eyes as she let the cold water run down her face and chest, seeing Danny's face before her, feeling her competent hands, roaming over her body, touching her. Her mouth. Her soft, full lips. Her tongue. She had made her come three times in just a few minutes. Emily couldn't keep herself from moaning out loud just from the thought. Thinking like that only made things worse, but she couldn't make herself stop. Thinking about it. About her.
“Oh my God…” she moaned again, turning off the water after rinsing the soap off her body.
She had made a quick thing of it all, since she could hardly stand the touch of her own hands against her skin. This was insane. The cold water hadn't helped much at all. Emily really, really, couldn't wait for night to come.
***
“Hi, mummy! Danny and me are making pancakes!”
Danny was just about to turn the last two of the pancakes she had made when she heard Max greeting his mother. She turned from the stove and watched Emily as she stroke her son's hair. She had changed into a pair of navy blue sweat pants and a clean white T-shirt. She looked great, natural, having no makeup on.
“Yeah? You're helping too, huh?”
Max nodded, looking really proud and Danny could see Emily watching her. She smiled.
“It smells really good”.
Emily walked up to Danny and kissed her on the cheek. It was sexy as hell, seeing her standing there making pancakes in nothing but a t-shirt and boxer panties.
“Can I help you with anything?”
“No, just go and sit down. I've got this. I made us coffee; it's on the table”.
Emily kissed her cheek again.
“Thank you”, she whispered in Danny's ear. “I'll show you just how much this means to me tonight”.
Danny had to swallow hard from her words, watching Emily as she sat down by the table, pouring Max a glass of orange juice. She looked hotter than ever and had a whole other look in her eyes. Danny had to swallow every time she stole a glance at the blonde. Emily was assisting Max as he poured some milk onto his cornflakes, but was watching Danny the whole time, making her feel as if she were undressing her with her eyes. She could feel her skin get moist and had to wipe her face with the kitchen towel she had thrown over her shoulder. Dear God…
“How's those pancakes coming along?”
Danny saw Emily smiling at her and it wasn't until she started smelling burned pancakes that her brain started functioning again.
“Shit!” she burst out, taking the pan with the now ruined pancakes off the heat.
“Mummy, Danny said a bad word”, Max exclaimed and Danny could see the smile in Emily's eyes when she watched her, even though she tried to look stern in front of her son.
“Yeah, I heard”, she teased. “That's not good”.
Emily saw Danny turning red and couldn't suppress her smile any longer when she saw the otherwise so confident woman becoming flushed.
Danny put the pan away and sat down by the table as well, next to Max. She looked at the woman sitting across the table, in front of her. She knew she liked to tease her. Danny put a couple of pancakes onto everyone's plates and poured a large amount of maple syrup on her own and took a bite, slowly putting it in her mouth as she looked Emily straight in the eyes.
“Maybe I need to be punished?” she teased back, licking her lips, feeling the immense satisfaction when she saw Emily's smile fade away, being replaced by another look; a look Danny now recognized.
Emily felt her whole body tingling as she watched Danny slowly lick the maple syrup from her lips. She knew what that tongue felt like. Every cell in her body had obviously memorized it, considering how her body reacted.
“How the hell am I going to last until tonight?” Emily thought to herself. She really needed to change the subject, to think of something else.
“So what do you two want to do today, huh?” she asked, turning her attention towards her son. She was pleased to see that he had almost finished his breakfast. He always ate better the times when Danny cooked. She wasn't surprised and she certainly didn't mind.
“Maybe we can go down to the lake?” she suggested, raising her eyebrows towards Danny.
It was warm out and she knew Max loved the place. And the prospects of spending the day in the company of a hot Danny wearing, well not much, wasn't that bad either. Not that she was selfish or anything. She smiled towards Danny when she heard her laugh lightly.
“What do you say, Max?” she asked the boy even though she already knew what his answer would be. He was in fact already on his way to leave the table.
“Max, finish your o.j first!” Emily told him.
He was so excited he couldn't sit still, but he did as he was told, finishing his juice as quickly as he could.
“Come, Danny!” he took hold of Danny's arm, pulling on it.
She smiled at his excitement, but he would have to wait until they were ready. She didn't even have clothes on…
“Do you know what, Max; why don't you go to your room and get the things you want to bring and mum and I will finish up here before we go, ok?”
He was already on his way. Danny looked over towards Emily; she was smiling.
“Thank you”, she said. “He gets so carried away”.
Emily stood up and brought their plates along with her to the dish-washer, putting everything in. She felt strong arms embracing her from behind and smiled to herself as a hard body pressed itself up intimately behind her. Danny had told Max to go to his room for a reason, she realized. She turned around in her arms and moaned as warm hands found their way to her backside.
“You'll bring your bathing suit too, won't you Emily?”
Danny smiled and slid her hands under the rim of Emily's sweatpants, massaging her butt firmly. Emily moaned silently from her ministrations, smiling back at her.
“Yeah, I think I could use a cold swim”.
Danny just laughed and kissed her. She had plans for the blonde later. If she only knew what was in store for her.
***
They got to the small lake about an hour later after having made some sandwiches and drinks to bring with them, guessing they would probably be there for a while. They had decided to walk there instead of taking the car, since it wasn't that far and they figured they would take advantage of the great weather while it lasted.
“Don't go down to the water by yourself, Max!” Emily told her son as they followed the narrow trail, lined with tall pine trees, as they neared the lake and he started running off to get there first. She smiled at him and put her arm around Danny's waist, already missing the closeness of her body.
“He looks so much like you”, Danny said, watching the boy run off; his small, blue backpack bouncing with his every step as he got closer and closer to the sunlit clearing.
“Thank you. I guess”, Emily said, looking at her lover. She was smiling and the intense look in her clear, light blue eyes clearly told Emily that it was a compliment.
“Yeah, he's beautiful”, Danny said. “Just like you”.
She smiled towards Emily and took her hand, feeling her own being squeezed tightly, as they walked on. Danny took a deep breath, relishing the fresh air and the faint scent of grass and amber. She knew that Emily didn't realize how beautiful she was; she had noticed that on many occasions during the short time she had known her.
Danny felt Emily leaning into her slightly and she took hold of her hand tighter as they reached the clearing. The sun was shining brightly, making the still surface of the lake glitter like a million diamonds, almost blinding them as they left the shadow the tall trees had provided.
The small beach was empty, besides for Max and a few birds. Danny was really glad no one else was there and unconsciously started to relax a little.
Not many people knew of the place, due to its location, but there always used to be a few people there just the same. She didn't trust anyone, except for Emily. They were still looking for her, she knew that.
“I'm glad no one is here, too”, Emily said, reading Danny's thoughts.
She had sensed that Danny was worried.
Emily felt the same way; she would never want to risk anything that could possibly take Danny away from her, especially now. Now, Emily needed her; craved her presence.
She was convinced that Danny would leave, without her, if she felt or even suspected that something was wrong or if she, by staying, somehow risked Emily's or Max's wellbeing. Despite her pleading her not to. Despite that they were now lovers. Or whatever it was they were to each other. To Emily they were so much more than that. It scared her as hell.
“Come on, Danny”, Max shouted as he ran towards them, interrupting them as he pulled on Danny's hand.
He had taken off his backpack and T-shirt and had already changed into his shorts, ready to get into the water. Danny couldn't help laughing. He was so energetic.
“I'll be there in a moment”, she said to him. “You go ahead, Max”.
She shook his head at him as he ran towards the water, apparently not caring if it was warm or cold.
They chose a more secluded spot of the small beach and took out the large, white blanket they had brought, placing it close to a large rock, which made the place they had chosen at least somewhat sheltered from the wind and it also provided some shadow. It was necessary because it was hot as hell; the high standing sun burning their skins.
Danny sat down on the sand, burying her toes in it; it was rather hot, but it felt good.
She watched Max for a while, making sure that he didn't go too far out into the water, before directing her attention towards Emily. She was taking her shorts and T-shirt off, changing into a black bikini and smiled towards Danny when she turned around and realized that she was being watched.
She bent forward slightly, teasingly, as she put her clothes down on the blanket, feeling really pleased when she saw the reaction on Danny's face; her eyes directed towards her cleavage. She looked as if her mind was in a completely different place.
“What are you thinking about?”
Danny just kept on looking at her and Emily wasn't even sure that she had heard her question.
“Danny?”
“Huh?”
Danny was drawn from her musings. She realized that Emily must have said something to her. She saw the blonde approaching her, kneeling down in front of her in the sand.
“I just asked what you were thinking about”, Emily said, caressing Danny's cheek.
She watched the woman sitting before her. She had a pair of black shorts and a white tank top on and her skin was tanned from being outside a lot. She was so damn sexy, Emily thought and she could feel her body react, like every time she looked at her.
“I was thinking about you”, Danny confessed and bent slightly forward, putting her hand behind Emily's head. She brought their mouths together, kissing her tenderly.
Emily could feel her heart speeding up and had to tear herself away, since they weren't alone. She looked over at her son; he was playing in the sand, singing something to himself as he went about it.
“We'll continue this tonight”, she said, reluctantly letting go of Danny, who just smiled and winked towards her before standing up, brushing the sand off her shorts before making her way to the boy who was still sitting in the sand a few meters away.
***
Emily enjoyed herself immensely as she lay on her side on the blanket, watching the two of them playing in the water. They seemed to enjoy themselves, too. Danny was teaching Max how to swim and he was laughing and proudly shouting to his mum to watch his accomplishments as he got better and better at it.
Danny was so good at teaching him; she was so patient, Emily thought. She seemed to have done it before. It really hadn't taken that long at all. It had been an hour, maybe and now he was swimming around in the shallow water all by himself, with Danny just keeping a watchful eye over him.
Emily smiled towards Danny as she turned around and looked at her. It had been only her and Max for a long time now, but when Danny looked at her that way, Emily couldn't help feeling really good about how things were right then. As stupid as it was, she felt almost as if they were a family, the three of them, not that they were just playing an illusionary game of house.
And she could see the change in Max as well. Emily hadn't seen him like this in a long time. This happy and seemingly less worried.
Danny told Max to stay close to the shore and went towards Emily, who was lying in a suggestive position on the white blanket; her tanned body and black bikini being a sharp contrast to it. She had seen her watching them play.
“So what do you think, huh?” she asked as she purposely positioned herself above the blonde, making water from her wet shorts and tank top drip down onto her heated body. Danny laughed as Emily screamed when the water hit her belly, making her rapidly sit up.
“You!” she accused as she started laughing and pulled Danny down beside her.
“I'll get you for that!”
Danny just laughed even more.
“Yeah, that will really scare me”, she joked. “You just bring it on; I'm ready for you”.
She answered the kiss as Emily brought their mouths together, teasingly letting her tongue touch Danny's lower lip before letting go. They just looked at each other for a few moments; both reading the message so clearly written on the other's face. There was most certainly more to come, much more.
“Mum, Danny, look!”
They were torn from each other, both smiling at the boy as he proudly gave them a show of what he could do. He was swimming slowly back and forth along the shore line, the water cascading around him. A wide smile lit up his whole face.
“That's great Max”, Emily complemented him. “Just a few minutes more and then you have to get up and come and eat, ok?”
“Ok, mummy”.
He turned again in the water, heading back once more. He must have swum ten lengths or so already. Emily took out the sandwiches they had brought from the cooler box, together with slices of watermelon and three small bottles of orange juice.
“Here you go”.
She gave Danny a sandwich and poured her a cup of coffee as well. She just smiled gratefully towards her, before turning her attention to the boy in the water.
“Come on, Max, food is ready!” Danny told the boy, knowing perfectly well he had far too much fun to get up from there willingly. He did as she said, though, panting heavily from the exertion as he approached them.
“Did you see me, mummy?” he said as he sat down on the blanket next to Danny.
“Now I can swim!”
He looked at Danny with a wide smile on his face, high-fiving her.
“Yeah, Danny is great isn't she?” Emily smiled and looked at her lover, feeling her heart swell at simply the sight of her. She would never have thought that she would meet someone like her.
“Danny?”
Danny looked over at the boy sitting next to her with a questioning look on his face.
”Yeah?”
She wondered what was going through his mind this time. It was amazing sometimes what thoughts his active brain could come up with.
“Are you gonna marry my mum?”
Danny almost choked on the bite of sandwich she was just about to swallow. Of all the things he could have asked, she hadn't expected that. She looked at the boy who was just watching her, while eating his sandwich as if it had been the most natural question in the world.
“Max!” Emily said to her son. What had gotten into him? She looked at Danny, worried about what she was thinking. She didn't say anything…
“What makes you ask that, Max?” Danny inquired after a while. She couldn't help feeling amused by his upfront approach, but then again, he was just a kid.
He took another large bite of his sandwich as he looked her right in the eyes.
“Because I want you to”.
Just as simple as that. Danny looked at Emily; she seemed worried and Danny had no idea on how to answer him. They had only been together one night even though she knew that their feelings for each other went much further back than that.
“Well, Max”, Danny began as she tried to clear her throat, “we'll just have to see about that, huh”.
This was getting a bit out of hand, she realized that. It hadn't been her intention, but then again, she hadn't planned on any of this. She had already destroyed one family.
“Yeah, well I hope you do”, he continued. “Uncle Tom and Aunt Jen sleeps in the same bed and they're married”.
He got up from the blanket and ran back towards the water, ending the conversation as abruptly as he had started it in the first place, leaving both Danny and Emily just sitting there, not knowing what to say or think.
“Well, there you have it”, Danny joked, trying to get away from the subject.
There is nothing like the truth told by a child, just saying exactly what's on their mind.
“Yeah. I'm sorry, Danny”.
Emily watched the dark haired woman; she was still smiling and it reassured her slightly.
“I know that we haven't known each other for that long, but to me it feels like I have known you my whole life and before. I can't explain it Danny”.
Danny moved closer to Emily and lay down with her head in her lap, closing her eyes as Emily started to caress her hair. She took a deep breath before she started speaking.
“For many years I had given up the thought of me having a family again; the thought of meeting a woman like you. Of me having a life even”.
Danny looked up into green eyes as she continued.
“And now, nothing terrifies me more, because I'm so afraid of losing you. I'm so scared that if I allow myself to relax, then something will happen that will take it all away from me. Something always has. It always does, Emily”.
“I won't let it”, Emily vowed. “I promise you”. She was afraid to ask Danny what she had meant by “again”, not wanting her to close up on her again.
And she wouldn't. She would probably kill anyone who tried to take this away.
It was an extreme way to feel, she knew that. But it was true. She had no doubt.
She bent down to kiss the woman lying in her lap. Emily saw the doubt in her eyes. The doubt that something bad wouldn't happen. But Emily didn't blame Danny. She knew that she had been through a lot, more than she had let out. She also knew that she would do anything in her power to try to change that.
***
They didn't go home until the late afternoon, when they started to get hungry and decided that Max had had enough for one day. They had been left alone most of the afternoon. Some kids had come there for a while, just swimming and playing in the water, enjoying the last few days before school started again, probably. They had minded their own business and not paid that much attention to them, which was a good thing. They had left after half an hour, maybe, leaving Emily, Danny and Max alone again.
They stayed for maybe an hour more after that. The sun had disappeared behind the tops of the trees at the other side of the small lake, which had made their stay a bit more pleasurable. It had been a really hot day.
When they returned home, they ordered pizza and watched some TV before putting Max to bed. He had been so tired after having been in the water almost all day, so he had fallen asleep on the couch around eight.
“He will sleep like a log all night”, Danny smiled at Emily as she entered the bedroom after having carried him to his bed and tucked him in. He hadn't even woken up as she had taken off his clothes and put on his pajamas.
“That's good”, Emily said. “Close the door”.
She stepped closer to Danny after she had done as she said, taking her hand.
“Come”.
She led Danny towards the bed.
“I've got plans for you tonight”.
Danny let herself be led and sat down on the bed, as ordered. She watched Emily closely, following her every motion. She was standing in front of her, slowly and teasingly taking all of her clothes off before moving in closer. Danny embraced her naked body and brought her even closer. She smelled so good. Danny inhaled her scent deeply and put her palms on Emily's naked butt; her skin felt like smooth velvet against her hands.
Emily moaned as Danny guided her closer, making her straddle her lap. The warmth of her competent hands burnt pleasurably on Emily's naked skin as she was touched and caressed to the brink of insanity.
“Take off your clothes”, she ordered as she tugged on Danny's T-shirt. She had intended to be in charge tonight, but at the same time, Danny's touches just made her want to submit to her. To be taken. Plain and simple.
Either way, she couldn't wait; the want she felt was almost overwhelming as she swiftly removed the white piece of clothing from the sexy body in front of her.
Danny raised her hips up, allowing her to remove her shorts and panties as well.
Emily took hold of Danny's dark hair and entwined her fingers in it as she kissed her. She heard Danny moaning into her mouth as she pressed herself more intimately against her and it triggered her even more. Emily loved the fact that she could make Danny feel the way she so obviously did. That she of all people could make her lose control. It was an intoxicating feeling. It made her feel powerful.
She pushed her tongue into Danny's mouth as she felt her grabbing her butt firmer, pressing them together in an even rhythm. They were both panting heavily, making them not able to focus on the kiss for long.
“Oh my God, Emily, I want you so much”.
Danny was so turned on by the woman sitting on top of her. Her motions, the way her breasts moved, the look in her green eyes.
Danny sat herself up again and brought the blonde with her as she lay down on top of her.
“Do you know how much you turn me on, Emily?”
Emily couldn't help moaning just from Danny's words. Turned on didn't even begin to describe it, she thought to herself as Danny started kissing and licking her way down her body. Every spot her mouth touched burned like fire and she couldn't lie still. So much for taking charge, huh… Emily just smiled to herself. To hell with it. She gasped when Danny reached the area between her legs, slowly touching her with her tongue, and let out a long, deep moan as she took her in her mouth. It was so good.
She had never experienced anything like it. Nothing had ever felt even close to what she felt when Danny touched her. She was such a great lover. She was both soft and hard. Tender and forceful. Dominant and submissive. She made Emily put a whole new meaning to the word lust. It was beyond her control, having taken her over completely.
She put her hands behind Danny's head as she raised her hips slightly, moving her body sensually against her mouth. Her whole body was focused on that one single spot. Everything else just faded away, completely, leaving her totally surrendered to the mercy of the woman she loved so much.
“Oh, baby”, she moaned over and over again as Danny used her tongue, relentlessly stroking her until she came, forcefully, making her whole body spasm. Wave after wave shook Emily's body, over and over, before it even began calming down slightly. She just wanted to scream out at the top of her lungs. Release everything that had been building up inside of her and rid herself of the last inch of the self-control she had desperately been holding on to.
Emily loved her son to death, but she really had to see to it that she and Danny had some time to themselves soon. So that she wouldn't have to hold back.
She was breathing hard as Danny moved up and lay down beside her. She could see the blonde smiling.
“Why are you smiling?” she asked as she slowly caressed her chest, making circles with her fingers.
“Because I'm happy”.
Emily turned on her side, facing Danny as she caressed her cheek. Everything felt so different now. With Danny. As if everything had fallen into place. She felt like a whole different person, emotionally and physically. Danny had opened doors in her that Emily hadn't even known were closed. She hadn't even known they existed.
“I've always thought that there was something physically wrong with me, you know”.
She could see the questioning look on Danny's face and she realized she didn't make any sense.
“You know, I've only been with Mike. Max's, so called dad. Before you, I mean”.
Emily didn't want to bring the subject of other people into their bed, really; she certainly wouldn't want to know anything about who Danny had been with before her, but she just wanted Danny to know exactly how she felt. She didn't know a better way to describe it.
She took Danny's hand in hers and kissed its palm lightly, hoping that she would understand. They hadn't really spoken of these sort of things before. For obvious reasons, but still.
And she didn't want Danny to think that she was comparing her to someone else, because that certainly wasn't the case. Not at all. Nothing could ever compare to being with Danny, she was more certain of that than of anything else in her life. She just needed to get this out of her chest.
Emily moaned as Danny pulled the cover away from her body and lay down on top of her again. Emily loved it, feeling the weight of Danny's strong body on her own. She took hold of Danny's firm butt, squeezing it lovingly.
“And that piece of shit had no idea how to touch you, huh?” Danny said as she began moving herself against the blonde, teasingly. She bent down and took an erect nipple in her mouth. She had a feeling she knew what it was Emily tried to say. Emily hadn't talked about him much, just mentioned him, but she had been able to tell that he hadn't been good to her.
Emily moaned and closed her eyes. She took hold of Danny's hand, guiding her towards her as she spread her legs.
“No, he was a selfish idiot who just wanted to fuck me whenever he felt like it”.
Emily felt Danny stiffen and stop what she was doing and she instantly regretted having said her thoughts out loud, not having meant to say them. The words just came out. She knew that Danny wasn't the jealous type, but still. She opened her eyes, afraid to look into Danny's. Afraid of what she might see there. Rejection. Disgust. Or even worse.
Danny was just smiling towards her softly and Emily almost started crying from relief. She saw so much love and compassion in her beautiful, blue eyes as well as something else, something she liked but didn't recognize.
She pressed her body against the other woman's as Danny kept watching her with intense eyes.
“I want to be inside of you, Emily”, she said simply. “I'm going to make you come. So hard”. Emily felt her heart speeding up dramatically and swallowed hard from Danny's words. And from the feeling of Danny's long fingers filling her, deeply. She groaned loudly from the pleasurable feeling of the sudden, but tender intrusion.
Emily placed her legs around her lover's hips and couldn't restrain herself from moaning loudly and shamelessly with her every stroke, feeling Danny taking her in a more determined and less tender way than before, watching the blonde the whole time. It was so primitive in a way, but at the same time originated out of so much feeling. She liked it. Very much. Emily had never been so damn horny in her life.
Danny looked at the woman beneath her, seeing the obvious passion in her eyes, in her movements, hearing it in the sounds escaping her. She thought it was the most sensual sight of her life and she was so incredibly grateful for that gift, for being the one making her feel that way. Danny couldn't stop thinking about how much she hated people who didn't have the sense to appreciate what they had. Especially if they had someone like Emily.
“You won't experience anything but pleasure as long as I get to decide, Emily”, she thought to herself.
She knew that Emily was close to the edge as her moans were getting louder and louder and when she felt her muscles tightening around her fingers, Danny bent down and kissed her to muffle the screams she sensed were coming and knew Emily couldn't suppress. They had closed the bedroom door and Max was most certainly deeply asleep, but still. She didn't even flinch as Emily bit down on her lip, hard, as her body shook uncontrollably. Danny could sense the metallic taste of her own blood in her mouth, adding to the already intense passion.
“I'm so sorry, baby”, Emily panted as she touched Danny's lip with her fingers. “I just…”
She couldn't continue as Danny kissed her again, her tongue forcefully entering her mouth, claiming it. Emily felt the taste of her blood as well. It fueled her desire and made her realize that that wasn't the only thing she wanted to taste.
“Lie down on your back, baby”, she instructed as she turned around, pressing Danny down.
She had never felt this want, this need to be in control. She just wanted to blow Danny's mind and was so turned on she wasn't even afraid any more, afraid to not do it right. She let her fingers run smoothly down Danny's belly, following the lines of her hard abdomen and then further down, between her legs. Danny spread them instantly, welcoming her. She was so warm and Emily couldn't miss how excited she was. She moaned as Emily slowly caressed her, relishing the feeling of her softness. So this is what I have lived my whole life without?
Emily took a hard nipple in her mouth, sucking on it, driven on by how Danny reacted to what she was doing. She kissed her way down the sexy, hard body beneath her and smiled to herself when she felt the movements her touches caused. She felt Danny moving against her, seeking more contact and complied when gentle, but firm hands guided her further down.
Emily didn't know who moaned first as her tongue touched Danny; she only knew she did. She lost all conscious thought as she tasted her. Danny tasted so good and she wasn't able to take it slowly as she felt Danny's hands massaging her head, holding her in place. Emily grabbed her firm buttocks and moved her against her mouth; the bare thought of what she was doing, of what pleasure she was obviously giving the beautiful woman close to her, made her crazy.
She kept her ministrations up, taking Danny in her mouth when she felt her come. She could see her desperately grabbing hold of the sheets as she tried to force herself to be quiet. Emily could see every vein in her throat, pulsating from the strain.
“Oh, my God, Emily…”
Emily smiled, feeling secretly pleased with herself as she moved up, laying her heated body down on top of her lover's. There was no doubt, even in her own unsecure mind, that Danny had liked it. She had felt the force herself. When she came. Emily lay her head down on Danny's chest. She wanted to hear, to feel, her heartbeat. It made her feel safe and convinced that this was not simply a dream. She closed her eyes as Danny caressed her hair.
“Have you always known that you were gay?”
Emily expected that she already knew the answer. She was sure of the fact that Danny would never have been with a man, even though they had never talked about it. She turned her head and looked at Danny when she felt her laugh.
“Ever since I found myself in love with a blonde called Tess”, she smiled.
Emily was ashamed to admit it, but she could feel herself actually getting jealous. She didn't want to be, but she simply couldn't stop herself. It was a feeling she had never experienced and never expected she would either.
It surprised her in a way, but at the same time it didn't. She regretted having asked in the first place. Why did she have to go there? She knew that Danny had been with other women, even if she hadn't said anything about it. And much more than just being with them.
She figured her feelings must have showed, because Danny just started laughing again.
“In second grade”, she added and Emily couldn't help smiling as well. It was so easy for Danny to tease her and she always did, every chance she got.
“Oh, you're so funny”, Emily said as she sat up, watching Danny smile.
Emily pressed herself more intimately against Danny's body and bent forward slightly, teasingly.
Danny moaned from the movements Emily made; her body was still extremely sensitive from before and every motion stirred the emotions again. She reached up and cupped Emily's gorgeous breasts, filling her hands with them. Emily closed her eyes when she caressed them and just smiled.
“I bet many women like you”, she said. “You're so damn hot…”
Her eyes were still closed and she moved against Danny slightly. Danny couldn't get enough of her and she honestly thought that she could make love to the blonde 24 hours a day. Every day.
She didn't want to talk about other women, even though she understood were Emily was coming from. Yeah, she had been with other women and more than so, but that was before. And a long time ago. In a whole different life.
Now, everything was different. That life was over. Long ago.
Danny sat herself up and they kissed again, an intense, sloppy kiss.
“I can't believe I want you again”, Emily panted as she moved herself against Danny, intimately. She grabbed Danny's shoulders as she felt warm hands on her butt, guiding them towards each other over and over again
“You make me feel so good, Emily, do you know that?” Danny panted and Emily could almost feel her heart swell as she looked at her. She clearly tried to hide it, but Emily saw that she was crying. It was the first time Emily had seen her really cry. She couldn't stand it; it broke her heart. Danny had always seemed so composed, so together and seemingly so in touch with her emotions. Emily suspected that it was all just an act. In front of her, to protect her, probably so that she wouldn't worry.
She guided Danny's face against her naked chest as she caressed her dark hair tenderly, moaning loudly when Danny took one of her breasts in her mouth as she sped up her movements. She pressed Emily against her hard, determinedly. Tears were running down her face, but she didn't stop what she was doing. Neither did Emily. Danny's actions and the way she held on to Emily tightly the whole time told her that she really needed this, this closeness. This intimacy.
Emily held Danny in her arms for a long time after she came, letting her feelings settle a little. And her own as well. She didn't say anything, just stroke her hair. Her own orgasm had been intense, almost overwhelming, like her feelings for the woman she held close. She had never known that you could feel like this for someone, that you could feel so much.
Emily wasn't going to let her do this any longer; suppressing her feelings for the sake of others, even though she knew that's how Danny worked; to sacrifice herself for other people. It hurt her, ate her up from inside. Emily had seen it in her face sometimes when she didn't think she was watching and she was afraid that she wanted it that way; that Danny somehow thought she deserved it. That she needed to redeem herself and didn't deserve to be happy. There were still a lot of things about Danny she didn't know. Things that had happened in her life. Bad things.
Danny took a deep breath as she let Emily lay her down in her arms, with her head resting against Emily's shoulder. She had totally lost it, lost every inch of control. The wall which she had fought so hard and so long to build up, had shattered and she had been powerless to stop it from happening. Danny knew that there was no way she could ever rebuild it, now when she had met Emily. She didn't want to either, but she had been living in its shadow for so long, she didn't know what else to do. How else to be.
“I'm sorry”, she whispered, afraid that Emily had misunderstood, seeing her tears as something else. She felt her forehead being kissed tenderly and opened her eyes as Emily shifted positions, supporting herself on one elbow, watching her.
“You don't get to do this any longer, Danny. Keeping your feelings from me, keeping them to yourself. I won't let you”.
“Emily…”
“No, Danny”.
Danny could see the no bullshit look on Emily's face.
“You don't have to protect me. I can take care of myself”.
Danny shook her head. Emily didn't understand. A lot of things had happened. Bad things. Bad things that were her fault. Everything good in Danny's life was always taken away from her, one way or another.
Emily just caressed Danny's dark hair away from her face. It was still moist from sweat. She would never leave Danny if it was up to her, she knew that, but she wasn't sure if anything she would say would make Danny know it, really know it. Her fears were so deeply rooted in her mind.
“You can't outrun your own shadow, Emily, that's one thing I've learned from this life, if anything. And mine is dark. Darker than you think. I will never be able to get away from it. Not that I should. I deserve it. Haven't it ever occurred to you that you actually don't know me, Emily?”
Emily watched Danny as she spoke. The look on her face made Emily's heart ache. Danny wouldn't look back at her. She realized that she really didn't know anything of Danny's past. She had never talked much about it and Emily had been afraid to bring the subject up. Afraid that Danny would leave her if she did. She'd always had a feeling that would be the case. That she would run.
But Emily knew who she was. What kind of person she was. Kind, unselfish. Good. She didn't care what Danny's past consisted of, only that she was here now. With her.
“I don't know what it is you think that you've done, Danny, but don't even think for a minute that I don't know you, because I do. I know who you are”.
Emily reached out to touch Danny's cheek, but she turned away from her and left the bed.
“No, you don‘t. You don't know anything”.
Emily took a deep breath as Danny silently walked away from her. She opened the glass doors that led out to the balcony and went outside. Emily watched her naked form disappear into the darkness. She shouldn't have brought the subject up, but at the same time she knew that Danny couldn't keep this up. They couldn't keep this up.
How they could ever have a future together if Danny would continue like this, was beyond Emily as she got up from the bed as well to follow her lover. The mystery of the enigmatic woman was still very much present she unwillingly acknowledged. Again.
Emily took a deep breath as she stepped out onto the wooden floor of the balcony. The moist, night air embraced her still heated, naked body, making her shiver.
“Don't try to shut me out”, Emily said to the dark haired woman as she joined her.
Danny was standing by the reeling, leaning slightly against it, her hair hanging loosely down her muscled back, moving slightly in the increasing wind. God, you're beautiful, Danny …
Emily saw her shaking her head as she bent it down, leaning her forehead in her hands. It took a few moments before she spoke, as if she was considering what to say.
“So you think that you know me because we've fucked a couple of times, Emily?”
Emily closed her eyes. She could feel her anger rising, not so much from Danny's choice of words or the harshness of her voice, but because Emily knew why she did it. Why she said it.
It was probably some kind of learned behavior; a defense mechanism and a way to keep people at a safe distance. But Emily had thought of them being passed that by now, which was clearly not the case. Emily knew she had to be more patient. It was just that she wanted this so damn much… She inhaled deeply, trying to calm herself down. Shouting or making accusations would probably only make things worse.
“No, that's not why”, Emily said as she approached the other woman. She put her arms around Danny's waist, feeing her body stiffening from the touch. She pressed her naked chest into Danny's back, intimately. She wanted to feel the closeness of her body, needing the contact desperately. The way Danny acted scared her. The fear of being left alone, without her, resurfaced once again. She couldn't help it.
Please, don't do this again, baby. Please don't shut me out .
“Do you really think that you can scare me away by acting this way, Danny? Huh? Don't you know how I feel about you?”
Emily caressed her lover's dark hair away from her neck and lightly kissed the soft skin in front of her, breathing in Danny's scent. She could feel Danny leaning her back into her slightly and tightened the hold around her body even tighter, relived by the small, but so important act of acceptance.
“Yes”, came the whispered answer.
Danny swallowed hard and closed her eyes as she felt Emily embrace her, trying to suppress the burning sensation behind her eyelids. She hated herself for being the way she was. She had regretted what she'd said the moment the words had come out. She did mean what she had said, though. Well, not the fucking part, but that Emily didn't know her. Maybe she thought so, but she didn't. Danny had made sure that things stayed like that for the most part since she had met the woman who had now become her lover. And so much more than that…
Danny knew that the moment she would share the details of her previous existence with Emily, would be the last moment she had her in her life. ‘Existence' was how she referred to the time before Emily in her own mind. It all seemed so far away. And so long ago. I wasn't worth to be called ‘life'. Not like the life she had with Emily. How could anyone make themselves give that up, when it would be so much easier to just keep on going as she had been?
But Danny knew that she had to. She had been selfish all her life, which was one of the reasons that had put her in the position she was in. And also what had ruined everything in the past. It was all her own fault. Her own doing. And now, history was about to repeat itself. This time, though, Danny wasn't sure if she would survive it. Or if she even wanted to.
Danny could feel her skin tingle from the delicate touch of Emily's soft lips and the feeling of her beautiful body pressed up closely against her skin, not letting her body or mind forget what they had done. That they had made love. How good it had felt. Physically, it had been better than a dream, more fulfilling than she had ever hoped for, yet more than that, making love with Emily had been like a soothing balm for her aching soul. At least for as long as she had allowed herself to be lost in the feelings. Feelings that she had almost forgotten she could feel. If she ever had.
She hadn't planned for it to happen, even though she had wanted it to for a long time. Since the beginning. It just did. The desire she felt was so strong, she couldn't stop herself. Nor did she want to. So, she had let it happen. She had made it happen. Even if it would turn out to be a mistake, she would treasure it for as long as she would live. She knew what she had to do, though.
She relished the intimate closeness for a long time before leading them back into the bedroom, so that she would always remember it. She held Emily in her arms for a long time as she slept, trying desperately to keep herself from crying. She didn't deserve her. And Emily deserved more than this. More than her. She had pretended long enough. She gave the sleeping beauty beside her a soft kiss on the forehead as she closed her eyes.
“I'm sorry, Emily. Please forgive me”.
***
Emily woke up a few hours later from the drumming sound of raindrops smattering on the windows. The feeling of dread that came over her was instant. No warm body was snuggled up against her. The other side of the bed was cold. She got up from bed and pulled out a t-shirt from her closet to put on her still naked body. Her heart was pounding in her chest. Hard. Something wasn't right, she knew that.
To be continued in chapter five...
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