I hope you enjoy this chapter and as always, since I actually really want to know what you think, opinions, suggestions, comments or criticism for that matter are very welcome, concerning this chapter or previous ones.
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For disclaimers see chapter one...
Chapter 5
I have no claim on her .
That was what Emily had kept telling herself since the day Danny left. It had become her mantra.
I have no claim on her.
She had tried to convince herself of that fact. Because she knew that it was just that.
A fact. She really had no claim on her. Danny wasn't hers. Never had been.
She was a tough sell, though. Because her heart kept telling her different things than her brain did. Because Danny had most certainly claimed her. Her body, definitely, but more than that; her mind. Her soul.
Three days had passed since the dark haired woman had left her. Walked out of her life. The woman she now realized that she loved. They had been the worst three days of her life. And Emily had been through some shit before. But nothing like this. It had driven her crazy. Not just the fact that Danny had left her without as much as a word or a goodbye. Anything. But also the fact that Emily didn't even know if she was alive. Or if she was; if she then would stay that way. If she would ever see her again.
She would never forget the state Danny had been in when she met her. When she found her. If sent shivers down her spine every time she thought about it. And she didn't know what, or who, had done that to her. Only that Danny had said that none of it was over. She regretted not having been more persistent. She should have simply made Danny tell her more about her past. About what had happened. But she had been so afraid. Afraid of knowing the truth. Afraid that Danny would leave. And where had it left her? Just exactly where she had been afraid of ending up all along. Alone. Without her.
Emily also knew that she should be more angry. Angry at Danny for leaving her like that. Especially after what they had done. After they had been together. It had meant a lot to Emily, much more than she wanted to admit, and she knew that Danny had felt it too. Their connection.
But she wasn't angry. She couldn't make herself even if she tried. And God knows she had tried. Tried to make herself feel differently about her. Willed herself. To feel less. But it was impossible. She just felt more and more as time went by. And she was worried sick. She watched the news, searched the net, anything, in case there were some information or something about a dark haired woman being found. Found dead. It was hell. It there were nine circles of hell, Emily was already down at number ten.
That morning she had brought a still sleeping Max with her, driving around aimlessly, checking every road and place she could think of in search of Danny. To try to intercept her, wherever she was going. But she was nowhere to be found. She had no car, no money that Emily knew of. No means whatsoever to make it on her own. The only things missing were a pair of jeans, a pair of Nikes and a sweatshirt Emily had bought for her. Emily knew that she was healthier, that most of her strength had returned. At least Danny had said so. But maybe that was just a lie as well. Who knew? Anyway, no thought whatsoever helped her. Nothing did. And Emily suspected nothing ever would.
Emily had no idea where Danny was going. Where she even came from. Or if she was going to someone. That thought alone made her feel almost physically ill. She really didn't know anything about her except her first name, her age and that she'd had a younger brother called David. That wasn't much use in search of some more information, she realized. She had sat by the computer searching the Internet for something, anything, that would lead her to Danny or give her at least some clue, during every spare minute she'd had these last three days. And during the nights when Max was asleep.
Daniela wasn't a common name, but she had come up with nothing so far. And she didn't want to ask her brother to help her either, despite him being a cop, because she had no clue what Danny was running from. She had wanted to at first, when she was almost desperate and couldn't think clearly, but the more she had tried to focus and think about it, that alternative had felt increasingly wrong.
She didn't know if that would help Danny or just make things worse. If she had no idea what to do with anything two weeks ago, it was nothing compared to this. All she felt like doing was to just sit down and cry. Cry for Danny. For herself. For everything. But she had already done that. She had no tears left.
She just knew that she had to find Danny. Had to fix things. Had to help her. Even if she didn't know if Danny wanted her to. Or if she wanted her at all. She had left her after all.
But out of all the tears she cried came a resolve. A determination. A need. It grew stronger as the seconds, minutes, hours passed by. She would find her.
She had taken some time off work and left Max to stay with her brother and his family for a while. She knew that it would be the best thing she could do for her son in the situation and state she was in. He was already upset that Danny was no longer with them and had become increasingly so when she couldn't give him a good explanation as to why she had left. He probably blamed her.
She needed to sort things out, for Danny's sake as well as for her own. She knew she wouldn't be able to just go on with her life otherwise. It would always haunt her, she had no doubt.
Tom had asked a bunch of questions, which wasn't at all strange considering, but she had stuck with the story she had told him before; that she had to help a friend, even though she knew that he knew that it was more to it than that. He wasn't stupid. But what could she do? She had no idea what Max had or would tell them about Danny or about how things had been when she had stayed with them, but she had no choice. She had to do this on her own, she couldn't take the risk of causing more problems for Danny than what she was already in. She just wished, begged, that it was the right decision. The right thing to do. She didn't want to risk Danny's life. Risk the life of the woman she loved.
She returned home later that night. Alone. The house felt so empty and the silence made her restless as hell. So, once again it was just her and the computer. The machine had been her closest companion, her only hope in her quest of finding Danny, during the last three days.
She didn't go to bed. She didn't want to. She couldn't. Because she couldn't calm down enough to go to sleep. Sleeping was a waste of time. And because she could still feel Danny. Her body, the soft touch of her fingers on her own skin, as if she was still present. Like an invisible ghost. Constantly, but especially at night. Every time she closed her eyes, everything about her came back with full force. The feeling of Danny's touch. On her. Inside her. Her voice. Her words. And Danny's scent still lingered everywhere. In her bed. On her own body. She was almost going out of her mind.
Since the search on Danny's first name hadn't given her anything useful, she decided to try the only other alternative she had. Her brother. David. His death. It was a long shot, but it was all she had. Emily had gotten a sense of Danny's family being rich and possibly important or influential somehow. So maybe she could get their last name from somewhere. Maybe there would be something mentioned about the car accident and David's death in some newspaper somewhere. Or something. It wasn't much but it was all she could come up with.
She searched the Internet desperately for countless hours without even as much as a short break, going through page after page, site after site, of both worthless information and stories which would break her heart if she wasn't looking for something special. Something else. Something that could lead her to Danny.
She had searched half through the night before she finally came across something that instantly made her heart start pounding in her chest. Emily just knew, instinctively, that it had something to do with Danny. Her hands trembled as she scrolled up and down the page, reading the black and white text several times, just to be sure.
“ Ten year old boy died yesterday from the injuries he suffered in the unfortunate fatal car accident three weeks ago ”.
The header said everything. Emily had no doubt that this was it. It all fit with what Danny had told her, even the dates. Danny had said that the funeral had been in October and this article was dated October 17th. The article was in a smaller newspaper in a town in upstate New York which Emily had never heard about, but at least that would give her some information as to where Danny lived when she was a kid, even though Emily doubted Danny still lived there. She seemed to have wanted to get as far away from her family as possible.
And now she knew the family's name. Hopefully Danny's last name. Something to start with. It was a step in the right direction even if she honestly didn't know if she was or should be more happy or afraid of the fact that she had finally found something. Of the prospect of finding Danny. What would she do if or when she did? Emily had no idea. She hadn't thought that far. She was simply acting on instinct. On feeling. Following her heart.
“David Cacciatore Jr., the only son of David and Donna Cacciatore, passed away yesterday after having been in a coma since…”
Emily started to read, but her eyes were helplessly drawn from the text to the small picture that accompanied the article.
There on the right was a photograph; a photograph of a young, dark haired boy whose eyes bore the same deep, clear blue colour as the ones she now saw in her mind every time she closed her own. The same colour as Danny's. Dany's eyes. The resemblance was almost uncanny. Emily had no doubt that this boy was Danny's brother. It was as if Danny was looking at her when she watched the photograph. She had to look away. The boy reminded her so much of Danny, she could feel tears welling up in her eyes. She missed her so much. God, Danny, where are you? Please be alive.
Emily took a deep breath, trying her best to calm herself down as much as possible as she began reading the rest of the article. This wasn't the time to fall apart. There was no time for that at all.
The article covered enough information about the accident and what had happened that night to give Emily a fairly good idea of the events leading up to the things Danny had told her about. It had been raining heavily. The driver of the car had lost control of it and the car had uncontrollably gone off the road and crashed into a tree. It was a horrible accident, but the police had ruled it off as just that; an accident.
There weren't that much information about the family, though, and Emily got the sense that it was implied that those reading the article should know the family and who they were. It was strange, really.
Apparently Danny's father was a lawyer and a local politician. An influential one too, it seemed, owning his own firm. Hence the money, probably. Otherwise there wasn't much information which could be useful to her. She continued reading, skipping the parts which were less interesting to her, but there was nothing written about Danny or even her obvious part in the accident, which was strange. It only added to the strangeness of the whole thing.
At least she had her last name, that was all she needed, after all. Danny had said that she hadn't had any contact with her parents since she left that day after the funeral 17 years ago, so contacting them would be useless. Emily wasn't sure she would do that anyway, though. She didn't know them but hardly liked what little she did know about them. Who treats their own child that way? What kind of parents did? She had no idea what their history were before the accident, but that was no excuse. Danny had been left all alone. With no one to talk to. With no one to help her. But that would at least not be the case this time, Emily thought. She would do whatever it took to help Danny, whether it was welcome or not. If she could only find her.
‘Cacciatore'. The name could lead her forward, maybe. It wasn't all that common, probably.
”Daniela Cacciatore. Italian, huh”, Emily mused, not being able to suppress a faint smile despite herself. She was hardly surprised. Danny was passionate, that's for sure, both in good and in “bad” ways. She had experienced it first hand. Danny was passionate in everything she did. In the way she spoke. In the way she expressed her emotions.
In bed. In the way she made love. Emily refused to think of what they had done as something else. It hadn't been just sex. Not just physical. Not for her. And not for Danny either, she was sure of that. It had been overwhelming. Danny had been overwhelming, leaving Emily with something she knew she would never experience again. Have with someone else. It scared her, because this whole thing was not up to her. She had no control. She was simply left at the mercy of someone else. Of someone who wasn't here. Someone she didn't know if she would ever see again.
“Daniela Cacciatore” Emily typed, once again turning to Google for help. For once she was grateful for all the things you could use the Internet for. Finding almost every type of information you wanted. About almost everyone. Normally she hated it, but not right then.
Her heart beat like crazy in her chest as she pressed enter. Tenths of a second feeling like hours passing as she waited for the search result. Nothing. Nothing useful. She searched through countless pages of search results, but found nothing. Absolutely nothing. It was almost as if no such person existed. She had googled on her own name on several occasions, finding more information about herself then than she would have liked, despite her not using Facebook, Twitter or anything like that. But now in the search for Danny, she found nothing.
“Not even a fucking address”, she thought. Shit.
What the hell should she do now? What could she do? There were only two possible alternatives and she liked none of them. She knew that Danny wouldn't like her to do any of them either. But she wasn't there, was she? She was the one leaving Emily alone like this. Alone with no other alternative. It was obvious that she didn't want to be found. Not by anyone. Not by Emily. To hell with it. For the first time since Danny left, Emily actually started to become angry. Really angry.
With no other option, she did what she thought to be the best of two bad alternatives.
“Hi, Em, what's up”, she was greeted as her brother answered his cell after only one signal. “Why aren't you asleep?”
Emily closed her eyes and took a deep breath, preparing herself for what she had to say. What she had to ask. She had no idea if he was going to help her or not, but she had to at least try. It was her only chance. It was a good thing he was working a night shift this time and apparently he was at the police station as far as she could tell.
“I need you to look someone up for me, Tom”, she said, waiting for the unavoidable question.
“Who, Em? That so called friend of yours? You know Max has told us some things.”
Of course he had. He was only a kid. Emily wasn't angry. She knew that he would. He wasn't stupid. He had seen her and Danny sleeping in the same bed. Had seen them kissing. He knew what that meant. Thinking about it, she realized she was actually relieved. Relieved that maybe she wouldn't have to carry all of this around on her own. With no one to talk to.
“What is it with you and her, Emily?”
There were nothing accusing in his words, just worry, Emily could hear that. But she couldn't tell him everything. She couldn't risk that.
“Please, Tom, I just need you to help me with this. I just need to figure some things out, then I will tell you everything, ok. Please, Tom. Anything you can give me. An address. Something”.
“Emily…”
She heard the hesitation in his voice and knew he was questioning whether or not he really should do this.
“Please, Tom, do it for me. Please”.
She didn't blame him for worrying, not since what had happened with Mike. He would always want to make sure nothing like that happened to her again. But she needed this. Badly.
“Ok. What's her name?”
“Daniela. Daniela Cacciatore”, Emily whispered, beyond relieved that he was going to help her. She almost broke into tears as she said the name out loud. She was so tired, it made her even more emotional than she already was. The worrying was exhausting. It had drained her of pretty much all of her energy. She hadn't slept, hadn't eaten much since Danny left. She hadn't been able to. The only thing that kept her going was the knowledge that she had to find her. She wouldn't be able to move on otherwise.
She waited, trying to be patient as she heard her brother typing something into some computer system at the other end of the line. She had no clue what he would find. If anything. She was starting to get scared. And she should, she just didn't know it yet.
“How well do you know this woman, Emily?” Tom asked after a while.
Emily could feel her head start to spin from the tone of his voice. She recognized that tone. She knew it was something bad, not just a standard question.
“I… what do you mean?”
Emily swallowed down the lump in her throat. She wasn't sure she could take any more at that point.
“How well do you know her? Are you in a relationship?”
Emily couldn't stop the snort that escaped her mouth. Relationship? What a fucking joke. Danny had simply left her after something like that. Without so much as a word. That could hardly be classified as a relationship. Fuck and run, maybe. She shook her head at herself. She was most likely unfair to feel like that, but at that point she didn't really know how she should feel. She was really starting to question her own judgement. She knew she shouldn't feel as if she had been used, but feelings like that started to creep up on her anyway. Maybe it had just been the intense attraction that had played tricks on her. The lust. Maybe that was all it was. For Danny as well.
“No”, she answered truthfully.
“And you're sure about the name?”
“Well yes, that's her family's last name, at least”.
Emily closed her eyes. Unless she was married. God, what if she's married. What the hell have I done?
“Ok, well I can't find any information about a Daniela Cacciatore that is up to date, but what I can see is some things about a Daniela Hunter. Born Cacciatore”.
Emily had limited knowledge of the Italian language, but she knew that cacciatore is the Italian word for hunter. That must be her.
“So, she changed her last name”, Emily thought. She wondered why. Was it because of her family; that she didn't want any sort of connection to them, not even by name?
At least she doubted she had gotten the name from marrying someone. That would be too much of a coincidence. Or was it because of something else?
But the fact that Danny had changed her last name was no excuse for the worry she heard in Tom's voice. She took another deep breath, preparing herself. What the hell had she gotten herself into?
“What else is there, Tom? Tell me”. There was no point stopping now; she had started this. He could just as well tell her, even though she wasn't so sure she wanted to know any longer.
“I think you should really think this one through”, her brother began. He paused for a few seconds before continuing.
“Daniela Hunter was, and probably still is, the main suspect for the murder of her own family, Em. Her wife Samantha and their six year old son Daniel were shot to death in their own home about two years ago. She had no one who could confirm where she was at the time of the murder, but since there was no evidence found that could link her to the crime, the police had nothing to go on. The house showed no signs of any breaking and entering, the doors were locked from the inside. Nothing was stolen. They still haven't arrested or charged anyone for it, so the investigation is still ongoing”.
Emily heard her brother's voice as if coming from afar. She was starting to feel lightheaded. She really tried to listen but only heard bits and pieces of the additional information Tom told her about Danny and her life, but had a hard time actually registering it.
Danny had been as if non-existing for a long time after she left her parent's house, that much was clear. There were no records of an address, a phone number or even bank accounts during that time. Nothing. Then, she suddenly reappears again after five years off the grid as if being resurrected. Nothing made sense. She had apparently gotten a Master's degree in cell biology and genetics at some point and now owned her own company, Dynamic Code Technologies, which was conducting research in the genetics field among other things. Apparently she was, or at least had been, successful. The company still existed.
Just like that. If she was an enigma to Emily before, it was nothing compared to this.
Emily had heard everything Tom told her, but the only thing that really got through to her brain was the fact that Danny had had a family and that that family had been murdered.
And Danny was the main suspect of said crime. The only suspect.
Once again the images of Danny and her condition when Emily found her came back, haunting her. Only this time it was even worse. Because now, it made some kind of sense.
She didn't want it to, but everything started to make sense. She could no longer pretend. Pretend that everything would be fine. That they would be fine.
Danny hadn't had an alibi. No one had broken into their home. How could anyone else have done it? She didn't know what the hell to think. Who could kill their own family? She wasn't the one to judge people, but even she had a hard time finding an alternative explanation to this.
Emily could feel her heart breaking again; what was left of it. She didn't think that could be possible, but it was. How could she have been so wrong? She had always thought that she could trust her heart and what it told her, but apparently not. She had made bad judgements about people before after all; being with a guy who hit her was a good example of that. But nothing about Mike had anything to do with her heart. This was different. Danny was different.
But she couldn't trust it anymore. Her heart was a liar. A cheater. A fool.
To be continued in chapter 6
If you have a second to spare, please feed me atl.kay131@gmail.com