SSummary: This is the sequel to my story I Will Be. It's been two years since Xena has seen or heard from Gabrielle. Until one day she recieve's a letter from the Amazon Queen inviting her to the village for a festival. Will they be able to mend their broken relationship or has it been too long.
Disclaimer: See Part 1
Author's Note: This story is the sequel to my story I Will Be. I hope you enjoy it!
Comments are very much appreciated.
If you wish to send them to me, my email is jacklavigne13@hotmail .com
Chapter Four
I laid down on the soft bed in exhaustion, my legs hanging over the edge as I sighed. I had finally put Eve to sleep after unpacking all the things I'd need for the next few days and now I let my mind wander, thinking over the last few hours I'd spent in the Amazon village. I was confused to say at the least. The welcome I got from Gabrielle unnerved me, the way she held me tightly in her arms as if she was afraid I'd dissapear if she let go. It made me angry to think about it, because I never dissapeared: that was her job. She was the one that dissapeared from my life. I closed my eyes, taking a deep breath of air to calm myself. I didn't want to think about that anymore, I have other more important things to think about.
Like Alexandria for instance.
Gods, that woman infuriated me. She was so unpredictable and it scared me, never knowing what she was going to do next. She had asked for seperate rooms which terrified me more than anything. Had she changed her thoughts on our relationship now that she'd met Gabrielle? I shook the thought from my head, it was unheard of for Alexandria to back down to anyone, even an Amazon Queen. But why else would she make the decision? Was she trying to be polite? Or did she not want to hurt Gabrielle's feelings by sharing a bed with me in her village. These thoughts were more likely because I knew how considerate Alexandria was of other peoples feelings. But she never hid who she was from anyone, she might downplay it, but she never hid. So, why was she hiding now?
Speaking of the devil, I could hear her soft footsteps as she walked towards my hut. So quietly that if I was anyone else I wouldn't be able to hear it, she opened the door to my hut and stepped inside. Our eyes met and I caught an emotion in the depths of her deep blue eyes, but I couldn't distinguish it. She smiled at me, glancing towards Eve in her cot before walking towards me silently. She laid on her side next to me and I glared at her.
"What?" She asked innocently, fluttering her eyelashes.
"Why?" I whispered, my brow furrowing. "Why did you ask for seperate rooms? Are you ashamed to be with me?"
She laughed softly, the sound like music to my ears as she rested her hand on my chest. "You know I'm not ashamed of you, Xena."
"Then why?" I persisted, my voice raising slightly. "Why don't you want to share a hut with me? Has this got to do with Gabrielle? Or does it go deeper than that?"
Alexandria sighed, sitting up and running her fingers through her short hair. She looked around the room, almost nervously before her eyes fell on my daughter in the corner.
"We need to be quiet," she said softly, looking down at me. "Eve is asleep."
"Don't try to change the subject, Alexandria," I growled, sitting up beside her. "Tell me why."
"Because," she exclaimed, throwing up her hands. "Because, I'm not Eve's mother, I'm not an Amazon Queen and I'm certainly not your soulmate."
I stared at her in disbelief, my eyes wide and my mouth agape. "What?"
"You and I, Xena, we're great together," she said, standing up and pacing. I couldn't help but find it cute, the way her hands moved as she spoke. "Everything is perfect, almost. The home we have is perfect, Eve is perfect, our lovemaking. Well, our lovemaking is something else altogether."
She grinned at me, giving me a small wink before continuing.
"But we're not made for each other, Xena," she said softly, looking away from me. "Our bodies fit together and there's passion, so much passion between us. I know your past and you know mine and we accept each other. It's just comfortable, what we have. It's the kind of relationship you get into while waiting for the real thing to come along. Except, you've already found your real thing."
I could feel the very familiar anger rising up inside of me with every word she said. This wasn't what I wanted to hear from her. Is this what she thought of the last year we spent together? That we were just comfortable? I wasn't going to lie to myself, I know that Gabrielle is my soulmate. I know that I loved her, maybe still do love her. But sometimes, love isn't enough. There was so much pain in our history, so much betrayl and hurt and I don't want to go back to that. I needed to make Alexandria understand.
"No," I said, standing up and grabbing Alexandria's arm to stop her from pacing. "No, you don't get to say that to me."
"Xena," she started, but I cut her off.
"No. We work. You and I, we work together," I said softly, looking into her eyes. "We trust each other and I need that. You have faith in me. Gabrielle doesn't trust me and she doesn't have faith in me like you do, at least not anymore. What happened between Gabrielle and I was beautiful, but it was terrible. We hurt each other, too much to return to it again, can't you see that?"
"Oh really?" I could hear the edge in Alexandria's voice and I took a step away from her in confusion. "You hurt each other? You fucking hurt each other. Really, Xena? The pain you caused each other was nothing to the pain you and I caused each other. The only difference is that you and I had time apart and we changed. Well, you know what? You and Gabrielle have had time apart and you both changed. So, what is the difference?"
"I'm not afraid with you!" I yelled, my anger blazing now. Why couldn't she understand? "I don't wake up every morning with you, scared that you'll be gone! I don't have to be worried everytime I go away because I know when I come back, you'll be sitting on the porch we built together, waiting for me to come home with Eve in your lap. I don't have to be scared that every time I get a little angry or make a mistake that you will have had enough, because you know me. You've seen me at my very worst and you still only always see the best."
"Because we're comfortable!" Alexandria screamed back, her eyes shining with tears. Tears of sadness or anger, I don't know. "That's what I'm saying, Xena. You're comfortable with me."
"I love you!" I replied, shocking myself and her. She stared at me, a stray tear slipping down her cheek as she opened her mouth to speak but we stopped as we heard the front door squeak.
We both turned to the door and I exhaled the breath I hadn't realised I'd been holding as I saw Gabrielle standing there. Her eyes were wide as she glanced between us, licking her lips nervously.
"Saved by the bell," Alexandria muttered under her breath and I glanced towards her sharply.
"I'm sorry, I didn't mean to interrupt," Gabrielle said, still standing in the doorway. "I did knock. Is there something wrong?"
"No, of course not," Alexandria replied with a reassuring smile. "Xena and I were just discussing how comfortable the bed's were. Nice, comfortable beds, right Xena?"
I grunted in reply, looking at my daughter in wonder as she continued to sleep peacefully. The girl could sleep through a war, just like Gabrielle. I was confused and angry and the last person I wanted to see right now was standing in my doorway, in all her perfect, beautiful glory. I listened as she laughed softly, making some comment about the bed while I cursed her for interrupting Alexandria's next words. The words that would make or break our relationship.
"Would you mind giving me a tour of the village?" Alexandria asked Gabrielle, causing my anger to rise even higher.
"Of course," Gabrielle replied, glancing towards me. She could see I wasn't happy with her answer and it delighted her. "Come on, we'll go now before dinner is served."
I watched as Alexandria nodded before Gabrielle retreated from the hut, leaving us alone once more. The silence was deafening as we stared at each other, my eyes pleading for her to stay, her eyes begging me to let her go. My heart was breaking.
"Don't do this," I whispered as I sat on the edge of the bed, looking up at her. "Alexandria, please."
"I'm not doing anything," she replied softly as she walked towards me, gently running her fingers through my hair. "I'm just going for a walk."
I pressed my face into her abdomen, wrapping my arms around her waist as she gently caressed my hair. She smelt like leather with the scent of my daughter still lingering on her clothes, along with her own natural smell that was just Alexandria. I couldn't describe the way she smelt, but it was familiar and comforting. It was what I needed.
It's comfortable.
I frowned, pulling back and looking up at her, closing my eyes as she gently caressed my cheek before leaning down and brushing her lips against mine.
"I love you too, Xena," she whispered softly against my lips and I smiled, opening my eyes to look into her dark blue orbs. "I want you to think about this though, okay? I know you think you need me, but do you actually want me? Am I just replacing someone else? Someone that you're too scared to want anymore, because they hurt you? Because if so, then I can't do this anymore. Once upon a time, maybe I could have, and in our past, I did do it. I stayed with you even though I knew there was someone else, many someone else's in fact. But now, I respect myself, and even more importantly Xena, I respect you. If you think there's a chance that you and Gabrielle could be together again, that you could love and trust each other once more, then you need to take that chance. Because I'm not your soulmate, she is. You and I could have a wonderful life together, an amazing life, but with her, you would be complete."
I opened my mouth to speak, but she silenced me with her fingers on my lips. "Just think about it, okay?"
She waited until I gave her a small nod before leaning down and giving me a soft kiss. After giving me a small smile, she left, leaving me alone with my thoughts.
That woman really does infuriate me, I thought to myself as I laid back on the bed once more.
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